I Dated The Above and Ended Up...
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Waking up wearing a straight jacket in a padded cell....0
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Drinking alone....0
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Painting my face green0
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Green with envy...0
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Squandering my resistance for a pocketful of mumbles such are promises…0
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Trying to figure out what was in that drink last night...0
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Framed and in jail because he claimed it was me that put something in his drink 😤0
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Paying for her to go to culinary school...0
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Broke because our nest egg was wasted sending a giraffe to school0
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Co-sleeping with him and the giraffe. Apparently the giraffe needs to eat every two hours 😬0
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Always wondering why she lowered her expectations to be with me…0
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Singing YMCA during amateur hour at the Blue Oyster0
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A pescetarian..0
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Accidentally corrupting the Liszt by adding “bacon” to it0
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Having to wear a mask all the time 😷0
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Never having to wear lipstick..0
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Mumbling nursery rhymes in my sleep0
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Reading Green Eggs and Ham to him at bedtime0
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Wondering why I always craving green eggs and ham in the middle of the night...0
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In front of a judge0
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Having to throw out his Judge Judy VCR tapes.1
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Watching over my shoulder for the vindictive guy who is angry about some old VHS0
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Getting a tattoo of the Cheshire cat with her name underneath...0
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being creeped out by his cheshire grin...0
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Distracted by her perfect imperfections…0
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Tied up to a goal post wearing a Cowboys jersey in Philadelphia...my funeral is set for Wednesday0
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Single by Wednesday0
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Single by Thursday0
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In handcuffs....voluntarily 😜0
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