My husband is losing weight faster than me - I feel like giving up :(

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  • ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken
    ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken Posts: 1,530 Member
    As long as he isn't rubbing it in your face I wouldn't worry. But if he is being smug about it I would have a serious talk with him.
  • chocolate_owl
    chocolate_owl Posts: 1,695 Member
    Go look for the many threads about people who have split up because one person lost weight while the other one didn't, and you'll see common themes - jealousy, resentment, insecurity. Letting yourself feel like you're somehow failing because he's progressing faster is where those issues can start to breed. Don't let them. Communicate with him. Be inspired by him. Support him, and ask him to do the same for you. And remember that every bit of progress you make, you're bettering your own health so you can have a longer life with him. That's not something worth giving up on.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    Be happy that you have someone to lose weight with
    Be happy he is doing well
    Keep on going and you will lose yours too
    Good luck
  • SLLeask
    SLLeask Posts: 489 Member
    Aw, don't give up, you're married, you're a team, be happy for him. His success is your success. I'd be sad if my spouse wasn't happy for me! Oh yeah, and do remember like others have said, men do tend to lose faster than woman, you'll both get there in the end!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    If you can have the same amount of testosterone and gH in your system as him, you'll lose just as fast. Unfortunately this means you'd have to "gear up" to achieve that. Your voice would get deeper, you'll get facial hair, and even your jawline will change.
    Or you can accept that you're female and understand that you're hormonally different than he is.
    You continue. Don't compare. Don't be jealous. Don't get mad. It will happen if you stay consistent.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • Erotyka
    Erotyka Posts: 82 Member
    Even if your plans were absolutely identical and you did everything the same... it depends on a few factors.

    I'm not sure what your starting weight and his starting weight were, but keep in mind that those who are higher in BMI tend to lose weight a little faster at first. I was sometimes losing 6 pounds a week at the start - now I don't lose as much per week.

    Remember also that people who have a uterus/get periods will retain a hell of a lot of water. My weight stops moving for a fortnight even though I've been thoroughly committed to my diet. The first time I noticed it, it was really upsetting for me - I had been working so hard! But now I just work twice as hard so I can see what ridiculous amount of water weight I can drop at the end!

    The fact that your husband is doing well is rad, and if you're sticking to your plan, you are doing well too. You are not defeated. I think when we're losing weight, we forget the little victories because we don't notice them... if you stick to your plan, your body will change every day - not necessarily the number on the scale, but over time, our bodyfat% changes, our size changes, etc.

    This isn't a sprint - it's a marathon. It's about seeing it all the way through.

    What I do to keep my spirits up... little goals often. Every 10 pounds, I celebrate what I've done so far - and I mix it up by celebrating getting under a full stone, pounds lost in brackets of 10, moving BMI category etc. It means I feel like I'm celebrating every week (because one of the systems will be in my favour somewhere!) so I can distract myself a little from what is otherwise a very drawn-out process.

    Hugs to you - and keep going! :smiley:
  • gillie80
    gillie80 Posts: 214 Member
    the point of these forums is to offer advice and support. support comes in many forms, such as offering a similar situation to show the OP is not alone. plus she didnt waffle, it was 2 or 3 sentences.

    OP, men always lose faster than women, it sucks, but it's the truth. if you are still losing, great. if you've stalled, check your intake, and use the flow chart posted a little earlier. weight loss isn't linear, you've got to take into account so many factors. you got this. relax, give your hubby a high five, and look towards tomorrow. x
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    There is a thread on the first page of the General Weigh Loss forum that has links to men vs women weight loss articles. Check it out!
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    edited November 2016
    Why are you, a woman, comparing your losses to your husband, a man? Your husband has a higher TDEE than you do. Is he eating at least 1600 calories? Be proud of YOUR losses and be happy for HIM. You and your husband are two very different people, with different stats and different deficits. I highly doubt your husband started at the same weight and is the exact same height and has the eact same activity level as you do. Relax. :)
    Noel_57 wrote: »
    My wife can get drunk faster than me. I feel like giving up booze. :/
    Do not dare give up! Keep fighting, my friend!
  • MagicDance396
    MagicDance396 Posts: 13 Member
    So it's not exactly the same situation but I cook the meals for everyone in my family (my mom and sister). When I started cooking healthy meals, everyone started losing weight! This is great but my mother is losing weight almost as fast as me. She is much smaller to begin with and us not actually counting calories or measuring servings. So the fact that she is losing as fast as me makes me a bit discouraged. Not that I don't want her to lose weight, it just makes me feel like I must be doing something wrong or that I'm not trying hard enough.

    What I've decided to do is just focus on my weight loss. As long as I'm not gaining, I'll get to my goals eventually, and that's what's important!
  • Uraveragepoet
    Uraveragepoet Posts: 40 Member
    I always loose weight faster than my wife. In general, men loose weight faster. Don't give up because of that. Giving up won't help you.
  • maryjay52
    maryjay52 Posts: 557 Member
    men typically lose faster ..take a look at what you are doing and switch it up.. if you stay with the same thing every day then you will stay stagnant
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    mrsshanatimmer5360 wrote: »
    What do you do when your partner is out shining you in a journey the two of you started together ?

    He could not do this without your support and neither could you without his - this is marriage.

    Men will normally lose weight faster due to increase muscle mass, differing hormonal balances, and a host of other physiological factors which are critical to preserving health. Rejoice in his success. Rejoice in your success. Don't fret over the rate of change, rather than the change itself.
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