Long distance
mrxtrmesports4622
Posts: 11 Member
in Chit-Chat
Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.
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Write this down. Don't do long distance!!!!! Move on man.... You're holding on too tight. Worrying will get you no where.4
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If the relationship is solid there is no what ifs and what nots. In college means your girlfriend is going have her college experience, worrying about what she may or may not do might drive you insane. Trust her or do not trust her, you have to choose one.4
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Sounds like that trust piece you talk about is missing...2
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mrxtrmesports4622 wrote: »Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.
... you don't think she'd ever cheat on you........but you think she might cheat on you. Ok.0 -
Ever hear the song; "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." J/k
I went away to college my Jr year , my gf of three years stayed in hometown. I would come home to see her. In Nov she got PG, we got married in Feb and now 48 years later we're still together. Good luck.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
(Also made me horny)
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All you need is communication and trust. If it's not meant to be then it'll end.2
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Currently doing long distance, have been for around 4 months or so
Distance can be tough, but for me, it's very very worth it.
It's only distance, and not forever. When someone is special to you, distance can be overcome 100%
Trust your gut instinct - when you know, you know
This!!!
When a person really cares distance doesn't matter2 -
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Long distance relationships can be so hard, and take a lot of effort on both ends.
My husband proposed to me right before he left for grad school, and we spent the whole year we were engaged living 7 hours apart. We saw each other maybe 4 or 5 times in that year. Then he got done for the summer, and we were married, and suddenly living together after living long distance. It was a serious adjustment! (P.S. planning a wedding long distance? Total relationship test!
)
You can do it, and it can work, if you *both* think it's worth it, and *both* make the effort.
Good luck to you, and I hope you guys can figure out something that works for you!0 -
Punt.0
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If you want each other bad enough you can make anything work. You are going to have to be mature and trusting and give it a chance. That is what life is all about. If she screws around it was NOT meant to be. Perhaps time apart will make the heart grow fonder and perhaps it will break the bonds of love. Its worth finding out though isn't it, if she is in all actuality "THE ONE".
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If its meant to be ..it will be
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mrxtrmesports4622 wrote: »Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.
Trust is a must, communication, and plan Skype dinner dates, and plan visits maybe? If you don't trust her you're going to be having these thoughts a lot and it's not healthy for your mind. I personally don't do long distance anymore that *kitten* sucks. But if yall love each other and work at it can work0 -
We all know it can work.... The question is, are you a gambling man??? What do you think are the odds of a college age romance surviving a long distance relationship?0
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A long distance relationship will seriously test your relationship in ways you probably didn't even know about, but if it is meant to work out then no temptations, distance or time will change that.
Let me ask you this, though: are you happy? Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person? Or are you with her because you guys were high school sweethearts and it's all you know? People grow, and change a huge amount in their late teens/early 20s so don't be surprised if this doesn't work. It might, there's plenty of high school sweethearts out there and this could be it for you guys.
Long distance can work, and it has for many couples in the world but that doesn't mean this relationship being long distance will be the reason it ends. It might magnify the issues or make you realize it's not right for you, long term, but you will figure it out as you go.
She might not cheat on you, but she might realize that the relationship just isn't right for her or you might realize it's not right for you. I think you should take this time to stop worrying about what she's doing and worry about living your life because if it ends (for any reason) then you have essentially wasted X amount of time worrying about something you can't control anyways.
Trust me - do you! Build yourself up, start a hobby, join a club, do something. She's getting her college experience so have your experiences. There's a lot you can do that doesn't involve 'cheating' on your relationship.1 -
it likely wont work out due to age/ being in college due to many factors
my wife started out long distance though (her in NY me in CA). were now married with a kid. she was able to travel a lot for work, and i live in the town she grew up in so she had lots of means and reasons to come home. i visited her NY a few times as well0 -
My fiancé and I have been long distance for almost 3 years now. We are getting married in June. It can work, but I can tell you that had we met even 5 years ago, it never would've worked out. We weren't ready for it. We both reached a point in our lives where we can be trusting and independent of each other without worrying. We talk through things, a lot! We accept each other's faults, and trust each other fully. Maturity has a lot to do with it for sure! If you both aren't willing, it won't work. No sense in wondering or worrying about what ifs.2
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AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »mrxtrmesports4622 wrote: »Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.
... you don't think she'd ever cheat on you........but you think she might cheat on you. Ok.
and trust and loyalty are huge for you...but you dont trust her to be loyal
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Your young, obviously, go out, party your *kitten* off, she will do the same thing. You will meet other people, she will, enjoy your younger years and all the tail you could be chasing. Im sure you think you love her. Im sure she thinks she loves you too. How ever worrying about it, stressing out, is not healthy. Have fun, that's what college is there for.0
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In my experience, it doesn't usually workout unless it's a very temporary thing.
My high school sweet heart and I dated for two years in high school. We graduated and spent the summer frolicking about and telling each other that what we had was going to be forever. She left for school in Texas and I headed off for military service. We ultimately held things somewhat together for 9-12 months, but it was just too much.
Distance was only one issue and it was a difficult one as I couldn't just hop on a plane or whatever from San Diego to San Antonio on any kind of regular basis...so seeing each other was more or less relegated to holidays when we'd travel home. Also, this was over 20 years ago...no cell phones so only occasional long distance calls and a lot of letter writing.
There were other issues at play here as well though...we were both young and still coming to discover ourselves and grow as people. She was meeting new friends and gleaning perspectives on life that didn't exist before...so was I. Ultimately the relationship just fizzled out.
Interestingly enough, we're still friends and still talk to each other from time to time...but OMG are we ever completely different people than we were when we were 19...I mean, that was part of the issue too...we were both evolving to be much different people than we were when we graduated high school. As we grew as people we found that we were growing in different directions and no longer had many of the commonalities we had as teenagers in love.
Of course, at the time I was devastated and basically thought my world had ended and I would never be in love or marry or have a family...I am now married to the love of my life and my best friend and we have two wonderful boys together...funny how things ultimately work out.0 -
I advise you to worry about this day and night. You will only come to a solution once you agonize over it for at least a couple months. Stay celibate at all times. Even if she says she is seeing other people. Don't give up, she will come around again. No matter the distance or how much you change, this was meant to be. There really are no other fish in the sea. its a myth.0
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Odds are against a positive outcome. One of you will meet someone. Step up your game and meet someone first.0
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mrxtrmesports4622 wrote: »Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.
Maybe just enjoy the time you have and communicate as much as you can. Try to maintain a shared interest.
If you do not trust her just thinking about it then I doubt a long distance relationship will work out between you though.
She is the person she is. If she loves you deeply and is a faithful and loyal person within a mile of you then she will be 1000 miles from you. You seem to doubt her depth of feeling.
Many young relationships do not work out less because of distance than because people grow and change during those years as they get out in the world. It is natural.
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I think if it's real love there should be no anxiety.0
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