How do you get through discouragement?

Lovetheo
Lovetheo Posts: 7 Member
edited November 15 in Motivation and Support
For me personally, if I get discouraged I just mess up everything I worked up to. Like last year I was doing well, seeing myself slim down and something just happened to make me go back to old bad eating habits. I weigh 315 ish probably more or the same. I've changed a few habits, only water to drink and adding more fiber, veggies and fruit. I'm a hairstylist so I'm constantly standing or walking around since I was promoted under management and working longer hours. So exercising doesn't appeal to me after work or even before, however tomorrow I'll attempt to go work out for an hour. Anyways, how do you guys get over the discouragement when you have a LONG way to go? I just hate myself for getting this way.. lol

Replies

  • everher
    everher Posts: 909 Member
    First of all, don't focus on all the weight you have to lose. The more you focus on how much you have to lose the more discouraged you will become. Focus on losing that first pound. Just that first pound and then focus on losing the pound after that.

    Don't make large, radical changes. Most people can't go from 0 to 100 overnight. It's not sustainable. Just make small changes. I started by just logging everything I ate for a couple weeks. Then, I set a goal of a pound a week weight loss and slowly began to cut back and moderate my intake.

    The first day is always the hardest. It will get easier, but you still will have bad days and sometimes bad weeks and bad months. Just keep going, keep logging, and keep trying. It may not seem like it, but you're always making progress as long as you're trying.

    Celebrate the little victories. Being able to walk further, eating less than you would have before, clothes getting looser, etc. Realize that this is a journey and settle in for the long haul. You didn't gain the weight overnight and you aren't going to lose it overnight.

    Lastly, be kind to yourself. We all get discouraged sometimes or have bad days. It's what you do next that is going to make the world of difference.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    xxxhelenaxxx wrote: »
    I'm a Pharmacy Technician, so I hear you about not wanting to go workout before or after work. Go before. Don't start at an hour. I just started last week and I'm at 227.4 now, I was at 240 not very long ago, but after several restarts and ups and downs, I started this month at 230.2, and am CREEPING down slowly.

    I started with 10 mins cardio to begin workout, then about 20ish mins of weights on machines, then 10 mins of cool down cardio. My workouts vary from 35-50 mins.

    I joined a gym that is directly between home and work so that I see it every single day on the way to or from.

    My therapist has me journaling because of other issues, but the trick she has me doing is instead of chronicling every single thing about every single day, she has me writing accomplishments, goals, good feelings, compliments, and thoughts. I've got a touch of OCD so the not HAVING to do it every single day is refreshing. I'm very much an all or nothing person.

    It's KILLING me not to go straight down to a hardcore "1200 calorie 1 hour workout every day no anything ever" diet. My idea is to start out at "maintain" with not many restrictions. I allow myself one coke a day, because coke. LOL. I'm not "cutting" anything out yet and I'm thinking that I will slowly lower my calories and slowly raise my exercise as my lifestyle allows.

    I'm not sitting here trying to get a bikini body by this summer. It took me years and years to get this size and I shoot to lose half a pound per week on average. I'm doing weekly measurements and weekly weigh ins. At this pace, I will hit my goal weight/size (ish) in 3 years.

    I'm doing this for my husband, for my kids, and for my health. I HAVE to.

    Friend me if you like!

    I heart this post.

    I have recently started a "positives only" journal myself. I've found it effective. I also can relate to the temptation to push hard -- undereat, ban anything that resembles a treat, over exercise, and use self loathing as motivation.

    For me good mental health is a huge part in achieving and maintaining weightloss. I try to make it a priority too.

    Now I try to treat my body well by eating nutrient rich foods, keep a small deficit, ramp up my exercise slowly and carefully, say no when I need to, get out in the sunshine when I can, pay attention to my social life etc.

  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I didn't change that much just logging and sticking to my calorie goal.
    I prelog my day every morning. It is a habit after 2 years to plan out my day. It helps me get enough protein as well as calories.
    I eat at consistant times. I eat about the same amount of calories for the same meals every day (100-300 calorie breakfasts, 500 calorie dinners). I haved planned snacks.
    Exercise is less consistant for me so I don't rely on it for weight loss. If I do it that is good but I'm looking at my calorie intake more. I do walk a couple thousand steps more than I used to.
  • Lovetheo
    Lovetheo Posts: 7 Member
    These are all wonderful advice! Thank you guys, I'll definitely take in these tips and try my best!
  • allysonvb
    allysonvb Posts: 236 Member
    I'm dealing with this right now. Working my butt off, logging every calorie and not seeing the results that I want. It's been very defeating, so I am happy to be accountability buddies with you so we can lean on each other.
  • Looserpbc
    Looserpbc Posts: 3 Member
    It's not fair to say you just have to want it more, or get up even earlier and walk on a treadmill when your on your feet all day. Don't punish yourself. The point is you want to take care of yourself. Maybe try some Yoga or just gentle stretching before or after work. Take a stroll at lunch break if its a beautiful day and you want to feel the sun on your face. Put music on and dance around for a half hour or even just five minutes if that's all the time you have. Stretching and dancing don't feel like a punishment to me. I think it gets discouraging having to think too much about points or calories or food diaries. I also can't stand feeling hungry! Try cutting out sugar, and white or wheat flour. Fill up on protein, vegetables and unlimited good fats including (limited) dark chocolate. I lost twenty pounds doing this a couple of years ago without suffering. I also allowed myself a cheat meal every Friday evening that usually included a cocktail and pasta. I then had to start reducing the size of my portions especially after work to see results. I maintained for a long time but a few months ago I gained and got discouraged. My son and his three year old son moved back in with me. I work full time and have an hour commute and come home to (an adorable active) three year old boy. I just started shoving whatever I wanted into my mouth. When my clothes started getting tight I decided I had to start taking care of myself again so here I am. Put yourself first. Do what feels good not what someone else tells you you should do.
  • KelGen02
    KelGen02 Posts: 668 Member
    First... you don't have to exercise to lose weight. Exercise's primary function is to keep you active, your heart healthy and fit. You could not exercise a day in your life and still lose weight. (I am not recommending you not exercise ever again) Calories in vs. Calories Out (CICO) is the key to weight loss. I started this journey at 260lbs. I remember telling myself damn you need to lose 61lbs just to get to 199lbs?? which is still FAT? That's going to take FOREVERRRRR because I have herniated disk in my back and neck as well as joint damage so how the hell am I going to exercise??? I have been on every diet there is, lost weight, gained it all back... over and over again. I have never had an issue with my size, I am one of those people who can walk into a crowded room full of people who I don't know and start a conversation, be the center of attention. (which is probably the reason why I didn't care about my weight for so long, I had confidence who cares about the size of my pants right??) The week of Thanksgiving 2016 my husband came home from the dr and told me that they put him on Cholesterol meds... That was the ah ha moment for me sorta speak. I had been on the cholesterol meds in the past and ended up with permanent joint damage because of them. I started thinking about how my kids don't have grandchildren as both our parents died at a young age and that I would be turning 48 in February and I wanted to be the best Grammy ever to my future grandbabies... my mind was spinning so I was like NOPE NO, you are not taking the meds and we are going to start eating better!! Intro to what my husband now calls me... Food Nazi ;) On 11/28/2016 we completely changed our eating habits, we went to a primarily plant based diet for the first couple weeks, then I started adding in things like Eggs, ground turkey, Fish... We log everything that goes into our mouths, we eat small meals every 2-3 hours and drink half our weight in water every day. I took the first couple weeks to get my mind right with food. Getting an idea of what a portion size looked like, prepping, planning etc. Once I got that down pat, I then started walking. 15 minutes during lunch at work around the block, then it was 20 minutes on the treadmill a couple nights a week, that turned into 45-50 minutes 4 times a week, then added in 2 zumba classes in because you know why not, it is much more fun than the treadmill. On 11/28 I weighed in at 248.8 as of last week I weighed in at 227.4. 66 My point to this long drawn out all about me post is that something in your mind will click, you won't look at it as a number on the scale, but as a lifestyle change. Don't set weight loss goals, as far as I am concerned that evil scale is never a true measurement of your efforts. I have been doing measurements and I have lost nearly 5 inches off my waist and chest. I have more energy than I ever thought I could have. That hunger pang that use to bite me all the time is no longer there as I think of food as nourishment and not something I am depriving myself of. My husband and I go out every once in a while and have "cheat meal" which is also logged and within an increased calories for the day, which usually includes a couple glasses of wine. Focus more on the health, less on the weight... a lifestyle change is a marathon, not a sprint. You did not gain weight over night, you certainly are not going to lose it overnight. You will have good days, you will have bad days... How you get through those bad days will be key. don't give up on yourself, don't be to hard on yourself we are all human, we all struggle. I am sorry I wrote a book... feel free to add me if you would like! We are all on this journey to "FIT" together. <3
  • laur357
    laur357 Posts: 896 Member
    One of the ways I've approached this is not thinking about the 100 pounds I had to lose, but how I was going to lose 10 pounds or 5 pounds.
    Losing 10 pounds 10 times just seemed much more manageable than losing 100 pounds. You could also reward yourself in some way every 10 pounds. New piece of clothing, fun outing, etc.

    Exercise - you get a lot of movement naturally each day from work. If you're currently having a hard time adding dedicated exercise, just focus on sticking to a reasonable calorie goal. I didn't start adding exercise other than walking until I had lost my first 20 pounds, and by that time I was motivated because I was losing and I had more energy. You could take a 15 minute walk before work then do some bedtime yoga a few evenings when you get home, and add longer gym times after you get used to it.

    Outlook - making drastic changes works for some people, but other people respond really well to making one small change then adding a little more after it becomes a habit. Small changes over time take longer, but they might help alter you adapt to a healthier lifestyle without feeling overwhelmed.
  • ValeriePlz
    ValeriePlz Posts: 517 Member
    Agreed with others, don't get down on yourself. I try to remind myself that I didn't gain it all quickly, so I shouldn't expect to lose it all quickly. Have mini-goals and try to reward yourself. Feel free to friend me for motivation!
  • shadowloss
    shadowloss Posts: 293 Member
    First be honest with yourself. I own a few hair salons and I go in on weekends to help my team by cleaning and prepping their stations between clients. After 6-8 hours of this, I'm worn out! Get a pedometer or a fitbit and see how many steps you are actually taking in a day! I bet you would be getting more than someone on a treadmill for an hour!

    Next make sure you have healthy snacks, nuts, veggies, protein to snack on throughout the day. Sometimes you only get a moment between clients to go grab something so make that "something" benefit you. Otherwise at the end of your shift you want to just shove everything in your mouth. (Me last Saturday! I didn't eat all day till 7:00 and by then I was so hungry I exceeded my calories for the day in one sitting) However, I had my steps to counter most of it.

    Log everything, start slow! I started with not ordering sides with my meals (okay fries). I stopped drinking Soda (not necessary if it is zero calorie). You will find as you get these down, the next step almost creates itself. You will think that was easy, start seeing results, and want to build on it. Finally, never quit. This is a life change, not a diet. You will screw up, you will cheat, you will begin again, you will succeed. If you want it bad enough. Your job is not easy, but it's like going to the gym at work. Now fix the calories in, and you will start to see the success.
  • Sedu1906
    Sedu1906 Posts: 145 Member
    I get discouraged all the time. I workout like a beast but I have a serious sugar addiction and it's very hard for me to make substantial gains. I use my kids as motivation. That and I'm sort of a competitive cyclist and I specific goals ahead of me so that gives me something tangible to work toward.
  • jennjune2014
    jennjune2014 Posts: 23 Member
    None of us are perfect. You had a setback. No need to beat yourself up over it

    I give myself perspective when I'm discouraged.

    We all are busy. Weight loss and changing to a healthy lifestyle is hard work. Without the struggle, there is no progress. Any hospice patient with 3 months to live would gladly change places with us.

    I love this photo. Some days I just need a reality check on my personal struggle in life.
    z5xf5lmyvpks.jpg






  • Lovetheo
    Lovetheo Posts: 7 Member
    I know it's been a while and I'm still here. I gained a lot since I made this. (I would say 20 pounds) I've been eating well for a couple weeks and worked out everyday this week. I feel amazing ! Thanks for the advice!
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    Welcome back! So glad to hear that you're back on track these last two weeks. Setbacks are immaterial in the long run. Just keep trying.
  • okohjacinda
    okohjacinda Posts: 329 Member
    Omg if thats not where I was a few months ago then I don't know what is. I literally was in the same predicament as you.

    I started in July 2014 at 272 and lost 80lbs by May 2016 and then gained it all back plus 2lbs by Feb 2017.

    So I had to start all over again and it took a while for me to get out of that mode of feeling discouraged, ashamed and disappointed in myself.

    I had to realize that this is not a race or a game but my life and I have to take responsibility for my actions and be accountable everyday. Developing hypertension 1 has really put things in perspective for me that my weight loss needs to be a high priority and procrastination or complacency is not an option for me anymore.

    So that's what pushes me to get up 5 something in the morning and do a quick mile or 2 on the treadmill.

    My eating is still not perfect but nor do I expect it ever will be but I am trying to build up consistency so that my healthy habits can be on autopilot.

    If you find something really important to you whether its your health, being an inspiration to friends and family, or just want to look and feel better...a switch will eventually turn on and that discouragement will evaporate.

    Today I am 34lbs down since I started back 3 months ago and I only have 48 more to go before I am back to my lowest weight. So with consistency and determination, you can be close to where you were in no time.

    I know its easier said than done and I hated it at first and still do sometimes lol but I also hate showering everyday and brushing my teeth 2x a day and doing my hair but hey all those things must be done. You have to start looking at exercise and reducing cal intake as a daily ritual.
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