How to Cope with Dad's HORRIBLE Diet

24

Replies

  • darkenergie
    darkenergie Posts: 27 Member
    There are so many ways to accommodate for this weekly dinner issue. You can choose a small light side dish instead of a meal if you feel like you need to eat while there, or eat lighter that day/ rest of the week to still stay in your calorie goals, no exercise needed. A weekly cheat dinner is not to blame for a 25 lb weight gain unless you are going for the most calorific meal on the menu, and licking the plate clean.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Good grief. Eat a whole egg and some toast and enjoy the visit.
  • crzycatlady1
    crzycatlady1 Posts: 1,930 Member
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    ZenZeta wrote: »

    So... should I just let the healthy thing go and suffer through the unhealthy diner food EVERY week? BLECK!!!!!

    Yes. This is time with your dad that one day you will remember fondly. Hopefully, you will not regret not spending time because of a once a week meal.

    Edited because of funky grammar.

    This. Just get something like plain toast to go with your coffee and then enjoy the time with your dad :)
  • Ryokat
    Ryokat Posts: 168 Member
    If you really can't find anything smothered in butter or grease, then just order the fruit cup. It's $3, I think you can manage.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    Madwife2009 wrote: »
    I disagree with the other replies; if you don't want to eat the food there, then don't eat it. Have your coffee and tolerate the comments/looks. Why should you eat something that you don't want to? I wouldn't, that's for sure, Dad or not. It's your body and you get to choose what you put in it.

    I agree. I've stopped the practice of eating food to make someone else happy. It's not just the extra calories, it's the way I feel when I eat to please someone else. I want to use my calories to please myself. Personally, I wouldn't eat anything I didn't want to eat. People around me are coming to accept that I'm just going to say no unless I want it.

    I understand your frustration at not getting the restaurant to prepare your food the way you want it, but trying again seems like the best bet.

  • cnbbnc
    cnbbnc Posts: 1,267 Member
    I went through this with my own dad for several years. Once a week I would get to take him out for lunch...always his choice since it was his only outing. If food choices were limited for me (usually the case) I would either eat that as my main meal for the day or just get something small as was already suggested.

    Seriously...just go...let him have fun...and enjoy the time with him. My dad has progressed to the point that I can't take him out at all anymore which saddens me.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    Ahhh I LOVE diners when I'm in a deficit. So easy to get what you want. I order two garden salads, a side of bacon, mix them together with hot sauce.
  • Strawblackcat
    Strawblackcat Posts: 944 Member
    Why not just get coffee and the $3.00 fruit cup? If you want a light meal, that seems like a better option to me than ordering a meal that you don't sound like you want, and would probably end up spending more than $3.00 on.
  • sunburntgalaxy
    sunburntgalaxy Posts: 455 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I wish my dad was still around for me to join him once per week at a greasy dinner...I'd kill for that.

    When I'm 86 I pretty much plan to do what I want and I'd hope my kids would just play along 'cuz at that point baby, it's borrowed time.

    Agreed on this - I used to go to dinner with my dad once a week before he passed away 13 years ago, sometimes to a diner. I would give anything to have that back again even if I had to eat diner food. I would find a way to fit it in. He is 86 - let him be happy and just enjoy your time with him while you have it. Not all of us are that lucky.
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,701 Member
    hollyrayburn wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    CooCooPuff wrote: »
    I had to stay in a facility with seniors for a few weeks and all of my meals were from them. It was SUCH a downgrade from the hospital I had just come from. I wouldn't care what anyone said, I'm not eating that food again unless I'm in one of those homes for good.

    You can talk to your dad with just a cup of coffee.
    It's NOT the facility food being discussed here though.
    And as mentioned, one day of CRAP food shouldn't derail consistency.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png


    @ninerbuff, I was thinking the same thing. If one higher calorie meal details you so much, you gain, the rest of your meals for that week need to be evaluated as well.

    I wanna know what's so wrong with bacon and eggs? Cause I eat that like, 3 times a week.

    Me too. Fried in butter
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Two fried eggs and two strips of bacon with hot tea.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    Make it work
    There will be something in that place you can tolerate
    Otherwise fruit cup and coffee it is
    Ask to butter your own bread, and really surprised you can't have a boiled egg
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    edited January 2017
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    CooCooPuff wrote: »
    I had to stay in a facility with seniors for a few weeks and all of my meals were from them. It was SUCH a downgrade from the hospital I had just come from. I wouldn't care what anyone said, I'm not eating that food again unless I'm in one of those homes for good.

    You can talk to your dad with just a cup of coffee.
    It's NOT the facility food being discussed here though.
    And as mentioned, one day of CRAP food shouldn't derail consistency.

    This. And it's not even one whole day, it's just one single meal.

    My mom lived with us for the last ten years of her life until she recently passed away at 93. Her dietary preferences and needs were a lot different that what the rest of the family eats/prefers to eat. I found ways to accommodate her preferences without compromising her health - or ours.

    If she wanted something for dinner that didn't fit what I needed (calorie-wise) I either made her a separate meal or else made it for everyone and just ate less of it.

    Now that she's gone , I still get a twinge every time I'm in the grocery store and pass by things on the shelves that I used to get just for her. :(

    tl;dr - OP: Enjoy this time with your dad. Because you won't give the food there another thought after he passes. But you will miss that time you shared with him each week, and you will realize at that point how unimportant the food element was. :)
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I am also enjoying my end of life time with my dad. I'm soaking in the moments, savouring the conversations.

    I vote for dry toast and coffee, and endure (enjoy) the ragging from dad. "You eat what you want, dad, and I'll do the same. Deal?"
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,300 Member
    I still want to know what is so bad with a whole egg and some toast? I have that quite often as a meal (any meal really) and my eggs are cooked in butter.
  • Heartisalonelyhunter
    Heartisalonelyhunter Posts: 786 Member
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    3.00 for a fruit cup is also a normal price. Is it supposed to be a buck?

    I was thinking that. It's actually pretty cheap. A fruit cup in chick fil A costs more than that!
    OP try and think about making someone you love happy rather than complaining about what you do or don't put in your stomach once a week. One is much more important than the other
  • hollyrayburn
    hollyrayburn Posts: 905 Member
    comptonelizabeth wrote: »
    hollyrayburn wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    CooCooPuff wrote: »
    I had to stay in a facility with seniors for a few weeks and all of my meals were from them. It was SUCH a downgrade from the hospital I had just come from. I wouldn't care what anyone said, I'm not eating that food again unless I'm in one of those homes for good.

    You can talk to your dad with just a cup of coffee.
    It's NOT the facility food being discussed here though.
    And as mentioned, one day of CRAP food shouldn't derail consistency.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png


    @ninerbuff, I was thinking the same thing. If one higher calorie meal details you so much, you gain, the rest of your meals for that week need to be evaluated as well.

    I wanna know what's so wrong with bacon and eggs? Cause I eat that like, 3 times a week.

    Me too. Fried in butter

    You say that likes there's any other thing to fry an egg in.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    ZenZeta wrote: »
    So my dad is 86 years old, and I recently had to place him in an Assisted Living facility. Since bringing him to live with me 2 years ago, I have put on 25 pounds! Caregiving takes an enormous toll on a person mentally and physically, and the burden of making multiple meals and trying to squeeze in time for the gym was too much.

    So I have started exercising again and working out, but I still have one HUGE dilemma. Dad has adopted a weekly habit of visiting a local greasy diner every Saturday morning. This was a place I would visit on a cheat day, but I'm not a fan of eating there every week. In addition, it's not easy to get healthy food there.

    I've tried to order a veggie egg white omelet on wheat toast and after SEVERAL trips to the kitchen (why is this confusing), I still end up with a greasy, overcooked, buttery mess. The place does not serve oatmeal nor are they willing to boil me an egg so I can just eat the whites, and they charge me a ridiculous amount for the modifications or anything healthy ($3 for a small fruit cup? No thank you).

    Dad is pretty stuck in his ways and makes it known how AWFUL I am if I just have coffee, so my only other option is to attempt to bring in my own food, but I think that's against the law, and I've already had eyes rolled at me when I brought in my green juice.

    So... should I just let the healthy thing go and suffer through the unhealthy diner food EVERY week? BLECK!!!!!

    This is your 86 year old dad. I suggest spending the time with him at that diner, not allowing his comments about your dietary plan bother you, and just be you. You could even save some calories up for that special breakfast with dad too, or eat a small amount before and have just toast and coffee at the diner.

    I dunno, I kind of think the diner is more about the time spent together rather than the food involved. His diet may seem horrible to you, but it's what's sustained him for all those years. :)
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    edited January 2017
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I wish my dad was still around for me to join him once per week at a greasy dinner...I'd kill for that.

    When I'm 86 I pretty much plan to do what I want and I'd hope my kids would just play along 'cuz at that point baby, it's borrowed time.

    This is Grandpa and me, who has been gone for five years. He died at 95, and I spent plenty of time at funky eating places because it was the time that was important, and not the food.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    edited January 2017
    manderson27 wrote: »
    My mum is 93 I do WHATEVER she wants, if it makes her happy I will eat a the cream cake she bought specially for me (even though she knows I am trying to lose weight), I will sit with her while she has a cigarette even though I have quit. I will go to the shops she likes and drink the coffee even though I begrudge the price. Anything she wants she gets, she is my mum and I love her. And when she goes I don't want to ever think...I wish I had done more.

    Eating crap with your dad is only one day so just enjoy it. Keep trying with the food but don't fret too much if it is not quite what you want.

    My dad died 30 years ago I would give anything to spend some time eating crap with him again. Cherish each moment and to hell with the food.

    I wish my mom was still alive, and it's been 32 years since she passed. I would love to spend time in one of the funky diners with her.
  • loveshoe
    loveshoe Posts: 361 Member
    Order something your dad likes, eat a few bites and bag up the rest for him to take with him. He's 86, it's not worth the frustration. You could also order water and the $3 fruit cup.
  • fitmama282
    fitmama282 Posts: 36 Member
    I would just eat something before you go & drink coffee with dad. Don't worry about dad's comments or looks from people, that's your business not theirs.
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I wish my dad was still around for me to join him once per week at a greasy dinner...I'd kill for that.

    When I'm 86 I pretty much plan to do what I want and I'd hope my kids would just play along 'cuz at that point baby, it's borrowed time.

    Yep my dad died when I was 13. I would eat a plate of dog crap to have a meal with him.

    Enjoy the time with him. Don't obsess with the food
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