question - movie going etiquette
Motorsheen
Posts: 20,508 Member
Okay, so this week Trophywife and I go out to see a movie. I prefer to watch movies at home for a number of reasons but going out for a movie on the big screen is okay too.
The movie was The Arrival with Amy Adams. I only mention the title because it was a very visual experience (as opposed to a light comedy where the dialogue is more relevant than the visual) and is thus germane to the question.
We get to the theater early and we sit in the next to the back row. The theater is about half full (or empty depending on your personality type). I digress....
So the trailers are rolling and this older couple come tripping into the theater. Yes, they were tripping over his white cane with a red tip. The guy was blind. Okay, sheesh... no worries, it's your fifteen dollars; spend it however you like.
The man man is blind and his companion sits next to him and directly behind me. She starts talking... and talking... and talking. She is explaining every setting that appears on screen. Which makes sense, because the old dude is effin' blind.
Thing is, she's talking constantly. Trophywife doesn't realize the guy is blind because they walked into a dark theater and she didn't see them.
After about ten minutes of her constant talking, Trophywife politely, very politely, asks her to please stop talking; she doesn't. She keeps talking and talking. Remember, this is a visually striking movie so she is describing a lot (pretty much everything) to the blind gentleman.
After about 20 minutes, I nudge my wife and we move about 5 rows down. I don't say a word or make eye contact; neither does she. We just move. Problem Solved.
Okay, I understand the guy is blind and old and I wouldn't want to trade places with him for anything but it was annoying to a lot of other people sitting in their vicinity. It had to be.
At the end of the day, this is such a little thing. It's just a discussion of expectations. So...
What are your thoughts on this?
Do they have a right to visit the theater? (Of course they do.)
Should they have gone to the movies knowing that they would be annoying a few other people?
Was it rude of them to attend knowing that they would be a distraction? Why not wait a few weeks and watch it in the privacy of their own home on DVD ?
Should others around them be tolerant because of the gentleman's disability?
... or should there be an expectation of being able to enjoy the movie without distraction no matter the circumstance ?
How would you have handled the situation?
Discuss.
The movie was The Arrival with Amy Adams. I only mention the title because it was a very visual experience (as opposed to a light comedy where the dialogue is more relevant than the visual) and is thus germane to the question.
We get to the theater early and we sit in the next to the back row. The theater is about half full (or empty depending on your personality type). I digress....
So the trailers are rolling and this older couple come tripping into the theater. Yes, they were tripping over his white cane with a red tip. The guy was blind. Okay, sheesh... no worries, it's your fifteen dollars; spend it however you like.
The man man is blind and his companion sits next to him and directly behind me. She starts talking... and talking... and talking. She is explaining every setting that appears on screen. Which makes sense, because the old dude is effin' blind.
Thing is, she's talking constantly. Trophywife doesn't realize the guy is blind because they walked into a dark theater and she didn't see them.
After about ten minutes of her constant talking, Trophywife politely, very politely, asks her to please stop talking; she doesn't. She keeps talking and talking. Remember, this is a visually striking movie so she is describing a lot (pretty much everything) to the blind gentleman.
After about 20 minutes, I nudge my wife and we move about 5 rows down. I don't say a word or make eye contact; neither does she. We just move. Problem Solved.
Okay, I understand the guy is blind and old and I wouldn't want to trade places with him for anything but it was annoying to a lot of other people sitting in their vicinity. It had to be.
At the end of the day, this is such a little thing. It's just a discussion of expectations. So...
What are your thoughts on this?
Do they have a right to visit the theater? (Of course they do.)
Should they have gone to the movies knowing that they would be annoying a few other people?
Was it rude of them to attend knowing that they would be a distraction? Why not wait a few weeks and watch it in the privacy of their own home on DVD ?
Should others around them be tolerant because of the gentleman's disability?
... or should there be an expectation of being able to enjoy the movie without distraction no matter the circumstance ?
How would you have handled the situation?
Discuss.
0
Replies
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If we are being honest that would annoy me quite a bit. I get people have a right to go to the movies, but they should know that talking throughout a movie is a no no, and honestly they could get kicked out for doing so, regardless if the guy is blind or not. I would think if I was in that situation I would be considerate enough to watch it at home.. er have it described to me at home as to not bother others.1
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It's rude to talk in the movie theater loud enough to distract other people. Period. No exceptions for the blind.
My grandfather and OH's father were legally blind before their deaths and I wouldn't have taken them to the movies and narrated. Narration can take place at home.0 -
That would be annoying. If the theatre was not full why couldn't they have sat somewhere they wouldn't disturb people1
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That would be annoying. If the theatre was not full why couldn't they have sat somewhere they wouldn't disturb people
my thoughts too.
there was the vacant disabled row at the back of the theater.
maybe they didn't see it because all of the lights were down when they walked in. That being said, if you have special needs, why not show up 15 minutes earlier?
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I usually talk and make jokes during movies if its bad .. which is usually every time so I can't really say anything against them0
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It's rude, regardless of how long the film has been out. A cinema trip isn't cheap and then to not be able to hear it because of other people isn't fair. If it had been 2 sighted people talking what would you have done?0
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As the sister of a verbally, mentally, and physically handicapped lady, I will give a slightly different perspective.
She enjoys going to movies. Due to certain situations and struggles she can't go very often so I periodically treat her with the whole shebang: Trip out and about, movie, then dinner and home.
She loves it!! The entire trip and movie atmosphere. It's like Christmas morning to her...to see her smile ear to ear is worth every weird stare we get. After 40+ years of just going out in public and getting "the look" we expect it and try to ignore them.
She can be a little loud at times, but can't control it. If I worried about everyone being offended by her loud giggles or laugh, which we find adorable and love, she'd never leave the house, go in a restaurant, or experience something as simple as attending a movie in a theatre.
With the above being said: We are respectful to other attendees (believe it or not she doesn't enjoy the stares) and try to keep the distraction to a minimum. We want to see the movie too.
In general: Maybe they went because his care giver wanted to go but didn't want to go alone. Maybe they were out and about for the day and on a spur of the moment decided to see a film. Who knows. They wanted to go to the movies, like alot of people do. We don't know their situation or other limitations.
These things bother me most during a movie: using a cell phone light, kids playing a handheld game, cellphones ringing, answer calls, put your shoes on my seat headrest/kicking my seat, snore, stand up to go to the bathroom repeatedly, etc. If it bothers me enough, I will move.
Please be patient and understanding to the handicapped community. They have every right to attend a public function too.7 -
I honestly can't follow a movie in a theater, it seems like there's always too much going on to me to pay attention. Do people go to the theater to watch a movie anyway? I thought it was just for the experiance0
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It wouldn't bother me. Their lives might well be a hell that you can't imagine. One spoiled night for me could be one night that they will never forget.3
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It would bother me. I've no problem with a blind person having a movie explained to them but if that's what they're going to do, then they should respect the other patrons and sit far enough away from others so as not to be a distraction. It was a half-full theater, after all...0
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I probably wouldn't even notice unless someone would point it out to me. And if blind guy likes to pay all that money for bad popcorn and a film he can't see.. Then it's none of my business2
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LiftingLady5 wrote: »No this is a different situation. Theaters have special equipment for the visually and hearing impaired so that neither party needs to be inconvenienced or made to feel uncomfortable.
I understand they may have tools to assist with the couple viewing. OP asked if there was an expectation of enjoying the movie without distraction regardless of circumstances. My response was mostly directed to that part of the inquiry.1 -
CafeRacer808 wrote: »It would bother me. I've no problem with a blind person having a movie explained to them but if that's what they're going to do, then they should respect the other patrons and sit far enough away from others so as not to be a distraction. It was a half-full theater, after all...
half empty
..... dammit.1 -
I don't see this bugging me.
I go to the movies all the time. I've seen at least 20 films this year. I can't even tell you how much a movie costs or when the matinee time is versus the night time cost.
I just can't bring myself to be bothered by a blind man being described a movie. I just can't bring myself to care that much about him going to a film when I go all the time, can see them, and don't even know precisely how much they cost.2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »CafeRacer808 wrote: »It would bother me. I've no problem with a blind person having a movie explained to them but if that's what they're going to do, then they should respect the other patrons and sit far enough away from others so as not to be a distraction. It was a half-full theater, after all...
half empty
..... dammit.
You're so pessimistic...
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CafeRacer808 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »CafeRacer808 wrote: »It would bother me. I've no problem with a blind person having a movie explained to them but if that's what they're going to do, then they should respect the other patrons and sit far enough away from others so as not to be a distraction. It was a half-full theater, after all...
half empty
..... dammit.
You're so pessimistic...
well, it's worked pretty good for me so far.
..... I just don't expect it will much longer.4 -
I feel the blame is being placed in the wrong place here. The problem is neither that you and your wife wanted to watch the film in peace (reasonable), or that they wanted to go to the cinema (also reasonable).
The problem is that the cinema staff either did not provide the necessary equipment for the blind person to hear a description or did not direct the couple toward these facilities - the white cane was a pretty good indicator that this customer might require them.
The Disability Discrimination Act (UK, that is) requires businesses to make all reasonable modifications to permit disabled customers to utilise their service to the same extent as others. They are making money out of the tickets sales to both couples - they don't have the right to play customers off against one another, so that one party does not get the service that they paid for!4 -
Don't they have "crying rooms" over there?
There is one in the cinema near me and I believe in a lot of cinemas where if a child starts to cry or is having a tantrum mums can go to this soundproof room ..still watch the movie and their child doesn't bother anyone..
Providing there is nobody in it... (it's generally underutilised)
It would have been perfect for them..2 -
Salamander164 wrote: »I feel the blame is being placed in the wrong place here. The problem is neither that you and your wife wanted to watch the film in peace (reasonable), or that they wanted to go to the cinema (also reasonable).
The problem is that the cinema staff either did not provide the necessary equipment for the blind person to hear a description or did not direct the couple toward these facilities - the white cane was a pretty good indicator that this customer might require them.
The Disability Discrimination Act (UK, that is) requires businesses to make all reasonable modifications to permit disabled customers to utilise their service to the same extent as others. They are making money out of the tickets sales to both couples - they don't have the right to play customers off against one another, so that one party does not get the service that they paid for!
Yeah, we have the ADA law here but it's more driven towards h/c accessibility. The ADA law is only enforced thru litigation; there are no ADA police.0 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »Don't they have "crying rooms" over there?
There is one in the cinema near me and I believe in a lot of cinemas where if a child starts to cry or is having a tantrum mums can go to this soundproof room ..still watch the movie and their child doesn't bother anyone..
Providing there is nobody in it... (it's generally underutilised)
It would have been perfect for them..
Every room in our home is a crying room.
In fact, a couple are even deemed curl up into the fetal position in a dark corner and sob you eyes out.... room.3 -
I can't stand people who talk during the movie. You would think it's common sense/courtesy, but the last couple of times I've went to the theater, I sat in front of, or directly behind loud people. I don't mean laughing. I mean the overreacting scream at the top of their lungs, telling the people on screen not to do this that and the third, etc.
It's an annoyance that usually keeps me from going to the movies.1 -
ThatFloridaBoy wrote: »I can't stand people who talk during the movie. You would think it's common sense/courtesy, but the last couple of times I've went to the theater, I sat in front of, or directly behind loud people. I don't mean laughing. I mean the overreacting scream at the top of their lungs, telling the people on screen not to do this that and the third, etc.
It's an annoyance that usually keeps me from going to the movies.ThatFloridaBoy wrote: »I can't stand people who talk during the movie. You would think it's common sense/courtesy, but the last couple of times I've went to the theater, I sat in front of, or directly behind loud people. I don't mean laughing. I mean the overreacting scream at the top of their lungs, telling the people on screen not to do this that and the third, etc.
It's an annoyance that usually keeps me from going to the movies.
That's just it. I usually just watch at home on our big screen with big sound. That being said, some movies work great on the Big screen; this was one of those movies.
It's not the cost of going to the movies, it's the fact that there is usually some *kitten* stick ruining it for others.1 -
I'm assuming that that's why they sat far in the back. I would show understanding and just move! No big deal!
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Karb_Kween wrote: »I honestly can't follow a movie in a theater, it seems like there's always too much going on to me to pay attention. Do people go to the theater to watch a movie anyway? I thought it was just for the experiance
Sounds like the only movie you go to is the midnight showing of Rocky Horror.
Otherwise, what's going on that's distracting? People eating popcorn?0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »Karb_Kween wrote: »I honestly can't follow a movie in a theater, it seems like there's always too much going on to me to pay attention. Do people go to the theater to watch a movie anyway? I thought it was just for the experiance
Sounds like the only movie you go to is the midnight showing of Rocky Horror.
Otherwise, what's going on that's distracting? People eating popcorn?
..... that's not popcorn that they're eating0 -
FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »I'm assuming that that's why they sat far in the back. I would show understanding and just move! No big deal!
I understand your name now. You are fabulous (not just a pretty face).
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This is probably wrong, but I would have been more embarrassed by the wife (accidentally) chewing out a blind person.1
This discussion has been closed.
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