How much is "too" much?
MissingMyOldSelf
Posts: 689 Member
in Chit-Chat
My best friend is getting married to a guy who's pretty well off, monetary wise, and they're getting married out of state in a couple of weeks. She asked me to take pictures before and after the wedding because the photographer that the package pays for only covers ceremony photos, and nothing else. I agreed without a problem, but I didn't know that the cost of the weekend was going to be so extravagant.
We just booked our hotel rooms for it, which, the "wedding rate" is still $200 a night for a cheap room, after putting in cost for the resort fee, daily parking rate, and taxes. We're staying for 2 nights.
I just found out we'll be doing a Riverboat Cruise as part of the rehearsal dinner the night before, and that's $100 a person, plus, dinner after the wedding is averaging about $100 a person, too (separate tabs). And, there was mention of barhopping afterwards, so that's more money.
My husband and I are on very limited income, especially since he's got to have an unexpected hernia surgery next week. I told my friend that we wouldn't be participating in the cruise, not only because of the cost, but also because my husband shouldn't be on a boat so soon after surgery. (We found out that there's a hospital close by the hotel, though, just in case he should need medical attention for any reason.)
A mutual friend of ours says that this is her "princess moment", and we should just do what she wants... but I really didn't expect to be paying $1000 for a weekend. This is my friend's 2nd marriage, and her fiance's 3rd, and I don't want to sound like I'm cheap, but I just can't afford the extras for that weekend.
Would you guys say something to your friend? Or would you do what our friend says, and let her have her princess moment?
We just booked our hotel rooms for it, which, the "wedding rate" is still $200 a night for a cheap room, after putting in cost for the resort fee, daily parking rate, and taxes. We're staying for 2 nights.
I just found out we'll be doing a Riverboat Cruise as part of the rehearsal dinner the night before, and that's $100 a person, plus, dinner after the wedding is averaging about $100 a person, too (separate tabs). And, there was mention of barhopping afterwards, so that's more money.
My husband and I are on very limited income, especially since he's got to have an unexpected hernia surgery next week. I told my friend that we wouldn't be participating in the cruise, not only because of the cost, but also because my husband shouldn't be on a boat so soon after surgery. (We found out that there's a hospital close by the hotel, though, just in case he should need medical attention for any reason.)
A mutual friend of ours says that this is her "princess moment", and we should just do what she wants... but I really didn't expect to be paying $1000 for a weekend. This is my friend's 2nd marriage, and her fiance's 3rd, and I don't want to sound like I'm cheap, but I just can't afford the extras for that weekend.
Would you guys say something to your friend? Or would you do what our friend says, and let her have her princess moment?
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Replies
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What are you going to say?
I'm not coming?
$100/pp for dinner? Both nights? Seems like that's way too high. I can eat at a 5 star place in Downtown Chicago for $100 for two.0 -
I'm going... but like you said... $100/pp a dinner for both nights. These are the places they've picked to eat.
I don't know what to say.... I'm going because I've booked the rooms... but I just can't afford the extras like that. I'm happy just going to McDonalds or ordering in from somewhere where I can save a shload.0 -
Well if she really wants you there and her husband is some richy rich than it would only be fair for her to pay. I would do that especially at $100 a plate...ouch!
Sigh to be thin, young, and beautiful so I could wrangle me up one of the rich ones...sigh.0 -
I'm going... but like you said... $100/pp a dinner for both nights. These are the places they've picked to eat.
I don't know what to say.... I'm going because I've booked the rooms... but I just can't afford the extras like that. I'm happy just going to McDonalds or ordering in from somewhere where I can save a shload.
I would like to see the menu of a place that is $100/pp0 -
If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.0
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I'm going... but like you said... $100/pp a dinner for both nights. These are the places they've picked to eat.
I don't know what to say.... I'm going because I've booked the rooms... but I just can't afford the extras like that. I'm happy just going to McDonalds or ordering in from somewhere where I can save a shload.
I would like to see the menu of a place that is $100/pp
I swear, if it's a salad about the size of my fist and one 1inch thick cut of steak and a baby tomato for the main course, you'll hear me scream around the world.0 -
If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.0 -
If she expects you to do that, I certainly hope she doesn't want a gift... :noway:0
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And by the way "princess moment" WTF people are we 12? Grow up it's just a friggin wedding people do it everyday. I hate how people spend so much on this stupid one day event and dont even really think about what it means...marriage for life. What's the average wedding now like $10K? $10K do you know what I could do with that money...I'd put a down payment on a house, get the BF teeth fixed, save it for my future surgery, put it into a college fund for my child, go on a long vacation, but to spend it on some stupid overly priced princess dress NO THANK YOU!
Sorry my little rant over weddings...waste o' money and time.0 -
If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.
If I ever get married, my rehearsal dinner will be a beer, porn, snuggie party. Bring your own snuggie.0 -
If she expects you to do that, I certainly hope she doesn't want a gift... :noway:
totally this0 -
I would explain to them that there's some aspects of it you just plain can't afford. If she wants you to be her photographer for those events, she should cover your tab. I don't know of a tactful way to propose that, though.0
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Oh and what a cheap azz friend wont pay for more for the photographers time, but is using your services for free...damn least she could do is pay for your dinner.
If you hadn't already booked a room, and I assume you like this friend, I'd say dont bother going. The more I think about it the more she annoys me. Is she the annoying type and is her hair bleached blonde?0 -
I would explain to them that there's some aspects of it you just plain can't afford. If she wants you to be her photographer for those events, she should cover your tab. I don't know of a tactful way to propose that, though.
Just say it.
Photographers are not free0 -
I would explain to them that there's some aspects of it you just plain can't afford. If she wants you to be her photographer for those events, she should cover your tab. I don't know of a tactful way to propose that, though.
She made a casual mention once of paying for "a night" of mine.... but that was January 1st, and she was drinking.... :huh:0 -
Wait., wut!? She wants you to take pictures at the wedding because her rich fiance isn't wiling to shell out for a wedding photographer who will take the pics she wants, and yet she also expects you to pay for all this when you can't really afford it? When did rehearsal dinners become dutch pay?0
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Oh and what a cheap azz friend wont pay for more for the photographers time, but is using your services for free...damn least she could do is pay for your dinner.
If you hadn't already booked a room, and I assume you like this friend, I'd say dont bother going. The more I think about it the more she annoys me. Is she the annoying type and is her hair bleached blonde?
I'm not a GREAT photographer... but I'm good. I'm just trying to get more experience. lol
... and not "bleached"... but "highlighted"... yes! LOL!!0 -
And by the way "princess moment" WTF people are we 12? Grow up it's just a friggin wedding people do it everyday. I hate how people spend so much on this stupid one day event and dont even really think about what it means...marriage for life. What's the average wedding now like $10K? $10K do you know what I could do with that money...I'd put a down payment on a house, get the BF teeth fixed, save it for my future surgery, put it into a college fund for my child, go on a long vacation, but to spend it on some stupid overly priced princess dress NO THANK YOU!
Sorry my little rant over weddings...waste o' money and time.
My wedding cost $9.99...that's right, folks there is a decimal point in there...less than $10. Gotta love Reno weddings, LOL
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If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.
If I ever get married, my rehearsal dinner will be a beer, porn, snuggie party. Bring your own snuggie.
What kind of porn it matters?0 -
If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.
If I ever get married, my rehearsal dinner will be a beer, porn, snuggie party. Bring your own snuggie.
What kind of porn it matters?
QFT0 -
If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.
Did she come to your wedding? And if she did what was the present?0 -
And by the way "princess moment" WTF people are we 12? Grow up it's just a friggin wedding people do it everyday. I hate how people spend so much on this stupid one day event and dont even really think about what it means...marriage for life. What's the average wedding now like $10K? $10K do you know what I could do with that money...I'd put a down payment on a house, get the BF teeth fixed, save it for my future surgery, put it into a college fund for my child, go on a long vacation, but to spend it on some stupid overly priced princess dress NO THANK YOU!
Sorry my little rant over weddings...waste o' money and time.
My wedding cost $9.99...that's right, folks there is a decimal point in there...less than $10. Gotta love Reno weddings, LOL
You might have the record...Reno is great0 -
If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.
Did she come to your wedding? And if she did what was the present?
No, she didn't. We knew each other back then, but we weren't more than just acquaintances back then. lol
OH! Would now be the time to mention that I just baked a double layer cake with fondant covering for her daughter's boyfriend last weekend?
0 -
And by the way "princess moment" WTF people are we 12? Grow up it's just a friggin wedding people do it everyday. I hate how people spend so much on this stupid one day event and dont even really think about what it means...marriage for life. What's the average wedding now like $10K? $10K do you know what I could do with that money...I'd put a down payment on a house, get the BF teeth fixed, save it for my future surgery, put it into a college fund for my child, go on a long vacation, but to spend it on some stupid overly priced princess dress NO THANK YOU!
Sorry my little rant over weddings...waste o' money and time.
My wedding cost $9.99...that's right, folks there is a decimal point in there...less than $10. Gotta love Reno weddings, LOL
You might have the record...Reno is great
I think she does!!! WINNER!!0 -
If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.
Did she come to your wedding? And if she did what was the present?
No, she didn't. We knew each other back then, but we weren't more than just acquaintances back then. lol
OH! Would now be the time to mention that I just baked a double layer cake with fondant covering for her daughter's boyfriend last weekend?
You bake and do photography...how much did that puppy set you back? LOL ok now I say it should be room and dinner costs. Your friend does that for you because she's a friend and loves you better believe you help her out. Especially if hubby is recovering from surgery. 0 -
Screw that. Wouldn't be happening on my end.0
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If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.
If I ever get married, my rehearsal dinner will be a beer, porn, snuggie party. Bring your own snuggie.
What kind of porn it matters?
What kind do you like? I was planning on everybody writing down their preferences then we can draw them out of a hat and enjoy. Hopefully the more sick stuff comes after a few beers so we can all have a good laugh.0 -
Wanna know what I would say if I couldn't afford it... Your husband just had surgery for frickin sake!
No. I would say, I am sorry but I can't take the photos for free. Is there anything we can work out as compensation because of my DHs surgery and the costs that I did not expect when I initially said yes.
I never got comments like "princess moment" though for weddings. That alone would of turned on my b!tch switch :flowerforyou:0 -
And by the way "princess moment" WTF people are we 12? Grow up it's just a friggin wedding people do it everyday. I hate how people spend so much on this stupid one day event and dont even really think about what it means...marriage for life. What's the average wedding now like $10K? $10K do you know what I could do with that money...I'd put a down payment on a house, get the BF teeth fixed, save it for my future surgery, put it into a college fund for my child, go on a long vacation, but to spend it on some stupid overly priced princess dress NO THANK YOU!
Sorry my little rant over weddings...waste o' money and time.
My wedding cost $9.99...that's right, folks there is a decimal point in there...less than $10. Gotta love Reno weddings, LOL
You might have the record...Reno is great
I think she does!!! WINNER!!
You know, come to think of it...they never gave us the pictures that were supposed to come with our $9.99 deal (yeah, it came with like 5 photos or something, LOL)0 -
If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.
Did she come to your wedding? And if she did what was the present?
No, she didn't. We knew each other back then, but we weren't more than just acquaintances back then. lol
OH! Would now be the time to mention that I just baked a double layer cake with fondant covering for her daughter's boyfriend last weekend?
Honestly, sounds to me like your friend is taking the piss. I would just tell her outright that the expense is too high given your current situation (and IMO i dont see why guests should be expected to shell out a load of cash for others peoples weddings, and WTH is this fasination with rehersal dinners, you all know how to eat, right???)0
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