Weightloss and Co-Workers
kksmom1789
Posts: 281 Member
I work in an office at our local city hall lately it's been extremely slow so i'm not as active moving around the office as normal I stopped walking over the summer due to the extreme heat and I have a heart condition. I have a co worker that is notorious for bringing "treats" everyday and always handing me candy and when i politely decline she says oh hush put it in your drawer for later and I usually eat it later I gained 20lbs from Jan 2015 to Oct 2015 that I know was from her treats (she started Dec 2014). I lost 25lbs though from Oct 2015 to Oct 2016 but another example is today I ate a really healthy lunch I was super proud of my calorie intake today she came back from lunch and she had to run errands on her lunch and she asked if I wanted to share a pizza I politely declined again well the pizza came and she forced a piece on me and then because i'm addicted to food I ate another piece and she only ate 1 piece and was super full. I just don't know how to deal with the constant struggle at work with "treats" I don't want to rude just want to lose this 50lbs
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Replies
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Take her aside at a time when she is not offering you food and tell her that you appreciate her thoughtfulness, but you would rather she not bring you food from now on. If that doesn't work then when she brings you stuff tell her that it will likely end up in the trash rather than eaten. If that doesn't work start putting the foods in the trash as she is standing there.27
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It's not rude saying "No thank you" to someone. If you can't say that take the treats and give them away to other coworkers that may want them, different department or family/friends or simply throw them in an outside trash where she can't see them:). You have to stand up for your health at some point. Perhaps even take her out and talk to her honestly as to how you need her help.
One thing I will say that may sound rude and I don't mean to:
You chose to eat the candy/pizza which is fine as long as you stay in a deficit.
This is something I've learned here in the last few months that I have to take ownership of what goes in my mouth and I have the power to control it. Just by telling myself this over and over has been super freeing. Food no longer has any meaning (comfort/good/bad/control) other than being fuel. Some taste better but won't last in terms of hunger, some lasts till the next meal.
Just plan for these foods if you can't say no by eating a big salad before having one slice of pizza:).
I know easier said then done sometimes but you can do it!6 -
I only have a second here, but as far as lunch goes (this happens to me a lot too) I just nicely/firmly say no. After I refused a couple times the in incidents lessened.
And as for treats being pushed on me, maybe it sounds wrong, but if I don't want to seem rude or ungrateful I accept it and then discreetly toss it in the trash.3 -
It seems it it someone's birthday in my office at least once a week...so that means cake.
It's not easy, but I politely decline. I know if I start eating stuff like that then it will continue throughout the rest of my day.
I would tell her... thank you but no thank you...don't give in.5 -
Thank you guys myself and another co worker who is also trying to shed some weight have told her how we are trying to lose weight. I have thrown away food before or brought the candy to my kids to eat on good days were I wasn't as tempted. I have started walking back and forth in my office to try to get some movement in. today was like strike 100 I swear I can't give in anymore. the sad thing is she is extremely motherly and she thinks eating the food is no big deal she is fit and maybe weighs 100lbs she's 55 years old and says shes been eating like this her whole life.1
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AS someone who hates to throw away food, just tell her how serious you are about taking care of your health. If that doesnt work, and she's not considering your feelings, just put the pizza in the fridge with a note that says, "up for grabs!" Or if there there happens to be homeless people nearby, give the food to them.2
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You said you had already eaten lunch right? So its not rude to just say "oh I just ate lunch I'm way too full for pizza right now, but thank you". If later comes and she pushes it again you can say "well I'm not hungry yet but I'll take some home today, it sure smells good". Or whatever. Then if you want to, take some home and either have it for dinner or feed it to your kids or spouse.. that's what I would do anyway
Sometimes people are just being nice offering food, other times people feel guilty for eating things so they try to get you to join in with them.. some people are just food pushers and get enjoyment out of feeding others.
Oh and the candy thing, my mom does that to me all the time and its not even candy I like. I just take it and say thank you, throw it in my purse and take it home and give it to my kid or throw it away. I'm not wasting calories on candy I don't even like!7 -
Take her aside at a time when she is not offering you food and tell her that you appreciate her thoughtfulness, but you would rather she not bring you food from now on. If that doesn't work then when she brings you stuff tell her that it will likely end up in the trash rather than eaten. If that doesn't work start putting the foods in the trash as she is standing there.
Holy Hell internet how is there not a gif of Pam throwing the Tiramisu Jim gives her into garbage? How!?8 -
kksmom1789 wrote: »Thank you guys myself and another co worker who is also trying to shed some weight have told her how we are trying to lose weight. I have thrown away food before or brought the candy to my kids to eat on good days were I wasn't as tempted. I have started walking back and forth in my office to try to get some movement in. today was like strike 100 I swear I can't give in anymore. the sad thing is she is extremely motherly and she thinks eating the food is no big deal she is fit and maybe weighs 100lbs she's 55 years old and says shes been eating like this her whole life.
The thing is that she obviously has a high metabolism or a very active lifestyle or doesn't eat much at home or something.. the other is she is already thin and is maintaining, while you are trying to lose weight so need to be in a caloric deficit. Maintenance calories are a lot higher than caloric deficit for weight loss calories, so she CAN eat those things and stay thin BECAUSE she has no weight to lose.
It isn't fair but it's just the way it is and if she can't understand that at least you do, and do what you have to do to stay within your daily calorie goal.
Either be strong and deny the candy & pizza, or eat an ultra low calorie dinner to make up for it if you do indulge so you don't go over your calories.0 -
Like even if you and she had the same maintenance calories, if you are trying to lose a pound per week you have to consume 500 calories less per day. That's about the same calories as in a piece of pizza and some candy.
Also it sounds like she might be trying to sabotage you rather than being nice...1 -
If she forces the food on you despite your protests leave it in the communal kitchen for someone to voluntarily take it or tell her that if she leaves the food with you it will go to waste as you well be putting it in the rubbish.1
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Thank you again! my co worker and I have also said sometimes it does feel like she is trying to sabotage this whole weight loss thing i'm trying to do. this just happened a minute ago she ordered that frozen cookie dough from a fundraiser for another co worker in another department and she gave me half of the cookie dough and was like I know how much you like cookie dough I did take it and said my kids would love the cookies tonight during our family movie. she is really active a 4 time black belt and teaches a karate school with her husband 2x a week2
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Just say no thanks.... it really is that simple6
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Say no as many times as you need to every time.
Say you are not hungry because you already had a good lunch.
Say you plan your food carefully and it doesn't fit your plan for the day to have these things.
Explain your plan and health condition and ask for her support if you like.
You can stop being polite when someone forces you to take something you don't want. They are being rude not nice or motherly. You can throw it in the trash right in front of their face and say "I politely said no and you need to respect that the first time."
Remember, no one can make you eat something. If you eat it that is your choice.7 -
Don't blame the coworkers, you are putting the food on your mouth. If you really don't wsnt.to ear it politely and frimly say no thanks and move on
Best of luck9 -
kksmom1789 wrote: »I work in an office at our local city hall lately it's been extremely slow so i'm not as active moving around the office as normal I stopped walking over the summer due to the extreme heat and I have a heart condition. I have a co worker that is notorious for bringing "treats" everyday and always handing me candy and when i politely decline she says oh hush put it in your drawer for later and I usually eat it later I gained 20lbs from Jan 2015 to Oct 2015 that I know was from her treats (she started Dec 2014). I lost 25lbs though from Oct 2015 to Oct 2016 but another example is today I ate a really healthy lunch I was super proud of my calorie intake today she came back from lunch and she had to run errands on her lunch and she asked if I wanted to share a pizza I politely declined again well the pizza came and she forced a piece on me and then because i'm addicted to food I ate another piece and she only ate 1 piece and was super full. I just don't know how to deal with the constant struggle at work with "treats" I don't want to rude just want to lose this 50lbs
Man, do I sympathize with you. I was constantly looking for another job in my last place because of the food everywhere. People would leave chocolate and other candy on my desk every holiday -- I went to the emergency room twice because of migraines from the chocolate, which I couldn't stop myself from eating.
Try this: "No thanks, I have a medical condition" and stop there (don't go into a big explanation). Look away or break eye contact and pick up some work to do. If you have to mention your doctor, then do it.
I've found I've stopped the food pushers with that sentence better than just saying no or anything else.
OOPS, sorry, I didn't see your other posts. It's great that you talked to her.
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I believe in food addiction, I really do, but she's a co-worker, not a husband or family member. She has no major influence in your life or personal connection. Say NO. Hurt feelings if need be, but try not to. If it's impossible to avoid, oh well. You need to put yourself first. To me it sounds like she's doing it on purpose? like in a mean way lol Im sorry but w.e. thats how I feel. A mean girls type of thing going on. Lol. But anyway!!!! You can say no. Toss it in the trash. Keep a garbage can next to you if need be.0
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Some people are just trying to be nice and don't realize that they're causing you a problem until you tell them. If you tell them and they continue then they're either clueless or, more likely, trying to sabotage you for reasons of their own. I tell people "No, thank you. I can't eat that." Let them think there's a medical reason for it if they want. I make sure I have snacks I can eat that I've logged so I don't get hungry at work.0
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Your weight loss or gain is your responsibility, not your co-worker's. You are responsible for what you do and do not eat. Unless she shoved food into your mouth, you made the decision to eat. You can say no. If she pushes, push back.6
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kksmom1789 wrote: »Thank you again! my co worker and I have also said sometimes it does feel like she is trying to sabotage this whole weight loss thing i'm trying to do. this just happened a minute ago she ordered that frozen cookie dough from a fundraiser for another co worker in another department and she gave me half of the cookie dough and was like I know how much you like cookie dough I did take it and said my kids would love the cookies tonight during our family movie. she is really active a 4 time black belt and teaches a karate school with her husband 2x a week
Why did you say yes to the cookie dough?! You're only encouraging her and you know if you make cookies for your kids you're going to have a couple yourself- better leave room for those calories!
Maybe you're her weight loss strategy.. she can have the things she likes like pizza & cookies but only in limited portions, then hands off the extra to you. She's thin because she gives her extra calories to you5 -
It is not rude for you to refuse something that you don't want and/or doesn't fit your dietary goals. It IS rude (frightfully so) for someone to continue to push it on you after you have politely declined. Stop worrying about being rude. You aren't the one being rude in this scenario. Just say no thanks, and continue saying no thanks until she gets the message.3
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kksmom1789 wrote: »I work in an office at our local city hall lately it's been extremely slow so i'm not as active moving around the office as normal I stopped walking over the summer due to the extreme heat and I have a heart condition. I have a co worker that is notorious for bringing "treats" everyday and always handing me candy and when i politely decline she says oh hush put it in your drawer for later and I usually eat it later I gained 20lbs from Jan 2015 to Oct 2015 that I know was from her treats (she started Dec 2014). I lost 25lbs though from Oct 2015 to Oct 2016 but another example is today I ate a really healthy lunch I was super proud of my calorie intake today she came back from lunch and she had to run errands on her lunch and she asked if I wanted to share a pizza I politely declined again well the pizza came and she forced a piece on me and then because i'm addicted to food I ate another piece and she only ate 1 piece and was super full. I just don't know how to deal with the constant struggle at work with "treats" I don't want to rude just want to lose this 50lbs
No one is forcing you to eat it. Take some self responsibility and just don't eat it.8 -
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If I found myself in your situation, OP, I would first try to make the hopefully well-intentioned coworker an ally by explaining to her *exactly* why I was unable to accept her food gifts. I'm not big on lying, especially in situations like this where the truth rings truer.
Then if subsequent incidents occurred, I would immediately say, "No thank you" before I could even consider (and drool over) whatever she was offering next.
Then based on the continuing circumstances (because if it *does* continue, I would definitely start to question her intent) I would have no issue escalating my polite responses all the way up to the point of "What part of 'No, thank you' are you having a difficult time understanding?"
You should never permit (or blame) anyone else for what you choose to consume.3 -
There are always chocolates and biscuits and cakes etc that people bring in at my workplace.
I've been countering and having my own alternate snacks so when it's, 'go on have a piece of cake', I can say, 'oh no thanks, I have fresh blueberries and almonds instead'.2 -
AS someone who hates to throw away food, just tell her how serious you are about taking care of your health. If that doesnt work, and she's not considering your feelings, just put the pizza in the fridge with a note that says, "up for grabs!" Or if there there happens to be homeless people nearby, give the food to them.
I did this a while back. I was having lunch at McAlister's Deli and they brought me a big piece of cheesecake that I didn't order and was not going to eat. I didn't want to waste it though so I got a to go container and took it with the intention of giving it away. When I pulled out, there was a guy on the corner with a sign saying he was looking for work so I gave him gave him the cheesecake and wished him luck.5 -
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kksmom1789 wrote: »Thank you again! my co worker and I have also said sometimes it does feel like she is trying to sabotage this whole weight loss thing i'm trying to do. this just happened a minute ago she ordered that frozen cookie dough from a fundraiser for another co worker in another department and she gave me half of the cookie dough and was like I know how much you like cookie dough I did take it and said my kids would love the cookies tonight during our family movie. she is really active a 4 time black belt and teaches a karate school with her husband 2x a week
I'm curious if you had some of the cookies...0 -
Several of my neighbors often get together and we would drink wine and just munch. We were doing this about 1x a month. I finally said..I can't come I can't eat.. they reply was well only have a little. I stopped going as I know I can't have a little and if I do just have a little I'll come home and have a lot. So for me its just say no thank you I am dieting, and sadly probably for the rest of my life. Meaning I am eating healthy now and trying to live longer.2
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Several of my neighbors often get together and we would drink wine and just munch. We were doing this about 1x a month. I finally said..I can't come I can't eat.. they reply was well only have a little. I stopped going as I know I can't have a little and if I do just have a little I'll come home and have a lot. So for me its just say no thank you I am dieting, and sadly probably for the rest of my life. Meaning I am eating healthy now and trying to live longer.
I hope moderation is a skill you will be able to utilize at some point, because food is everywhere and feeling like you have no option other than to cut yourself off from social situations for the rest of your life is so very sad.
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