How to encourage your spouse?

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Hello I want to encourage my spouse to lose weight not because I don't like the way he looks because he has high blood pressure and is pre diabetic and I think he would just be happier and I definitely want him to live a longer healthy life he's 32 and 6ft tall and weighs between 380-400 I don't know an exact because he hates weighing himself I want to encourage him and push him the right way without making him feel bad he did download MyFitnessPal a couple weeks ago but deleted it for reasons I'm not sure of anyone have any ideas???
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  • subcounter
    subcounter Posts: 2,382 Member
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    I would encourage you guys to watch some weight-loss shows together, like Chris Powell's transformation show. They had some episodes with couples, perhaps that could hit home?
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    You could try making positive changes in meals. If he does the cooking at the moment perhaps you could ask to trade duties. You could also invite him to get more active with you. If he balks at walking, try just shopping or anything else that gets him out of his chair and moving around. Deleting MFP though sounds to me like pushing too hard will result in him pushing back.
  • rdl81
    rdl81 Posts: 220 Member
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    tell him this "want him to live a longer healthy life" but at same time try and steer both of you towards more healthy habits in terms of eating, so healthy meals, buy less unhealthy snacks as if they not in house you wont eat them, maybe go for some walks etc. Maybe he doesn't want to make a change himself but if one is made for him he might be happy to go with it
  • clags301
    clags301 Posts: 69 Member
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    MaybeLed wrote: »
    subcounter wrote: »
    I would encourage you guys to watch some weight-loss shows together, like Chris Powell's transformation show. They had some episodes with couples, perhaps that could hit home?

    I think if I made my husband watch reality TV he would rebel in a way that was horrific.

    Then again does depend on your relationship dynamic

    Ha - that's exactly what went through my head when I read that! He'd look at me like I had 3 heads!

    I guess a lot of people watch that stuff - to each his own :)
  • ole496
    ole496 Posts: 32 Member
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    Just one point of clarification, the getting after him part is just to get him to start making changes. Don't read too much into my comments, this isn't about emotional abuse here. Guys are great teammates. His life is the game, he's a player and you're his Captain. You need to get his head back in the game. As teammates, we also switch to love, encouragement and support after we get our buddies going in the right direction. I hope that analogy helps a little.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
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    Talk to him about your concern over his health. Ask him why he deleted MFP. Ask him what his goals are and how you can support his goals.
  • HG210
    HG210 Posts: 103 Member
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    I sympathize with you. I am having the exact same issues with my husband. However, I agree lead by example. I really am puzzled because I am dealing with a man who is the most diligent person I know but is terrible when it comes to his health. My husband drives an hour and a half every day and he just got another degree. He was a Senior Chief in the Navy and retired after 21 years. He has a trainer he works with but is not consistent at all. I don't get it. Last year he was diagnosed with being in a pre diabetic state. He was given medicine and he worked really hard to get off of it. He did so well. When he went back to the Dr. and he was taken off the medicine. Good for him. He is now in the same boat all over again. Now he has pain in his feet. He told me that his levels went back up and he may have to go on the medicine again. The foot pain is from diabetes. This man is making me nuts. The very same day he came home with a huge pack of M&M's after just getting bad news, he loves sweets. It is ridiculous how many cookies and candy he will eat instead of real food. He loves pies and cakes and always wants desserts. The thing that is so frustrating is that he is a person that is so on top of every thing else in his life. I really and truly sympathize with you. He needs to know the mental strain that this is putting on you. It is not fair for you to carry such a burden. I am honest with my husband and lead by example. Now I am not saying do what I do (because I am a little nuts LOL) but if he even brings any crap in the house I open it and throw it away. I don't let him have anything that is sugar. I can't control him when he is not around me but I don't aid him when he is. Every night we go for a walk and on the weekends I work out with him. Lead Lead Lead is all you can do as a wife. I am praying for you.
  • laur357
    laur357 Posts: 896 Member
    edited February 2017
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    Nice job on your own loss!