Kids weight issue?

hekla90

My eating disorder was caused my trauma

megdnoorman

SingRunTing wrote: »

I was definitely a secret eater from middle school onward. I would grab something from the pantry and eat it in the bathroom. If I had an extra dollar on me, I would buy a candy bar and eat it on the bus on the way home.

I don't really know why I did it, to be honest. I knew I would be told to stop because dinner was coming up or I just had a snack, but my parents wouldn't shame me. I did feel ashamed of myself, but it was self inflicted and I can't pinpoint an external source that made me feel that way.

I still struggle sometimes. I definitely snack more when I'm home alone than if my husband is home. I don't really understand it, but I stick to my calorie goal and that had helped.

I do this too and always have. I also had a relatively normal healthy childhood and was never overweight as a child because I played sports etc. but it has definitely caught up with me.

Even w/healthy food, I still "sneak" extra. For instance, I binge eat a bag of almonds in our walk-in pantry and then go buy another bag before my husband gets home. Then, sometimes, I'll feel bad about it and tell him about it framed as a quirky story "I just had to have those nuts!" Etc. I have no idea why I do this, and feel even sillier now that I'm writing it out and can see how dumb it is.

I go between feeling shame about eating unhealthy food and even about eating food in general, sometimes. And then I go to the other extreme and play up the "I'm the girl who eats a whole plate of supreme nachos with a pitcher of beer." As if that is a fun, good thing to be. I hate both.

Trying to fall somewhere in the middle of these two extremes has been my goal basically my whole life (and ideally, getting to a weight that falls between overweight and underweight, which are extremes I flip-flop between ). I hope my son doesn't pick up these habits/traits.

nokanjaijo

There was a study done by the CDC and Kaiser Permanente investigating the link between adverse childhood experiences and poor health. The results of the study were so stunning that the man who presented the finding wept as he did so.

The study came about as a result of the struggles a man had while running an obesity clinic.

I really do think most disordered eating is rooted in trauma, abuse and neglect.

lulalacroix

I had a very traumatic early childhood. This led to my refusal to eat, often. I think it was the only thing I felt that I had control over.

bbell1985

I did that as a kid. I can remember sneaking and hiding food, and I still do it. Now it's a lifelong problem and I was overweight from childhood until I was 28. I really don't know the answer...

Reaverie

It's sad parents do this to their children, intentionally or not. My mom was always starving herself because she struggled with obesity and even ended up in the hospital once. She was always popping pills to help speed the starving up (and back then they were ephedrine based).. and my sister and I ended up getting into them once and eating them like candy. She never new. However, she was shoving junk food down my siblings and my throat. We were over weight but not obese. Bad day? Let's have McDonald's! Good day? Let's have candy! A day? Cake! Pie! Ice cream! And ALWAYS a desert after dinner. And she piled our plates high demanding we ate it all. Ironically she would comment on my weight often and tell me I needed to exercise.

Because of how I grew up, I forbid junk with my own kids, perfectly portioned their meals, and there was no reward for eating ones dinner. Sweets were only on special occasions and holidays. Left over candy was tossed two days after the holiday. I pushed water and the very occasional juice. I talked about healthy diet and we walked a LOT. (Now here I am at 300lbs..) My son is almost 18 and my daughter is 15. Neither suffered from my limiting them. Now they are limiting me and encouraging me to exercise. My awesome support group!

I think it's important kids learn to eat right starting early in life and limited on junk food. They should think fruit is a special treat, not sugar. My nephew was never limited and now fights when told to eat his veggies. He wants junk. Chips, French fries, fried chicken.. nothing natural.. and will argue that these things are healthy. He is 8, overweight, and when I make him walk a mile with me, he is more winded than I am. My kids? They dance 2 miles..

brdoyle8

I have been a food hoarder, secret eater since I was very young. My mom always talked to me about it, coincidentally she also has her own problems with weight loss and self image. I grew up with an unhealthy view of food, and I went through high school and college grossly overeating with friends or when I wasn't around my family.

I agree wholeheartedly with what someone above said. I was always looking for approval, and food would always give that to me. That child will grow and learn the same thing, or maybe not.

davidtcharron

I wad always a secret eater. Was a big guy in high school untill i burned it off. Now my daughter is like me. She loves to eat and often so i focus on making sure she has good choices to eat as well as portion control and try to get her active in sports.

DaveDR7

'Everything in moderation' that's what they say isn't it!?
How can I give advice, I'm 250lb piece of blubber, but I do remember being brought up to eat everything on my plate or no sweet, the main difference nowadays to then, I was out with my friends, burning it all off, running around like a headless chicken, playing tag, cowboys and Indians, cops and robbers, I was a skinny runt until I became a trucker 27 years ago.
Unfortunately, I do believe parents have a responsibility to control what their kids eat, give them a healthy mix of different foods and don't let them gorge themselves on pizza in front of the Xbox/PS for hours on end, then wonder why they're at 15st+ as a teenager!
Get them out playing or give them healthy portions, we are on this MFP to get healthy and fit and lose weight, yet people seem to get upset, that you shouldn't tell your kids to stop eating cr*p because they'll get an "eating disorder", I sometimes wonder if that's better than seeing your kid at 300lbs+ and just a few years from having a heart attack.
We can recognise that we have to change ourselves to eat responsibly and exercise more to get fit, but we can't recognise that we should do the same for our kids. Seriously?
I think society is totally messed up, too many do-gooders, parents without moral fibre (many without fibre in their diet!), way too much PC and the result a society that's accepted obesity as a consequence of late 20th and 21st century living.
It's time for change!
Be a role model for your kids and grandkids, show them that you can change and be fit, let them follow your example.

comptonelizabeth

To me this doesn't sound untypical for a kid and doesn't necessarily mean she's a secret eater. She may just be used to being told not to have "more than one" or to treats not being available.
My granddaughter is a bit like this. She loves her food but her mum (my daughter)does have strange random views about when and what and how much she should eat . When my granddaughter comes to stay with us I'm aware she sometimes takes another biscuit or sweet if she thinks no one is looking. I ignore it because I think you need to pick your battles with kids,and food shouldn't be one of them!

Swoletobe

I believe that having a discussion about health in general is very important. Telling a kid "this is good for you" is insufficient. That way they understand why we eat or try to eat healthy food. Also, proportions + active time. Now a days everything is supersized and this is terrible for our health. Listening to our bodies tell us we are full and drinking water before meals helps as well. Play time use to mean playing outside for hours before it got dark. Kids were able to burn a lot of calories vs sitting watching a glowin screen most of the time accumulating more food. Parents have to lay the foundation.

mommarnurse

Idk, I mean, my 3 kids (ages 10 , 10, and 8) eat "junk food" but I think it's not too unreasonable (except that Brandon boy, he ate 5 chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven last night- I have to stop such good baking). When we cook, we rarely fry. We do not buy soda to store in the house. My kids drink a lot of water. Above all, they are pretty active. (sports, dance, playing outside, riding bikes, running around, etc.) But, the boys do play the ps4 daily. They all remain normal weight, the boys in particular are pretty slim and muscular. I guess their diets and activity levels must balance out. I think largely in part child obesity these days is probably due to increasing sedentary lifestyles of children combined with too much fast food and soda.

DearestWinter

Reading this thread made me think of my friend who has a 9 year old son who is very overweight. She doesn't restrict his food intake and he's allowed to eat whatever he wants but I think the bigger issue is that he's extremely sedentary and plays video games in his room for hours after school. He never plays outside. He never runs around inside or does anything active. If he's given the option of going out to socialize or staying at home to play video games then he chooses the video games. He has a 6 year old brother who's naturally very thin and energetic. The kind of kid who will eat all sorts of junk but will also stop halfway through a bowl of ice cream because he recognizes he's full or just gets distracted.

I haven't talked to my friend about this and I don't think it's appropriate for me to say anything particularly since I have no kids of my own. The situation makes me sad though. He's a really nice kid. I feel like his sedentary behavior and weight problems will lead to more trouble down the road.