Help. Too thin and overwhelmed
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Hannahrose888 wrote: »Thank you everybody for your responses.
For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.
Hi Hannah,
I'm surprised your doctor did not mention any weight concerns. Do you realize that 88 pounds is 23 pounds below the lowest normal weight for your height, and 95 pounds is 16 pounds underweight? You can see for yourself
I don't understand this chart - not arguing ,just genuinely baffled! I'm also 5'3 and weigh around 120 lbs. According to the chart I'm underweight but I don't think I am. I'm trying to gain weight because I look and feel better when I'm heavier. But I'm not "medically underweight "surely? Isn't BMI a better indicator? (Mine is around 22)
I agree that 88 lbs is definitely underweight!1 -
Ok being underweight doesnt make her have an ED and people suggesting it are either jerks OR uneducated about eating disorders. 88lbs is small, yes. The smallest recommended "ideal" weight for 5'3" is 107lbs. She would be about 19lbs underweight. That's not that much, especially if she has a tiny frame and her curves (chest and booty) are modest. She may just be more active than she realizes, have a thyroid issues or active metabolism or just not get that hungry. Or maybe she eats really healthy so it ends up low calorie. You're really judging a lot to assume she's just underweight on purpose, especially when she is asking how to gain weight. People with EDs who want to be underweight don't ask for help gaining 10lbs because they feel unattractive! I'm over 200lbs and I have a form of bulimia so you can not diagnose an ED by someone's weight.
NEXT: To the original poster@Hannahrose888 Things you can eat that are healthy and still good for calories - Avocados, Beans, Potatoes, banana Rice, Pasta, Sauces/Condiments, natural oils, etc. Avocados/Guacamole are pretty high in calories if you can manage to eat a whole one. If you added just one a day to what you normally eat to maintain your weight then you *should* in theory gain about 1/2 pound per week with just that. One baked potato (with butter would be good!) and one banana in a day would be about the same.3 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Ok being underweight doesnt make her have an ED and people suggesting it are either jerks OR uneducated about eating disorders. 88lbs is small, yes. The smallest recommended "ideal" weight for 5'3" is 107lbs. She would be about 19lbs underweight. That's not that much, especially if she has a tiny frame and her curves (chest and booty) are modest. She may just be more active than she realizes, have a thyroid issues or active metabolism or just not get that hungry. Or maybe she eats really healthy so it ends up low calorie. You're really judging a lot to assume she's just underweight on purpose, especially when she is asking how to gain weight. People with EDs who want to be underweight don't ask for help gaining 10lbs because they feel unattractive! I'm over 200lbs and I have a form of bulimia so you can not diagnose an ED by someone's weight.
NEXT: To the original poster@Hannahrose888 Things you can eat that are healthy and still good for calories - Avocados, Beans, Potatoes, banana Rice, Pasta, Sauces/Condiments, natural oils, etc. Avocados/Guacamole are pretty high in calories if you can manage to eat a whole one. If you added just one a day to what you normally eat to maintain your weight then you *should* in theory gain about 1/2 pound per week with just that. One baked potato (with butter would be good!) and one banana in a day would be about the same.
Very well said!2 -
Also, height and weightcomptonelizabeth wrote: »Hannahrose888 wrote: »Thank you everybody for your responses.
For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.
Hi Hannah,
I'm surprised your doctor did not mention any weight concerns. Do you realize that 88 pounds is 23 pounds below the lowest normal weight for your height, and 95 pounds is 16 pounds underweight? You can see for yourself
I don't understand this chart - not arguing ,just genuinely baffled! I'm also 5'3 and weigh around 120 lbs. According to the chart I'm underweight but I don't think I am. I'm trying to gain weight because I look and feel better when I'm heavier. But I'm not "medically underweight "surely? Isn't BMI a better indicator? (Mine is around 22)
I agree that 88 lbs is definitely underweight!
Not put so badly yourself. Also, height and weight charts differ. You're not underweight according to this one here0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Also, height and weightcomptonelizabeth wrote: »Hannahrose888 wrote: »Thank you everybody for your responses.
For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.
Hi Hannah,
I'm surprised your doctor did not mention any weight concerns. Do you realize that 88 pounds is 23 pounds below the lowest normal weight for your height, and 95 pounds is 16 pounds underweight? You can see for yourself
I don't understand this chart - not arguing ,just genuinely baffled! I'm also 5'3 and weigh around 120 lbs. According to the chart I'm underweight but I don't think I am. I'm trying to gain weight because I look and feel better when I'm heavier. But I'm not "medically underweight "surely? Isn't BMI a better indicator? (Mine is around 22)
I agree that 88 lbs is definitely underweight!
Not put so badly yourself. Also, height and weight charts differ. You're not underweight according to this one here
Thank you - that's what I thought
Was thinking I'd have to stuff myself even more! 0 -
Never listen to people who tell you to eat junk food*!
Being skinny isn't a reason to abuse your body! There are good and healthy foods that will help you gain weight AND feel good and have nice skin!
Just add seeds and nuts to your diet wherever you can, eat regular snacks, just have a tablespoon of peanutbutter or two before you leave the house or in the evening (the unsweetened kind would be better, because it usually doesn't contain palm oil either, but whatever you have in the house)
----> if you don't know what fruit to eat, eat a banana or mango instead of berries or an apple. eat pumpkin and cooked carrots instead of steamed broccoli, finish with a bit of cream (overall: full fat milk products) add loads of Avocado, seeds and Feta cheese and such to your salads, dress your food with lots of healthy oils (linseed, rapeseed, olive)... just leaf through a calorie list of common fruit and vegetables and mark the ones that are high in calories, so next time you choose your sides, you know what to go for.
Avoid empty calories from white bread. yes, wholegrain will make you full for longer, but it also has more calories and will do your guts some good.
Keep exercising, but put more focus on strength building rather than overly long cardio workouts (unless your goal is to run a marathon). The occasional glass of dry red wine will do your heart good, too!
*...and DO enjoy the odd Pizza if you feel like it! (you can never be sure what people mean by junk food, so I wanted to make sure). Some takeaways are delicious and good and just beautiful in their own way and need to be eaten, regardless of the calories, like good Indian Curries which are definitely NOT junk, albeit very high in fat, usually, but also cancer fighting with all its tumeric)!
Diets are about context and often by putting limiting factors on specific foods can make that situation worse. Reinforcing that foods are "junk" or "bad" when severely underweight or potentially unable to eat enough calories, is not helpful. And yes, adding fats is a great way to add calories, but within a subset of the populate, it has a high satiety factor. Incorporating "junk" foods, is a great way of increasing calories with low satiety. This enables a person to consistently gain.
Body composition, activity level and genetics are much higher drivers of health than a specific food. Yes a person should have a variety of foods that are nutrient dense, but when someone struggles with being severely underweight, struggling to get calories, reinforcing foods are either bad are good are not helpful.
OP, the below thread has a lot of good ideas on high calorie foods and drinks, and also dietary strategies to help you increase calories.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10326769/are-you-a-hard-gainer-please-read#latest5 -
While being underweight does not always negate ED to me and in this case OP is recognizing and admitting that she has had additional stress and suffered temporary depression which can cause one to under eat (or over eat).. A person that would continue to make excuses, fail to listen to advice and even heed advice and continue on losing weight would tell me they have ED.. If the depression is still there, a person would still show signs even through their posts such as this. OP to me is taking responsibility and asking for help (people with ED do not ask for help or ask for the wrong types of help which assists them in continuing with their ED)..
OP, what @pseulomon posted is great advice..
Have you setup your account in MFP with your current stats and set it to gain x pounds a week? Use MFP app and your food scale if you are doing that right now to make sure you reach your calorie goal each day.
As far as exercise, I probably would not advise that right now so that you can stay in surplus to gain the 10 pounds you are looking for in your first goals.. then perhaps in the second goal you can incorporate some exercise but know you need to eat back those calories. You have most likely lost a good amount of muscle mass and might can benefit from incorporating some weight training to help you in that area as well.3 -
Hi guys again, I recently went to go see a nutritionist. I also made appointments for follow ups. She helped me make a meal plan so that I can work on gaining weight. She said my ideal weight ranges from 99-115 pounds. (I have a small frame.) I am striving to gain .5 to 1 pound a week. My diet will now consist of healthy fats, whole grains, and proteins. I know everybody is concerned but I am not resisting changes to my diet. Unfortunately it just took me much too long to realize I have an eating disorder. I just feel bad that I was in denial for so long. I also feel bad that my weight got so low. However realizing you have a problem is the first step to improvement. I have also made an appointment to see a therapist. (Although I have been feeling happier recently). Thanks for the concern but please don't attack people. I posted on this form to get help and to start the process of improving my health. Please don't accuse and assume things without knowing the full story. However all the information thrown at me did really scare me. I kinda feel like "stuffing my face," because I now feel scared being this thin. I don't want to be thin anymore. But I know it's best to not "stuff my face" but to gain through eating more nutrients. Any upbeat advise? Or any delicious but healthy foods you recommend? It feels weird to eat yummy food again, however I am sort of looking forward to letting myself eat ice cream again. Anyway my nutritionist did recommend that I treat myself (just in moderation). Thanks again for the replies. 7
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Btw I also realized that the source of my weight loss after speaking to my nutritionist is eating too healthy and being more active than I thought. It took me much too long to realize that I was taking in so little calories. Also after tracking my walking, I realized that I was burning more calories than I thought. Ugh I feel so stupid now.2
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Hannahrose888 wrote: »Hi guys again, I recently went to go see a nutritionist. I also made appointments for follow ups. She helped me make a meal plan so that I can work on gaining weight. She said my ideal weight ranges from 99-115 pounds. (I have a small frame.) I am striving to gain .5 to 1 pound a week. My diet will now consist of healthy fats, whole grains, and proteins. I know everybody is concerned but I am not resisting changes to my diet. Unfortunately it just took me much too long to realize I have an eating disorder. I just feel bad that I was in denial for so long. I also feel bad that my weight got so low. However realizing you have a problem is the first step to improvement. I have also made an appointment to see a therapist. (Although I have been feeling happier recently). Thanks for the concern but please don't attack people. I posted on this form to get help and to start the process of improving my health. Please don't accuse and assume things without knowing the full story. However all the information thrown at me did really scare me. I kinda feel like "stuffing my face," because I now feel scared being this thin. I don't want to be thin anymore. But I know it's best to not "stuff my face" but to gain through eating more nutrients. Any upbeat advise? Or any delicious but healthy foods you recommend? It feels weird to eat yummy food again, however I am sort of looking forward to letting myself eat ice cream again. Anyway my nutritionist did recommend that I treat myself (just in moderation). Thanks again for the replies.
Glad you are getting help. Just remember, there are no unhealthy foods, just unhealthy diets. Incorporating foods you love is a must if you wan to sustain a healthy lifestyle. I am fairly lean (~16% body fat) and I incorporate all foods into my diet, even ice cream, cookies, muffins, and more. Never had any issues with my bloodwork.5 -
Invest in an ice cream making machine and have fun creating new combinations. You can do this!! Be good to yourself! Hugs4
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Hi Hannah! I am so glad you sought some help, you should be proud of yourself! Pinterest is a sanctuary for finding recipes that fit your goals - they have some pretty cool ice cream combos. More props to you if you already know how to cook; if not, it's an interesting but fun learning experience. You can ask your nutritionist about any cooking classes (local co-ops and restaurants/bakeries also provide them); it's a great way to learn how to prepare different meals and meet people at the same time.0
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comptonelizabeth wrote: »CALS0CCERBEAR87 wrote: »this post screams some kind of eating disorder...I would suggest getting help from a trained professional....
my advice..
eat in a calorie surplus of 250 calories
get on a structured lifting program
seek help from a professional
uhhh...just because what she wrote "screams" ED (to someone such as yourself) doesn't mean it actually IS...so I would think twice before suggesting things as serious as professional help from out of thin air
No. This warrants concern. Even Hannah herself said so.
Yes it warrants concern. And the op has recognised it and come here for help. She's been suffering from depression - an illness. I also joined mfp because I recognised I'd lost too much weight due to a chronic illness. It doesn't automatically follow that it's an eating disorder and in fact it was people's (including doctors )assumption that I had an eating disorder that delayed my diagnosis of IBD.
Hannah there's some great advice above and I'm a newbie so won't add to it except to wish you luck. And I'd agree about seeing a dietician - it helped me a lot.
Whatever the reason for a recent weight loss that leaves one too thin and not knowing how to correct it, including depression or, of course, unknown causes which could be medical in nature, would be a reason to see a trained professional. There's nothing negative about doing that or a stigma in seeking help, so I don't understand the "oh, no, this might not require such a drastic step!" posts (not so much yours, but the one from soccerbear). If it were medical, as certainly would have been possible without more information, that too would be a reason.
Anyway, I agree that seeing a dietitian is a good idea.2 -
comptonelizabeth wrote: »Hannahrose888 wrote: »Thank you everybody for your responses.
For those curious, after visiting my parents I have realized that I badly need to gain at least 5 pounds and need to adjust my eating habits. That is why I am seeking help. I am pretty sure that the source of my scary weight is depression after recently relocating to a new city away from family. The last few months I have felt too lonely and sad to eat, but I am starting to adjust and feel better. At first I liked the weight loss, I eventhought I looked better. However, I am now realizing that my weight has dropped too low. I am now afraid that I will/do have health issues. Right now I am setting my goal weight for 95 pounds (I want to take baby steps.) Any advice for gaining ten pounds safely? Also any long term diet advise? Thanks
Btw: I did have a check up last week. Oddly the doctor never mentioned any concerns about my weight.
Hi Hannah,
I'm surprised your doctor did not mention any weight concerns. Do you realize that 88 pounds is 23 pounds below the lowest normal weight for your height, and 95 pounds is 16 pounds underweight? You can see for yourself
I don't understand this chart - not arguing ,just genuinely baffled! I'm also 5'3 and weigh around 120 lbs. According to the chart I'm underweight but I don't think I am. I'm trying to gain weight because I look and feel better when I'm heavier. But I'm not "medically underweight "surely? Isn't BMI a better indicator? (Mine is around 22)
I agree that 88 lbs is definitely underweight!
You aren't. (I'm 5'3 and 125 and could definitely lose more weight. I think the scale for 5'3 goes down to 105 -- edit: just checked and I guess 108 is the bottom end.)2 -
OP it sounds like you've gotten some good advice here and are open to taking it. As others have said, working with a medical team to help you with both the physical and psychological aspects of your ED is very important and I'm glad you are seeking help.
I know you were put off by your family and friends suggesting you eat more "junk" food but I think they were probably concerned about your weight and thinking that calorie dense foods were probably a quick and tasty way to get you to put some pounds back on. I'm sure they were very well meaning with those suggestions, and it's important to remember that you can fit quite a few of those foods into an overall healthy diet.0 -
I know I'm late to the party here, but I wanted to chime in on a few things.
Hannah, it's GREAT that you reached out and got help. It sounds like you've got a solid plan that fits the way you like to eat and a good support system. Your target weight gain pace is appropriate, and I'm really glad to hear you're going on the right track. I really wish the reaction of your friends hadn't been "you're too skinny, stuff your face with junk food" and instead had been "you've lost a lot of weight, is everything ok?" Maybe it would have been easier to get help sooner. But I'm so glad that you did now.
A general note on eating disorders: I suspected an eating disorder when I first read this post because of feeling "overwhelmed" about how to eat more. Also, no one drops to such a low weight without some sort of health condition, whether it's physical or psychological, so professional help was very much an appropriate suggestion. There's still a common misconception that when talking about someone who's underweight, "eating disorder" is synonymous with anorexia nervosa, meaning intentional starvation. Images of waifs eating a single asparagus spear for the whole day pop into people's heads. That is not the only kind of eating disorder someone can have that would cause a drop to a very low weight. Hannah's follow-up post acknowledged she did have an eating disorder, and she mentioned several common behaviors that would be classified as EDNOS: having a restrictive list of foods, overexercising, and lack of appetite due to other psychological factors (depression and anxiety are most common). She wasn't necessarily trying to lose a bunch of weight, but her eating behaviors resulted in that.
To anyone out there who may be struggling with something similar: it is always, always, always a good idea to reach out for help when you feel something isn't right with your weight, eating patterns, or thoughts about your body. It's never an overreaction to look after your health. If you're concerned, don't be afraid or ashamed to talk to someone.
Hannah, good luck with your weight gain journey, and keep us posted on how it's going. If there's something else you think this community can help with, just ask
[link removed by mod]6 -
Good job Hannah, I'm glad you're getting the help you need. Working with a therapist will definitely help you. I would suggest Googling some recipes and cook food that interests you. Use full fat ingredients (whole milk, whole greek yogurt, butter, etc) instead of light ingredients and you'll see a difference.1
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I just want to say, chocolate_owl, that your reply is brilliant and you've said it so much better than the rest of us.:)0
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CALS0CCERBEAR87 wrote: »this post screams some kind of eating disorder...I would suggest getting help from a trained professional....
my advice..
eat in a calorie surplus of 250 calories
get on a structured lifting program
seek help from a professional
uhhh...just because what she wrote "screams" ED (to someone such as yourself) doesn't mean it actually IS...so I would think twice before suggesting things as serious as professional help from out of thin air
so you are saying that someone that is 5'3 and 88 pounds is at a regular weight and has zero cause for concern...really????1 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Ok being underweight doesnt make her have an ED and people suggesting it are either jerks OR uneducated about eating disorders. 88lbs is small, yes. The smallest recommended "ideal" weight for 5'3" is 107lbs. She would be about 19lbs underweight. That's not that much, especially if she has a tiny frame and her curves (chest and booty) are modest. She may just be more active than she realizes, have a thyroid issues or active metabolism or just not get that hungry. Or maybe she eats really healthy so it ends up low calorie. You're really judging a lot to assume she's just underweight on purpose, especially when she is asking how to gain weight. People with EDs who want to be underweight don't ask for help gaining 10lbs because they feel unattractive! I'm over 200lbs and I have a form of bulimia so you can not diagnose an ED by someone's weight.
NEXT: To the original poster@Hannahrose888 Things you can eat that are healthy and still good for calories - Avocados, Beans, Potatoes, banana Rice, Pasta, Sauces/Condiments, natural oils, etc. Avocados/Guacamole are pretty high in calories if you can manage to eat a whole one. If you added just one a day to what you normally eat to maintain your weight then you *should* in theory gain about 1/2 pound per week with just that. One baked potato (with butter would be good!) and one banana in a day would be about the same.
hmmm op is underweight, suffering depression (her own admission), and thinks she only needs to gain five pounds, but everyone suggesting she seek professional help is an uniformed jerk? Ok, keep telling yourself that. How is the view from up there?0
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