Gym "friend" drama, need opinions

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  • newbie3122
    newbie3122 Posts: 480 Member
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    I honestly did not read all of your original post

    But I saw several red flags...

    Stay safe OP ;)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    kschwab0203 wrote: »
    Accepting her friend request does not necessarily mean you have to be BFF's with her. If you want to be polite, go ahead and accept the friend request. As far as rekindling a friendship with her, I'd have my guard up and keep things very short and sweet.

    I agree with this.
  • jenneemally
    jenneemally Posts: 50 Member
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    I didn't have the same situation, but I once lost a friend because she hurt me. Almost a year later as well she sent me a friend request on FB. I gave in accepted apologies and guess what? Not too many months later she pulled the same kind of *kitten*. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because we all make mistakes. And I know I'm not perfect. Unfortunately for me it bit me in the *kitten* once again...the good thing I got closure and confirmation that she's just a shittt person. So there's that. I no longer had doubt wed never be friends again. Good luck girl.
  • jenneemally
    jenneemally Posts: 50 Member
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    jenneemally wrote: »
    I didn't have the same situation, but I once lost a friend because she hurt me. Almost a year later as well she sent me a friend request on FB. I gave in accepted apologies and guess what? Not too many months later she pulled the same kind of *kitten*. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because we all make mistakes. And I know I'm not perfect. Unfortunately for me it bit me in the *kitten* once again...the good thing I got closure and confirmation that she's just a shittt person. So there's that. I no longer had doubt wed never be friends again. Good luck girl.

    Kitten is supposed to mean *kitten* hahahaha I'm dead
  • nolan44219
    nolan44219 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    km8907 wrote: »
    I would accept, only because you said your door was open. You don't have to talk to her and it'll make gym time less awkward.

    This^^

    I really didn't need to read past this part to see this going south...

    "Now...I HATE MLMs. They truly infuriate me. I think they are predatory and vampiric and shady as hell, and I feel that sales and profits of weight loss shakes in particular depend on the ignorance and desperation of overweight people who just don't know any better. Being a college nutrition major, seeing these shakes take the place of real food just gets under my skin in a way that I can't even articulate"

  • molnica019
    molnica019 Posts: 5 Member
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    I'm not gonna accept her request, it's like an immature. But hey, I can't stand the feeling; well it hurts. Once you were best friend. Now you have that excruciating feeling back when you get to see her life again. We might meet someday in the gym or our kid want to play with each other; that's fine. As long as it's not every single day.

    I'm kinda trying to avoid people who hurt me. Once you gave them all you have, trying to apologize for the mistakes that you didn't mean to hurt them. And all they did just ....just walk away...cut me out...is that easy? And I'm just so freaking invisible ? Like that? Nuh I'm done with it.

    Sorry I just get into this best friend relationships too much. Well it reminds me.

    Everyone has thier own way to deal with it. I hope you find one.


    With love :)

  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    She is obviously 7 gallons of crazy in a 5 gallon bucket. Why would you want to deal with that mess once you know about it?
  • 2pontificate
    2pontificate Posts: 4 Member
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    I will tell you the same thing I tell my kids...."You cannot make "old" friends." You blew it when you dissed her business product; She blew it when she over-reacted. The relationship may never recover to its original intensity, but you have dozens of "old" friends who aren't as important to you today as they once were. Retain the friendship and let it evolve.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I would accept the friend request and see where it goes but not expect bff.
    She may be reaching out because of the kid's friendship or maybe regrets her actions.

    I had a close friendship crash when friend got involved with some stuff, took advantage, was thoughtless, got mad at me saying something wasn't okay, etc. No contact. A few years later I got a FB friend request. The friend really hurt me but she apparently was in a different place in her life at last. I accepted and we are friendly now but not close friends like we were. Sometimes you can't get that back.
  • MaybeLed
    MaybeLed Posts: 250 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    @kbmnurse wrote: »
    To long, sorry.
    Why is this necessary?

    If it's long why are you here?

    Your only intention is to offend the writer for taking the time and effort for a personal issue, and you want to let the writer know you would like to offend her. How did it feel inside?? Does it provide immense satisfaction to piss on someone's effort?

    I've seen it a few times with that user, just chips in to tell someone they can't spell, or they have bad grammar. Fortunately they normally get flagged and deleted.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,996 Member
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    PokeyBug wrote: »
    JMO, but I've seen a LOT of people get sucked in by the MLM scams and basically believe in something so much that they're willing to trash friendships or relationships with family over it. That doesn't make it right, but it does happen. I know that this is different, but I draw parallels between that and my brother's addiction. He was so into cocaine that he let it ruin his marriage and his relationship with our dad and mom until the day he saw clearly what it was doing to him.

    That's when HE reached out to us, and we could have said, "No, you trashed our relationship. Deal with the results." Instead, we forgave him (even his ex-wife, but she'd already moved on to a new relationship, so she's someone else's SIL now, even though they're friends). People are going to screw up. I think when you said what you said about her shakes (I'm guessing Beach Body?), it was like you'd burned the Koran in front of a Muslim or the Bible in front of a Christian.

    Okay, maybe not that dramatic, but you said her life basically centered around this worthless product, so I'm guessing that's pretty close. You accidentally damaged the friendship by being a friend and telling her what she needed to hear. Then, she damaged the friendship by going ape**** with her denial. Maybe she's not into the MLM crap anymore, maybe she finally realized that it is, in fact, crap. Give her a chance. No, things will never be like they used to be. She'll have to earn your friendship again if she wants it. But your posting this, looking for advice tells me that a part of you still cares about her. See if she wants to talk about what happened and clear the air. Maybe you need this just as much as she does?

    I'd forgive a relative over drug use but dump a friend.

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