"I want to get in shape, unless it requires effort..."

CharlieBeansmomTracey

helena99716 wrote: »

I had a friend who'd regularly, every 2 months or so, ask about how I managed to lose weight. I told them about calorie counting and some exercises I did. That same friend would also show off with their trips to McDonald's... like 3 times a week. Last time they asked, I explained how jogging 2x a week doesn't make up for getting fast food 3x a week. Then they blamed their nutritionist and said that she isn't motivating them enough to eat healthy food. Like what is she supposed to do? Invent a carrot that tastes like a Big Mac? So I told them that I really don't care about their excuses because I'm not the one whose body they're treating badly. They read that message, and removed me from FB. Haven't heard from them since.
I get that I was probably too harsh, but it feels like they thought I was hiding some Super-Secret Magic Weight Loss Pill or something. Grr.

It's also annoying when people ask how I lost weight, so I say "by counting calories", and they instantly get defensive and tell me how they don't have the time for that, how it's too much commitment, etc. As if they're shooing off a phone salesman. Like, calm down, I'm not trying to sell anything. I was just answering your question. Sorry it takes effort, I guess?

but they could lose weight eating mcdonalds 3 x a week and only working out 2. as long as they were in a deficit they would have lost weight. everything in moderation though and if a person cant moderate then they may have to be a little more strict.

iWishMyNameWasRebel

It's really annoying to have an askhole in your life (one who keeps asking for advice but never takes it). I have to believe that part of the problem is their complete intimidation at how to measure a meal at all. I'm tempted to buy them one of those adult portion plates and a cheap scale, and say "here, I know how badly you want to do this because you ask me every 3 months what I'm doing, and if I figured this will help it be way less scary. You can either spend 15 minutes a day learning what a portion size looks like, or you can spend 15 minutes a day trying to find a closer parking spot that doesn't leave you winded."

rheddmobile

After watching me lose a bunch of weight, my mom asked me for my secret and I told her about MFP. She kept pretending to be interested for about three months but it was "too hard" to find and install the app. So I installed it for her. So then she was never at her computer when she wanted to log food, so I installed it on her iPad and phone. So then she couldn't figure out how to use it. (Mind you, she was still constantly pestering me for weight loss tips.) So I showed her exactly how to log food, and set up a goal to lose half a pound a week.

She shrugs and says, "Oh, that's way too many calories! If I ate as much as it tells me to eat I would blow up like a balloon!"

Well... no. She eats way more than she admits she does. Every day after her dance class she stops for a large fries. She's constantly talking about how some upsetting event made her buy chocolate. So I said, don't change anything about your diet, just log it for a week and see how it goes. Then if you need fewer calories than you are currently eating you will know how much to reduce it.

So another month passes and she doesn't log anything. Not one bite.

And yesterday she tells me she's going back to Weight Watchers because "I tried your way, and just like everything else, nothing I try ever makes me lose weight."

CharlieBeansmomTracey

iWishMyNameWasRebel wrote: »

It's really annoying to have an askhole in your life (one who keeps asking for advice but never takes it). I have to believe that part of the problem is their complete intimidation at how to measure a meal at all. I'm tempted to buy them one of those adult portion plates and a cheap scale, and say "here, I know how badly you want to do this because you ask me every 3 months what I'm doing, and if I figured this will help it be way less scary. You can either spend 15 minutes a day learning what a portion size looks like, or you can spend 15 minutes a day trying to find a closer parking spot that doesn't leave you winded."

my sister is like this then when I tell her what I do she tells me" I couldnt do that I like to eat" she makes it sound like I starve myself,which I dont. I told her then you dont want to lose weight and I dont starve myself. I still eat what I want,just less of it. she keeps saying how she wants to lose in her stomach area. so I tell her it cant be done unless she eats in a deficit and the fat will come off where it wants when it wants. she doesnt want to put in the work.she is out of shape and tried to join the volunteer fire dept because her boyfriend is a volunteer and she wonders why she failed the test.

shaumom

I wonder sometimes if our society primes people to assume there will be an 'easy' solution to a problem, no matter what it is. We can lose weight by this handy, dandy diet pill rather than exercising more or eating less. We can save the environment by recycling rather than doing more difficult things like using less and making less waste, etc...

Because the idea that there 'must' be an easier solution is touted all over the place, by gurus and experts and so on. It would really account for how many people want to know how something is done, but then shy away when it seems 'not' easy.


That being said, though, I really don't agree with some of the negative comments about people who don't follow advice, or who say it's too hard. That really presumes that most, if not all, of another person's situation is so similar to your own that you could know exactly what their weight loss experience is like.

Assuming that, because someone else doesn't do what I did, someone is 'not ready to make the change' or is lazy or just doesn't want to make the time? That doesn't seem very fair to the other person. I have no idea what their stressors in life are, what mental or physical challenges they have, nothing.

We don't all have the same amount of will power, we don't all have the same ability to problem solve, to plan, or to follow a plan (problems with executive functioning are pretty common, for example).

Heck, we don't all have the same physical reaction to lower calorie intake - eating the exact same calorie deficit, some folks don't feel all that hungry and some will feel starving, for example. It seems pretty unfair to say that the person who is starving is just 'not ready to change' when the person who doesn't fell all that hungry is finding it easier to change in the first place.

And as for 'if it's important, you will make the time.' That makes a huge assumption: that a person has enough time during their week for everything important, and they simply need to have better time management. And when that IS the case, then yeah, that's a nice reminder to make time for what's important. But it's not universally applicable, and acting like it is does others a disservice.

CharlieBeansmomTracey

shaumom wrote: »

I wonder sometimes if our society primes people to assume there will be an 'easy' solution to a problem, no matter what it is. We can lose weight by this handy, dandy diet pill rather than exercising more or eating less. We can save the environment by recycling rather than doing more difficult things like using less and making less waste, etc...

Because the idea that there 'must' be an easier solution is touted all over the place, by gurus and experts and so on. It would really account for how many people want to know how something is done, but then shy away when it seems 'not' easy.


That being said, though, I really don't agree with some of the negative comments about people who don't follow advice, or who say it's too hard. That really presumes that most, if not all, of another person's situation is so similar to your own that you could know exactly what their weight loss experience is like.

Assuming that, because someone else doesn't do what I did, someone is 'not ready to make the change' or is lazy or just doesn't want to make the time? That doesn't seem very fair to the other person. I have no idea what their stressors in life are, what mental or physical challenges they have, nothing.

We don't all have the same amount of will power, we don't all have the same ability to problem solve, to plan, or to follow a plan (problems with executive functioning are pretty common, for example).

Heck, we don't all have the same physical reaction to lower calorie intake - eating the exact same calorie deficit, some folks don't feel all that hungry and some will feel starving, for example. It seems pretty unfair to say that the person who is starving is just 'not ready to change' when the person who doesn't fell all that hungry is finding it easier to change in the first place.

And as for 'if it's important, you will make the time.' That makes a huge assumption: that a person has enough time during their week for everything important, and they simply need to have better time management. And when that IS the case, then yeah, that's a nice reminder to make time for what's important. But it's not universally applicable, and acting like it is does others a disservice.

well in my sisters case she doesnt want to take the time. she wants an easy fix and has asked me about different "quick fixes" I told her nothing like that work. she has to put in the work. then she says she doesnt have the time. for her she doesnt want to take the time. she years ago joined a gym when we had one. went 2 weeks and quit because she didnt see any change,she was also eating back a lot of calories because she thought she worked those off.

she cries and whines she wants to lose weight in one breath,but in another she poo poos what has to be done saying she cant do it as she likes to eat and wont starve herself. she thinks thats what you have to do(and its what she did 6 years ago). as for taking the time. it doesnt take much time at all to eat in a deficit. many just start eating less than they normally do and lose. if you have time for a meal you have time to eat less at that meal

seltzermint555

Bry_Fitness70 wrote: »

ritzvin wrote: »

Bry_Fitness70 wrote: »

I tried to really sell it Monday, explaining how I tracked my diet for just a few weeks and made just a few minor modifications that lead to a relatively painless 15lb drop within the first few months when I first started using MFP. I told him that I see him burning a lot of calories in the gym and that he can eat back some of those calories, so the prospect of a calorie deficit isn't as painful as it sounds. Nothing seemed to resonate with him.

So much this. Even just tracking for a short while, can pretty quickly put the spotlight on some pretty simple and painless things that are easy to fix for a significant change (even if they decide not to continue tracking). Things like: oh-oops..I'm eating about 3000 calories at the pub everytime we stop after a group run multiple times per week; or- those glasses of wine/beer added up to how much?!; or I ate how many calories habit snacking in front of the TV tonight; or that was how many servings of rice/pasta/cereal that I've been plating every time?!.

My problem was liquid calories. I was drinking a huge glass of sugary OJ, a large glass of milk, a regular Gatorade, etc., every day (sometimes multiple times per day). By tracking I found out that I was getting plenty of vitamin C and calcium from a daily multi-vitamin pill and other dietary sources and replaced these with more satiating calories from solid food. That alone probably allowed me to drop 200-300 calories a day without feeling more hungry.

Yes to all of this! I have a friend who really struggles with losing weight and she's 100% closed off to the idea of tracking her food. She tells me about how she orders from the Light/Fit/Diet whatever menu or how she's "really good" and gets just a salad, and then she details the number of frozen margaritas she had and how yummy the milkshakes are at X restaurant.

Idle_Moon

That person is me!

It's crazy, because I've lost weight while counting calories. I knew this was working. But I got sick of it and when I gained a lil weight back, I started looking for different ways. I've tried different pills. Sure, they've helped surpressing appetite but I kept on eating. Now I'm back at counting calories and getting results again.

My boyfriend says: "I like food too much.", and I think that's why alot of people (including me) don't want to count calories to lose weight. We want that daily big egg + bacon breakfast and pizza dinner with lots of cookies, while losing 2lbs every week.

yirara

I have this discussion quite often as well. Usually from those that jump on every fad diet out there, or eat salad leaves for most of the morning and then grab a big bag of crisps in the afternoon. People just don't realise how fast calorie counting is. I made fried rice for three nights yesterday. Started with the veggies, put on scale, put into app, cut. Then the meat. I know how much oil and spices I'd be using approximately, thus filled up the rest with rice. Cooked rice, cooked all the rest, mixed. Done. Recipe said: 1700kcal. Divided into 3 servings and then divided items in diary by 3. Total weighing time for 3 days of food: about 5 minutes. People just don't understand it is that easy. (yes, I could have used the recipe builder, but I always vary this dish a lot).