how do I separate my diet from my husbands?
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My husband and I eat differently.
He eats breakfast, I don't.
He eats sandwiches for lunch, I don't.
He likes peanuts as snacks, I don't.
He makes his own breakfast, lunch, and snacks ... and I make mine. We do the grocery shopping together and he buys his food, and I buy mine.
As for dinner, he makes that for the both of us. Sometimes it is identical, sometimes mine is slightly different.
There are no rules that say you have to eat the same thing as another family member.2 -
shirleydegrave wrote: »I love my husband, but he is Mr. fastfood, carbs, meat & potatoes, fried,...everything that puts on weight..I know I need to eat much different, but how?
We essentially eat the same dinners but I have less starchy carbs and more green veggies. He's on his own for breakfast and lunch. I have trained him that if he wants high calorie food like pizza to plan in advance so I can work it into my calorie budget. He gets the "I have only X amount of calories to spend per day" model.1 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »Eat less of it. Problem solved.
Actually, I think that may cause a big problem, not solve it. A lot of people are suggesting that the OP eat the same food as her husband (fast food, fried, etc) but just have smaller portions. In theory, yes, of course that would work. But in practice, because those foods are so calorie dense, she would probably have to eat a very small portion to stay within her calories for the day. I'm guessing she would probably not feel satisfied eating half a hamburger, one slice of pizza, etc. I know I wouldn't and would probably end up overeating. OP, I would encourage you to eat more satisfying foods that you can eat a hearty portion of, even if it is different from what you husband wants to eat. Lean grilled meats and veggies can fill you up without the calorie bomb.
Well, in practice I plan meals and prelog and still eat what my family eats mostly. I weigh my food. I hit my protein goal. I look up nutritional info for restaurants.
I have meat, potatoes, bread, pasta, oatmeal, casseroles, sandwiches, fish, eggs, fruits, vegetables, nuts, yogurt, cheese, etc.
I don't fry everything. I bake or grill things. I may pair a hamburger with a salad, 2 slices of pizza with a salad, skip the rice sometimes and just have more vegetables with my stir fry. I put more vegetables on my plate. I may cook with less oil or use milk instead of cream. I put less cheese on my taco. I use a vinaigrette dressing and use less. I drink water or unsweetened tea.
I eat a smaller breakfast and more calories later in the day. I don't eat dessert every day.
You can eat the same foods as your family or do minor alterations.
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SuzySunshine99 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »Eat less of it. Problem solved.
Actually, I think that may cause a big problem, not solve it. A lot of people are suggesting that the OP eat the same food as her husband (fast food, fried, etc) but just have smaller portions. In theory, yes, of course that would work. But in practice, because those foods are so calorie dense, she would probably have to eat a very small portion to stay within her calories for the day. I'm guessing she would probably not feel satisfied eating half a hamburger, one slice of pizza, etc. I know I wouldn't and would probably end up overeating. OP, I would encourage you to eat more satisfying foods that you can eat a hearty portion of, even if it is different from what you husband wants to eat. Lean grilled meats and veggies can fill you up without the calorie bomb.
Ya, when I do have pizza I also have a big salad so I will be full on less pizza and overall calories. Pizza isn't especially satiating to me - without the salad, I can eat a LOT of pizza.
When I have a burger, I skip the fries and have broccoli.2 -
I buy the groceries and cook the meals taking everyone's likes and dislikes into consideration, I just get the healthiest and lowest calorie version possible. From there its a matter of preparation, portion size, and planning. Hubby knows I log, count calories, and portion out my meals. He won't (even though he's been told to lose weight). He gets bigger portions, no fruits and veggies, I get smaller portions with the fruits and veggies. He also does his own version of intermittent fasting. I eat meals and snacks as needed. So do our kids. My daughter is also on MFP so she pretty much does what I do. At least I hope so.0
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Well, I have a 5 person family. Two of my kids are nonverbal and one is for sure autistic. The other is almost 6 and she is the oldest. My boyfriend is the only one who eats meat. The other 4 of us are vegetarian. So...we all eat different foods. Literally, often we all eat something different and no two people eat the same thing. So that's how...you just eat different and if it's too tempting then you leave the room or ask him to do so.1
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SuzySunshine99 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »Eat less of it. Problem solved.
Actually, I think that may cause a big problem, not solve it. A lot of people are suggesting that the OP eat the same food as her husband (fast food, fried, etc) but just have smaller portions. In theory, yes, of course that would work. But in practice, because those foods are so calorie dense, she would probably have to eat a very small portion to stay within her calories for the day. I'm guessing she would probably not feel satisfied eating half a hamburger, one slice of pizza, etc. I know I wouldn't and would probably end up overeating. OP, I would encourage you to eat more satisfying foods that you can eat a hearty portion of, even if it is different from what you husband wants to eat. Lean grilled meats and veggies can fill you up without the calorie bomb.
It's not a problem if you don't make it one. I eat the same foods as my hubby who is skinny and trying to bulk. It's really as simple as eating less and watching your calories as well as filling a meal out with less calorific options. I sometimes have fries with my burger or I might have broccoli. It's that simple. CICO.4 -
Eat smaller portions. Watch your calorie intake.
I mean yeah, but, that would be miserable.
My husband and I eat differently, we just do. He has to fend for himself some of the time because I ain't making two meals every time. Sometimes there is a component in common which helps. It is what it is though, you just have to plan and be ready to spend a little extra time you are responsible for putting food in front of him.1 -
Too many calories makes you put on weight. You can eat anything and lose weight as long as you eat appropriate portions.
A nutritious diet will make it easier to not eat too much, because you will feel more full.
Are you unsure what constitutes a healthy diet, or asking how to structure meals for two people with different goals? Please clarify.2 -
A while ago I compared mine and my husband's BMR (basal metabolic rate or how many calories you need to keep you alive in a coma), his is ~800cals more a day than me, basically an extra dinner a day!
I hate to feel like I'm missing out when eating with him in the evenings so I have a couple of strategies that I use;
-eat a smaller but satisfying breakfast (I tried quite few different things but now I have those 100cal bread thins with a carefully weighed 20g of peanut butter & a babybel cheese as I found this enough to get me to lunch)
-have a 2 egg salad lunch (2 boiled eggs, salad veg & splash of balsamic vinegar) & yoghurt on weekdays at work
-2 pieces of fruit as daytime snacks
-normal evening meals like home made curries, stews and casseroles padded out with various vegetables (squash, carrots onions, peppers, spinach etc.) but try to stick to ~50g carb servings for myself (no more than one of 250g potatoes, 60g rice before cooking or 75g pasta before cooking) and give my husband a portion more appropriate to his calorie needs.
My hubby takes couple of massive sandwiches to work and has more fruit than me, and soup so hits his calorie requirements easily. Perhaps your husband could get his fast food fix at lunchtime or another meal that you wouldn't normally eat together?
On the whole we tend to cook things at home most nights, occasionally we eat out or have takeaway but no more than once a week. I think home cooking makes it easier to pad out your normal food with low cal ingredients. Veg for stews can be bought frozen and ready chopped making it literally no effort to add.
Good luck finding out what works for you. If you want to PM me I can suggest some easy recipes for you.2 -
I don't think this will help except as sympathy, but I do sympathize with you, OP. It was incredibly hard for me to really get and stay on the wagon until my husband stopped bringing home his giant greasy lunch leftovers and heating them up with delicious smells every night, followed by eating Doritos straight out of the bag while lying on the couch and topped off with a candy bar or big bowl of ice cream (sometimes, both).
It was very, very, very hard to see and smell all that going on and stay on track.
I know, I know...it's up to you what you put into your mouth, etc., etc. Yeah, I get that and then again...I get restricting, already feeling that loss doing that, then on top of that, having someone eat whatever, whenever directly in front of your face, every single day.
I don't know what the answer is for you. I do know before my husband officially started dieting I put my foot down and asked him to keep his extras in some other place in the house and not literally lie on the couch for two full hours every single night balancing a giant buffet on his stomach enjoying himself and crunching noisily in front of me. Come on, I don't care how mature one is, that's cruel and is a diet-buster. I was literally spending my life in my bedroom reading so I didn't have to see, hear and smell it for hours every night. So at that point he started munching at the very least in the kitchen and sometimes in the garage and then later on he got sick of his own weight and got on the wagon with me (I didn't ask him to)...he has now lost 100 llbs.2 -
When I decided to lose weight for ME not my husband/family/friends not an event i.e. anniversary, holiday, vacation etc, I started not caring what anyone else ate.
I can't explain it but it clicked into place in my mind. I was no longer resentful of what others ate. Along with that I began to realize from the very smart folks here on mfp that I didn't have to demonize food nor cut out the things I like to eat. So I eat what I what, when I want just not AS MUCH as I used to. I maybe add a big salad with a slice or 2 of pizza. Fast food sure but I made small changes cut out the Dr. Pepper got small french fries etc.
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I do all the cooking at my house, so if hubby doesn't eat what I cook then he has to figure it out on his own. Thankfully, I'm a pretty good cook and he's lazy so that works for us.3
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SuzySunshine99 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »Eat less of it. Problem solved.
Actually, I think that may cause a big problem, not solve it. A lot of people are suggesting that the OP eat the same food as her husband (fast food, fried, etc) but just have smaller portions. In theory, yes, of course that would work. But in practice, because those foods are so calorie dense, she would probably have to eat a very small portion to stay within her calories for the day. I'm guessing she would probably not feel satisfied eating half a hamburger, one slice of pizza, etc. I know I wouldn't and would probably end up overeating. OP, I would encourage you to eat more satisfying foods that you can eat a hearty portion of, even if it is different from what you husband wants to eat. Lean grilled meats and veggies can fill you up without the calorie bomb.
There is no reason to eat half a hamburger or 1 slice of pizza... A whole hamburger with smart toppings, and thin crust pizzas, both with massive side salads allow us to eat more.2 -
Similar to others, I basically eat the same as the family (and I am the cook) but make slight variations to mine to make them healthier. For example, if we are having spaghetti, I will make a spaghetti squash for my noodles, while everyone else gets regular. If we are having tacos, I will make mine into a taco salad. For higher calorie foods (ie cassaroles) I take a smaller portion but then bulk it up with a side salad or steamed or roasted veggies.1
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MelanieCN77 wrote: »
Why is it miserable?
It works for my family to basically eat the same foods just different amounts. I put more vegetables on my plate. They have more rice. Not cooking 3 seperate meals for 3 people. It is very sustainable not miserable at all dieting for me to reduce portion sizes and watch my calorie intake.
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cerise_noir wrote: »SuzySunshine99 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »Eat less of it. Problem solved.
Actually, I think that may cause a big problem, not solve it. A lot of people are suggesting that the OP eat the same food as her husband (fast food, fried, etc) but just have smaller portions. In theory, yes, of course that would work. But in practice, because those foods are so calorie dense, she would probably have to eat a very small portion to stay within her calories for the day. I'm guessing she would probably not feel satisfied eating half a hamburger, one slice of pizza, etc. I know I wouldn't and would probably end up overeating. OP, I would encourage you to eat more satisfying foods that you can eat a hearty portion of, even if it is different from what you husband wants to eat. Lean grilled meats and veggies can fill you up without the calorie bomb.
There is no reason to eat half a hamburger or 1 slice of pizza... A whole hamburger with smart toppings, and thin crust pizzas, both with massive side salads allow us to eat more.
I guess it just depends on your calorie goal...not knowing the OPs goals, I was just using myself as an example. I am a very short female, so MFPs calorie goal for me was 1200. It is of course not impossible, but in my opinion, more difficult to be satisfied on that if you are eating small portions of calorie-dense foods. But, everyone is different, and if you have a higher calorie allotment, it certainly is much more do-able.2 -
You're going to get a lot of advice, most of it differing. I would start by asking yourself what do you like to eat. And then go from there. If it's fast food, meat & potatoes, etc, same as your husband, think about how you can make some lower-calorie choices maybe. If you prefer other types of food, that's a different question and you'll need to figure out how to do that, either by making separate meals or by trying to integrate those other options onto the table.
Are your goals just to lose weight? Or do you want to opt for more in the way of fruits and vegetables?
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It's pretty simple actually. If he doesn't want what you fix him, and he's incapable of fixing his own, then you'll need to fix 2 meals. Your personal goals are worth the extra effort. I fix my wife different meals all the time (she gets tired of chicken/turkey/fish/low fat meats). She also can cook but if I'm already cooking for myself I see no problems making hers along side mine. She also doesn't have an issue fixing me something different along side her meals.2
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shirleydegrave wrote: »I love my husband, but he is Mr. fastfood, carbs, meat & potatoes, fried,...everything that puts on weight..I know I need to eat much different, but how?
If you don't want fast food, don't get fast food. Just fix yourself whatever you want when he gets it. If you want less carbs prepare meals that offer carb options for him (side of potatoes, rice, pasta, etc.) and just skip that option for yourself or only take a small portion.0
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