Are you a Diet Drag?
elisa123gal
Posts: 4,333 Member
After spending another vanilla evening with a friend of mine who has been on a crazy crash fad diet... I had to look at myself in the mirror and ask. "Have I ever been a diet drag too?"
For the past two months she's been on some crazy 500 calorie a day restrictive diet with no carbs and no alcohol.
i have found myself in a few social situations with her where the entire evening or event revolves around her restrictive diet..how she needs her bland fish and water pronto! So we all have to change the time we normally like to eat and put the breaks on our cocktail hour and wine with dinner.
also....how at the football or hockey game she can't leave her seat.. "she might smell food." So no gathering for fun conversation and laughs at halftime where we always have done
The rest of us in the party can't have fun or enjoy ourselves in a relaxed manner.
Truth is - she's a drag to be around and I'm starting to not like her company.
I've always exercised and saved calories for my night's out with friends so I can participate in a stealth fashion and still stay on track. Do any of you have tricks you use so you're not the wet blanket of the group.
For the past two months she's been on some crazy 500 calorie a day restrictive diet with no carbs and no alcohol.
i have found myself in a few social situations with her where the entire evening or event revolves around her restrictive diet..how she needs her bland fish and water pronto! So we all have to change the time we normally like to eat and put the breaks on our cocktail hour and wine with dinner.
also....how at the football or hockey game she can't leave her seat.. "she might smell food." So no gathering for fun conversation and laughs at halftime where we always have done
The rest of us in the party can't have fun or enjoy ourselves in a relaxed manner.
Truth is - she's a drag to be around and I'm starting to not like her company.
I've always exercised and saved calories for my night's out with friends so I can participate in a stealth fashion and still stay on track. Do any of you have tricks you use so you're not the wet blanket of the group.
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Replies
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I am a miserable person to be around when I am running RFL cuts. I am often lethergic, irritable, and will snap over the dumbest things. That said, my cuts on that only last 12 days, so it's easy for me to just shut myself away from people for that period of time, to avoid splashing my negativity all over everyone else.5
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Let her do her thing and you do yours. Its only a drag if YOU let it be a drag7
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Nah .. it is pretty much a drag.. In theory, what you say seems logical. But the truth is, she's a drag to be around and anyone on a real restrictive diet who imposes that on a group of people in a social setting needs to examine that behavior . And I'm including myself in that. From now on.. I'm going to make sure I don't do the same thing myself.2
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There's being on a super restrictive diet for whatever reason and then there's making big song and dance about being on a super restrictive diet. The latter would be tiresome for everyone, including the person doing it.
I just go out with friends, do what I have to do, whether that's making choices that fit or allowing myself to just enjoy one day and I don't even mention it because nobody cares but me. Constantly talking about being on a diet is boring and unless explicitly asked I generally keep my yapper shut.21 -
I like the word "stealth" in this context. Calorie counting and weight loss are just NOT interesting subjects. So I don't talk about it.
I don't log at the table unless I'm at home, and certainly not at a restaurant. If I really need to check where I'm at, I'll nip to the toilet and do my numbers there.
I don't comment on how things are "fattening" or how I "really shouldn't" or try and rope others into my food decisions. If I decide I can't afford dessert because it'll take me over my goal, I don't even go there, I just say I don't really want a dessert, I've had enough (both of which are true - I don't want to derail my goals, and I've decided on this occasion that having dessert would derail me, so I don't want it - nobody needs to know the boring details of why I don't want it).
And I won't sit sadly watching others eat - I'll order a drink, hot chocolate if I have the calories, herbal tea if not, so that I have something to consume and share in the ritual.
If someone offers me something, I'll either accept gratefully or politely decline - no attitude about "you're ruining my diet".
How I choose to eat is my choice and my business, no-one else cares, or even needs to know.36 -
That friend does sound a bit of a drag, talk about being a party pooper
It would be interesting to know if she has had or can maintain any success.
I eat at deficit Mon-Thu so I can eat slightly above maintenance calories at the weekend. It works perfectly and I've been at maintenance for almost 4 years.
I really don't want others around me in general being aware that I keep an eye on how much I eat.4 -
Friend : "I need my fish and water pronto".
Me : "OK, I'm eating later where i'll be drinking cocktails and wine".
Friend : "I'm not leaving my seat, I might smell food"
Me : "Ok, see you after halftime"22 -
I NEVER talk about my "diet" with any family/friends/colleagues as they wouldn't understand what/why I do what I do.2
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I don't like talking about my diet either. I get asked now and then but usually opt to answer the question as briefly as possible and then redirect.
"Yes, I eat a lot of vegetables ... I like vegetables ... those are nice shoes you've got!"1 -
yeah, no that is not an acceptable way to act! Won't leave her seat because she might smell food? Well, we'll see in after half time. Why are you guys letting her dictate the whole group. In private, talk to her and let her know her choices are her choices, but you will be continuing as you have in the past.3
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Personally, I'd ditch the 'friend.' She sounds incredibly self-absorbed. Bring her back into the fold after she crashes and burns.
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No, I've never been like this.
In general, people other than my husband do not know if/when I am cutting calories. I admit that I am not super social but when I am with friends, I in no way expect them to change plans according to whether I am dieting or not.
The behavior you describe in the OP is attention-seeking. Your group of friends shouldn't cater to it. I'm not saying to wave food in front of her face but there's no reason for you to change everything for her.2 -
Ugh. I used to know a diet drag. A group of us at work were all following Weight Watchers (back in the days of the 1-2-3 Success program). We all knew the points value of pretty much everything and it was fine when we were chatting about it among ourselves, but the 'diet drag' would carry it over into everything. If we went to a restaurant, she would bring her own low fat spread for her bread-roll. She would even bring her own food to people's houses when she'd been invited round for dinner. She was a pain in the backside and eventually people stopped inviting her out.0
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I try to do the incognito mode like many others.
It did back fire on me last year. I made chicken salad the night before (whole 30) and had my entire meal planned out for the trip to the mountains for skiing with coworkers/friends. I'd run to the car to get something(breakfast or lunch).
I miss judged the refrigeration requirements and figured it'd be cold all day in the car so no cooler or lunch box just a grocery bag. Well in that 3 hour drive to the mountain my food got hot from the heater, cooled off some just in time for lunch. Long story short, I was hurling off the lift (thankfully not a gondola!) and got bad food poisoning. I fessed up to my coworkers/friends what I did and the jig was up.
I ate 3 bananas and a bunch of water in the lodge after my long run down. I stayed true to the whole 30 I was on that day, I was rather embarrassed but it's a funny topic these days. I get props for being committed and no one knew the wiser that I'd been doing the whole 30 for months but still hanging out and going out until that day.2 -
I don't believe I am a diet drag. I enjoy social eating, so I don't skimp on the food. Those who don't know me would never guess I'm on a diet and I don't mention it. Those who know me already know how I do things so I got all the how's and why's out of the way long ago, and since I'm me as usual, and nearly nothing changed about the way we hang out and I eat, my diet usually goes unmentioned by anyone.0
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No. I wasn't even when I did a restrictive fad diet in the past. I didn't talk about it unless someone asked me. I didn't refuse to do things or ask people to change for me. I didn't bring my own food to gatherings.
Now I just watch my calorie intake, eat what everyone else does and still don't talk about it. I don't bring up weight loss. I don't make comments about how many calories are in food.0 -
I find people tend to make me a drag by talking about it even when I don't. Saturday I was at lunch with my husband's family. They ordered onion rings and fried pickles as appetizers. As soon as they order his aunt declares "oh man! That was so rude of us to do to Danni! She is doing so well. Sorry Danni!" Also followed by "what are you ordering Danni? Salad? I should too... but I have no willpower!" I actually had 5 fried pickles chips,grilled chicken sandwich with cheese/bacon and a side of fruit. Because I can live my life and fit it in my goals for the day. People are amazed by that. I don't have to say a word for people to bring up what a drag my life is. Lol.
Edit: typo6 -
Drag the drag with you at half time and tell her that learning self-control will serve her far better in the long run than the latest stupid diet she's on.3
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No one knew I was losing weight or counting calories until they noticed the weight dropping. When asked I simply responded "yea, I've lost a few pounds." When asked how I was losing I simply replied eating less and moving more.
As far as social situations I can eat and drink with the best of them. I plan for those indulgences and stay on track as much as possible. If I go off the rails one day, no biggie, I just pick back up the next day.
My guess your friend is not as committed to her diet as she lets on. She sounds like an attention seeker. She's free to eat, or not eat whatever she wants. She's free to sit in the stands. You are free to let her control you, or not. The choice is yours to make.1 -
I try to go incognito too. I hang with a crowd on Fridays that tend to go overboard on drinking and then following up with diner food and milkshakes at 4am. They would not be interested in hearing about calorie counts, lol. I just reserve an extra 200 calorie deficit each day and then eat extra light during the day on Fridays so I can let loose with my friends. Though, I will sneak off to the bathroom to log the number of pbrs that I drink3
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I have realized i talk about my fitness/diet alot more. Comes up in pretty much every conversation. I cant help it my minds still accepting huge changes and working on many more. I try my best to not be annoying though, And its more like "I saved up calories all week so we could have pizza -digs in-" or "i walked extra today so i could have some chocolate yummy" Vs "Gah food what ew no never!!!"
Edit: one thing i refuse to do is talk about how food is fattening and "i really shouldnt eat that" ...I just dont. If they ask ill say i pick my battles i have a slice of cheesecake calling my name when i get home0 -
I find people tend to make me a drag by talking about it even when I don't. Saturday I was at lunch with my husband's family. They ordered onion rings and fried pickles as appetizers. As soon as they order his aunt declares "oh man! That was so rude of us to do to Danni! She is doing so well. Sorry Danni!" Also followed by "what are you ordering Danni? Salad? I should too... but I have no willpower!" I actually had 5 fried pickles chips,grilled chicken sandwich with cheese/bacon and a side of fruit. Because I can live my life and fit it in my goals for the day. People are amazed by that. I don't have to say a word for people to bring up what a drag my life is. Lol.
Edit: typo
So much this. People keep being like "what do you eat salad?" Im like nope i dont think iv had a salad this entire time -noms down her giant burger and potato wedges- And when i grocery shop with my aunt she keeps slapping food out of my hands like "you dont need this!" Like *kitten* please iv lost 65 pounds in 6 months your watching m shrink dont act like you know what i need6 -
I'm pretty sure I'm a drag to my husband. I talk about calories/weight loss all the time. I can't help being excited about some of the things I've learned. I pull out my phone when we go out to eat to log my food.
BUT it hasn't impacted our social life, I eat out, I drink wine/beer I just say things like "I'll have a salad so I can have a glass of wine".
Actually maybe I should ask him if I'm a drag:).1 -
The idea of fried pickles intrigues me0
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CattOfTheGarage wrote: »The idea of fried pickles intrigues me
One place i went to the fried pickles had more calories than the fried mars bars. Pick your poison XD Granted was a huge fancy platter type place. Was really unexpected to see the numbers XD0 -
Friend : "I need my fish and water pronto".
Me : "OK, I'm eating later where i'll be drinking cocktails and wine".
Friend : "I'm not leaving my seat, I might smell food"
Me : "Ok, see you after halftime"
THIS. .
And, since I've got a friend whose been like this recently, here's what I said as firmly but gently as I could:
"hey, it's great that you're being super conscious about what you're eating these days, but this Friday when the gang gets together, we're going to be drinking and eating wings and nachos, the conversation is NOT going to be like last time when all we talked about was what you could or couldn't eat or drink, okay? If you want to eat beforehand, we'd love your company!"
End of story? Friend got the message, and joined us!6 -
Friend : "I need my fish and water pronto".
Me : "OK, I'm eating later where i'll be drinking cocktails and wine".
Friend : "I'm not leaving my seat, I might smell food"
Me : "Ok, see you after halftime"
Word.
And whenever I get particularly strict - such as I'm cutting for a competition - I always tell my wife (and whomever is with us) to get whatever she/they want(s). I'm a big boy and can make my own choices on how/what to restrict my intake. I can still hang, but eat either less or something different.2 -
I'm probably a drag to my husband, too. Not when we go out with friends or on weekends because I bank calories for that, but on weeknights. I don't talk about it, but after dinner I close down the kitchen and go to another part of the house to read. I've learned hanging out watching TV in the kitchen leads to unintended snacking. Maybe we should watch a TV show together in another room or something like that in the evenings.
I will say this, DH stopped drinking 2 months ago because of a medication he started taking. More than 1 made him feel bad initially, and now more 2 does.That has made it SO, SO much easier to drink less on weekends, and that is probably a good thing.
OP, is this a new thing for your friend? Maybe she will wear herself out?0 -
I don't think it's the fad diet she's on, but more so she seems to be the sort of person that expects everyone else's life to revolve around her.
Typically, if I go out with friends and eating is involved I just make sensible choices so that everything fits into my daily calorie allotment. If drinking is involved, I'm not much of a drinker to begin with, so it wouldn't be odd for me to order something nonalcoholic.0
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