I feel unsupported when ______________.
Replies
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You sound like a joy to live with.
Tell me, do you use red tape to separate your side of the bedroom and bed from his?
Wow is that what you got from my post? Dang, now I'm crying...I try so hard to work around my husband's wants. I am not capable of making him happy. I bought him food he wanted, but didn't eat. I had made the soup for supper and the "leftovers" were for my lunch. He has eaten my preplanned/premeasured food before, and at those times I didn't say anything because I did not tell him my future plans for it. This time I "communicated" to him what I was doing with it - communication isn't that what all the therapists say to do? I don't go out much during the day...I try to stay home and eat at home to save money. What was I supposed to do??? I do want to be a good wife, does that mean letting him walk on me too?0 -
For the anniversary of our first meeting, my fiance brought home 2 dozen roses, a romantic card and low-cal ice cream bars. I love him so much.
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Everyone in my workplace is overweight, and we have boxes of donuts EVERY DAY. I was skinny when I started, 5'6, 110 pounds, one year later, i'm 161. Everyone there told me I'd get fat like them, and they are delighted that I have. They wont stop bringing in the snacks and openly mock my mourning of my former figure. I almost wonder if I need a new job, but thats easier said then done.0
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sooo make extra next time? annoying that you planned for the food but he ate it? understandable. but he was eating something healthy instead of a frozen pizza. consider it a win!
Yes, it is a win for him to eat something healthy...However, he's not trying to eat healthy...he also, ate more stuff after that - so lose/lose for both of us. What ended up happening is that all I was left with the next day to eat was a choice of his junk food or my healthy snacks (because I didn't know the soup had been eaten...I had time to heat and eat, not make another healthy meal)...I choose my snacks, but the point where I felt unsupported was him eating it after I had said that's for me for tomorrow, please don't eat it.0 -
I remove my bra.
Damn! Beat me to it. Well done.0 -
Sharing food is one of the things that people often expect in relationships, which doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to have your own food, but might explain why these changes can inspire rebellion in the other person. Maybe your husband would like to try some healthy eating too, even part time, with his special treats around. Measure out two portions next time.
P.S. Ah man, don't cry. You're still working out what works. People don't always communicate what they really want, or even know what they really want.0 -
Everyone in my workplace is overweight, and we have boxes of donuts EVERY DAY. I was skinny when I started, 5'6, 110 pounds, one year later, i'm 161. Everyone there told me I'd get fat like them, and they are delighted that I have. They wont stop bringing in the snacks and openly mock my mourning of my former figure. I almost wonder if I need a new job, but thats easier said then done.
holySH%Tsnacksbatman
don't give in- fight back.
Since I started my desk job over a year ago- I've managed to lose 20 lbs. I refuse to become on of the desk jockey obese people I currently worth with- it's awful.
They try to give me a hard time about it- but they can't- I look amazing and they know it. It's hysterical.
FIGHT BACK
VIva La Resistance!!!!0 -
Start labeling your food. If he keeps eating after that, you have a real problem. Sounds like he gave you a solution.0
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My cousin brought over the Insanity DVD's for me to use. The set was missing one DVD and when she told me that my hubby chimed in that I wouldn't need it anyway...that skinny *kitten* hubby of mine! LOL! I try not to get pissed at him because he is normally supportive and I can handle a little sarcasm. I do have a strong opinion that when I cook a delicious healthy meal, if you don't like it you fend for yourself! I am a damn good cook after all!
Yeah - I get those comments here too over things. I don't mind things being said lovingly (even with sarcasm mixed in), I try to just ignore them and do my thang.0 -
My co workers are the worst. I bring in salads, fruits and veggies ...they bring in cupcakes, muffins and chips... they always say its ok just have one...or just have a cup of this... or they kinda laugh and say the diet girl but its like i just want to be healthy...what is the problem with that? UGH aggervates me. But my fiance is great he supports me and tries to diet himself. He like whatever i cook and if i cook good he still eats it. Im lucky in that regard. But my motto is Follow your Tastes...Dont be persuaded into eating unhealthy due to pressure of others... stand your ground!0
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For the anniversary of our first meeting, my fiance brought home 2 dozen roses, a romantic card and low-cal ice cream bars. I love him so much.
Oh how sweet!!!!!!! (Edited to make sure that comment was not interpreted sarcastically in any way, shape, or form)0 -
Everyone in my workplace is overweight, and we have boxes of donuts EVERY DAY. I was skinny when I started, 5'6, 110 pounds, one year later, i'm 161. Everyone there told me I'd get fat like them, and they are delighted that I have. They wont stop bringing in the snacks and openly mock my mourning of my former figure. I almost wonder if I need a new job, but thats easier said then done.
Start not eating the snacks. And they sound like *kitten*. If your coworkers want you to get fat and then make fun of you, they're not good people.
...also, how many doughnuts are you eating a day to gain 50 pounds in a year?0 -
I know its hard to believe. I cant believe I went from a size 4 to a 16 in one year either. I want and intend to fight back, but its hard because physically, I've already become one of them. I need to start holding my ground, but its hard for me to be motivated when I'm already FAT.Everyone in my workplace is overweight, and we have boxes of donuts EVERY DAY. I was skinny when I started, 5'6, 110 pounds, one year later, i'm 161. Everyone there told me I'd get fat like them, and they are delighted that I have. They wont stop bringing in the snacks and openly mock my mourning of my former figure. I almost wonder if I need a new job, but thats easier said then done.
holySH%Tsnacksbatman
don't give in- fight back.
Since I started my desk job over a year ago- I've managed to lose 20 lbs. I refuse to become on of the desk jockey obese people I currently worth with- it's awful.
They try to give me a hard time about it- but they can't- I look amazing and they know it. It's hysterical.
FIGHT BACK
VIva La Resistance!!!!0 -
Usually just like 2 or 3. I also turned 30, which I think ruined my metabolism.0
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Sharing food is one of the things that people often expect in relationships, which doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to have your own food, but might explain why these changes can inspire rebellion in the other person. Maybe your husband would like to try some healthy eating too, even part time, with his special treats around. Measure out two portions next time.
P.S. Ah man, don't cry. You're still working out what works. People don't always communicate what they really want, or even know what they really want.
Oh thanks - I shouldn't have even typed that about crying (I'm already over it)...the comment about me "being a joy" really got to me though because I really do try so hard, in so many ways - and nothing in return. In all fairness, the poster who made that comment doesn't know me and doesn't know about all that.0 -
You beat me to it!I remove my bra.
Same here. Dammit!0 -
If he would like to start putting labels on food then start putting labels on food, or make 2, or more than 2 of whatever it is.
I feel unsupported with the underwire falls out of my bra . . . other than that I've empowered myself to be responsible for me.0 -
I know its hard to believe. I cant believe I went from a size 4 to a 16 in one year either. I want and intend to fight back, but its hard because physically, I've already become one of them. I need to start holding my ground, but its hard for me to be motivated when I'm already FAT.
but you weren't- you aren't fat person. You just happen to be right now- like a bad dress. You can take it off.
YOU CAN DO IT.
They want you to be fat so THEY feel better about themselves. YOU CAN DO IT. Prep your food- walk past the doughnuts- if you must- allow yourself one a week- FRIDAY is better than Monday (least for me and I absolutely will indulge occasionally- I make sure I skip my lunch- calories may not be all created equal- but I make sure I take something HOME with me that I was supposed to eat if I have something I didn't bring with me.
I GOT YOUR BACK HOMIE!!! YOU HAVE THIS!
yeah I said homie- what of it!0 -
If you really want him to support you you could always explain to him that the better you feel about you the more self confidence you'll have and the more self confidence you have the more action he'll get . . . at least that's how it works in my house. The better i feel about more, the more likely I am to be nekked.0
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I know its hard to believe. I cant believe I went from a size 4 to a 16 in one year either. I want and intend to fight back, but its hard because physically, I've already become one of them. I need to start holding my ground, but its hard for me to be motivated when I'm already FAT.Everyone in my workplace is overweight, and we have boxes of donuts EVERY DAY. I was skinny when I started, 5'6, 110 pounds, one year later, i'm 161. Everyone there told me I'd get fat like them, and they are delighted that I have. They wont stop bringing in the snacks and openly mock my mourning of my former figure. I almost wonder if I need a new job, but thats easier said then done.
holySH%Tsnacksbatman
don't give in- fight back.
Since I started my desk job over a year ago- I've managed to lose 20 lbs. I refuse to become on of the desk jockey obese people I currently worth with- it's awful.
They try to give me a hard time about it- but they can't- I look amazing and they know it. It's hysterical.
FIGHT BACK
VIva La Resistance!!!!
As soon as you take ownership of your actions instead of blaming them for availability you'll be able to take care of yourself. However, if you don't start being accountable for yourself and keep pushing it off on them you're just not going to find success. There's a candy basket in my office, it's my decision and only my decision as to whether or not I eat out of it.0 -
It makes me feel sad that some of you take it so personally when others around you do things that seem unsupportive. It speaks to the level of trust and respect in the relationship.
I dearly love my people and they dearly love me. If they want to sit around and eat junk food, it does not reflect on how they feel about me. It simply reflects on their food craving and appetite at the moment. I don't feel they are in any way trying to sabotage me or my goals. If anything, it helps me build my willpower to know that I can resist. Sometimes I give in and we eat junk together. Still... no one to blame. It's just life.
On the flip side, if my people want to sit around and eat healthy portions I have measured out for myself, I'd have to first ask myself if I had let them know I had measured it out for myself. If not, I'd simply assume they wanted to eat healthy. And that's awesome! If they knew it was a portion I measured out for myself for later, I would ask them why they had done so. It's probably still going to be the equivalent of them wanting to eat something healthy and from there we would move forward to the suggestion of us making sure there is an abundant amount of healthy food available for everyone.
I am a lucky person to have significant others who are respectful and loving. None of them would ever consider sabotaging anyone's personal goals, and therefore, I would never interpret their actions as subversive.... regardless of what food they eat near me.0 -
I know its hard to believe. I cant believe I went from a size 4 to a 16 in one year either. I want and intend to fight back, but its hard because physically, I've already become one of them. I need to start holding my ground, but its hard for me to be motivated when I'm already FAT.Everyone in my workplace is overweight, and we have boxes of donuts EVERY DAY. I was skinny when I started, 5'6, 110 pounds, one year later, i'm 161. Everyone there told me I'd get fat like them, and they are delighted that I have. They wont stop bringing in the snacks and openly mock my mourning of my former figure. I almost wonder if I need a new job, but thats easier said then done.
holySH%Tsnacksbatman
don't give in- fight back.
Since I started my desk job over a year ago- I've managed to lose 20 lbs. I refuse to become on of the desk jockey obese people I currently worth with- it's awful.
They try to give me a hard time about it- but they can't- I look amazing and they know it. It's hysterical.
FIGHT BACK
VIva La Resistance!!!!
Gaining the weight I get - easy to fall into bad habits when everyone is doing it and is encouraging you to do the same. It can take a while to make yourself realize how far you've come (in a bad way) and that you need to do something about it. I don't get why it's hard to be motivated when you're already fat, though. Isn't that the ultimate motivation? You really don't like where you are and you know you like where you were. Right?0 -
I feel nasty when my wife makes comments about me being "too muscular" and "too boney" now vs where I was a year or two ago.0
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everyone in my family keeps saying your fin just the way you are , or when my hubby eats cake , chips < and other temting foods in front of me
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I feel unsupported when I tell myself that I can't accomplish my goal. I feel unsupported when I blame my problems on the actions of others. I feel unsupported when I waste time complaining about problems instead of solving problems. I started having success with my goals when I realized that it was all on me. Others can and have helped, but the ultimate responsibility lies with me and me alone.
I've made special meals for myself and had my wife and kids eat them. Frustrating. So I learned to make enough for all of us. It was sort of ridiculous for me to expect to not share food with my family in the first place. It's the equivalent of using a marker to write my name on a gallon of milk.
Sometimes they eat my food. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they order pizza and eat it while I'm suffering thru chicken and rice. Sometimes I say fk it and enjoy the pizza with them.
The point is, just because I decided to make a change doesn't mean my whole family had to change with me. We shared all our food before so we can share it now. Or they can eat the regular meals while I change my diet. They don't have to eat cauliflower pizza crust* just because I am.
*Kidding. I'll stay fat before that shurlit ever crosses my lips
Just to be clear...I was not just upset at him eating it...it was him eating it, after I had made a point to say that's my lunch for tomorrow (I had already done the work measuring it out and putting it up). He ate it as a snack (for me it was a whole meal) AND on top of that I was trying to accommodate something he wanted by planning ahead to meet my goals/needs. It's not like we didn't have anything else in the house he likes to eat. I don't expect him to change (we've already been down that road, and it's not pretty). To me, his decision to eat it AFTER I had made it clear it was for me was simply disrespectful to me.
So you aren't upset because he ate it.....you were just upset because he ate it?0 -
I feel nasty when my wife makes comments about me being "too muscular" and "too boney" now vs where I was a year or two ago.
I kindly request pictorial evidence.0 -
When my friends tell me that I wont lose weight.
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You sound like a joy to live with.
Tell me, do you use red tape to separate your side of the bedroom and bed from his?
Wow is that what you got from my post? Dang, now I'm crying...I try so hard to work around my husband's wants. I am not capable of making him happy. I bought him food he wanted, but didn't eat. I had made the soup for supper and the "leftovers" were for my lunch. He has eaten my preplanned/premeasured food before, and at those times I didn't say anything because I did not tell him my future plans for it. This time I "communicated" to him what I was doing with it - communication isn't that what all the therapists say to do? I don't go out much during the day...I try to stay home and eat at home to save money. What was I supposed to do??? I do want to be a good wife, does that mean letting him walk on me too?
Just break up.0 -
when my family brings food into the house that is full of empty calories and not good for me.0
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You sound like a joy to live with.
Tell me, do you use red tape to separate your side of the bedroom and bed from his?
Wow is that what you got from my post? Dang, now I'm crying...I try so hard to work around my husband's wants. I am not capable of making him happy. I bought him food he wanted, but didn't eat. I had made the soup for supper and the "leftovers" were for my lunch. He has eaten my preplanned/premeasured food before, and at those times I didn't say anything because I did not tell him my future plans for it. This time I "communicated" to him what I was doing with it - communication isn't that what all the therapists say to do? I don't go out much during the day...I try to stay home and eat at home to save money. What was I supposed to do??? I do want to be a good wife, does that mean letting him walk on me too?
Just break up.
Seriously. If eating food in the house is "walking on" you then, well, just wow.0
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