Help. Too thin and overwhelmed

Hannahrose888
Hannahrose888 Posts: 25 Member
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
hi guys, I need help. I have recently lost weight and now I am too skinny (I'm a 5'3 girl and I currently weigh 88 pounds). Everybody keeps telling me that I look unattractive and that I need to devour junk food. I know that my friends and family are right, and I need to gain some weight; however, I feel overwhelmed. I don't even know how many calories I should be eating. Also I don't really crave junk food. Can you guys give me suggestions on what to eat and how much to eat? Also should I exercise? (I currently don't exercise. I only do some walking). Thanks
«1

Replies

  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    edited October 2016
    Hiya. To start with,ignore the stuff about being unattractive. I've been underweight for a long time and get sick of people saying things like that.
    But you are underweight and it's likely to be affecting your health. I have found mfp really helpful in my efforts to gain weight. By tracking my calories I realised I wasn't eating anywhere near enough calories and also was more active than I thought I was.
    As long as there's no underlying medical issue (as far as you're aware),I would start slowly and set your goal to gain 0.5-1 pound a week. And have a look at the must read posts at the top of this forum - the one about being a "hard gainer " is really useful as it lists a load of high calorie foods and meals.
    There are lots of calculators online which give you a rough estimate of your maintenance calories and how much above that you need to go in order to gain weight. Mfp set my daily intake at 2030 to gain a pound a week and I'm the same height as you (but heavier now!)
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    this post screams some kind of eating disorder...I would suggest getting help from a trained professional....

    my advice..

    eat in a calorie surplus of 250 calories
    get on a structured lifting program
    seek help from a professional
  • CALS0CCERBEAR87
    CALS0CCERBEAR87 Posts: 38 Member
    edited October 2016
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    this post screams some kind of eating disorder...I would suggest getting help from a trained professional....

    my advice..

    eat in a calorie surplus of 250 calories
    get on a structured lifting program
    seek help from a professional

    uhhh...just because what she wrote "screams" ED (to someone such as yourself) doesn't mean it actually IS...so I would think twice before suggesting things as serious as professional help from out of thin air
  • Hamsibian
    Hamsibian Posts: 1,388 Member
    edited October 2016
    First, don't listen to others commenting on your looks. I learned this the hard way...I binged one weekend when I couldn't take it and was sick for the rest of the week. Tell your close friends and family how you feel. It's taken a while for mine to get it, even though they were commenting out of concern.

    I agree with the suggestions regarding both medical and therapeutic support . Get labs done to rule out potential health concerns. Therapy can really help with anxiety and underlying situations.

    For food, I have to cook everything from scratch for health reasons. I eat meat, veggies and fruits. Adding fats to every meal helps (i.e. oil on your veggies or a side of avocado). I am just getting the hang of mfp at maintenance, and have been able to eat at a surplus more consistently. Dried fruit, nuts, seeds, beans, whole dairy may help you as well. For me, it's health first, then weight second. Take it one day at a time, and everything will fall into place.

  • CALS0CCERBEAR87
    CALS0CCERBEAR87 Posts: 38 Member
    Other people's negative perceptions (ie. unattractive, blah, blah) of you DO NOT matter...people are gonna think and say what they want...but that has absolutely NOTHING to do with u--even if it's directed at you.

    If you PERSONALLY aren't happy about your weight and wish to gain in a slow and healthy manner...then it is best to talk to someone with the necessary knowledge, education and training to back up what they say (ie. a nutritionist) or even looking at reputable health-related websites online that can help you figure out an effective plan that increases calories/results in weight gain (without resorting to junk food/the bad stuff)... there are a lot of healthy high fat/carb foods (ie. avocados, brown rice, extra virgin oils, nuts, dried fruits like dates, meat, dairy, etc.) that can be included in addition to the right kind of exercise on a daily basis...
  • mitch16
    mitch16 Posts: 2,113 Member
    I'm surprised that your doctor has not mentioned your weight when you go for checkups--you definitely should check with a medical professional as you are seriously underweight. In the meantime, you simply need to eat more than you have been eating--there isn't a magic number--just more.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    snickerscharlie wrote: »
    CALS0CCERBEAR87 wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    this post screams some kind of eating disorder...I would suggest getting help from a trained professional....

    my advice..

    eat in a calorie surplus of 250 calories
    get on a structured lifting program
    seek help from a professional

    uhhh...just because what she wrote "screams" ED (to someone such as yourself) doesn't mean it actually IS...so I would think twice before suggesting things as serious as professional help from out of thin air

    If the OP is 5'3" and 88 lbs she is dangerously underweight. The appropriate concern that was voiced regarding the potential for an eating disorder is a very valid one, otherwise the OP wouldn't likely be 88lbs to begin with.

    OP: If you haven't done so already, please seek medical advice and ask your physician to also refer you to a registered dietician. People on this forum, although well-intentioned, are not qualified to advise you in this matter.
    This.

    Hannah,

    i believe this is a big deal for you to step out on a limb here and ask for help. Job well done! :)

    However, it is important that you speak with your doctor for a referral to a registered dietician and someone who can help you get on track with how much to eat so you will gain weight. It sounds to me like you might also need some emotional support because you really are dangerously underweight.
  • Hannahrose888
    Hannahrose888 Posts: 25 Member
    Thank you everybody for your responses.
    For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
    Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.
  • MsRuffBuffNStuff
    MsRuffBuffNStuff Posts: 363 Member
    CALS0CCERBEAR87 wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    this post screams some kind of eating disorder...I would suggest getting help from a trained professional....

    my advice..

    eat in a calorie surplus of 250 calories
    get on a structured lifting program
    seek help from a professional

    uhhh...just because what she wrote "screams" ED (to someone such as yourself) doesn't mean it actually IS...so I would think twice before suggesting things as serious as professional help from out of thin air

    Really? When was the last time you weighed 88 pounds? 3rd grade? Yeah, I think this warrants concern
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    edited October 2016
    Hannahrose888 wrote: »
    Thank you everybody for your responses.
    For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
    Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.

    Hi Hannah,

    I'm surprised your doctor did not mention any weight concerns. Do you realize that 88 pounds is 23 pounds below the lowest normal weight for your height, and 95 pounds is 16 pounds underweight? You can see for yourself here.

    I urge you to call your doctor and tell him what you told us and tell him you need help with this, and ask for a referral to a registered dietician versed in eating disorders. If he wont help you, find a doctor who will. You need real life support with this. :)

    However, we are here to support you as you make your journey back to health. <3
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    Thanks for coming back with a little more detail. Often people are scared to return.

    Can you get your doc to refer you to a registered dietician? Moving to a new city can be a bit overwhelming, have you looked on-line for any meet up opportunities to help you become more active with people that share your same interests?

    95lbs is still going to be light for you, but it's a start. There is a long list of long term health complications that can come along with being underweight. Including, but not limited to: brittle nails, losing hair, decreased bone density (makes them brittle and more easily broken), skin problems, general weakness and fatigue, difficulties concentrating, feeling cold all the time, and in more extreme cases, electrolyte imbalances that can cause cardiac complications and occasionally seizures. So please consider your health.

    If you are having trouble eating, focus on increasing calorie dense foods (such as avocados and nuts). If you normally eat any diet foods, switch those to the regular full fat/full sugar versions, that will help you get more calories without added volume.
  • J_Ley
    J_Ley Posts: 12 Member
    How would you feel about meeting with a dietician? They would make sure your weight gain was happening in a healthy way, and would most likely have knowledge about the surrounding issues that caused your weight loss. I hope you consider meeting with someone who has professional expertise on this topic, whether it's a dietician or therapist who has background in issues related to eating disorders, just to ensure that you are resolving this in the safest way possible and getting extra support (I wouldn't recommend trying to tackle this one alone).

    I'm glad for you that you are realizing that this might be a problem and that you are willing to take steps to address it, considering that your doctor didn't seem concerned. It might be time to find a new doctor.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    CALS0CCERBEAR87 wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    this post screams some kind of eating disorder...I would suggest getting help from a trained professional....

    my advice..

    eat in a calorie surplus of 250 calories
    get on a structured lifting program
    seek help from a professional

    uhhh...just because what she wrote "screams" ED (to someone such as yourself) doesn't mean it actually IS...so I would think twice before suggesting things as serious as professional help from out of thin air

    No. This warrants concern. Even Hannah herself said so.
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    CALS0CCERBEAR87 wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    this post screams some kind of eating disorder...I would suggest getting help from a trained professional....

    my advice..

    eat in a calorie surplus of 250 calories
    get on a structured lifting program
    seek help from a professional

    uhhh...just because what she wrote "screams" ED (to someone such as yourself) doesn't mean it actually IS...so I would think twice before suggesting things as serious as professional help from out of thin air

    No. This warrants concern. Even Hannah herself said so.

    Yes it warrants concern. And the op has recognised it and come here for help. She's been suffering from depression - an illness. I also joined mfp because I recognised I'd lost too much weight due to a chronic illness. It doesn't automatically follow that it's an eating disorder and in fact it was people's (including doctors )assumption that I had an eating disorder that delayed my diagnosis of IBD.
    Hannah there's some great advice above and I'm a newbie so won't add to it except to wish you luck. And I'd agree about seeing a dietician - it helped me a lot.
  • Nathanae
    Nathanae Posts: 29 Member
    edited October 2016
    Never listen to people who tell you to eat junk food*!
    Being skinny isn't a reason to abuse your body! There are good and healthy foods that will help you gain weight AND feel good and have nice skin!
    Just add seeds and nuts to your diet wherever you can, eat regular snacks, just have a tablespoon of peanutbutter or two before you leave the house or in the evening (the unsweetened kind would be better, because it usually doesn't contain palm oil either, but whatever you have in the house)
    ----> if you don't know what fruit to eat, eat a banana or mango instead of berries or an apple. eat pumpkin and cooked carrots instead of steamed broccoli, finish with a bit of cream (overall: full fat milk products) add loads of Avocado, seeds and Feta cheese and such to your salads, dress your food with lots of healthy oils (linseed, rapeseed, olive)... just leaf through a calorie list of common fruit and vegetables and mark the ones that are high in calories, so next time you choose your sides, you know what to go for.
    Avoid empty calories from white bread. yes, wholegrain will make you full for longer, but it also has more calories and will do your guts some good.
    Keep exercising, but put more focus on strength building rather than overly long cardio workouts (unless your goal is to run a marathon). The occasional glass of dry red wine will do your heart good, too! :)

    *...and DO enjoy the odd Pizza if you feel like it! (you can never be sure what people mean by junk food, so I wanted to make sure). Some takeaways are delicious and good and just beautiful in their own way and need to be eaten, regardless of the calories, like good Indian Curries which are definitely NOT junk, albeit very high in fat, usually, but also cancer fighting with all its tumeric)! :smiley:
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    You already know that you are severely underweight and you know you need to make changes. But don't listen to people telling you to stuff your face with crap to put on weight. That's not the best advice to give someone who may be malnourished. They are trying to be helpful and thinking of fast ways to pack on pounds. But you don't need to eat junk food. You can gain weight eating nutritious foods. I would suggest a visit with a dietician, and also make sure you check in with your doctor. Glad to see you're taking action to get healthier! Good luck! :)
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    CALS0CCERBEAR87 wrote: »
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    this post screams some kind of eating disorder...I would suggest getting help from a trained professional....

    my advice..

    eat in a calorie surplus of 250 calories
    get on a structured lifting program
    seek help from a professional

    uhhh...just because what she wrote "screams" ED (to someone such as yourself) doesn't mean it actually IS...so I would think twice before suggesting things as serious as professional help from out of thin air

    I completely disagree. At her weight, her health could be in danger. 5'3", 88 pounds. Professional help is a great idea. She needs to see her doctor. Whether it is an ED or not, medical intervention is probably warranted.
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Hannahrose888 wrote: »
    Thank you everybody for your responses.
    For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
    Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.

    Hi Hannah,

    I'm surprised your doctor did not mention any weight concerns. Do you realize that 88 pounds is 23 pounds below the lowest normal weight for your height, and 95 pounds is 16 pounds underweight? You can see for yourself here.

    I don't understand that chart - not arguing with you; just genuinely confused. I'm the same height as Hannah and according to the chart I'm underweight at 119 pounds.
    Isn't BMI a better indicator, though I'm not disputing Hannah is underweight
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Hannahrose888 wrote: »
    Thank you everybody for your responses.
    For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
    Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.

    Hi Hannah,

    I'm surprised your doctor did not mention any weight concerns. Do you realize that 88 pounds is 23 pounds below the lowest normal weight for your height, and 95 pounds is 16 pounds underweight? You can see for yourself <3

    I don't understand this chart - not arguing ,just genuinely baffled! I'm also 5'3 and weigh around 120 lbs. According to the chart I'm underweight but I don't think I am. I'm trying to gain weight because I look and feel better when I'm heavier. But I'm not "medically underweight "surely? Isn't BMI a better indicator? (Mine is around 22)
    I agree that 88 lbs is definitely underweight!
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
    edited October 2016
    Ok being underweight doesnt make her have an ED and people suggesting it are either jerks OR uneducated about eating disorders. 88lbs is small, yes. The smallest recommended "ideal" weight for 5'3" is 107lbs. She would be about 19lbs underweight. That's not that much, especially if she has a tiny frame and her curves (chest and booty) are modest. She may just be more active than she realizes, have a thyroid issues or active metabolism or just not get that hungry. Or maybe she eats really healthy so it ends up low calorie. You're really judging a lot to assume she's just underweight on purpose, especially when she is asking how to gain weight. People with EDs who want to be underweight don't ask for help gaining 10lbs because they feel unattractive! I'm over 200lbs and I have a form of bulimia so you can not diagnose an ED by someone's weight.

    NEXT: To the original poster@Hannahrose888 Things you can eat that are healthy and still good for calories - Avocados, Beans, Potatoes, banana Rice, Pasta, Sauces/Condiments, natural oils, etc. Avocados/Guacamole are pretty high in calories if you can manage to eat a whole one. If you added just one a day to what you normally eat to maintain your weight then you *should* in theory gain about 1/2 pound per week with just that. One baked potato (with butter would be good!) and one banana in a day would be about the same.
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    Verity1111 wrote: »
    Ok being underweight doesnt make her have an ED and people suggesting it are either jerks OR uneducated about eating disorders. 88lbs is small, yes. The smallest recommended "ideal" weight for 5'3" is 107lbs. She would be about 19lbs underweight. That's not that much, especially if she has a tiny frame and her curves (chest and booty) are modest. She may just be more active than she realizes, have a thyroid issues or active metabolism or just not get that hungry. Or maybe she eats really healthy so it ends up low calorie. You're really judging a lot to assume she's just underweight on purpose, especially when she is asking how to gain weight. People with EDs who want to be underweight don't ask for help gaining 10lbs because they feel unattractive! I'm over 200lbs and I have a form of bulimia so you can not diagnose an ED by someone's weight.

    NEXT: To the original poster@Hannahrose888 Things you can eat that are healthy and still good for calories - Avocados, Beans, Potatoes, banana Rice, Pasta, Sauces/Condiments, natural oils, etc. Avocados/Guacamole are pretty high in calories if you can manage to eat a whole one. If you added just one a day to what you normally eat to maintain your weight then you *should* in theory gain about 1/2 pound per week with just that. One baked potato (with butter would be good!) and one banana in a day would be about the same.

    Very well said!
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
    Also, height and weight
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Hannahrose888 wrote: »
    Thank you everybody for your responses.
    For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
    Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.

    Hi Hannah,

    I'm surprised your doctor did not mention any weight concerns. Do you realize that 88 pounds is 23 pounds below the lowest normal weight for your height, and 95 pounds is 16 pounds underweight? You can see for yourself <3

    I don't understand this chart - not arguing ,just genuinely baffled! I'm also 5'3 and weigh around 120 lbs. According to the chart I'm underweight but I don't think I am. I'm trying to gain weight because I look and feel better when I'm heavier. But I'm not "medically underweight "surely? Isn't BMI a better indicator? (Mine is around 22)
    I agree that 88 lbs is definitely underweight!

    Not put so badly yourself. Also, height and weight charts differ. You're not underweight according to this one here
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    Verity1111 wrote: »
    Also, height and weight
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Hannahrose888 wrote: »
    Thank you everybody for your responses.
    For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
    Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.

    Hi Hannah,

    I'm surprised your doctor did not mention any weight concerns. Do you realize that 88 pounds is 23 pounds below the lowest normal weight for your height, and 95 pounds is 16 pounds underweight? You can see for yourself <3

    I don't understand this chart - not arguing ,just genuinely baffled! I'm also 5'3 and weigh around 120 lbs. According to the chart I'm underweight but I don't think I am. I'm trying to gain weight because I look and feel better when I'm heavier. But I'm not "medically underweight "surely? Isn't BMI a better indicator? (Mine is around 22)
    I agree that 88 lbs is definitely underweight!

    Not put so badly yourself. Also, height and weight charts differ. You're not underweight according to this one here

    Thank you - that's what I thought :) Was thinking I'd have to stuff myself even more!
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited October 2016
    While being underweight does not always negate ED to me and in this case OP is recognizing and admitting that she has had additional stress and suffered temporary depression which can cause one to under eat (or over eat).. A person that would continue to make excuses, fail to listen to advice and even heed advice and continue on losing weight would tell me they have ED.. If the depression is still there, a person would still show signs even through their posts such as this. OP to me is taking responsibility and asking for help (people with ED do not ask for help or ask for the wrong types of help which assists them in continuing with their ED)..


    OP, what @pseulomon posted is great advice..

    Have you setup your account in MFP with your current stats and set it to gain x pounds a week? Use MFP app and your food scale if you are doing that right now to make sure you reach your calorie goal each day.

    As far as exercise, I probably would not advise that right now so that you can stay in surplus to gain the 10 pounds you are looking for in your first goals.. then perhaps in the second goal you can incorporate some exercise but know you need to eat back those calories. You have most likely lost a good amount of muscle mass and might can benefit from incorporating some weight training to help you in that area as well.
  • Hannahrose888
    Hannahrose888 Posts: 25 Member
    Btw I also realized that the source of my weight loss after speaking to my nutritionist is eating too healthy and being more active than I thought. It took me much too long to realize that I was taking in so little calories. Also after tracking my walking, I realized that I was burning more calories than I thought. Ugh I feel so stupid now.

Categories