Is it cheating?

MrsKila

I had an argument of sorts today because a person in our workplace was giving advise on weight loss to another coworker, but the coworker giving the advise had gastric surgery to lose weight. So the other coworker said "that shouldn't count because she cheated". It kind of made me a little upset.
What are your thoughts?
If someone had surgery to help lose weight should they give advise on weight loss to others?
Was i wrong? Did she cheat?

AllOutof_Bubblegum

I think if a person had gastric bypass surgery, they may not necessarily know what a healthy diet is, or how to safely lose weight. GP patients have dietitians that plan out meals and diets for them to stick to, meals that most likely would be terribly inappropriate for a normal person to follow.

So I wouldn't call it "cheating" but I'd be very cautious of any diet advice from a weight loss surgery patient. Because if they really knew what they were talking about, why did they need the surgery to begin with? Why not just follow their own "advice"?

GottaBurnEmAll

A person who has weight loss surgery still has to put in the hard work of modifying their lifestyle after surgery.

No, it's not "cheating".

Surgery is not a magic bullet.

CipherZero

My opinion is going to be wildly unpopular. IDGAF.

Bariatric surgery is body modification as a solution to a mental problem.

GottaBurnEmAll

I think @jgnatca should chime in on this thread.

ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken

MrsKila wrote: »

I had an argument of sorts today because a person in our workplace was giving advise on weight loss to another coworker, but the coworker giving the advise had gastric surgery to lose weight. So the other coworker said "that shouldn't count because she cheated". It kind of made me a little upset.
What are your thoughts?
If someone had surgery to help lose weight should they give advise on weight loss to others?
Was i wrong? Did she cheat?

I *guess* it's "cheating". I mean, they went through surgical means to get the job done. But on the other hand I have known several people who had the same surgery and they did see weight loss at first, but somehow they still managed to eat their way right back to where they started. My husbands aunt and uncle both are right back to being obese. Their kids are also obese. At the end of the day it may just be a way for someone to regain some control if they will allow it to work for them. Honestly some people just don't have it in them to fight against food. It can be extremely difficult for these people. I fought against an inexplicable voracious appetite for years before I was able to get control back. So I see both of this really. I think even if it is "cheating" well, that's okay. If someone goes on to be happy and healthy who am I to judge how they got there.

Cahgetsfit

I know someone who first lost weight by being healthy and eating well, exercising etc etc - even went in a couple of triathlons and looked great.

Then he got obese again.

Then he got bariatric surgery. Sure - lost some weight at first. Now he's just as obese as before.

Surgery, as mentioned above, is not a magic bullet.

This guy I'd think technically anyway KNEW what he needed to do to be healthy and fit because he'd done it before.

I don't know about the state of his mental health (my friend's brother) - all I know is he works a lot and only hobby is fishing. Doesn't have a family and is in his mid 40s.

I don't know if it's "cheating" but I think that many people use surgery as a 'quick fix' and hope for the best.

Another example is a woman I know, in her 30s, no exercise, no diet (and again - when did exercise even without diet in the past, she started to lose weight!) got surgery. At the moment she's happy as she's gone down a good 20odd kilos. If she continues to live her sedentary no-worrying-about-food lifestyle, I predict that she will go back to where she was.

personally, I wouldn't take advice from someone who got surgery unless I was looking for surgery myself as an option and said person managed to keep the weight off for a prolonged period of time - like years.

GottaBurnEmAll

I am seeing an awful lot of misconceptions about the surgery in this thread. I paged a poster on MFP who has had surgery, I hope she weighs in.

While I have not had surgery myself, I do know three people who have, and I'm familiar with what they've gone through.

Some things I'd like to point out...

People who diet in general can be successful and then put the weight back on in much the same way that those who quit smoking will pick the habit back up again.

Losing weight permanently is difficult, because often the reasons for being overweight are multi-factorial.

And that is precisely why having the surgery is not cheating.

Of the three people I know who had the surgery, one remains successful in maintaining her weight. Why? Her prep was no different. All three had counseling pre-surgery. All three had to prove they could lose weight on their own before they had the surgery.

She was the only one who understood that weight loss phase to be part of learning to live a new life. The other two? They saw it to be something they had to just get done and over with. My successful friend has gone on to incorporate exercise into her life and now counsels other people who are considering getting the surgery.

It's much the same with people who fad diet and think it's some sort of quick fix. If they think that doing xyz will get them success and then they can be done with dieting? They're going to end right back up where they started.

The surgery is a tool people can use properly or not.

43501

Just yesterday I read an article that's been circulated around on the subject of fat shaming. I wish I could find it now, but one of the central points was that a lot of people who would greatly benefit from gastric band surgery either A- didn't want to do it because it felt like "cheating" or B- had it done and now felt excessively guilty/bad about it.

It's a *kitten* mentality to have. It really doesn't matter how someone controls their intake/portion sizes/nutrition, the endgame is to have a healthier human being by the end of it. Adding shame and stigma about certain methods is so pointless and counterintuitive and proves that people don't actually give a *kitten* about other people's health (i.e. when people fatshame and claim it's because they "want other people to be motivated to be healthier"), people care about finding whatever basis they can to feel superior and put people down.

kimny72

If losing weight is some kind of a game, contest, or race then yeah sure it's "cheating". But it's not. Calling the way someone lost weight cheating sounds kind of like a jealous petty child putting someone down to make themselves feel better.

Every way to lose weight has pros and cons. Everyone has to try to make the right choice for their own health. Diet and exercise is relatively safe and inexpensive, but there is a high failure rate due to lack of patience, among other things. Surgery of any kind carries some danger, but you get faster results. Both require hard work in maintenance. People should keep their eyes on their own paper. You can never really know another person's motivations, challenges, fears, support system, history, etc.

As far as someone who has gastric bypass giving diet advice, she still would have had to educate herself about nutrition and exercise. Although personally I think it's always better to avoid giving diet advice to coworkers, especially unsolicited advice!

Lounmoun

MrsKila wrote: »

I had an argument of sorts today because a person in our workplace was giving advise on weight loss to another coworker, but the coworker giving the advise had gastric surgery to lose weight. So the other coworker said "that shouldn't count because she cheated". It kind of made me a little upset.
What are your thoughts?
If someone had surgery to help lose weight should they give advise on weight loss to others?
Was i wrong? Did she cheat?

People have to work to lose weight and keep it off no matter what they do.
I personally view surgery as the more difficult/painful life-altering choice not the easier way to lose weight. So no I don't think of those people as cheaters.
Surgery doesn't mean the person is giving bad advice... doesn't mean they have good advice either.

tomteboda

People who have had gastric surgery have sacrificed a tremendous amount for weight loss.

They have adhered for months to a low-calorie diet under doctor supervision.
They have gone through numerous visits with nutritionists, counsellors, and doctors.
They have spent money in deductibles and copays (or out of pocket) to afford the surgery
They have endured physical side effects and the misery of dealing with a tiny stomach.

Cheating? Absolutely not.

All the same, its a route that I would not want to take. In fact, seeing ads for the new Bariatric Surgery Center at my local hospital was one of the many things that scared me into taking action on my weight. I realized I was the same weight as the people they were recommending for surgery in their posters.

Two years later, the posters have "before and after" photos. Guess what... I've lost more weight than any of their "success stories". And it was nowhere near as painful as what anyone I've known who has gone through bariatric surgery has experienced. So maybe they could accuse me of "cheating".

amusedmonkey

I don't consider it cheating. WLS is very hard and requires a lot of self discipline. Any mistake would make you physically sick and you could regain if you don't keep working on weight management, just like with regular diets. Some people feel it's worth it, but in my case I feel losing through diet would be easier and kinder to me long term so that's what I chose. Advice given by someone who went through WLS may or may not apply to others, not because they cheated, but because their situation is different and requires a somewhat different set of weight management tools. The basic tools are similar though, like managing social situations, cravings, exercise..etc. I see no reason why someone who was able to get a grasp on these aspects shouldn't be allowed to share their experience, which could be invaluable and could help someone.

MommyMeggo

For me personally, WLS isnt cheating in and of itself.
Typically for one to need surgery or be approved for it they will be pretty big and pretty unhealthy. Many have to pass some nutrition classes, show they can lose some weight on their own, etc.

Id never opt for surgery unless I had to. Its not like getting lipo or a nose job. Its life changing and even after the surgery their lives have to change. Not only do they need to change the way they eat for the sake of being sick or in pain - its not guaranteed a forever loss. Many gain it back or take up equally unhealthy habits to fill the void that eating can no longer fill. (drinking, smoking, shopping, etc)

For those who themselves use WLS as an easy out or a "cheat", have the mentality of i'll just let the surgery do it for me. They will either be successful and work hard, therefore WLS wasnt a form of "cheating". Or they will gain it back and have done all of it for nothing.

In the end- this isnt a game- it isnt a race or a one upper- Im not a referee and cant call anything cheating as there are no rules. I think what it comes down to is comparing hard work over someone who may take an easy way out (most often not learning anything). It only does one a disservice to resent the person or their efforts instead of pressing on doing their thing remembering: what they've learned, how far they've come and keeping their motivation positive.

ndj1979

it may not be cheating, but I would not take weight loss advice from someone that had to utilize surgery to lose weight.

Packerjohn

Weight loss advice (medical advice) from other than a medical professional should be taken with a grain truckload of salt.

jdhcm2006

I'm sure that coworker actually knows plenty b/c she had to go through nutrition classes before they can even qualify for the surgery.

Your coworker who said that was being petty, jealous, and rude for no reason.

No, it isn't cheating. It's one method to get to the same goal which is weight loss and maintenance of said weight loss.

cinnag4225

MrsKila wrote: »

I had an argument of sorts today because a person in our workplace was giving advise on weight loss to another coworker, but the coworker giving the advise had gastric surgery to lose weight. So the other coworker said "that shouldn't count because she cheated". It kind of made me a little upset.
What are your thoughts?
If someone had surgery to help lose weight should they give advise on weight loss to others?
Was i wrong? Did she cheat?

If it was absolutely necessary (as in all other venues including self control were exhausted), then no. If it was elective, then yes, I'd call it a shortcut. Not necessarily a bad thing, mind you, but the coworker giving advice needs to remember that meeting her dietary needs is going to be significantly different from meeting the needs of someone who hasn't had the procedure. As long as she's accounting for these differences, it's entirely possible her input has merit.

J72FIT

What was the advice? Good advice is good, bad advice is bad, regardless of the source...

ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken

MeganMoroz89 wrote: »

Am I the only one who read what OP said completely differently? I've been reading the comments and a lot of people are commenting on if having the surgery is cheating but I thought OP was saying that the coworker said that you can't trust the weight loss advice of the person who had the surgery because "what do they know, they cheated to lose their weight" ?

The last line in the original post: "Was i wrong? Did she cheat?" She is asking what we think.

ndj1979

Packerjohn wrote: »

Weight loss advice (medical advice) from other than a medical professional should be taken with a grain truckload of salt.

that is hilarious given some of the worst advice on this site usually starts with "my doctor/nutritionist/dietitian/ etc told me..."