Arms looking bulkier and big after weights help

Posts: 57 Member
edited December 4 in Fitness and Exercise
A lot of my friends and family are commenting on how toned and "bigger" my arms looks like now and I'm feeling really discouraged because they said it in a manner that is telling me to stop lifting weights cos it's starting to look bad! What should I do now??? Should I just cardio and lose the fats on my arms or should I continue lifting?? It's so hard for me to lose weight too help

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  • Posts: 18,343 Member
    edited October 2016
    kanaada wrote: »
    A lot of my friends and family are commenting on how toned and "bigger" my arms looks like now and I'm feeling really discouraged because they said it in a manner that is telling me to stop lifting weights cos it's starting to look bad! What should I do now??? Should I just cardio and lose the fats on my arms or should I continue lifting?? It's so hard for me to lose weight too help

    Please tell us all your lifting and diet/supplement routine - there are millions of guys lifting very heavy weights multiple days per week for years, taking every supplement known to man and drinking protein shakes by the gallon trying to make their arms bigger and bulkier without much luck. We'd love to know your secret so we can pile some inches on our arms!
  • Posts: 5,199 Member
    i worked with this guy once who told me how his wife had gotten all into weights and lifting and all, and how she kept asking him three times a day to feel her arms and see if they were growing yet.

    :) she really wanted them to and he was all sad because he couldn't truly-truthfully say that they were. so between him and me we made this little conspiracy that the next time i saw her i'd find a natural moment to do a small double-take and say 'gee [name], you look different somehow . . . have your arms got bigger?'

    i know that's the exact opposite of the way you're feeling. but i still get a little mushy moment every time i think about it so i like re-telling it anyway. meanwhile, i can't help wondering where people get off making any kind of uncalled-for remark about your body and how you look. and realizing that basically, people don't say positive things to women when they are commenting. so it seems to me that just because you're hearing negative feedback doesn't mean that negative is the real picture. most people have better manners than that so you're probably not even hearing the positive stuff. guess i just wanted to let you know that positive opinions are for-sure there.

    none of that helps how you're feeling, i guess. but it really is what i suspect.


  • Posts: 347 Member
    Hey, @Sued0nim, I can't wait for the day my arms look like that. They are fabulous!
  • Posts: 17,456 Member
    edited October 2016
    subakwa wrote: »
    Hey, @Sued0nim, I can't wait for the day my arms look like that. They are fabulous!

    Thanks I'm still a little unconvinced TBH but I'm working on my own perceptions which I think is what @kanaada could do too...nobody else's opinions matter
  • Posts: 12,942 Member
    i worked with this guy once who told me how his wife had gotten all into weights and lifting and all, and how she kept asking him three times a day to feel her arms and see if they were growing yet.

    :) she really wanted them to and he was all sad because he couldn't truly-truthfully say that they were. so between him and me we made this little conspiracy that the next time i saw her i'd find a natural moment to do a small double-take and say 'gee [name], you look different somehow . . . have your arms got bigger?'

    i know that's the exact opposite of the way you're feeling. but i still get a little mushy moment every time i think about it so i like re-telling it anyway. meanwhile, i can't help wondering where people get off making any kind of uncalled-for remark about your body and how you look. and realizing that basically, people don't say positive things to women when they are commenting. so it seems to me that just because you're hearing negative feedback doesn't mean that negative is the real picture. most people have better manners than that so you're probably not even hearing the positive stuff. guess i just wanted to let you know that positive opinions are for-sure there.

    none of that helps how you're feeling, i guess. but it really is what i suspect.


    You scoundrel! :D

    I like how my arms look when I flex them, and every so often my guy will comment on how "big your arm muscle have gotten." I love it, it makes me feel good....all the while knowing it's just 'cause they're flexed and us women don't get to bulk. :)
  • Posts: 103 Member
    Hello I am a army vet that cant exercise anymore because of injuries my goal is to lose 100lbs. any good ideas.
  • Posts: 11,463 Member
    It means you're getting toned & losing fat. Isn't that what you want?
  • Posts: 2,282 Member
    My goal is to have Michelle Obama's arms.
  • Posts: 300 Member
    kanaada wrote: »
    A lot of my friends and family are commenting on how toned and "bigger" my arms looks like now and I'm feeling really discouraged because they said it in a manner that is telling me to stop lifting weights cos it's starting to look bad! What should I do now??? Should I just cardio and lose the fats on my arms or should I continue lifting?? It's so hard for me to lose weight too help

    First and foremost what do YOU want. Secondly, chase that and f**k what anyone else has to say about it. You're arms are fine, they're just jealous because their arms still wobble or look like toothpicks. Do you :smile:
  • Posts: 12,942 Member
    My goal is to have Michelle Obama's arms.

    What will she do without them?
  • Posts: 300 Member

    I remember one of your first posts about your friends calling you fat.
    You need new friends. They're idiots who want to make you feel unhappy.

    1. It is incredibly difficult for women to bulk/gain muscle, even in surplus and lifting very heavy.
    2. You are not eating in surplus.
    3. Did you recently start weights? If yes, then what you are seeing is fluid retention in the muscles for repair.
    4. Screw what others say about you. Obviously they'll always have something stupid to say no matter what you do. You do you and laugh off what your idiots negatively say to you.
    5. Be proud whenever someone says that. Your aim is to be strong and fit. You're doing just fine.

    This right here. Get new pals. There's banter and there's BANTER. If you know someone doesn't feel your jokes don't keep doing it. What kind of bully friend is that. That's some bullsh*t. You got this.
  • Posts: 5,199 Member
    edited October 2016
    Red_Pill wrote: »
    they're just jealous because their arms still wobble or look like toothpicks. Do you :smile:

    maybe it just isn't a look that they like personally. not everyone with a silly/divergent opinion is inventing it just to stop you from getting to where you're headed. sometimes they just have different opinions and they're flapping their gums about it.
    SLLRunner wrote: »

    You scoundrel! :D

    i know, it was wicked, wasn't it :smiley: . but it made both of them so happy because it made her so proud and encouraged, and he was basically happy about anything that made her happy. so it was all-around win, and i was just happy to be part of it.

    mind you, the last time i saw them i was the one who'd been doing the lifting and i don't think they were fully impressed when i offered to bench-press their newborn for them :tongue:
    I like how my arms look when I flex them, and every so often my guy will comment on how "big your arm muscle have gotten." I love it, it makes me feel good....

    i partly got into lifting because of a male friend of mine. not that i did it for his opinion, but he was one of those big naturally strong guys, so he'd spent his whole life feeling like the world had decided being strong and having muscles was his job and nobody else had to bother, you know? meanwhile i'd never gotten that memo so it was just so nice to have a completely non-macho male friend who thought it was awesome that i'd just expect to do my share of anything physical, just like he did. i didn't even have muscles then, but you couldn't have told him that.

    i'll never see him again, and my head knows that. but i think for the first year of lifting i'd keep going because in my mind i was still getting to tell him 'hey, guess what i'm doing!' and telling him. he would have got such an incredible bang out of it.

    #end derail. sorry. just wanted to say, honestly - not everyone thinks a strong woman is deformed in some way.
  • Posts: 2,272 Member
    Sloth2016 wrote: »
    Look at the bight side: if you actually have discovered how to get big arms, EVERY guy on earth is going to be knocking on your door begging you to tell him your secret!

    Very true. Trust me OP it's not as easy as you think. It's probably just people getting to you. Even young guys like myself who are full of testosterone take up to 6 months to see a difference in their arms. If it's your arms that concern you, why not start a full body program like starting strength or strong curves?
  • Posts: 583 Member
    kanaada wrote: »
    A lot of my friends and family are commenting on how toned and "bigger" my arms looks like now and I'm feeling really discouraged because they said it in a manner that is telling me to stop lifting weights cos it's starting to look bad! What should I do now??? Should I just cardio and lose the fats on my arms or should I continue lifting?? It's so hard for me to lose weight too help

    Wait I'm confused, having bigger toned arms is a BAD THING????
  • Posts: 363 Member
    If you want skinny flabby spaghetti arms, stop lifting. Simple. If not, keep lifting and keep your eyes on your own goals.
  • Posts: 17,456 Member
    Seth1825 wrote: »

    Wait I'm confused, having bigger toned arms is a BAD THING????

    For women and their personal ideals it can be

    Sometimes I wonder if I live in a completely different world :)
  • Posts: 103 Member
    wow just wow I cant post im at work but wow
  • Posts: 363 Member
    Just saying. If you want to get bulky, you can do that, but it takes a lot of work. You're not going to get there by accident
  • Posts: 363 Member
    jayjay5549 wrote: »
    Hello I am a army vet that cant exercise anymore because of injuries my goal is to lose 100lbs. any good ideas.

    Diet. Diet. Diet. You can't out exercise enough to offset a bad diet. Just make sure you're at a slight caloric deficit every day and you'll lose weight. Time takes care of the rest. I lost 105 pounds. It took a year.

  • Posts: 103 Member
    thank you april
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