Boyfriends standards of weight?

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  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,949 Member
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    WinoGelato wrote: »
    I think it's sweet that people are still trying to help OP but since she hasn't been back in weeks, I think she either:

    Decided to stay with her boyfriend and ignore all this great advice

    Wasn't genuine to begin with

    Alternative scenario which is depressing to consider so let's just assume it's option one or two....

    Those aren't the only possibilities. There are some pretty terrible ones.
  • Flapjack_Mollases
    Flapjack_Mollases Posts: 218 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    The dude is watching too much porn.

    That's funny. And also probably very accurate. The pronz has psychologically screwed up a lot of people.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    The dude is watching too much porn.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

    Probably. It's obvious the actresses eat only one or two things....
  • jennimacias
    jennimacias Posts: 18 Member
    edited December 2016
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    You solve this issue by leaving the jerk!
  • Flapjack_Mollases
    Flapjack_Mollases Posts: 218 Member
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    [/quote]

    Probably. It's obvious the actresses eat only one or two things....[/quote]

    Neither of which makes you gain weight...lol

  • Leaz947
    Leaz947 Posts: 69 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    The dude is watching too much porn.

    Probably made her take a cashier's job part time to pay the cable bill too.

    I'm laughing so hard at this hahaha.
  • Leaz947
    Leaz947 Posts: 69 Member
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    vegmebuff wrote: »
    vikinglander wrote: »
    This is the thread that never ends...


    That's because it's SO important! and prevalent in our world! The message needs to be hammered in...I hope this thread keep going!!!

    Are you annoyed that people still need to voice their comments (and experiences) with abuse???

    As the OP I'm the opposite of annoyed, I'm very grateful about everything and you guys are the reason that I'm still torn about my decision....
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    Leaz947 wrote: »
    vegmebuff wrote: »
    vikinglander wrote: »
    This is the thread that never ends...


    That's because it's SO important! and prevalent in our world! The message needs to be hammered in...I hope this thread keep going!!!

    Are you annoyed that people still need to voice their comments (and experiences) with abuse???

    As the OP I'm the opposite of annoyed, I'm very grateful about everything and you guys are the reason that I'm still torn about my decision....

    Are you serious?

    I can't believe that you are blaming your decision to stay with an abusive person on a bunch of internet people who are saying the truth about the cycle of abuse.

    Here's the deal. Unless he's gotten some serious therapy and figured out what is wrong with him and is working toward fixing that, he has not changed one single bit. He's lured you back, is keeping you in a honeymoon phase, but the abuse will start again.

    I wish you the best of luck and, please, stay safe.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    VeryKatie wrote: »
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    I think it's sweet that people are still trying to help OP but since she hasn't been back in weeks, I think she either:

    Decided to stay with her boyfriend and ignore all this great advice

    Wasn't genuine to begin with

    Alternative scenario which is depressing to consider so let's just assume it's option one or two....

    Those aren't the only possibilities. There are some pretty terrible ones.

    That was my "alternative scenario too depressing to consider so let's hope for option 1 or 2"

    Sadly it sounds like she went with Option 1...
  • ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken
    ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken Posts: 1,530 Member
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    Leaz947 wrote: »
    vegmebuff wrote: »
    vikinglander wrote: »
    This is the thread that never ends...


    That's because it's SO important! and prevalent in our world! The message needs to be hammered in...I hope this thread keep going!!!

    Are you annoyed that people still need to voice their comments (and experiences) with abuse???

    As the OP I'm the opposite of annoyed, I'm very grateful about everything and you guys are the reason that I'm still torn about my decision....


    Good to hear. That means you are giving some thought as to what you "should" do as opposed to what you want to do. It seems a lot of people here speak from experience. Most of us had these experiences when we were young and also unwilling to take this same advice from others at that young age. We look back and wish we had known then what we know now. That's the most unfair aspect of life. We don't get to gain life's wisdom until we eff up a lot, or watch others as they make mistakes. I hope you will find a way to look at this with your mind and not your heart. It's so easy to let our emotions take us into places we should avoid. Just know if it is love and closeness you seek this guy is not the last and only guy. There are many others who would give the love and respect you deserve. If you find yourself seeking chaos and problematic relations because it feels comfortable or because you don't feel that you deserve better, I suggest looking to yourself and asking why. There is a reason for everything. Don't let yourself become comfortable in the fire, or else you will surely burn.
  • Flapjack_Mollases
    Flapjack_Mollases Posts: 218 Member
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    If you choose to stay with a person that is abusive, you are stuck with death being your best option. Otherwise, you are subjugating yourself to a lifetime filled with abuse. You are not going to change his way of thinking. He's not just going to magically wake up one day, and start to feel bad about what he is doing. He will continue to abuse you until you either leave him, or he kills you.
  • jessiferrrb
    jessiferrrb Posts: 1,758 Member
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    i really wanted a happy ending here. the one where the she tells prince not-so-*kitten*-charming to get lost and rides off into the sunset under rainbows of self-worth.
  • ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken
    ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken Posts: 1,530 Member
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    Flapjack_Mollases wrote: »
    jessiferrrb wrote: »
    i really wanted a happy ending here. the one where the she tells prince not-so-*kitten*-charming to get lost and rides off into the sunset under rainbows of self-worth.

    Having a daughter, one of the best things I can do for her is show her her self worth, and also show her (as her father) the way a man should be expected to treat her. Hopefully, by the time she is ready to start dating, she won't settle for anything less than the love and respect that I've shown her.

    My neighbor has a daughter who is 7 years old. He talks to her like you wouldn't believe. telling her to shut the eff up, tie your effing shoes, etc... barking and snarling at her always. He says, "You gotta talk to the girls like that." I don't want to know how comfortable that child will become with verbal abuse. As a father the way you treat your daughter will be a major factor in what they will think they deserve. You could not be more right about that.
  • Petsgirl
    Petsgirl Posts: 3 Member
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    Run and don't look back, he sound's like a real loser!!!!
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,949 Member
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    WinoGelato wrote: »
    VeryKatie wrote: »
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    I think it's sweet that people are still trying to help OP but since she hasn't been back in weeks, I think she either:

    Decided to stay with her boyfriend and ignore all this great advice

    Wasn't genuine to begin with

    Alternative scenario which is depressing to consider so let's just assume it's option one or two....

    Those aren't the only possibilities. There are some pretty terrible ones.

    That was my "alternative scenario too depressing to consider so let's hope for option 1 or 2"

    Sadly it sounds like she went with Option 1...

    Oh yes. Sorry I mis-read and ended up saying the same thing as you.
  • momasox
    momasox Posts: 158 Member
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    I am sorry he is doing this to you. I know it's tough as I have been there. But you deserve better and need to tell him to beat it. This is not love it's controlling and abusive. I really hope you can leave him. You deserve it!
  • MrsOwlBear
    MrsOwlBear Posts: 14 Member
    edited December 2016
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    Flapjack_Mollases wrote: »
    If you choose to stay with a person that is abusive, you are stuck with death being your best option. Otherwise, you are subjugating yourself to a lifetime filled with abuse. You are not going to change his way of thinking. He's not just going to magically wake up one day, and start to feel bad about what he is doing. He will continue to abuse you until you either leave him, or he kills you.

    Seriously, could we just back up a moment here. Although I'm still not convinced of the veracity of this thread, according to the story, she's been with him for years and he's yet to lay a hand on her or threaten her with violence. I'm not reviewing all 16 pages of this pulp to verify this but I've been following the thread from the beginning and I'm pretty sure this is the case.

    Sheesh.

    I know, I know. It's politically correct to forecast catastrophe when a man shows some controlling characteristics in his relationship with a woman. But for Heaven's sake. People are innocent until proven guilty too. At least where I come from.

    And most importantly - We've only heard ONE side of this story so far. One. I wonder what boyfriend would have to say about her and the dynamics of their relationship if he was fairly given his say on this thread. We won't find out though. This is strictly a one sided story.

    Abuse doesn't always grow from verbal into physical, of this I will agree.

    However; even if this isn't entirely true in the narrative; it is her truth and that's where the issue is. If this is how she is perceiving her relationship with this dude; it's not healthy. It may very well not be as bad as all that, but that is her truth, yeah? Either way; it's a dead end.

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