I feel weird when ppl talk about my weight loss
lady_ghost
Posts: 175 Member
You would think I would be proud but it makes me uncomfortable. I don't like all that attention. I think I still feel the shame of letting myself get so fat in the first place. I hated it when ppl talked about how big I got but I hate it more now when ppl go on about how thin I've gotten. Does this make sense?
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Replies
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Yes... Why are people making comments about your body? Tell them to stfu.5
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Chef_Barbell wrote: »Yes... Why are people making comments about your body? Tell them to stfu.
Yeah it's annoying even my mom brags to everyone who will listen about the weight I lost. I just don't want all that attention. Why is my weight even the topic at hand to begin with? Ugh6 -
That's life unfortunately.
And the funny thing is some people like it and some don't
If it bothers you speak up5 -
Depending on what's being said you could say something along the lines of "Thank you for the compliment but my body isn't up for discussion."4
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I went through this, I found it really distressing actually, sometimes I would cry. But I'm happy to tell you, eventually the comments start to tail off, when people get used to your new size. Hang in there!!7
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Most people who comment also want to lose weight like you and know how difficult it is. So they are complimenting a terrific accomplishment. Try not to look at it as a derogatory statement about your past size. They aren't looking at it that way in all likelihood.15
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Have lost large amounts of weight, and gained it all back more than a few times. When I start to look smaller I hated all the "good job" "oh you look so good" etc. Like oh well I guess I looked like poo before but now I am behaving and losing. Of course then when it turns around, and it happens over a number of years I get the look. Nothing is said but you can hear it loud and clear "awe you failed again". Makes me crazy. I am still the same person big or little, and at 62 I don't appreciate people telling me I am doing a good job just because I lose some weight. There is so much more to me. hmmmm.....8
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I hate it because it makes me the center of attention and I have to answer all sorts of questions without sounding like I should be hospitalized for an ED.4
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I have asked friends and family not to comment as in the past this has been my trigger to self sabotage5
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SEE, IT DOESNT BOTHER ME. I KNOW I LOOK NICE. IM PROUD OF THAT. AND IF EXPLAINING HOW I DID IT, HELPS SOMEONE TO SEE THEY DONT NEED PILLS OR SHAKES OR OTHER PSUEDO CRAP TO LOSE WEIGHT ON THEIR OWN ... I THINK THATS AWESOME.
sorry caps. not retyping it LOL0 -
I understand how you feel. I'm a teacher, so when I started losing weight in June 2015, I went back to work at the end of August 20 pounds down and everyone was shocked. The amount of focus on me was boggling. I hate the spotlight. Some people just complimented me, some people wanted advice, then there were the people that thought I was lying about it simply being "Stay active, count calories". When I kept losing, some people made it their business to comment that I should stop, that I no longer look womanly, that I have an eating disorder, etc.
Now that more time has passed, I get far less comments than before. Now all I get is the occasional "Oh, you don't eat things like cake" or "You're such a skinny minny" in passing or at luncheons and whatnot. It's just the last few same people that have to comment either because they have nothing else to say yet always feel the need to talk or they lack the motivation to focus on their own health. I just let it roll off, but it used to bother me a lot more because it feels so invasive. I guess because people see weight loss as fair game since the majority of the population could stand to lose weight but normally don't. If we ever said to someone "Oh wow, looks like you put on a good 15 pounds as of late!" there would be an uproar, but commenting on weight loss is okay.7 -
It could be worse. People who didnt know you when you were larger could make all those comments about being you being lucky to be slim or you having a fast metabolism or good genes.
When you've been restricting or just monitoring and being vigilant to stop at one treat etc.- its not luck, or genetics or metabolism, its self- control. Its gets very annoying.
Add to that for me being just under 5ft people are judgeing how much i eat, what size i wear and what i weigh aginst thier own 5ft4-6 standards and making comments. At my height, size 0/00 is in proportion and not too skinny. Grrrr...3 -
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I understand what you are saying, but take a moment and be proud of yourself! Accept the compliment then change the subject to something else.4
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When I meet an old chum who is still trying to wrap their head around my transformation, I smile and graciously accept the compliment. If I sense some lingering jealousy, I tell them it was very, very hard and it took years. It does not diminish my accomplishment that way and it also takes them off the hook.
Accepting compliments I believe is important towards body acceptance.
I don't tolerate diet advice or intrusive questions about how I did it. (Except on MFP. You guys get it). If asked directly I offer a minimum of information and change the subject.2 -
@ferderickt911 I've been asked if I have cancer. I smile and say, "No, it's all good!"3
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I don't like when people try to get into an in depth discussion about it with me but I'm not too bothered by random "wow, you look great" type comments. The only exception is with my mom. But she mentions it every single time she sees me and it's mostly stemming from jealousy and we have a very negative history in regards to her commenting on my weight so I'm extra sensitive to it.6
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I've had a few positive comments, a few statements "you've lost loads of weight" and just one "you need to stop now, you're too thin" (I weigh 10st and am a UK Size 12 FFS). I wouldn't expect someone to comment how fat I was so why acquaintances think it's ok to comment on my weight now, I'm not sure.2
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It makes sense. Everyone has their own comfort level when discussing their weight, weight loss or dietary beliefs.
The only thing that bothers me is when they ask "how I did it?". So I tell them the basics of CICO and they go on to spew the many myths that they hear about, read about etc...basically contradicting everything CICO stands for. So for not wanting to sound like a know it all, I just smile and change the subject.
Congrats and hope the pestering dies down6 -
@ferderickt911 I've been asked if I have cancer. I smile and say, "No, it's all good!"
I tell people I have Aids. Shuts them up nicely. But then again, I'm an *kitten*.9 -
I hate it too. Especially all of the comments about being too thin or looking anorexic. What the heck. I was 25 pounds above being considered underweight. I actually wanted to lose more. I started telling them my doctor is proud of me and says I am healthy and it's safe to lose more weight. I am not telling anyone this time about my weight goals, it's none of their business.4
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It does make sense OP. We're all different in what makes us comfortable or not.
I am personally neutral to compliments and comments. I feel no shame in having been obese before, and I am happy that I managed to lose and maintain a healthy size, and I don't care if people take note or not.
What does bother me are consistently mean and annoying comments like those mentioned above and on other threads here on MFP, but even then, I've learned to ignore people or return an equally mean comment.
If it makes you feel better, after my loss, people grew quieter, with perhaps only a handful of people who still might be annoying.ferderickt911 wrote: »Same old story to me, some people think i've been from in a serious disease thats why i lose weight, but seriously i never tell them im in a diet to confuse their suspicious minds lol
Lol. I feel so mean for doing so, but unless people explicitly address my weight loss, I don't say a word. Some people have never said a word about my weight loss, and some of them have indirectly tried to bring up my weight loss, but I never bite.0 -
It does make sense OP. We're all different in what makes us comfortable or not.
I am personally neutral to compliments and comments. I feel no shame in having been obese before, and I am happy that I managed to lose and maintain a healthy size, and I don't care if people take note or not...ferderickt911 wrote: »Same old story to me, some people think i've been from in a serious disease thats why i lose weight, but seriously i never tell them im in a diet to confuse their suspicious minds lol
Lol. I feel so mean for doing so, but unless people explicitly address my weight loss, I don't say a word. Some people have never said a word about my weight loss, and some of them have indirectly tried to bring up my weight loss, but I never bite.
Nice. Your confidence and self assurance is probably what is keeping people civil. Unless you were the one to bring it up, then it is obviously private information. "I'd rather not discuss it" is a fine reply to those who are nosy or pry --(or ignoring as you successfully do).
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Yes! It's gross and uncomfortable- especially when it's like a male co-worker or something. Eewww- why are we talking about this? I refuse to speak specifics too - if they ask how much weight I have lost I will either say some or a little. If they ask how I just say I am trying to eat a little better. Then I try and change the subject.1
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I've only ever gotten a couple of I-didn't-recognize-yous, a few you-look-greats, & one how'd- you-do-it. And that was enough.1
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I love it when people complement on an outfit I'm wearing or the shape I'm in for my age. For instance, I had on a cute dress the other day and got stopped several times by random people saying I looked adorable in it. I just smiled and replied, "Thank you very much!" It is fun to dress up once in a while.2
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I don't like it but I understand it is human nature to say something, and I can't change anyone else. I know I would be disturbed if nobody at all noticed, and that schism is human nature too. I don't know what exactly the right thing IS to say to someone who has lost tons of weight (what, pretend I don't notice a thing?) so I understand that they don't know, either.5
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Yes, I understand too. It's like I'm not doing it to get attention, I'm doing it to better myself. My biggest pet peeve is people saying "Kudo's to you." I don't know why - I just hate that phrase. And people would keep asking how much I lost. Why? Are we celebrating that I had that much to lose or that I lost it? Either way - again - that's not why I'm doing it.1
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