Long distance

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Replies

  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,507 Member
    Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.

    ... you don't think she'd ever cheat on you........but you think she might cheat on you. Ok.

    and trust and loyalty are huge for you...but you dont trust her to be loyal

  • PowerMan40
    PowerMan40 Posts: 766 Member
    Your young, obviously, go out, party your *kitten* off, she will do the same thing. You will meet other people, she will, enjoy your younger years and all the tail you could be chasing. Im sure you think you love her. Im sure she thinks she loves you too. How ever worrying about it, stressing out, is not healthy. Have fun, that's what college is there for.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,016 Member
    edited February 2017
    In my experience, it doesn't usually workout unless it's a very temporary thing.

    My high school sweet heart and I dated for two years in high school. We graduated and spent the summer frolicking about and telling each other that what we had was going to be forever. She left for school in Texas and I headed off for military service. We ultimately held things somewhat together for 9-12 months, but it was just too much.

    Distance was only one issue and it was a difficult one as I couldn't just hop on a plane or whatever from San Diego to San Antonio on any kind of regular basis...so seeing each other was more or less relegated to holidays when we'd travel home. Also, this was over 20 years ago...no cell phones so only occasional long distance calls and a lot of letter writing.

    There were other issues at play here as well though...we were both young and still coming to discover ourselves and grow as people. She was meeting new friends and gleaning perspectives on life that didn't exist before...so was I. Ultimately the relationship just fizzled out.

    Interestingly enough, we're still friends and still talk to each other from time to time...but OMG are we ever completely different people than we were when we were 19...I mean, that was part of the issue too...we were both evolving to be much different people than we were when we graduated high school. As we grew as people we found that we were growing in different directions and no longer had many of the commonalities we had as teenagers in love.

    Of course, at the time I was devastated and basically thought my world had ended and I would never be in love or marry or have a family...I am now married to the love of my life and my best friend and we have two wonderful boys together...funny how things ultimately work out.
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,952 Member
    I advise you to worry about this day and night. You will only come to a solution once you agonize over it for at least a couple months. Stay celibate at all times. Even if she says she is seeing other people. Don't give up, she will come around again. No matter the distance or how much you change, this was meant to be. There really are no other fish in the sea. its a myth.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,800 Member
    Odds are against a positive outcome. One of you will meet someone. Step up your game and meet someone first.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,427 Member
    Does anyone have any tips on how to do long distance relationships? My girlfriend is away at college and I just worry about the " what ifs" and what not. I don't think she would ever cheat on my but it's always in the back of my mind you know? Especially when she goes out. I love this girl with all my heart. I just want everything to workout. Trust and loyalty are huge for me.

    Maybe just enjoy the time you have and communicate as much as you can. Try to maintain a shared interest.

    If you do not trust her just thinking about it then I doubt a long distance relationship will work out between you though.
    She is the person she is. If she loves you deeply and is a faithful and loyal person within a mile of you then she will be 1000 miles from you. You seem to doubt her depth of feeling.
    Many young relationships do not work out less because of distance than because people grow and change during those years as they get out in the world. It is natural.
  • ZodFit
    ZodFit Posts: 394 Member
    I think if it's real love there should be no anxiety.