Trust--am I the only one seriously

2

Replies

  • happywithme12
    happywithme12 Posts: 477 Member
    In what regard have you been screwed over, and how are they breaking your trust?


    talking about me behind my back and not giving me the same respect that i would give to them in the same situation, i just feel like i cant tell anyone anything without other people knowing things that i don't want a bunch of people to know


    I'm glad you weren't offended or upset by my previous post. :flowerforyou:

    I must comment on this: i just feel like i cant tell anyone anything without other people knowing things that i don't want a bunch of people to know

    Keep that in mind, don't tell people things you don't want others to know and you will probably be a lot better off. Don't clam up, just watch what you say. note to self: practice what you preach!

    Congrats on 100 days sober to the other poster, too!


    I don't get offended by others opinions i try to be a good person and be caring and understanding. I promised god that i would try to be a better person and i think i have accomplished that. I guess it hard sometimes when you have a problem and want to talk to someone but cant trust anyone
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member



    talking about me behind my back and not giving me the same respect that i would give to them in the same situation, i just feel like i cant tell anyone anything without other people knowing things that i don't want a bunch of people to know

    I'm pretty sure that if I tell anyone anything, it will be spread around. I usually go with the idea that people are gossips. I have found a few good friends who I can trust to not blab things. Instead of not trusting anyone, I just let it all hang out, and air my dirty laundry for everyone. Then it isn't getting warped and twisted in the retelling.
  • happywithme12
    happywithme12 Posts: 477 Member
    Just because you call someone friend doesn't mean that they need to know everything about you. I think as a whole we share way too much information with people and expect them to keep it confidential. We set them and ourselves up for failure.

    There's an old expression, "a secret is only a secret until you tell someone." I have found that a circle of friends will typically include only one or two people (if even that) that you can trust with everything. I have a lot of friends, but there are different levels at which I trust them. I have one that I would feel comfortable and safe sharing anything with, probably 3-4 that I would share personal things but nothing overly sensitive, and the rest are just fun people to hang out with.

    Some people might see this as not trusting people, or even that some of these people aren't 'true friends,' but the truth is many people can't be trusted. I guess it's more important to me to have people that I like to share my time with, but not so important to have people to share information with.


    i agree with this thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Trust has to be earned. If you're hanging out with people who have failed at every opportunity to earn your trust, then find new people to hang out with. Life is too awesome to waste it on lousy friends.
  • happywithme12
    happywithme12 Posts: 477 Member



    talking about me behind my back and not giving me the same respect that i would give to them in the same situation, i just feel like i cant tell anyone anything without other people knowing things that i don't want a bunch of people to know

    I'm pretty sure that if I tell anyone anything, it will be spread around. I usually go with the idea that people are gossips. I have found a few good friends who I can trust to not blab things. Instead of not trusting anyone, I just let it all hang out, and air my dirty laundry for everyone. Then it isn't getting warped and twisted in the retelling.


    LOL now that makes sense because you know people not tell others your business but get your business wrong in the telling of it
  • soldier4242
    soldier4242 Posts: 1,368 Member
    Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that everyone isn't out to get you.
    I am not paranoid, I only have a few close friends and those few what i thought were close friends apparently are not and its upsetting to know if i can't trust a few close friends who can i trust
    So you are saying you are not paranoid but that you think anyone you give your trust to will betray you?
  • happywithme12
    happywithme12 Posts: 477 Member
    Sounds like you need to find some new friends.

    Seriously.


    I agree does anyone want to be my friend I am a great listener and am pretty easy to get along with.
  • happywithme12
    happywithme12 Posts: 477 Member
    Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that everyone isn't out to get you.
    I am not paranoid, I only have a few close friends and those few what i thought were close friends apparently are not and its upsetting to know if i can't trust a few close friends who can i trust
    So you are saying you are not paranoid but that you think anyone you give your trust to will betray you?

    Sort of yes because after being betrayed by so many people its hard to know who cares and who really doesn't
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    Ok so it has come to light recently that it seems like I just cant trust a single person in this world, am I the only person that is having this issue. Should I be trying to find new friends that don't seem to think it ok to not care about how you treat other people. Please tell me I am not the only one that has been screwed over by pretty much all of my close friends.

    You can trust me, why don't you hop in my van?


    only if you have toys or candy

    ive got puppies :)
  • Janice2Shakira
    Janice2Shakira Posts: 257



    talking about me behind my back and not giving me the same respect that i would give to them in the same situation, i just feel like i cant tell anyone anything without other people knowing things that i don't want a bunch of people to know

    I'm pretty sure that if I tell anyone anything, it will be spread around. I usually go with the idea that people are gossips. I have found a few good friends who I can trust to not blab things. Instead of not trusting anyone, I just let it all hang out, and air my dirty laundry for everyone. Then it isn't getting warped and twisted in the retelling.


    Open books, ftw
  • kganc001
    kganc001 Posts: 317
    I have a lot of trust issues...A LOT

    When I quit drinking almost 100 days ago, I learned that most friends only cared about me when I was drinking, or having them over to drink. When I quit, I quit hearing from there.

    This is why I have internet friends, and I am loner.

    This happened to me. o.O
  • Grlnxtdr0721
    Grlnxtdr0721 Posts: 597 Member
    I am a very trusting person...As much as I know I don't need to give it out as soon as I meet people, I do. However, in our to get my loyalty, you have to prove yourself to me.

    No, you aren't the only one who has. I have been a number of times. I think it comes with the territory and is a rite of passage so to speak.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    You can't trust anyone. That's not a bad thing it's just reality they are all human and will f-ck up sometime. I had a very smart woman (who was pregnant at 12 been abused had her parents abandon her...tough life) say to me expect to be let down by everyone and you'll never be hurt. She said it matter of factly without emotion. I thought it was a good perspective. Friends dont need to know everything in your life. When you tell someone something expect it to get out. That's why you have to be careful what you say.

    You can still have friends and enjoy their company and laugh, but dont be too heart broken when it dissolves or they take your trust away. It's called being an adult it's harder to maintain friendships as you get older, and you have less access to develop friendships mostly you are limited to the adults you work with.

    People get busy or are bored with their own lives. Just enjoy your friends but know you can't bleed too much of your life to them.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    that's what life is,, people that stab you in the back.
    best to trust no one,
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Oh and happy 100 thats a huge deal! May you have another 100.
  • lizzzylou
    lizzzylou Posts: 325
    "a secret is only a secret until you tell someone."

    This is an excellent quote. If there's something personal you don't want anybody to know, then don't tell anybody. There are many people who can't help but having things slip out. Also, in my opinion, there are different types of trust. For example a secret, if it is truely a secret the only person I would MAYBE tell would be my mom. Another type would be ff you ask somebody to commit to giving you a ride to work, and you trust that person to actually give you a ride and not flake on you. Or another type would be a person that is willing to just listen to you if you've had a bad and not turn it around and only talk about themselves. I have many friends and they're all slightly different with what level of trust I instill in them.

    Best of luck!
  • lizzzylou
    lizzzylou Posts: 325
    Ok so it has come to light recently that it seems like I just cant trust a single person in this world, am I the only person that is having this issue. Should I be trying to find new friends that don't seem to think it ok to not care about how you treat other people. Please tell me I am not the only one that has been screwed over by pretty much all of my close friends.

    You can trust me, why don't you hop in my van?


    only if you have toys or candy

    ive got puppies :)

    I LOVE puppies! I'll hope in your van!!
  • happywithme12
    happywithme12 Posts: 477 Member
    Ok so it has come to light recently that it seems like I just cant trust a single person in this world, am I the only person that is having this issue. Should I be trying to find new friends that don't seem to think it ok to not care about how you treat other people. Please tell me I am not the only one that has been screwed over by pretty much all of my close friends.

    You can trust me, why don't you hop in my van?


    only if you have toys or candy

    ive got puppies :)


    OMG i love puppies
  • singlefemalelawyer
    singlefemalelawyer Posts: 382 Member
    You are def. not the only one. I have been abandoned, hurt, and used by a lot of people I trusted and it makes it hard to open up to people again after being withdrawn for so long. I have always felt like I don't belong anywhere - until I joined MFP and have met amazing people who understand what I've gone through and genuinely care about me.
  • KateCon912
    KateCon912 Posts: 200 Member
    Never trust anyone! Everyone is only looking out for themselves.

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