I feel unsupported when ______________.
jljshoe1979
Posts: 325 Member
I think I am going to have to have a "discussion" with my husband. I took about a month off from trying to lose weight, but for the last week I'm back on it. During this time, I've noticed some really annoying behaviors from my husband. The straw that broke the camel's back finally came when he ate some soup that I had cooked, premeasured, and told him not to eat because I had already counted it in my daily food for the next day. I am not normally so strict with my food/counting, but he was wanting to eat at McDonald's the next day, so I was trying to take that food into account. I am not so much mad that he ate the food, but that he ate it after I had told him I would be eating it, and it was measured out. This is on top of him eating chicken salad I prepped and had told him I would eat that for lunch on a different day. He has his crappy food here that I buy at his request. I don't like his chips or his canned ravioli or his frozen pizza. All of that stuff was on hand, so why did he eat my food? I did talk to him about it, when I went to eat my soup, and it wasn't in the fridge, but he was like "if we are going to be like that, then we need to start labeling the food." There have also been some little behaviors/suggestions he has done recently that I swear are out of character for him (like bringing home Chinese food...I worked around that by logging it into MFP and measuring it out)...Speaking of which, he makes fun of me when I break out the scale to measure my food. Anyone else go through similar situations with family or roommates? I know its extreme, but I thought about throwing out all his comfort food (cause I'm not going to eat it)...see how he likes not having his (unlabeled) food available when he wants it. Urgh!!!
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Replies
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When my mom goes on diets, my dad seems to bring home cherry pie or buys her a bag of chips on his way home from work. We're not sure why.0
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It sure seems like he is trying to sabotage you. Some people feel threatened or insecure when the people they are close to change. I don't know him so I don't know why he would feel like that but maybe you need another talk with him.
If he wants to eat your food that's great, throw his food away and make everything your way. Less work than trying to maintain two different eating styles in the same household.0 -
It sure seems like he is trying to sabotage you. Some people feel threatened or insecure when the people they are close to change. I don't know him so I don't know why he would feel like that but maybe you need another talk with him.
If he wants to eat your food that's great, throw his food away and make everything your way. Less work than trying to maintain two different eating styles in the same household.
Tried once upon a time to have us on a "diet" together...that didn't go well for either of us. Then I tried to subtly cook healthier. He likes most of the things I cook, and at home I can control the portions by measuring, but when I started talking about me losing weight - he started complaining about the things I was cooking more...thus, I started keeping food on hand he likes to eat that he could prepare (and I would eat the leftovers)...here we are today, with him now eating my leftovers. I think he is insecure, but I know that's something I can't fix...0 -
I think I am going to have to have a "discussion" with my husband. I took about a month off from trying to lose weight, but for the last week I'm back on it. During this time, I've noticed some really annoying behaviors from my husband. The straw that broke the camel's back finally came when he ate some soup that I had cooked, premeasured, and told him not to eat because I had already counted it in my daily food for the next day. I am not normally so strict with my food/counting, but he was wanting to eat at McDonald's the next day, so I was trying to take that food into account. I am not so much mad that he ate the food, but that he ate it after I had told him I would be eating it, and it was measured out. This is on top of him eating chicken salad I prepped and had told him I would eat that for lunch on a different day. He has his crappy food here that I buy at his request. I don't like his chips or his canned ravioli or his frozen pizza. All of that stuff was on hand, so why did he eat my food? I did talk to him about it, when I went to eat my soup, and it wasn't in the fridge, but he was like "if we are going to be like that, then we need to start labeling the food." There have also been some little behaviors/suggestions he has done recently that I swear are out of character for him (like bringing home Chinese food...I worked around that by logging it into MFP and measuring it out)...Speaking of which, he makes fun of me when I break out the scale to measure my food. Anyone else go through similar situations with family or roommates? I know its extreme, but I thought about throwing out all his comfort food (cause I'm not going to eat it)...see how he likes not having his (unlabeled) food available when he wants it. Urgh!!!
Oh, and when I did say something about the soup being eaten - "I was trying to start a fight."0 -
never= I deal with it0
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When people tell me I look good the way I am! That doesn't make me want to commit, and I know I have at least 20 extra pounds to lose. Also when people bring tons of baked goods and things into the house when they know I'm trying to watch what I eat, and how easily tempted I am. Especially when they are left right out in the open.0
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What's the big deal with labeling food that you want to make sure is saved for you? I live with only my husband and I label stuff with my name all the time. Also, I label food that I want HIM to eat.
I wouldn't recommend throwing away your husband's "junk" food, as that's just immature and then you're kind of encouraging him to eat even more of the stuff you're saving for yourself.0 -
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My husband knows that i have been working hard to lose weight, yet he will sit in front of me and pig out to my favorite foods. When i say something to him about it he gets mad at me and throws a fit. i just want some support from him.0
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What's the big deal with labeling food that you want to make sure is saved for you? I live with only my husband and I label stuff with my name all the time. Also, I label food that I want HIM to eat.
I wouldn't recommend throwing away your husband's "junk" food, as that's just immature and then you're kind of encouraging him to eat even more of the stuff you're saving for yourself.
Oh, I don't mind labeling the food. I was just upset specifically about the soup because I had told him it was measured out for me to eat the next day...it's not like he didn't know. I guess I feel like I had verbally labeled it. Yeah, I was just ranting when I said I would throw it out. It's just really hard to work around him, when I do think there are some underlying issues going on that I'm not qualified/trained to fix.0 -
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When I started my husband was the... " Im not going to eat diet food with you." But then I would go looking for stuff only to find out he ate it. So I started cooking everything as if I were cooking for myself.... I didn't tell anyone I did. They would give compliments. After a while I finally told my husband what I had been doing. He just shrugged, and said it was still good.
By my cooking better he has lost weight also.0 -
Seems to be a common practice around here...0 -
my mom denies that she's trying to sabotage me, but when she goes grocery shopping the goodies fill the cart. I have younger siblings and sure they should be able to have some treats every now and then.. EXAMPLE: I started a "diet" on a Monday and I told her Sunday that I would be making changes.. She went to the store on Monday and there just so happened to be a sale on Little Debbie snacks, so she bought 12 boxes. I am NOT exaggerating. 12. TWELVE. Granted she did keep them in her room, but I still had that temptation. I understand that there will always be temptations.
She had the weight loss surgery and doesn't want me to have it, claiming that I'd feel better if I lost it all on my own. I am on the fence with the weight loss surgery. So far I don't think I will ever have it. I agree with her. But she knows exactly how I feel as a 20 year old that has always been overweight. or obese. In 3rd grade I weigh 120lbs. That's the lowest number I ever remember. It got higher and higher. I've never been under 230 for as long as I can remember. She makes it sound like weight loss is so easy and I should be able to do it without having healthy foods in the house.. Really?
I feel unsupported when my dad points out my flaws and never compliments me on what I have accomplished..
My dad weighed about 300 lbs at his highest. Every time I see him he makes a comment on his current weight. This week he's at 182 . I am so proud of him, but it makes me mad. I wore shorts the other day, I was telling him about my taking walks, jogging, and eating healthy, and he said, "I would work on your thighs if I were you."
I'm not trying to bash my parents at all. But, I have no one to blow off steam to, so you get to hear it MFP. lol (:0 -
The lady at Chick-fil-a puts a medium waffle fry in my bag when I CLEARLY ordered the 3 strip ENTREE ONLY. Damn her.0
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The lady at Chick-fil-a puts a medium waffle fry in my bag when I CLEARLY ordered the 3 strip ENTREE ONLY. Damn her.
Didn't mean to turn this post into a husband/SO bashing fest...really did mean for others to post things like above (guess I need to try and go back and edit the first comment)...
How about when Zaxby's made their limited-time only shakes permanent???....B-day cake shake is my weakness!!!!0 -
it ish't husband bashing. it is the facts. I an 5' 2" and 156 lbs. my husband is 5' 11" and has never been over 134 lbs. every time I try to cook healthy foods, he accuses me of trying to kill him by feeding him rabbit food. he also gets upset when I buy bran / whole wheat bread. that in itself was bad enough, but I caught him yesterday telling our 4 year old daughter that broccoli is nasty, and the yogurt she was eating is gross. what does one do in a situation like this?0
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my boyfriend doesn't notices the differences -.-0
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it ish't husband bashing. it is the facts. I an 5' 2" and 156 lbs. my husband is 5' 11" and has never been over 134 lbs. every time I try to cook healthy foods, he accuses me of trying to kill him by feeding him rabbit food. he also gets upset when I buy bran / whole wheat bread. that in itself was bad enough, but I caught him yesterday telling our 4 year old daughter that broccoli is nasty, and the yogurt she was eating is gross. what does one do in a situation like this?
I don't really know. I would try a private conversation with him, but I bet you have already done that. Maybe you could ask him questions like if he wants her to be healthy or not...or why is he discouraging her from things that are good for her? What was your daughter's reaction to what your husband said? Did she say something back, did she stop eating it, or what???0 -
I feel unsupported when I tell myself that I can't accomplish my goal. I feel unsupported when I blame my problems on the actions of others. I feel unsupported when I waste time complaining about problems instead of solving problems. I started having success with my goals when I realized that it was all on me. Others can and have helped, but the ultimate responsibility lies with me and me alone.
I've made special meals for myself and had my wife and kids eat them. Frustrating. So I learned to make enough for all of us. It was sort of ridiculous for me to expect to not share food with my family in the first place. It's the equivalent of using a marker to write my name on a gallon of milk.
Sometimes they eat my food. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they order pizza and eat it while I'm suffering thru chicken and rice. Sometimes I say fk it and enjoy the pizza with them.
The point is, just because I decided to make a change doesn't mean my whole family had to change with me. We shared all our food before so we can share it now. Or they can eat the regular meals while I change my diet. They don't have to eat cauliflower pizza crust* just because I am.
*Kidding. I'll stay fat before that shurlit ever crosses my lips0 -
I remove my bra.0
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I feel unsupported when I tell myself that I can't accomplish my goal. I feel unsupported when I blame my problems on the actions of others. I feel unsupported when I waste time complaining about problems instead of solving problems. I started having success with my goals when I realized that it was all on me. Others can and have helped, but the ultimate responsibility lies with me and me alone.
I've made special meals for myself and had my wife and kids eat them. Frustrating. So I learned to make enough for all of us. It was sort of ridiculous for me to expect to not share food with my family in the first place. It's the equivalent of using a marker to write my name on a gallon of milk.
Sometimes they eat my food. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they order pizza and eat it while I'm suffering thru chicken and rice. Sometimes I say fk it and enjoy the pizza with them.
The point is, just because I decided to make a change doesn't mean my whole family had to change with me. We shared all our food before so we can share it now. Or they can eat the regular meals while I change my diet. They don't have to eat cauliflower pizza crust* just because I am.
*Kidding. I'll stay fat before that shurlit ever crosses my lips
Just to be clear...I was not just upset at him eating it...it was him eating it, after I had made a point to say that's my lunch for tomorrow (I had already done the work measuring it out and putting it up). He ate it as a snack (for me it was a whole meal) AND on top of that I was trying to accommodate something he wanted by planning ahead to meet my goals/needs. It's not like we didn't have anything else in the house he likes to eat. I don't expect him to change (we've already been down that road, and it's not pretty). To me, his decision to eat it AFTER I had made it clear it was for me was simply disrespectful to me.0 -
I remove my bra.
LOL - that was funny!!!!!0 -
You beat me to it!I remove my bra.0 -
....She went to the store on Monday and there just so happened to be a sale on Little Debbie snacks, so she bought 12 boxes. I am NOT exaggerating. 12. TWELVE. Granted she did keep them in her room, but I still had that temptation. I understand that there will always be temptations.
She had the weight loss surgery and doesn't want me to have it, claiming that I'd feel better if I lost it all on my own.
Ummm....12 boxes of freakin Little Debbie snacks that she keeps in her room???? Let me guess....she also says weight loss surgery doesn't work, right??0 -
sooo make extra next time? annoying that you planned for the food but he ate it? understandable. but he was eating something healthy instead of a frozen pizza. consider it a win!0
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You sound like a joy to live with.
Tell me, do you use red tape to separate your side of the bedroom and bed from his?0 -
Sounds like your husband is not supportive and instead of helping you out, or encouraging you he is providing barriers and trying to sabbatoge your weight loss efforts. He is probabley feeling threatened, as other people have stated! Don't give up, stay strong and don't let him bring you down. And if it's going to take labeling your food to stop him from eating it, do it!
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What's the big deal with labeling food that you want to make sure is saved for you? I live with only my husband and I label stuff with my name all the time. Also, I label food that I want HIM to eat.
I wouldn't recommend throwing away your husband's "junk" food, as that's just immature and then you're kind of encouraging him to eat even more of the stuff you're saving for yourself.
I have a roommate.
I pre-measure my food (he does give me grief about the lack of pasta and lack of rice.
we have a shelf in the middle of the fridge- top shelf is set to hold a 12 pack of beer- so it's fairly low... the middle shelf is only 6" maybe from the top shelf. ANYTHING ON THAT SHELF IS MINE AND OFF LIMITS. I do cook in bulk- so I always make sure I measure out mine then put extras up top- so I feel that it's fair- he buys food when we go out to eat.
If it's on the top shelf- it's fair game. period. End of story. I don't drink his IPA beer. And he doesn't eat my food.
Themz the rulez.0 -
My cousin brought over the Insanity DVD's for me to use. The set was missing one DVD and when she told me that my hubby chimed in that I wouldn't need it anyway...that skinny *kitten* hubby of mine! LOL! I try not to get pissed at him because he is normally supportive and I can handle a little sarcasm. I do have a strong opinion that when I cook a delicious healthy meal, if you don't like it you fend for yourself! I am a damn good cook after all! 0
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