Why is everyone on this site so mean?

Forest777 · July 2013

One friend is getting PM'ed about being fat for his tater tots while my other friend is being told he is too unhealthy in his own thread

I thought we were here to support each other

This sounds harsh, but if you get criticized, it's kind of your fault. It is the internet.

If you leave your diary open for all of MFP to see, then be prepared for criticism. Same for your blog. If you post your woes on the forum, get ready to hear some things that might hurt. If you can't take it, then close your diary, blog and don't post personal troubles on the forum.

Same for friends. If you don't want your friends to critique your diary or blog, then don't leave it open for them. More importantly, cultivate a group of friends that work for you, what you need from the site. And delete friends that don't work for you (and also don't take it personally if you get deleted).

What's with this blame the victim mentality

Not blaming the victim at all! I am just being realistic.

The friend must have his diary open at some level to get criticized for eating tater tots. Ok, if you don't like being critiqued on what you eat, then limit who can see your diary. And the other example about getting criticized in his own thread....I assume that stemmed from something he wrote? Anyway, my point is that if you open yourself up on the internet, you have to have a thick skin. I'm not saying this is right, but it's reality.

One of the great things about MFP is that you can use the support features at the level you are comfortable. You don't need to use them at all, it still works

But you need to know yourself and know what you can handle and set your boundaries as to what you share accordingly.

_HeartsOnFire_ · July 2013

Do we need to call the waaaaambulance? Would you like some cries with your waaaaahmburger? (Yeah I'm sure my jokes are out of date...I don't care...)

Seriously??? Tell your buddies to suck it up and quit whining. If they hear something that's uncomfortable to hear, it's most likely something they NEED to hear. This site isn't supposed to be all "rah-rah, you're awesome" when someone eats like crap and doesn't exercise. Well, maybe some people are like that but they are part of the problem. If your friends want to make progress, tell them to listen to people that get on them for eating tater tots and being unhealthy. Those people are the solution; the enablers are the problem.

Exactly!!! We are all here because of ourselves and our enablers. My best friend doesn't sugar coat *kitten* and while sometimes this can be upsetting, you know what, I usually end up thanking her down the line because it's what I needed to hear. If I go on a forum asking for advice on my food diary, and I have all sorts of bad things listed, then if I get called unhealthy it's because I am being unhealthy. You can't eat crap and expect to lose weight. People sometimes need wake up calls, it's not being mean, it's called truth and honesty, and maybe that comes across as being mean sometimes, but isn't that why everyone is here? To get support and to have accountability?!?! If they can't take responsibilities for their unhealthy actions then why are they here? They need to accept themselves for where they are, learn that most here aren't being mean, they are being honest. We aren't here to coddle anyone. If they want someone to coddle them, they should go find their mommies.

Also, generalizing with everyone is so mean, I bet you have some friends that aren't mean. I'm not a mean person. I will be honest and hold my MFP friends accountable, because that's what they want/need. We all need people who will kick us in the a** or smack us in the face as needed.

blah2989 · July 2013

There are critical people everywhere. Someone is always going to think they are doing it better than someone else. But the proof is in the pudding. As long as you are succeeding in your own goals, your weight is looking good and the tests your dr does come back within the correct range, I wouldnt stress.

Trueray · July 2013

silver_arrow3 · July 2013

Anyone with the name SirBonerFart is trolling LOL

Holy pectorals, Batman!

minivegrunner · July 2013

LauraMacNCheese · July 2013

Fixed it for ya :flowerforyou:

jimmmer · July 2013

It's really just a tool that helps you lose (or gain) weight.

Don't sweat it. On here, like elsewhere in life, there are good people and arseholes. Gotta take the rough with the smooth.

ShellyAnn46 · July 2013

Mean could be seen as truthfulness...my friends do say/question my diary choices at times. I am here for several reasons, accountability, physical strength improvement & weight loss. I expect them to mention - really did you need to have that "whatever the bad choice was" - maybe you should of had this instead or eating alot of "whatever" is there a healthier version you could try. It makes me check out other healthy/creative options for myself. There support is helpful and I am sure your friends were feeling the same with you, healthier helping.

whierd · July 2013

Because sugar is poison.

sheenarama · July 2013

I've never been called mean before now

wolverine66 · July 2013

She'll make you take her to the club, but then she leaves with her friends
She likes to stay late at the party, 'cause the fun never ends
And all her clothes are on the floor and all your records are scratched
She's like a one-way ticket 'cause you can't come back!

Saying yeah... you want her, but she's so mean
You’ll never let her go. Why don’t you let her go?
Yeah... you want her, but she's so mean
You’ll never let her go. Why don’t you let her go?