Feeling intimidated at the gym?

Options
2»

Replies

  • mgalovic01
    mgalovic01 Posts: 388 Member
    Options
    You're just another fish in the bowl.
  • stephmph16
    stephmph16 Posts: 114 Member
    edited December 2016
    Options

    You never know. I was doing squats last night next to a middle aged lady, and she was struggling. I was giving her encouragement and she said "It's easy for you! You're young and have energy and have time to do this!" I politely corrected her "Actually, I'm 30, have 3 kids under 3, my fitbit says I've been up 6 times last night and I gave up around 4am, I've wiped little people's butts more times than I care to say and I'm pretty sure this is avocado on my shoe but I can't be certain. But have a nice workout."

    Everyone has their own mountains to climb. Maybe one of those ripped guys at the gym worked their butts off, lost a bunch of weight and are now on the other side of the hill.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Options
    stephmph16 wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Think of it this way, kiddo.

    Ripped guys wish they had a girlfriend like you most probably.... who knows what is going on in their heads. They sit on dating sites a la tinder and send shirt-less pics to women 24/7 and the response rate is only like 4/125 which is negligible and as they battle with their own insecurities.... here you are battling your own.

    You never know. I was doing squats last night next to a middle aged lady, and she was struggling. I was giving her encouragement and she said "It's easy for you! You're young and have energy and have time to do this!" I politely corrected her "Actually, I'm 30, have 3 kids under 3, my fitbit says I've been up 6 times last night and I gave up around 4am, I've wiped little people's butts more times than I care to say and I'm pretty sure this is avocado on my shoe but I can't be certain. But have a nice workout."

    Everyone has their own mountains to climb. Maybe one of those ripped guys at the gym worked their butts off, lost a bunch of weight and are now on the other side of the hill.

    this is an excellent point- you have no idea what anyone's life is like- I always make up stories about people- to explain why they are doing what they are doing- instead of just assuming the "worst" Maybe they have a blood disorder that makes them really tired- and this is all they can do? maybe they just had knee surgery? maybe they have never worked out EVER in their life?
    You literally- just never know.

    The guys who are ripped at my gym generally are younger single bucks- but guess what- they work really hard for what they have.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
    edited December 2016
    Options
    Those guys started somewhere, they weren't born that way. Four years ago, I certainly didn't look like a "gym goer"...but since then I've lost quite a bit of weight and now I look pretty fit and am pretty fit...everyone starts somewhere.

    Also, I'm pretty knowledgeable and know what I'm doing...I have a coach/trainer...having a PT has nothing to do with whether or not you know what you're doing. Likely, some of those same guys could benefit from having one as well...
  • samhennings
    samhennings Posts: 441 Member
    Options
    ceciliabeth94 wrote: »
    So I'm a 22 year old woman and I've recently begun to go to the gym regularly. I see a trainer 3x a week and I do weight training + cardio.

    My problem, and I know a lot of other girls feel this too, is feeling super intimidated around all these built guys who are also weight training. I know it's stupid, but I just feel out of place being the overweight short chick lifting 5lb hand weights and who needs to be guided by someone else because she doesn't know what she's doing on her own. In my head I think everyone is laughing even though I know that's absurd.

    Any tips on how to overcome this embarrassment? Thanks so much :)

    Just keep going, do what you do. Eventually you will find you are quite comfortable and at some point all those insecurities/embarrassment disappeared and you didnt even notice.

    In my experience people in the gym are usually so focused on their own work out they only really notice people who are distracting. Otherwise everyone is "in their own head" for the most part.

    Also, I find headphones/music a fantastic thing for shutting out everything else to focus on what I am doing.
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
    Options
    "but I just feel out of place being the overweight short chick lifting 5lb hand weights"

    Why do you think the gym has those five pound hand weights? To merely collect dust or have someone use them?
    Five pound hand weights, fine to use.
    Body weight exercise, also fine.
    Benching an empty bar? Gotta start somewhere.
    Goblet squat with a five pound weight, a step above body weight, go for it.

    If you have to judge yourself, base that judgment on your improvement rather than your comparison to others.

    I lift like I "race". The only person I have to beat (do better than) is my previous self.
  • Docbanana2002
    Docbanana2002 Posts: 357 Member
    edited December 2016
    Options
    I agree with the person who suggested you might be projecting your own insecurities and negative self talk on others. And with those who say it would be helpful to learn not to give a rip about what others think. :)

    Everyone around you at the gym was the newbie at some point and knows what that feels like to be in your place. Just because they appear to know what they are doing now in that section of the gym doesn't mean they actually do! Nor are they experts at every aspect of fitness. Nor have they always been experts at what they know now.... they all had to learn it and have a story just like you.

    As for myself, I go to the gym regularly and am mostly oblivious to others. Occasionally I people watch but it isn't judging, mostly just admiring what someone is wearing or how fit they look. Sometimes watching others on equipment I don't use or eavesdropping on a training session if it is happening right next to me because I'm hoping to pick up some free knowledge. The only time I notice people in a negative way is if they are doing something in an obviously incorrect way (in which case I worry about them and wish they'd get some proper training before they hurt themselves or someone/something else) or if they are violating rules or social norms of the gym in ways that inconvenience/annoy.

    You might start to hear some newbie hate around January, but that is less about people starting a fitness journey than it is about crowds at the gym. The annoyance is magnified toward those I described above who don't take some time to learn the ropes and rules and therefore create inconvenience or safety hazards to others. Or who appear to be looking for the quick fix (like those showing up here a mfp wanting to lose 50 pounds in 2 weeks with their magical detox shake and thinking that's a realistic life plan...these quick fixers are usually also the same ones who are throwing dumbbells around because they started too heavy for their fitness and walking the wrong way in the running lane of the track because they didn't bother to read the instructions). But someone starting a workout plan with the help of a trainer, someone clearly serious about learning the ropes and getting good advice? Nah, no critique about that. I respect that. Not just newbies use trainers, by the way. High level athletes also have trainers and coaches...and everyone in between, for a variety of reasons.
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
    Options
    Tip #1: Realize we all started there. The super yoked dude and the toned AF girl? They started off not knowing what they were doing at some point also

    Tip #2: You'll realize after you get super into fitness that the majority of the people at the gym (especially in the free weight section) are so focused on their work out that they aren't looking around judgingly because they don't care to or have time to. They just want to make every minute in the gym count and that means minding your own business

    Tip #3: Even the ripped people get intimidated sometimes. I've been lifting for a year-and-a-half and I still walk into other gyms and feel intimidated by a different crowd or by not knowing where anything is. You're already one step ahead because you have a trainer to show you the ropes.
  • rickc74
    rickc74 Posts: 416 Member
    Options
    Don't sweat it. The majority of people aren't thinking about you. Those who are are mostly thinking it's great that you are there. No matter what kind of shape you are in, someone is looking at you and wishing they had made it to where you are now. Some people are thinking about telling you that you are putting out a great effort, but they don't cuz they know it'd be weird.
    Just do your thing, and get the job done.
  • ceciliabeth94
    ceciliabeth94 Posts: 22 Member
    edited December 2016
    Options
    Wow this is getting so many replies. Thank everyone :)
  • swheate2014
    swheate2014 Posts: 22 Member
    Options
    Although I've spent many years in the gym next to those heavy lifting men and women, I've found that they are some of the nicest people in the world. I have many male friends in the gym, and through the years we joke, encourage, and support each other. I'd encourage you to see those strong, committed weight lifters just like brothers and sisters. Chances are they'd love to encourage you.
  • cgvet37
    cgvet37 Posts: 1,189 Member
    Options
    My focus is 100% on my training. I'm always willing to help others as well.

Categories