I feel so ashamed

starrrjo

I just feel awful.
The motivation that I would usually get was always minimal but now it's non-existent.
I really need help starting because in my head I keep saying 'I'll start tomorrow' and then I still eat like a greedy pig. Arghhhh I just want to scream. Losing weight is all I think about but I never do anything about it. I'm constantly looking at what kind of outfits I would wear if I wasn't so fat and I picture myself in a body I will never have but want so badly.

I make myself feel sick when i look in the mirror to the point where I wont look in one anymore.
I wish someone could help because I just can't seem to help myself.

usmcmp

How about focusing on some healthy habits you can start today? Pick a few habits like eating 3 servings of vegetables and getting in 30 minutes of activity daily. Give yourself a point for each goal you meet and after 30-50 points reward yourself with something like a new book. After a few weeks add in logging your food accurately. Now you are focusing on things you can control and as you perform those successfully the scale will move.

Also, you may want to consider changing your goal to maintain weight for a few weeks. It's going to give you more calories and ease you back into the mindset of eating within a goal. Then change your goal to lose half a pound per week. Baby steps.

cmriverside

Well, I can understand to a point.

But if you refuse to do it now, when will you suddenly find the motivation?

Food is a temporary pleasure. Trust me when I say that being fit and a healthy weight is far more satisfying than any food (which is gone in seconds.)

Shame and guilt are overrated. Plan a holiday with a bathing suit (like go to Spain or somewhere exotic!) Plan it for next summer and then set yourself a goal of weekly weight loss. That's what I did. I even paid for it eight months before I went. It worked.

Then start today. Right now. Log everything you eat and learn from your choices.

JeromeBarry1

First, hold yourself accountable. Log all your food accurately and honestly in your food diary. Later, study your food diary to learn what things seem to trigger binges. Find ways to diminish those triggers. Tell the truth to yourself first.

zorander6

Like usm said, start small. Instead of focusing on "what I want to wear/weigh" focus on something you can change today. Want that king size candy bar? Try a regular size. Want to sit and watch TV, go for a walk and play pokemon. Eat some vegetables and fruit. Do 5 jumping jacks or pull ups. Something small. The goal is to make new habits and be healthy.

If logging what you eat is interfering don't do it for a week and just focus on the small changes. Quit chastising yourself for "failing." This isn't school and there is no failing here. A bad day/week does not make you horrible or bad.

T0M_K

sounds like a bit of depression.? no one can help someone who can't help themselves. you could seek the help of your doctor...maybe.

that said, I really don't know how someone is supposed to help you start if you are not willing to take the first steps for yourself. Do people do everything for you? are you a princess? a little tough love here. you must start something on your own. there are tough days all the way through not just at the beginning. we aren't there to shove the fork away from your mouth.

you can do this. just do it. start something! record your food. do something...anything.

FabianMommy

I also agree, start small. If you plan too aggressively with calories, it's unsustainable. Try setting your goals to lose half a pound a week which requires a small daily deficit. It's totally doable and I've continued to lose weight slowly but sustainably. Weigh food, log accurately and aim for a small deficit, try it.

Trish1c

Be nicer to yourself. Start by logging. Just eat normally but log it all. Those numbers will astound you & should motive you to do better -- eat smaller portions -- going forward.

It's a marathon not a sprint.

dreawest

starrrjo wrote: »

Losing weight is all I think about but I never do anything about it.

This has been been for much of my life. I had periods of trying and then I would slip backwards. Its also worth noting that I was depressed and you may be as well.

The sad reality for me is that it wasn't until my weight actually started to hurt me (one minor injury led to a host of problems with back, ankles, knees due to my weight and inactivity) that reality sunk in and I realized I needed to do something before it was too late. I hope that you find your motivation sooner than that as I'm nearly 40lbs down and still hobbling on my sore knees.

The other thing I found was a desire for it too happen more quickly. A couple of weeks in and I was reading up on more extreme measures to try and get me there. I had to remind myself that this needs to be slow to be maintainable and that if I've never really tried the basic calories in, calories out I should probably start there for awhile. I've been able to let go of the need for this to happen more quickly. I know it will take a few years to get my weight down but I also know that the way I'm going I can actually get there.

Hope you find your motivation. Good luck

texasleahgirl

I lacked motivation until I bought a Fitbit. I have a competitive streak and I love competing with myself to do better today than yesterday. What always held me back was thinking I had to join a gym and set aside an hour and a half of my day for exercise and also severely restrict calories to see any results--it was just too overwhelming to start at all when I was looking at such a drastic change. So instead I started with the small goal of 7,000 steps, and once that became a daily habit, then I started worrying about making small sustainable changes to my diet. I logged my food for 3 weeks before I changed anything and the first change I made was to eat at a deficit on Monday thru Thursday only and to eat whatever on the weekends. Once I had lost a few pounds all of a sudden I had the motivation to walk 10,000 steps per day and the slow but steady weight loss kept going and then I was motivated to make a few more diet changes to the weekends and then a few months after that I average 12,000 plus per day and I have lost 20ish pounds. The progress itself gave birth to the motivation. If I would have waited for the motivation to happen first I probably would have never started. I have learned that for me, "weight loss" is a daily system NOT a goal. You change your system and the goal will be reached eventually.

PennWalker

usmcmp wrote: »

How about focusing on some healthy habits you can start today? Pick a few habits like eating 3 servings of vegetables and getting in 30 minutes of activity daily. Give yourself a point for each goal you meet and after 30-50 points reward yourself with something like a new book. After a few weeks add in logging your food accurately. Now you are focusing on things you can control and as you perform those successfully the scale will move.

Also, you may want to consider changing your goal to maintain weight for a few weeks. It's going to give you more calories and ease you back into the mindset of eating within a goal. Then change your goal to lose half a pound per week. Baby steps.

This is really good advice. Pick one thing or maybe two and make them part of your life -- walk for 30 minutes and add more vegetables are good starts. Do this for a while and congratulate yourself for making good habits. You can do this.

MissDeeDee78

Baby steps, this is a journey and not exactly a race. First step is reaching out to this "community" consider and perhaps do some of what people have posted. Don't want to walk for 30 mins, try 10 and increase it from there. Find an exercise/activity that you enjoy doing. We're all here to support and cheer you on but you ultimately have to do the leg work.

Thorbjornn

Starting any program is daunting because we want the results now, and it seems so far away with so much work to get there. We can't look a year down the road, just look at today. When I'm really good about it and take my own advice I say "just for today I'll go to the gym", "just for today I won't eat those cookies", just for today I'll [fill in the blank]". Rinse, repeat each day.

It's really hard to discipline yourself to do, but it has to be one day at a time to drop a bad habit and to do something positive. I did that when I quit smoking. Every day I said "OK, I won't smoke today". I repeated that every day until I had no desire to smoke. That will be 22 years ago come Jan. 1, 2017. It's hard, but sometimes that's how we have to do it... small steps.

LindaGilpin59

Just start something. Is there an exercise or activity you have enjoyed in the past? That would be a place to start.
Then decide to do it everyday - even for as little as 10-15 minutes. Deciding to do something everyday takes the excuses out. I have biked everyday since May 2nd. Some days it takes a little planning maybe getting up and riding in the morning if schedule or weather gets in the way. Also finding another person to be accountable with can be very helpful. Pick this person carefully someone who will encourage you in a positive way.

As far as eating goes while it is okay to start small as others have suggested I found that at least for the first several months some foods I avoided altogether and did not have them around. Now that I am 5 months in it is easier to have some things around now that I am already in the habit of eating healthier and can occasionally have a small treat or dessert and not totally go off track.

lemurcat12

starrrjo wrote: »

I keep saying 'I'll start tomorrow' and then I still eat like a greedy pig. Arghhhh I just want to scream. Losing weight is all I think about but I never do anything about it. I'm constantly looking at what kind of outfits I would wear if I wasn't so fat and I picture myself in a body I will never have but want so badly.

Often the problem is that it doesn't get more specific than "I'll just eat less." You need a structure, a plan, and -- most important -- a why, and a belief that it will matter, or else it's always easy to think that it makes no difference whether it's today or tomorrow, that that can go on forever (well, until you give up completely or die).

Logging, just logging can sometimes be enough. You do it, having to do it causes you to eat more mindfully, and you can look over the logs and see, wow, I'm wasting calories on things I don't even care about and cut them out painlessly.

Beyond logging, I'm a huge believer in structure as something that helps many of us. If I start a day just intending not to eat much (and not logging), that's not enough. If I have a plan to eat three good meals and a snack (or whatever you prefer) and have a decent idea of what I like for breakfast and can do for lunch and what a balanced dinner is, and can even (at least at first) plug those in in advance, and then fill out the calories with some extra foods that fit, that's a lot easier. If a cookie appears in the breakroom near my office and I think "hmm, I kind of want that," I can think to my plan and that I'm having a delicious lunch in just 30 minutes, no, I won't.

Also, just as important for me is knowing why. I know you want to be thinner and wear cute clothes (I had that motivation too), but it's too easy to think that one cookie won't matter in the scheme of things. If you have a plan and goals that are more concrete (no more than 1500 calories today, 100 g of protein today, so on), it's easier to focus on hitting those, and then if you have a lengthy plan you can think "if I stick with it I will likely be down X lbs in 6 months." Having those longterm goals (although they don't work for everyone and I don't ever hit them exactly) is helpful for me, as it helps me with the shortterm vs. long term pleasure thing -- if I remember that it will make a real difference in 6 months if I stick to plan, I'm more likely to do it, to see this as a real thing and not a vague hope, and I'm old enough that 6 months will fly by, I know.

tulips_and_tea

texasleahgirl wrote: »

I lacked motivation until I bought a Fitbit. I have a competitive streak and I love competing with myself to do better today than yesterday. What always held me back was thinking I had to join a gym and set aside an hour and a half of my day for exercise and also severely restrict calories to see any results--it was just too overwhelming to start at all when I was looking at such a drastic change. So instead I started with the small goal of 7,000 steps, and once that became a daily habit, then I started worrying about making small sustainable changes to my diet. I logged my food for 3 weeks before I changed anything and the first change I made was to eat at a deficit on Monday thru Thursday only and to eat whatever on the weekends. Once I had lost a few pounds all of a sudden I had the motivation to walk 10,000 steps per day and the slow but steady weight loss kept going and then I was motivated to make a few more diet changes to the weekends and then a few months after that I average 12,000 plus per day and I have lost 20ish pounds. The progress itself gave birth to the motivation. If I would have waited for the motivation to happen first I probably would have never started. I have learned that for me, "weight loss" is a daily system NOT a goal. You change your system and the goal will be reached eventually.

THIS! This is so true. And, even after succeeding motivation is fleeting, so don't rely on it or wait for it. Even those of us in maintenance or recomp don't rely on motivation, but rather habits.

As everyone else has said, start making small habit changes and get rid of the "I need motivation!" thinking. It's depleting your energy. Use that energy to get started on a healthy track.

weightforme8134

I felt this way too this time. I normally always have motivation but this time I forced myself. For the first week I just tracked. I didn't even really try I just wanted to see my habits. One day I ate 4k cals! Insane! This week I am cutting out calories in my drinks and trying to make better choices, next week I will try something else, etc. You can do this!

rsclause

Nothing magic about tomorrow, start now. Embrace this, its a lifestyle change. Its not punishment or a diet. This is all about reducing calories and portions to a proper level and when overweight a deficit is required to burn the excess. When you are dedicated to this and counting properly the scale will start moving. I wish I had started this decades ago.

kommodevaran

Don't look for something outside yourself to make you do what you need to do yourself. Stop looking for motivation - it's comes and goes, but usually goes. If you want to do it, do it.

I suggest having a more attainable and concrete goal than "bikini body" - focus on health and well-being too - how about some fitness goal? For instance, improve your personal record walking/running/swimming/biking a set distance?

I'm wondering why you would put off starting something you say you want to do. Could it be what you picture to be the only alternative to "eating like a greedy pig"? Are you viewing eating good food in appropriate amounts as some form of punishment? Aren't you already punishing yourself - calling yourself a "greedy pig", feeling awful, ashamed, don't want to look at yourself in the mirror, heck, being overweight and out of shape?

Jleigh225

starrrjo wrote: »

I just feel awful.
The motivation that I would usually get was always minimal but now it's non-existent.
I really need help starting because in my head I keep saying 'I'll start tomorrow' and then I still eat like a greedy pig. Arghhhh I just want to scream. Losing weight is all I think about but I never do anything about it. I'm constantly looking at what kind of outfits I would wear if I wasn't so fat and I picture myself in a body I will never have but want so badly.

I make myself feel sick when i look in the mirror to the point where I wont look in one anymore.
I wish someone could help because I just can't seem to help myself.

I gotta tell you that body shaming yourself and body shaming in general is counterproductive to your cause. If you're unhappy with where you are that's fine but you need to be able love yourself anyway and care about yourself. No calling yourself a greedy pig. You're a person and food tastes good so anyone could be where you are and millions of people are. Focus your attention on making small habit changes that celebrate living a healthy lifestyle and are not a punishment for overeating in the past. Change your attitude and motivation will follow.

snowflake954

So....you say you want to lose weight. Time to start. If you don't do anything, where do you think you'll be a year from now? You got it-- worse off. You need to use MFP as designed. Plug in your stats, get your calorie goal, buy a digital scale, weigh and measure all you eat and drink, and try to stay within your calories. Try your best to move more. Start with a 30 min walk once a day, and then slowly up that, or walk faster. Then try new things. Even dancing or zumba. I think you'll be surprised that all this is not as hard as you might think. It's important that you don't quit. We all have bad days, so plan for them and start anew the next day. Before you know it you'll see the changes and be so glad that you started. Be a success story--for yourself.