Does a more positive outlook/self-love help?

BlackRose278

I exercise way more than I should (about 5-6 times a week), I've lost fat, inches, and gained muscle. However, I still look very bloated and it seems I don't look almost any different from when I started.

I do have extremely low self esteem, and I don't feel good about myself. I have heard that changing the way you look at yourself does help you lose weight, so I was wondering if it does?

lemonychild

How long ago did you start? You have to allow your body to adjust to new changes... you have to be patient, and loving the journey, weight loss is not a punishment, health is not a punishment take it easy on yourself

jennifer_417

It can make it easier. I believe that anything we love, we tend to take care of, including ourselves.

Orphia

One of the best opening posts of a thread on MFP, by @elleelise :

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10201207/why-losing-weight-feels-so-effortless-for-me-this-time-around/p1

elleelise wrote: »

Former binge eater and experienced yo-yo dieter here (but luckily reformed after two hard years of work with an intuitive eating/body image counselor.)

In the past weight loss was such an epic struggle and always ended up in failure after two or three weeks despite being a discliplined and successful woman in all other areas of my life. However upon starting my weight loss journey in April (tracking as of June) I found that a couple of very important intentions and habits are making ALL the difference. I am 1.8 pounds from 15 lost and it makes my goal of 40 feel SO doable.

Here is what I've gleaned this time around. Take it with a grain of salt, or take it to heart if it resonates with you:

1. You gotta love yourself before you ever begin to weigh your food or track your calories. If your intention to lose weight comes from a place of self loathing versus self love, you are setting yourself up for failure and heartache. Yes, even if you are a size 26 and 350 pounds ladies. Negative emotions don't help. We (females) are inundated with a disgusting number of negative body messages on a daily basis, so it is easy to fall into a very unhealthy conversation with ourselves about our bodies. Even in my conditioning class my instructor recently tried to motivate us by saying "Think about how bikini worthy you'll be and push on!" At this point I raised my hand and explained that I am already bikini worthy and ready at a jiggly size 16, as were all the other women in the room. Enjoy life now and don't put it off until you reach a goal weight. Challenge these messages. Grow to appreciate yourself and want to care for yourself first. Took me two years to learn this and for me, it was the most important step, and the most challenging one.

2. Move first, track second. This may go against 99% of people here, but my argument for getting moving first is that restricting your calories doesn't always FEEL good intitially but movement does (at least for me...) Movement and being active boosts your mood and makes you feel strong and accomplished at any stage in your body. When you work out it also has positive ripple effects relating to nutrition, sleep, water intake. Healthy habits trump being in a smaller body except in extreme cases, so focus on habits and health first, weight/physical mass second in my humble opinion.

3. Don't overthink it. Track your food. Weigh what you can. Stick within your daily caloric targets 90-95% of the time. And have it come from a place of self love and compassion, not hatred and punishment. And if you strumble, no biggie. Don't punish yourself or make it mean more than it is.

4. Don't villiainize foods. Cookies are not bad. You are not "good" for eating kale. Being paleo or primal or "clean" isn't the holy grail. Strip these stupid food rules away. If you want a brownie, make it work for your calories. Every food has a place in a well rounded deficit and diet. Guilt has no place in a well rounded diet however.

5. Don't place time constraits on your weight loss journey. Be flexible, be patient and enjoy the journey instead of trying to rush to the finish line. In the past I would always set up specific goals relating to weight or measurements, and this would always contribute to a sense of disappointment and self hatred at "failing." Just don't do it. Plan to be here for a long, long time and find a way to love the process more than the product.

6. Notice if you are in a binge-guilt-restrict-lose weight-binge-guilt-etc... eating pattern. If so, it'll take more than yet another diet program or calorie counting goal to work through. Disordered eating is rampant in our society. I would argue that a huge population of people on these threads have disordered eating and are totally unaware. If you do suffer from negative body image, binge eating disorder, yo-yo dieting addition, obsession with food, the answer won't be weight loss and you should confront those inner deamons and psychological aspects prior to counting calories and trying to get leaner and smaller.

Just my two cents! Hope this helps someone.

afatpersonwholikesfood

+1 to the post Orphia quoted. I think coming from a positive place makes an enormous difference.

Running_and_Coffee

I can be extremely self-critical, but am a supportive mom/friend/wife. Someone once recommended that speak to myself the way I would my own children and that helps me with everything. So instead of telling myself i'm gross or whatever if I gain weight, I give myself a pep talk and remind myself how strong/smart etc. I am. It really helps.

kshama2001

Here's a great DVD that can help with negative self talk: You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version. It was available in my library system so maybe yours as well.

zyxst

It can help some people. I lost my weight with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and plenty of self-loathing.

endlessfall16

^^^
Yeah you can also lose weight from being very scared. It seems like everyone who just comes off a surgery does very well, at least for a while.

daniwilford

I wish there were as many posts about ways of thinking your way to a healthy weight, as there are about ways of eating yourself to a healthy weight.

genpopadopolous

Yes, I think it can.

I have made more progress in the last year than I did in the 2 before it. I used to tell myself I was lazy and stupid to let myself get fat, and so I was lazy and stupid about getting healthy.

For me, my change was weightlifting. Not even heavy at first- but I started seeing concrete progress, and fairly quickly. Then my progress pictures started showing differences, then workouts I couldn't finish I could crush.

Then I started being impressed and proud of what I accomplished. And realizing that kindness and gratitude toward my body got me a lot further than hating and resenting it.

It's a delicate balance for me still. A bad crappy run or a hard day with the weights and I'm back to feeling defeated about the whole process. I'm able to talk myself down now. I made an accomplishment board with my bibs, race pics, progress pics, best splits and goals so that I have a concrete thing to look at and see what I've done.

DebSozo

If you approach eating as a way to love and care for yourself instead of treating food as an enemy, then you can use that self love to eat responsibly to fuel your wondrous self.

diannethegeek

BlackRose278 wrote: »

I exercise way more than I should (about 5-6 times a week), I've lost fat, inches, and gained muscle. However, I still look very bloated and it seems I don't look almost any different from when I started.

I do have extremely low self esteem, and I don't feel good about myself. I have heard that changing the way you look at yourself does help you lose weight, so I was wondering if it does?

I can honestly say that, for myself, I could not stick to a weight loss plan until I took the time to love myself and my body the way it was, first. That won't be universal. Different people are motivated by different things. But for me, as someone who suffers from depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, etc. yes it helped me.

zyxst

DebSozo wrote: »

If you approach eating as a way to love and care for yourself instead of treating food as an enemy, then you can use that self love to eat responsibly to fuel your wondrous self.

Bolded is how I got fat.

BlackRose278

lemonychild wrote: »

How long ago did you start? You have to allow your body to adjust to new changes... you have to be patient, and loving the journey, weight loss is not a punishment, health is not a punishment take it easy on yourself

I've been on a different lifestyle and have been exercising a lot for over a year.