It's so damn difficult....
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I may sound harsh, but you've got to hate being fat more than you love eating.
I agree with this. It wasn't until all the foods I was eating and overheating started making me seriously ill that I made a change. I had tried 2 times before with successes but never stuck to it. I have been at this for 5 months now and that's the longest I've ever stuck with a change. It has become my life now and I don't even think about it. It's not about motivation or some secret trick. You just have to be committed and determined enough to know you want a different life. That's what keeps me going.0 -
GoldenLennon wrote: »I get that losing weight is not an easy task. I get that you don't have to work until you nearly pass out. But to eat things in moderation and exercise could help too. But anytime I feel like I'm in the right mindset 99% of the time, but in the end I feel like I can't do it and gain another 5 lbs. Is there anyone out there who also thinks like this or is it just me? Any advice I could get on how to get over something like this and get to a healthier me?
I always feel like people don't explore your whys enough. Why do you feel like you can't do it in the end? What makes it so hard? For me, I begin to really see progress in myself with issues around food when I finally admitted that I'm not good at certain things when it comes to eating. I'm not good at being patient, I'm not good at failing, and I'm not good living in the grey with food and weight loss. So I took away the scale because I can't be patient with it, I implemented healthy strategies that were easy for me to win at (for some time that was not calorie counting), and I gave myself room to make mistakes with food and continue the next day. This is a marathon not a sprint. Sustainable long term weight loss is not sexy, it isn't 2 lbs a week consistently. This is about being proud to be a person who makes healthy choices most of the time and celebrates eating cake some of the time. Here are some things I did because I kept bingeing or giving up when I meticulously and perfectly counted calories, went to the gym for hours on end, and weighed myself every day.
I wrote down all of my food in a non calorie counting environment-less judgement
A focus on adding vegetables, lean proteins, and whole fruits to my diet but allowing myself pizza and cake a few times a week in smaller portions
I drink 96 oz of water a day
I try to que in to hunger signals while I eat and stop before Im completely stuffed and food is less appetizing than it was when I started
I stayed off the scale
Maybe try habits like those for awhile and see if you can't gain some confidence by just implementing healthy changes that don't completely turn your world upside down. Weight loss is hard but its harder when you can't be consistent and when you try to right the ship overnight.3 -
grmckenzie wrote: »grmckenzie wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Chose your hard.
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I've seen this before and don't get it. It was easy to be over 300 for me. How is being fat hard?
They won't let you on the teacup ride for one thing
But I don't want to go on the teacup ride. So that isn't hard for me.....
I dunno. In my 40's, being fat left me sick, in pain and tired all the time. That wasn't fun, though I sure enjoyed the 3500 calorie dinners at BBW. 0 -
I understand how you feel! I fell off the wagon this summer and gained 12lbs of the 70 I've lost. I thought I could keep it off without mfp but I guess I was wrong, lol. I suggest doing something you're proud of that doesn't involve weight. For example, I may have gained over 10lbs but I also ran a half marathon 4 weeks ago. Yours doesn't have to be that extreme, choose something that you want to accomplish fitness wise but besides weight loss. 0
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OP, you are mentally treating this as an episode. You want to be done with it and you want it to be over.
No. This is not a temporary thing. This is the rest of your life. Once you get into that frame of mind, you can decide to live the rest of your life corpulent and brief or you can decide to stretch this sucker out and break dance at your grandkids' wedding.8 -
grmckenzie wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Chose your hard.
Sidetrack
I've seen this before and don't get it. It was easy to be over 300 for me. How is being fat hard?
I hated being fat. Everything hurt, I felt judged in public, I was never comfortable eating, I was tired all the time, moving was difficult. When I started to have trouble fitting into places? It was humiliating.8 -
You might try to look at it as something more positive: not that you are trying to lose weight as much as you are trying to get more healthy. Adding more vegetables and fruits to your diet is easier than trying to eliminate carbs or sweets. Finding some enjoyable exercise you like to do is better than feeling like you have to work out. Make small changes that will make you healthier, whether or not they make you thinner. This is a life-long lifestyle, not just a diet that you go on or go off.0
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Being on a diet is the penance we must pay for letting ourselves become overweight, it's sometimes not a pleasant place to be, but it is what it is. I have days or even weeks where i find eating in a deficit easy, then there's times where it just downright sucks, i wouldn't say it's all plain sailing nor is it all miserable.
Dont try and be in a hurry, this next year will pass either way whether you get on the weight loss wagon or not. This time next year you could be at your goal weight or still lamenting about how hard this all is, it's totally in your hands.
There's a couple of things that keep me on the straight and narrow.. One is that i never, ever want to have to lose the weight I've lost all over again, and second the thought of being overweight again petrifies me. I'm so glad that i practically have it over and done with now and i stopped procrastinating. The sooner you start, the sooner it will be over with.
When i say over with, i mean the weight loss part, maintenance will be a life long endeavour, this app is here for us and makes things so much easier and i will be utilising it to it's fullest for as long as it takes, be it a few more years or forever.
Start off slowly and add or subtract things at your own pace , do not wear yourself out by going to severe.1 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »grmckenzie wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Chose your hard.
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I've seen this before and don't get it. It was easy to be over 300 for me. How is being fat hard?
I hated being fat. Everything hurt, I felt judged in public, I was never comfortable eating, I was tired all the time, moving was difficult. When I started to have trouble fitting into places? It was humiliating.
Ditto this, i was embarrassed and disappointed in myself. Being overweight is hard, pretty much the opposite in every way of being slim/normal body weight and confident.2 -
grmckenzie wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Chose your hard.
Sidetrack
I've seen this before and don't get it. It was easy to be over 300 for me. How is being fat hard?
From my experience ... and I was overweight, not obese ...
On flights ... when you're light, you can curl up in those economy seats and actually have some room to work with. When you're heavier, you can't. You're basically stuck in one position.
On the sofa ... when you're light, you can sit down and stand up with no difficulty at all. You can also breathe. When you're heavier, it is harder to get up out of a sofa and it is harder to breathe all that fat scrunches together and puts pressure on the lungs.
Walking ... when you're light, you can fly up and down hills and zoom wherever you need to go. When you're heavier, walking is a plod and if there are hills, as there are where I live, you're gasping for air halfway up.
Same with running ... it's just so much easier when you're lighter.
Cycling ... when you're light, hills are tough, but you can get into that granny gear and make it to the top. When you're heavier hills are an exercise in torture. They hurt ... everything hurts ... and so dauntingly difficult.
And then there's the energy level ... I know when I was heavier, everything I did took more energy so I was tired all the time and wanted to do less. But that made me sad because who wants to spend their life sitting on the sofa (which as I mentioned above was difficult too)? Being lighter, I've got more energy so I do more things.
Oh, and then there's tying your shoes. When I was heavier, I'd lean forward to tie my shoes and two things would happen: 1) I couldn't breathe, and 2) I'd regurgitate a bit into my mouth. Now that I'm lighter I can tie my shoes comfortably.
And what about clothing ... when I was heavier, nothing fit right and I had to wear tights or leggings to prevent that thigh rub. Now my clothes fit and I can toss on a light skirt without the heat of tights or leggings if I want.
Just some examples from my personal experience.
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stephenearllucas wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »RocheBeukes wrote: »I've also been struggling, I changed my goal to 500kg this week from 750kg. Maybe it will make a difference. Any tips on staying on track during the weekend, it seems that's when I'm the weakest.....
500 kg of what?
I suspect she means grams.
I suspect she means calories.
No ... she means she changed her goal from losing 0.75 kg (or 750 grams) each week down to losing 0.5 kg (or 500 grams) each week so that she has more calories to work with.
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I just got into the habit of logging everything I eat.
It's amazing how caloric awareness keeps you on track.
I don't make rules as to what I can and can't eat. I exercise because I love it. I eat what I love within my calorie limit.
I'm fully aware I will need to stick to my calorie limit for life. I don't have a problem with that.
What use is having a problem with the laws of physics?
This is what worked for me the last time I tried. Caloric awareness (I like that). I run out of ideas to eat healthy, but that's no excuse. I just want to stay inspired by readily available mixes of different foods. Keeps things interesting. I need that.1 -
Being overweight is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Chose your hard.
@GoldenLennon
All you have to do is follow MFP's calorie recommendation and eat food to meet that goal. You don't even have to cut anything out of your current diet. Just eat food. There is no 'good foods' or 'bad foods'. This is how I lost almost 100lbs (I still have 40 to go!).
I lost weight with a nutritious diet plus so-called 'junk food'. I drank beer and wine and during PMS I sure as hell eat a lot of chocolate and cheespuffs. How did I not gain weight? I weighed EVERYTHING I ate (except liquids which were measured). Get a food scale, weigh all the foods you eat (even those that are pre-weighed and prepackaged). Today I had a protein bar, but I weighed it beforehand. It ended up being 10 grams LESS than the package. Some foods can be up to 20% higher or lower.
Just. Do. It. No more excuses. No more 'I can't. You CAN. You don't need a silly '30 day diet', or BS gimmicks like anything Doctor Quack Oz promotes. No BS weight loss shakes or Herbalife crap. Just eat food. Weight loss/gain/maintaining is all about energy balance (calories).
Tell yourself you can. You are banned from saying "I can't".
Being fat is hard. It was hard to move. It was painful, embarrassing, mortifying. Getting mooed and oinked at is not pleasant. Not being able to fit in seats hurts. Joints hurt. Stuffing your face becomes depressing.... The clothes looked awful on me as I was wearing looser fitting clothes to hide the fatness.. Having hateful words thrown at you.. the laughter. Hiding away so no one sees you. Not being able to jog. Not being able to do much as walking to the fridgegrmckenzie wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Chose your hard.
Sidetrack
I've seen this before and don't get it. It was easy to be over 300 for me. How is being fat hard?
Not easy..4 -
@GoldenLennon - you are only 25 and as your profile says you are "Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired."
Believe me if you feel this way now at your age being older can make the whole 'journey' worse and harder. Our bodies, joints, hormones to name a few do not find obesity healthy. Obesity affects us in all aspects of life, getting around is harder, society judges whether they should or not, clothes are a nightmare and travelling can be downright demoralizing and those expamples are just off the top of my head.
I really believe it might be time to delve deeper into what is holding you back - on the one hand you are fed up but reluctant to take that final plunge and start. Ask yourself why?? Is it fear, worry about failing, feeling like to achieve this will condemn you to a life of denial??
There are as many reasons why people procrastinate and put off what they know is the right thing to do - find your roadblock, put in into perspective and own it then you can be on you way to waving goodbye to feeling permantly off par and finally feel like you are not living your life to it's fullest potential.2 -
grmckenzie wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Chose your hard.
Sidetrack
I've seen this before and don't get it. It was easy to be over 300 for me. How is being fat hard?
Well, in my opinion, it's hard on your body and your health, as well as your psyche. It was also hard on my digestion for me to eat myself to 220 pounds.
It was hard learning new habits to lose weight in a healthy manner, and to learn portion control.
@GottaBurnEmAll is spot on, in my opinion. I'd rather have the hard of losing weight and maintaining than gaining weight.1 -
I may sound harsh, but you've got to hate being fat more than you love eating.
Nothing wonderful is ever easy.
But once you get into the habit of moving your body more, you will feel worse when you miss a workout, walk, whatever you do.....
Some days I still overeat but I try to ensure I walk more that day to balance the goodies I consume. I really prefer the skinny fit me over the fat me.
I love your kind of harshness, then.
The truth is the truth no matter how we color it.1 -
@GoldenLennon
In your profile you say, "I've been overweight most of my life. And I think I am in the right mind set to lose the weight. I've tried in the past but always get discouraged. This time will be the last time around I am going to attempt to lose weight."
Being a healthy weight is something we have to aim for the whole of our lives.
We don't just lose weight and that's it. That's not how it works.
We certainly shouldn't try, fail, and give up completely.
MFP is a fantastic tool. I can't praise it enough. It lets you keep tabs on your calories, just like we keep tabs on our bank balance.
Are you going to ignore your bank balance for the rest of your life?1 -
The first thing I will tell you is NEVER GIVE UP!!
You most importantly have to tell yourself, like really beat it into your mind that THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN FAST!!!
Commit right now in your mind to a year, a year that will be filled with learning, ups and downs, goals, struggle, and most importantly FAILURES.
It's ok to fail, embrace it and learn from it. Within the year you will learn so much about yourself, your will and drive, your determination and your body. Not every week is going to be a good week, you may gain some weight, you may lose some and you may not do either, but thats part of the process. Don't let a few pounds deter you and don't expect everything to just happen, you're going to go weeks and months without seeing progress, but thats ok as long as you keep pushing forward, i always say a baby step forward is still a step further.
Start slow, don't rush in head first and overwhelm yourself, start by just drinking water only, no juice or soda or anything else just drink water, at least a gallon a day and start making healthy food choices, start by eliminating sugar and go from there, go walk and start being a little more active slowly over the course of a few months, start small and make little changes!!
Set small goals, weekly goals and work towards them, if you fail its ok because you're trying just as long as you don't give up, we all have setbacks its normal, but as you slowly startaking these changes it will become more and more doable and routine and then soon before you know it you'll look back and be like damn i actually did it.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself, just take it slow for now and remember DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!0 -
I may sound harsh, but you've got to hate being fat more than you love eating.
Nothing wonderful is ever easy.
Completely this.
People keep coming to MFP hoping for some magical source of inspiration but that's really the bottom line - you have to hate what you see in the mirror and how being overweight makes you feel more than you like the food. And NOBODY can do that for you.
If it was easy, everyone would be skinny.
That being said, you can still eat tasty food and lose weight, you just have to learn to cook (some people do fine without it, but I'm not one of those).
Also, the mistake that people do is to rely on the scale too much... they do well for a week or two but the scale doesn't bulge (or they gain water weight) and they give up... the key is not to give up. Weight loss isn't linear and you will gain water weight at one point or another... as long as you log and you know that you're eating at a deficit, you got to trust the science (but it only works if you're really honest in your logging).
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I was having a hard time going up and down in weight, getting motivated and blowing it. I started seeing a dietitian and can't recommend it enough! I have learned some great new things about eating, portions, timing and choices of foods to stay full and appropriate ratios of nutrients. I'm loving this because I feel full and am never longing for food. My sweet craving has also flown the coup! Even better, my insurance is covering the fee. Even if your insurance doesn't cover it, it's so worth it!
This is working so well that I plan to keep eating this way even after I lose my weight -More calories then of course but healthy, high fiber/protein and low carbs will remain my eating method.0 -
i can relate to you big time ..for all my life . now i am doing it with a different mind set . one thing i definitely do is prepare myself ahead of time . i am keeping majorly busy in my life now and assuring my time to do my workouts . i have small baby step goals so instead of saying i need to lose 70lbs i say i need to lose 5. i have a lunch bag that i fill up with fruit , nuts , sometimes a protein /fiber bar , yogurt and a big water bottle with lemon in it .. i drive alot and so i have something to eat while driving as opposed to going through a drive-thru. keeping occupied and being prepared i am now working on making a habit . have a carrot - i am going to Greece in February and I refuse to be out of shape for the trip0
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I'm not trying to be harsh but that scale doest give a damn about you. Put it in a shelf for the next two months and just focus on logging everything. If you go over at first that's fine. Just log.
After a bit you will start seeing stuff like "Golly gee! That chicken I just cooked was 350cal. I could eat that and feel fuller longer than I did that 1050cal taco bell meal!" (me the other day)
Don't worry about exercising yet. Just log the food. If you go over then move on. What helped me was logging before I ate.
I still have trouble finding motivation to work out but logging has become just another part of eating for me.0
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