Be my relationship role model!

AdamAthletic

I consider it my contribution to society to never give relationship advice! Lol

Just.. be kind on yourself!
A relationship based on mutual respect is the best kind!

distinctlybeautiful

djeffreys10 wrote: »

Both of you take the five love languages quiz. Determine yours and his love language, and show affection in that manner. For me, touch me. Let me hold your hand, put my hand on your leg. Rub my arm. Sit as close as possible and lean on me. Whatever, just be in physical contact with me. But that may just annoy the *kitten* out of someone with a different love language.

I was going to mention the love languages too. Not only does it help you show love in a way they understand and desire, it can also help you recognize when they're trying to show love in a way that's not your primary language. For example, if your love language is touch and your partner's is acts of service, you can start to recognize that when your partner cleans the house for you, your partner is showing love.

FairhavenDS

I've never been married, but one thing that's worked for me in long-term relationships is something my dad shared. "Keep short accounts." Resolve issues as best as the two of you are able in a timely manner, don't let them linger for years until they stack up into bitterness and resentment. And if there are things you just can't resolve in the moment no matter how hard you try but they aren't deal breakers, have a radical acceptance with yourselves that it is what it is, and forgive and move on. My own experience with hanging on to past hurts is it's kind of like putting on colored glasses. Once they're on, everything they do is seen through that filter.

Another is making sure your worlds aren't four-walls-big. If you both get out and do things together, have friends to spend time with (both together and separately), have activities in and out of the house, and basically have a bit of diversity of where you spend your time and energy and with whom, then any one issue affects only part of your "world" instead of most or all of it. They might be a big part, and it can still be a let down, but it puts issues in their proper place instead of going all Manifest Destiny on your mood/attitude.

unrelentingminx

Having escaped from a dismal relationship last year and now being in a much more satisfying and happy relationship, I'd say this:
- Talk as respected equals. Don't shout over one another in an argument and for pity's sake don't tell one another to 'hush' or 'shut up' - nothing gets the blood boiling faster.
- Keep in contact. When you are together, even if you are doing separate activities, a short stroke of the arm or kiss on the forehead lets that person know you are thinking of them. When you are apart, text or call one another but not every two minutes. Just a few times that tells your partner 'I was thinking of you just now.'
- Be honest with each other. Respect and trust go straight out the window if you look your other half in the eye and tell them an outright lie.
- Show interest in one another's interests. You don't have to love all the same hobbies and activites as each other if you have at least some in common, but do show interest in their hobbies that aren't yours. Don't dismiss them.
- Ask for what you want in bed. No one is a mind reader.
- If you are dining out, offer to split the bill. If he insists he pays, let him if you want. If you do split the bill, thank him for offering to pay for the whole bill.
- Make plans. Not just for tomorrow or at the weekend. Plan things together for next month, next year, the year after. It reinforces that you're both in this for the long run.
- Recognise that you will both need 'me time.' Sometimes people just need to be alone for a bit and that's ok. It's no reflection on the other person and they shouldn't feel offended when it happens.
- Laugh, joke and be silly together.

Theo166

Just be whatever he want's you to be
(that was a joke, unless you are into role playing)