Gym Instructor won't leave me alone.

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  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    Here's a bit of a different way to handle it. It's a bit passive aggressive, but may get the point across without conflict. Go in one day and arrange to work with a FEMALE PT. Tell her that the other guy thought you were lifting wrong but you wanted advice from a female so is there something you need to fix on your form. You can mention that you felt a little creeped out by him if you want to.

    Then if he sees you a different day and tries to correct you, you can fall back on so and so said this was how to do it. Plus, if there is something wrong with your form, you can get it addressed in a safer way (the guy could be correct, but a douche).

    But, in my mind you need to do something about it as it sounds like it will keep you from going back. If you don't then you will be looking for a different gym soon.

    The problem with changing gyms is that there are always unpleasant situations to resolve---that's life. Better to learn how to handle people like him.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Talk to management. They have an employee ignoring clinets medical limitations and injuries. You could get hurt and that would be a problem for their business. You feel harrased and uncomfortable by his attention. They should know these things about an employee.
    If he comes up to you tell him you do not want his help or attention and want him to leave you alone from now on. I would not say please or thank you. Stop and stare at him until he leaves.
  • maranarasauce93
    maranarasauce93 Posts: 293 Member
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    I like the "pretend I can't hear anything" approach. Put on headphones and if he comes over to you just pretend you can't hear or notice him over music. If he still pesters you then he's a dbag! But headphones are definitely a signal to be left alone.
  • fitbethlin
    fitbethlin Posts: 162 Member
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    Sometimes I have a hard time being aggressive on my own behalf, but I can do it for others. If that's you, it pays to remember that you are probably not the only one feeling uncomfortable. Your complaint may be the one that finally gets management to act. Or it might be the one that validates it when sometime else comes up with the same concern next week or next month.
  • VioletRojo
    VioletRojo Posts: 596 Member
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    If you've already told him to leave you alone, go to management asap. If you haven't yet told him to leave you alone, start there. Using your words, "1 know what I'm doing, so I just want to be left alone."
  • FreyasRebirth
    FreyasRebirth Posts: 514 Member
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    But, in my mind you need to do something about it as it sounds like it will keep you from going back. If you don't then you will be looking for a different gym soon.

    The problem with changing gyms is that there are always unpleasant situations to resolve---that's life. Better to learn how to handle people like him.

    You could go to management, remind them you've been a long-time member, tell them how he is harassing you, and tell them that your friends are saying you should switch gyms. Depending on management, many companies have a very strong focus on retention. Throw in a little negative advertising and a manager with sense will make sure you two never cross paths again.
  • rdl81
    rdl81 Posts: 220 Member
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    The guy has only just started there things might have been different where he was before. He might think he is trying to help or more likely get a client. Have you made it clear to him you you don't want his advice it seems like you maybe too nice to do that so have listened to him hoping he will go away and now he thinks you want it. I would try and make it clear you are ok doing your own thing either by saying thanks I am just in middle of this set etc I will ask if I need help or say I can only do things in a certain way my dr advises. Unless you have made it clear to him his advice is un wanted and he is persisting i think going to management is really unfair
  • sunburntgalaxy
    sunburntgalaxy Posts: 455 Member
    edited January 2017
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    The next time he approaches you tell him to stop harassing you or you will report him to management, And then if he keeps it up follow through and report him.

    I just did my annual harassment training at work today - this is basically the same thing they say to do.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    "Oh, no thank you. I've got my routine down. Maybe someone else could use your expertise."
  • sarko15
    sarko15 Posts: 330 Member
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    Any unsolicited advice about your crotch should be a hard no, sorry. Tell management, please. Sounds like sexual harassment and that should not be left unreported. You are a patron of the gym and a human being, if you feel embarrassed that's a HUGE red flag.
  • rdl81
    rdl81 Posts: 220 Member
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    Azdak wrote: »
    rdl81 wrote: »
    The guy has only just started there things might have been different where he was before. He might think he is trying to help or more likely get a client. Have you made it clear to him you you don't want his advice it seems like you maybe too nice to do that so have listened to him hoping he will go away and now he thinks you want it. I would try and make it clear you are ok doing your own thing either by saying thanks I am just in middle of this set etc I will ask if I need help or say I can only do things in a certain way my dr advises. Unless you have made it clear to him his advice is un wanted and he is persisting i think going to management is really unfair

    Did you read the OP? She stated that she has told him no on two separate occasions. I think she has made herself abundantly clear.

    If he is indeed a good guy just getting his signals crossed, then it would be to his benefit to have a manager communicate that to him before he alienates every other potential female client in the gym.

    Yes I did read it......both times she ended up doing the exercises he showed her not "abundantly clear" to me she made it clear to him....I am not saying this guy is right in his approach but getting someone fired because you haven't made it clear you don't want their help isn't right either. Some people don't get subtle.
  • sarko15
    sarko15 Posts: 330 Member
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    You are a kind person. I would raise a sheetstorm that some people would almost get fired. My experience with this was in an Equinox where a trainer was getting to sign me up for Equifit and personal training. Second time I was a little buggered with the unsolicited advice. Third time, I went an a tirade, his manager came to me and apologized. He disappeared for a week. He came back and would never be in the same area as I was.

    You are not being helped. You are being harassed. Stand up for yourself and talk to the management.
    Not disagreeing with your comment about her being kind, but making excuses for a harasser shouldn't be considered "kind," I'm sorry. It might not look like he's doing it to anyone else, but he probably is. All these creeps do. By reporting him, you might also be helping another woman at the gym who also feels mortified by this man. Don't be kind or make excuses for this man, because regardless of his reasons, they're inappropriate. If I were a member of your gym and saw that, I'd go right up to him and yell in his face to leave you alone, honestly.
  • rdl81
    rdl81 Posts: 220 Member
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    sarko15 wrote: »
    You are a kind person. I would raise a sheetstorm that some people would almost get fired. My experience with this was in an Equinox where a trainer was getting to sign me up for Equifit and personal training. Second time I was a little buggered with the unsolicited advice. Third time, I went an a tirade, his manager came to me and apologized. He disappeared for a week. He came back and would never be in the same area as I was.

    You are not being helped. You are being harassed. Stand up for yourself and talk to the management.
    Not disagreeing with your comment about her being kind, but making excuses for a harasser shouldn't be considered "kind," I'm sorry. It might not look like he's doing it to anyone else, but he probably is. All these creeps do. By reporting him, you might also be helping another woman at the gym who also feels mortified by this man. Don't be kind or make excuses for this man, because regardless of his reasons, they're inappropriate. If I were a member of your gym and saw that, I'd go right up to him and yell in his face to leave you alone, honestly.

    Wow! So you assume he only talks to women and not guys?!

    Here is bombshell he works in a gym as a gym instructor it's his job to instruct/help the gym members and sell pt he needs to talk to "people" to do that.

    If you made it very clear your not interested then I agree with everything above if you haven't then you should make it crystal clear once and then if he does it again then complain.

  • cruztacean1964
    cruztacean1964 Posts: 4 Member
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    My gut feeling is that he's flirting with you, but I could be way off base. If you don't feel you can tell him to his face to back off or you'll file a complaint (I couldn't, myself) then maybe just go ahead and file it.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    Machka9 wrote: »
    Try ... "Thank you very much for your suggestions ... now leave me alone."


    i like this one the best, so far. this is bullying, and it should stop.