Long distance

Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.
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Replies

  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,952 Member
    Write this down. Don't do long distance!!!!! Move on man.... You're holding on too tight. Worrying will get you no where.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,491 Member
    If the relationship is solid there is no what ifs and what nots. In college means your girlfriend is going have her college experience, worrying about what she may or may not do might drive you insane. Trust her or do not trust her, you have to choose one.
  • LBgetsfit
    LBgetsfit Posts: 769 Member
    Sounds like that trust piece you talk about is missing...
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.

    ... you don't think she'd ever cheat on you........but you think she might cheat on you. Ok.
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,862 Member
    All you need is communication and trust. If it's not meant to be then it'll end.
  • lisciousg24
    lisciousg24 Posts: 189 Member
    crg808 wrote: »
    Currently doing long distance, have been for around 4 months or so

    Distance can be tough, but for me, it's very very worth it.

    It's only distance, and not forever. When someone is special to you, distance can be overcome 100%

    Trust your gut instinct - when you know, you know

    This!!!
    When a person really cares distance doesn't matter
  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
    Long distance relationships can be so hard, and take a lot of effort on both ends.

    My husband proposed to me right before he left for grad school, and we spent the whole year we were engaged living 7 hours apart. We saw each other maybe 4 or 5 times in that year. Then he got done for the summer, and we were married, and suddenly living together after living long distance. It was a serious adjustment! (P.S. planning a wedding long distance? Total relationship test! :D )

    You can do it, and it can work, if you *both* think it's worth it, and *both* make the effort.

    Good luck to you, and I hope you guys can figure out something that works for you!
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,354 Member
    Punt.
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 21,031 Member
    LL5lifts wrote: »
    If you want each other bad enough you can make anything work. You are going to have to be mature and trusting and give it a chance. That is what life is all about. If she screws around it was NOT meant to be. Perhaps time apart will make the heart grow fonder and perhaps it will break the bonds of love. Its worth finding out though isn't it, if she is in all actuality "THE ONE".

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  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 270,516 Member
    If its meant to be ..it will be

  • ZodFit
    ZodFit Posts: 394 Member
    edited February 2017
    Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.

    Trust is a must, communication, and plan Skype dinner dates, and plan visits maybe? If you don't trust her you're going to be having these thoughts a lot and it's not healthy for your mind. I personally don't do long distance anymore that *kitten* sucks. But if yall love each other and work at it can work
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,952 Member
    We all know it can work.... The question is, are you a gambling man??? What do you think are the odds of a college age romance surviving a long distance relationship?
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    A long distance relationship will seriously test your relationship in ways you probably didn't even know about, but if it is meant to work out then no temptations, distance or time will change that.

    Let me ask you this, though: are you happy? Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person? Or are you with her because you guys were high school sweethearts and it's all you know? People grow, and change a huge amount in their late teens/early 20s so don't be surprised if this doesn't work. It might, there's plenty of high school sweethearts out there and this could be it for you guys.

    Long distance can work, and it has for many couples in the world but that doesn't mean this relationship being long distance will be the reason it ends. It might magnify the issues or make you realize it's not right for you, long term, but you will figure it out as you go.

    She might not cheat on you, but she might realize that the relationship just isn't right for her or you might realize it's not right for you. I think you should take this time to stop worrying about what she's doing and worry about living your life because if it ends (for any reason) then you have essentially wasted X amount of time worrying about something you can't control anyways.

    Trust me - do you! Build yourself up, start a hobby, join a club, do something. She's getting her college experience so have your experiences. There's a lot you can do that doesn't involve 'cheating' on your relationship.
  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,507 Member
    it likely wont work out due to age/ being in college due to many factors

    my wife started out long distance though (her in NY me in CA). were now married with a kid. she was able to travel a lot for work, and i live in the town she grew up in so she had lots of means and reasons to come home. i visited her NY a few times as well
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    My fiancé and I have been long distance for almost 3 years now. We are getting married in June. It can work, but I can tell you that had we met even 5 years ago, it never would've worked out. We weren't ready for it. We both reached a point in our lives where we can be trusting and independent of each other without worrying. We talk through things, a lot! We accept each other's faults, and trust each other fully. Maturity has a lot to do with it for sure! If you both aren't willing, it won't work. No sense in wondering or worrying about what ifs.