When you're "not fat but not skinny"...what does that even mean
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I see it as a kindness. Most of these people don't know why they think I should stop losing weight. My comment opens their eyes to the truth. They think dragging others down is easier than setting and reaching goals that would eliminate the self loathing they feel. Some people respond better with the cold hard truth than a half hearted pep talk.VintageFeline wrote: »VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
Speak for yourself. I like to have an idea of what other people think of my figure. I find it interesting that so many people have told me that I need to stop losing weight. It's always people who have a much higher body fat % than I do. I just tell tem I'll stop losing weight when I stop being a disgusting fat body. That's pretty much like indirectly insulting them, since they have more fat than me. It leaves 'em speechless every time.
That's..........kind of hateful. But you do you boo.
If I'm wrong about how they truly view their body, it would have no affect on them emotionally.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
I'm with you. It doesn't really bother me that much when intended positively (whatever words are chosen) but it does seem socially inappropriate.
Skinny to me does seem like a negative word, but I know people who use it positively (oh, you are such a skinny minny said as a compliment).
The thing is. We don't always know why someone has gained/lost weight and mentioning it may bring up something that person is totally not ready/doesn't want to talk about with me or whoever is commenting. obviously if it's my best friend and I know she's trying to lose I might mention it but otherwise. Nope. None of my beeswax.2 -
I mostly agree with you, but I don't go around talking about my weight or goals, so if someone brings it up they should expect me to reply with my opinion. My opinion happens to be that I'm a disgusting fat body. If nothing else it will teach them to keep comments they find sensitive to themselves.VintageFeline wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
I'm with you. It doesn't really bother me that much when intended positively (whatever words are chosen) but it does seem socially inappropriate.
Skinny to me does seem like a negative word, but I know people who use it positively (oh, you are such a skinny minny said as a compliment).
The thing is. We don't always know why someone has gained/lost weight and mentioning it may bring up something that person is totally not ready/doesn't want to talk about with me or whoever is commenting. obviously if it's my best friend and I know she's trying to lose I might mention it but otherwise. Nope. None of my beeswax.
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Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.2 -
oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I was gonna chime in but then almost changed my mind until I saw your post.
My husband, girlfriends, and some of my family call me "skinny" but it's meant in a complimentary way. You can tell by the way they say it.
One girlfriend that I see only once in a while will say "you skinny b---ch!" she means it as a compliment.
I was thinking its generational since we're all in our 50s and 60s and older, but apparently not.
Now, if someone says to me "you're TOO skinny", I know it's not meant as a compliment.
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frankiesgirlie wrote: »oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I was gonna chime in but then almost changed my mind until I saw your post.
My husband, girlfriends, and some of my family call me "skinny" but it's meant in a complimentary way. You can tell by the way they say it.
One girlfriend that I see only once in a while will say "you skinny b---ch!" she means it as a compliment.
I was thinking its generational since we're all in our 50s and 60s and older, but apparently not.
Now, if someone says to me "you're TOO skinny", I know it's not meant as a compliment.
Yes. That's how it is here too. Perhaps it's a regional thing? I'm from the Midwest USA0 -
oliverneedsyou wrote: »frankiesgirlie wrote: »oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I was gonna chime in but then almost changed my mind until I saw your post.
My husband, girlfriends, and some of my family call me "skinny" but it's meant in a complimentary way. You can tell by the way they say it.
One girlfriend that I see only once in a while will say "you skinny b---ch!" she means it as a compliment.
I was thinking its generational since we're all in our 50s and 60s and older, but apparently not.
Now, if someone says to me "you're TOO skinny", I know it's not meant as a compliment.
Yes. That's how it is here too. Perhaps it's a regional thing? I'm from the Midwest USA
It's tone of voice and who is saying it here in the UK. Can be complimentary, can be thinly veiled insult.3 -
VintageFeline wrote: »oliverneedsyou wrote: »frankiesgirlie wrote: »oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I was gonna chime in but then almost changed my mind until I saw your post.
My husband, girlfriends, and some of my family call me "skinny" but it's meant in a complimentary way. You can tell by the way they say it.
One girlfriend that I see only once in a while will say "you skinny b---ch!" she means it as a compliment.
I was thinking its generational since we're all in our 50s and 60s and older, but apparently not.
Now, if someone says to me "you're TOO skinny", I know it's not meant as a compliment.
Yes. That's how it is here too. Perhaps it's a regional thing? I'm from the Midwest USA
It's tone of voice and who is saying it here in the UK. Can be complimentary, can be thinly veiled insult.
Great point!0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »IDK why but when I hear "skinny" I automatically think of someone being underweight with little to no muscle mass..
I would think that if I heard it about a man, but I think of ultra lean women as skinny. Like I would call most popular female fitness instructors skinny even though they have their little muscle bulges.
Maybe it's generational...if I called my wife or her trainer or any of my other fitness lady friends "skinny", it would likely be the last word out of my mouth. IDK...athletic fitness bodies and 6 pack abs just doesn't seem to fit with "skinny"...
Thankfully! Athletic body is a compliment. Skinny is not what I aspire to. I would like to be strong and in the midrange of "normal BMI".0 -
I want to be strong skinny.... I actually find it a huge compliment when people call me skinny. You can be muscular and strong while also being skinny. I'm a rock climber and aspire to be a strong, skinny athlete. If you look at the large majority of professional rock climbers they fit into this category. To each their own.2
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I want to be strong skinny.... I actually find it a huge compliment when people call me skinny. You can be muscular and strong while also being skinny.I'm a rock climber and aspire to be a strong, skinny athlete. If you look at the large majority of professional rock climbers they fit into this category. To each their own.
Wow. Rock climbing is impressive. I can see how extra weight would be detrimental. Also sports that rely on speed need trimmer physiques than those that depend upon power.
Of course everyone has their own personal set of aesthetics and goals.1 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I would take it to mean not skinny as in not skin and bones or ultra lean, but also not carrying too much extra fat either. Likely in the healthy BMI range and probably also in the healthy BF% range, though probably in the upper 20's rather than lower 20's or < 20%. (for women)
my body fat is 18...and i am a woman
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VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
This! As someone who in the past ( high school) was incredibly insecure...99% of my insecurity came from comments i didn't even ask for...and i've never been "fat", I have always been on the very low end of normal for BMI, but kids are cruel lol
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I want to be strong skinny.... I actually find it a huge compliment when people call me skinny. You can be muscular and strong while also being skinny.I'm a rock climber and aspire to be a strong, skinny athlete. If you look at the large majority of professional rock climbers they fit into this category. To each their own.
Wow. Rock climbing is impressive. I can see how extra weight would be detrimental. Also sports that rely on speed need trimmer physiques than those that depend upon power.
Of course everyone has their own personal set of aesthetics and goals.
Extra weight is more detrimental to runners lol...if we still want to have knees after finishing a marathon we better be BMI of <20 preferably <19
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I get a lot of "You're too skinny" or "You need to eat" or disapproving looks at my plate when I serve myself because they're usually small portions... but little do they know I eat 6 times a day! So yes, those are not compliments! When someone calls me a "Skinny Minnie" or a "Skinny B*tch" or says "You're so tiny!" w/ a smile on their face, yes, those ARE compliments and I'll gladly take them!
Also those people who "insult" me are not around me when I DO decide to indulge and I out-eat everyone at the table, cuz I can grub, so for them to judge me when they don't know the whole story is ridiculous and makes me very angry!
I just wish people would mind their own business... I'm nowhere near anorexic and since they don't pay my bills they have no business telling me how I should live my life, or in this case, how much I should weigh/eat!1 -
Blondieeee26 wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I would take it to mean not skinny as in not skin and bones or ultra lean, but also not carrying too much extra fat either. Likely in the healthy BMI range and probably also in the healthy BF% range, though probably in the upper 20's rather than lower 20's or < 20%. (for women)
my body fat is 18...and i am a woman
How do you measure you BF%?0 -
oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I disagree. You see posts on here all the time from people complaining because no one has commented on their weight loss. I think most (not all) people like to here compliments about weight loss. Though I doubt many like to hear about weight gain.1 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »oliverneedsyou wrote: »Interesting. I'm 25 and have only ever associated the word skinny as a positive term. I guess we all have different experiences.
That said I agree that unless you either know the person is trying to lose weight and/or you are EXTREMELY close to them it is inappropriate to comment on weight loss or gain.
I disagree. You see posts on here all the time from people complaining because no one has commented on their weight loss. I think most (not all) people like to here compliments about weight loss. Though I doubt many like to hear about weight gain.
This made me laugh. I have a sister who years ago I hadn't seen for a long time because we just don't get along. When we ran into each other at a store, she looked at me and said, "you've sure gained a lot of weight since I saw you last." Needless to say, the relationship didn't improve one bit.1 -
VintageFeline wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »Not far but not skinny means normal weight. Skinny is usually used as a derogatory term for those who are underweight
I don't know why people can't just say "you look slim" or "you look thin" (or even just "you look great") though. The "not this but not that" approach seems almost passive aggressive.
I don't know why people can't just STFU commenting at all on someone's weight, good or bad or indifferent. Compliment my skirt or something but say nothing about my body. Ever. Not their business.
All of this! Especially when pregnant. No, I am not about to pop... I am not an effing balloon. Just STFU and MYOB.1
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