I feel so ashamed

starrrjo

JGilchrist23 wrote: »

When I read your original post, it was like you were inside my head 10 months ago. I felt EXACTLY the same. I thought about my weight and how I hated being overweight every single minute of the day but I never changed anything I was doing, I just could not get started. And then I read the quote "Imagine where you could be in a year if you had just started today" and I realised that I would never know if I never even attempted to try. That week, on the Sun, I made a meal plan, went to the supermarket and bought only those things and I stuck to my calorie goal for one week. And I lost my first 4 pounds. And then I tried another week, and another. 10 months later, I have lost 22 pounds - so slow and so many ups and downs but I look back at myself in Jan and am so, so glad that I just started. Because look where I am now. I know this might not be much help to motivate you, it's easy for everyone else to say, just to do it but think of the bigger picture. The next year will pass regardless, make it the year you start your journey.

Thank you. It helps me so much hearing other people's progress because I can say to myself that if they can do it then so can I.
22lb is such a massive achievement and I genuinely can't wait until I am that far in my journey. As long as I keep my head together and just do it!

courtneyfabulous

starrrjo wrote: »

Thank you so much everyone who has posted. I have read every single one and they are all so different and inspiring. I'm going to take baby steps, make small differences until it gets a bit easier and who says I need to go to the gym 5 times a week for 3 hours at a time...whats wrong with starting off once?
I feel so much more positive now and I really am going to give it a good go. Watch this space kids

Just FYI it's not even healthy for ANYONE to go to the gym for 3 hours 5 times a week. If you can't get what you need to do in the gym done in an hour or less you're doing too much.

For the average person 1 hour of weight lifting, 30-45 minutes of steady state cardio, or 20-30 minutes of high intensity cardio per day is plenty- and I mean 1 of these per day, not all 3!

You could even just do 3 days of exercise a week - start there. Heck, start with a 20 minute walk and skip the gym altogether until you're ready to do more- that's how I started.

Where did you get the idea that you ever have to be at the gym for longer than an hour? An hour and a half maybe if you do weight lifting and cardio on the same day might be ok but that's pushing it in my opinion. Too much exercise does more harm than good. You can only exercise so long for it to be beneficial, at a certain point it becomes overkill & harmful. No wonder you lose motivation.

You need to drop the all or nothing attitude. You're creating unnecessary stress by holding yourself to impossible standards. And why are you trying to be in this imaginary race with yourself and fight with your body?

How about just take it easy, do what you can when you can, and just try to do a little better each day. This is a journey towards better health, not a battle against yourself.

NnaliS

It was really hard to read your post but I chuckled a bit at the greedy pig part, because I know what it's like to eat like a greedy pig, lol. BUT, you need to break out of the self pity party it seems like you're having. It starts in your head, and believe me I know it's easier said than done. Start with small steps. Do what you can. You know yourself best. Listen/read/watch things that will motivate you to stay on the path. Figure out what works for you and stick with it.

Shake it off! One day at a time.

maq213

You can do it, I know it's hard, but it is possible, I think we are all in the same boat here, if we Burr Ridge encourage each other, we can make it to the end.
By little steps we can win the race.

HippySkoppy

Dear @starrrjo I'm sorry if this repeats what others have said but I haven't had a chance to read all the replies. Please be reassured that many of us have felt these negative and to be honest soul destoying attitudes about ourselves being in a place we hate weight wise and it's very difficult to not feel utterly defeated and overwhelmed.

Honestly, though this negativity may not the best way to move forward. A lot of what you describe is so all encompassing and at the same time nebulous it must be hard to figure a way forward and where to start to implement positive lasting changes.

I suggest you focus on simple doable steps that can immediately bring you positive change and give you back control over your life in this area.

For example:

* Commit to MFP. Read all you can here, look at the success stories, be inspired by the ordinary folk achieving amazing results. Recognize that if they can you too can achieve great things.

* Get digital kitchen scales, weigh in grams, using reputable data entries and use it for everything that passes your lips.

* Pick a sensible deficit and eat foods you enjoy, focus on nutrition and long term fullness and I suggest you incorporate foods that nourish your soul, I'm talking about having your favourite treats in moderation.

*Don't feel you have to hurry this is a long term project and burnout can happen if you try to do too much too quickly, remember the weight didn't appear overnight so it is going to take time for it to come off.

*If you feel the need choose a current food/drink habit that you wish to ditch and get started on making that happen. It maybe decreasing or eliminating drinking your calories and focusing increasing your on water intake.

*Commit to finding some form of exercise that gives you pleasure: don't be afraid to try many things or move on if you get bored. Please don't feel like you have to go all extreme and workout for hours everyday. Try strength training too, please....it is so important to help with retaining the muscle you have. Cardio is not the only way.

*Take progress photos, measurements and most would recommend regular weighing (but don't get too hung up on the scale it can be a minefield with fluctuations etc) maybe use any app. that gives you an overall trend to even out daily ups and downs.

These are all concrete, singular steps you can take, start doing them one by one, once you are comfy with the change go onto the next goal.

I think it's important to remind yourself you are doing something incredibly positive to help your health and longevity....many many others ignore the very same worries and self doubt that you have. You should be proud that you feel enough is enough and are gusty enough to put yourself on a public forum and say all the things you have and reach out for support and help.

You deserve a healthy, strong you and these are your first steps on the road. Well done for having that insight!!

PS: My above ideas are just some that quickly came to mind....there are plenty of tips/ideas that I have missed but I do hope it helps.

All the best.

JuneGem6471

I am in that same boat! Earlier this year I was gung ho and I was a fanatic! I lost weight and inches but more importantly I felt great both about myself and physically. Then somewhere along the line I crashed and burned. I gained 16 lbs back and am a junk food junkie. So now I am totally disgusted and my self esteem has plummeted. I restarted this week and have done rather well, and these few days have been the longest I have been able to stick with it. I just joined a challenge here for November so I am hoping that will help me stay accountable and motivated. If you think that will help let me know and I will tell you which one I'm in. I did one before and worked for me!

starrrjo

courtneyfabulous wrote: »

starrrjo wrote: »

Thank you so much everyone who has posted. I have read every single one and they are all so different and inspiring. I'm going to take baby steps, make small differences until it gets a bit easier and who says I need to go to the gym 5 times a week for 3 hours at a time...whats wrong with starting off once?
I feel so much more positive now and I really am going to give it a good go. Watch this space kids

Where did you get the idea that you ever have to be at the gym for longer than an hour?

And why are you trying to be in this imaginary race with yourself and fight with your body?

I was just exaggerating when I said 3 hours, I know this is completely ridiculous, I just mean how I always run in head first and think well if I don't do the absolute maximum all at once, then I shouldn't be doing anything at all which is obviously the wrong outlook.
I wouldn't say I was in a race, I think it is more of a battle with my brain. I used to find it so easy to hick start a change but it was like i was stuck in a rut. All of the advice is definitely what I needed.

starrrjo

NnaliS wrote: »

It was really hard to read your post but I chuckled a bit at the greedy pig part, because I know what it's like to eat like a greedy pig, lol. BUT, you need to break out of the self pity party it seems like you're having. It starts in your head, and believe me I know it's easier said than done. Start with small steps. Do what you can. You know yourself best. Listen/read/watch things that will motivate you to stay on the path. Figure out what works for you and stick with it.

Shake it off! One day at a time.

I would agree with pity party comment if I had written this 5 years ago when I first realised I had a problem. I would now describe it as a cry for help. Literally, I have gotten way beyond the pity party fase when it was getting to the point where I didn't know where to turn and was shaking with nerves just thinking about going out of the house.
This site is helping me far more than I ever expected and I am so grateful to every bit of advice I have received.

starrrjo

maq213 wrote: »

You can do it, I know it's hard, but it is possible, I think we are all in the same boat here, if we Burr Ridge encourage each other, we can make it to the end.
By little steps we can win the race.

I absolutely agree with this.

starrrjo

HippySkoppy wrote: »

Dear @starrrjo I'm sorry if this repeats what others have said but I haven't had a chance to read all the replies. Please be reassured that many of us have felt these negative and to be honest soul destoying attitudes about ourselves being in a place we hate weight wise and it's very difficult to not feel utterly defeated and overwhelmed.

Honestly, though this negativity may not the best way to move forward. A lot of what you describe is so all encompassing and at the same time nebulous it must be hard to figure a way forward and where to start to implement positive lasting changes.

I suggest you focus on simple doable steps that can immediately bring you positive change and give you back control over your life in this area.

For example:

* Commit to MFP. Read all you can here, look at the success stories, be inspired by the ordinary folk achieving amazing results. Recognize that if they can you too can achieve great things.

* Get digital kitchen scales, weigh in grams, using reputable data entries and use it for everything that passes your lips.

* Pick a sensible deficit and eat foods you enjoy, focus on nutrition and long term fullness and I suggest you incorporate foods that nourish your soul, I'm talking about having your favourite treats in moderation.

*Don't feel you have to hurry this is a long term project and burnout can happen if you try to do too much too quickly, remember the weight didn't appear overnight so it is going to take time for it to come off.

*If you feel the need choose a current food/drink habit that you wish to ditch and get started on making that happen. It maybe decreasing or eliminating drinking your calories and focusing increasing your on water intake.

*Commit to finding some form of exercise that gives you pleasure: don't be afraid to try many things or move on if you get bored. Please don't feel like you have to go all extreme and workout for hours everyday. Try strength training too, please....it is so important to help with retaining the muscle you have. Cardio is not the only way.

*Take progress photos, measurements and most would recommend regular weighing (but don't get too hung up on the scale it can be a minefield with fluctuations etc) maybe use any app. that gives you an overall trend to even out daily ups and downs.

These are all concrete, singular steps you can take, start doing them one by one, once you are comfy with the change go onto the next goal.

I think it's important to remind yourself you are doing something incredibly positive to help your health and longevity....many many others ignore the very same worries and self doubt that you have. You should be proud that you feel enough is enough and are gusty enough to put yourself on a public forum and say all the things you have and reach out for support and help.

You deserve a healthy, strong you and these are your first steps on the road. Well done for having that insight!!

PS: My above ideas are just some that quickly came to mind....there are plenty of tips/ideas that I have missed but I do hope it helps.

All the best.

Hello Hippy Skoppy,

This is all really helpful. When I initially wrote this post I didn't expect to get anything back, genuinely. But I am astounded by the amount of support I have received. My outlook is positive and I am finding things slightly easier by making the small changes.

cmriverside

I'm glad to hear you are going to start. You're going to rock that bikini in Spain next summer.

When I started, I also had that all-or-nothing-perfectionist thought process. Luckily the sane people on these boards talked me down.

It's just not possible (and not necessary) to do weight-loss perfectly. I had many skipped workouts, many sweet treats that put me over my goal, many times of feeling sorry for myself for the mess I got myself in.

I'll tell you, good nutrition fixes a lot of stuff. I had no clue because I had been eating such a nutritionally void life for so long. To put on the 70 pounds I needed to lose, you can bet there were a lot of pie and ice cream suppers.

@starrrjo you can do it. Log all your food today. Don't even worry about how much you are eating, just log it. That's how I started. Take a 20 minute walk if you can - maybe park further away, or get off the bus a couple stops early. Add some sliced cucumber or tomato to your meal. Little things add up and when I started getting the right types of foods, I not only lost 70 pounds, but I've kept it off for nine years, and I feel so much better.

And don't beat yourself up.

billglitch

starrrjo wrote: »

I just feel awful.
The motivation that I would usually get was always minimal but now it's non-existent.
I really need help starting because in my head I keep saying 'I'll start tomorrow' and then I still eat like a greedy pig. Arghhhh I just want to scream. Losing weight is all I think about but I never do anything about it. I'm constantly looking at what kind of outfits I would wear if I wasn't so fat and I picture myself in a body I will never have but want so badly.

I make myself feel sick when i look in the mirror to the point where I wont look in one anymore.
I wish someone could help because I just can't seem to help myself.

its hard because when most of us "diet" we are always hungry. I started low carb high fat in January, self imposed 1500 cals a day, have not been hungry or had cravings, had not done any exercise until this week and have lost 108 pounds. check out dietdoctor.com. you dont have to buy anything. there are other sites too and groups here. I lost over 5 pounds the first week.....thats motivating