My date with the person above me was going great until...

terrordawg

She ditched me for Bill’s parents’ chocolate cake

back_in_black

She poisoned me

Adele_D

He called his side chick

terrordawg

I passed out from the choke hold she had me in

whiskey1975

I got over excited to the previous comment

Adele_D

I choked him too

Bill9160

She ate all my chocolate cake

AliNouveau

He grabbed the salt and pepper shakers and put them in his pockets

katerwedo

we fought over the last piece of chocolate cake

AliNouveau

I smushed the cake in her face. She didn't appreciate the moisturizing qualities of frosting

katerwedo

She was mad I kept beating her in armwrastlin' ....... always over cake.

AliNouveau

She got up to go look at the dessert case and never came back. I later saw her in the back alley elbow deep in cake

Bill9160

Her cake fetish had gone too far

katerwedo

He had no money in his wallet

Bill9160

She had taken all the money out of my wallet

tkyerxa

He ran off to the bathroom and didn’t come back

tarekhamouda7445

she asked for a new car

Bill9160

He discovered the Mrs Pac-man machine

AliNouveau

I realized he ha sent his twin brother Mark in his place. Mark is the evil twin i was scared

katerwedo

Shes not a very good kisser

whiskey1975

She decided to kiss more women

katerwedo

didn't like to watch me make out with other women

whiskey1975

Misunderstood me not wanting to watch her make out with other women

Bill9160

He had a significant wardrobe malfunction in the restaurant

back_in_black

He kept referring to himself in the third person. "Bill is getting hungry".

AliNouveau

He said we were going to go see an awesome movie and took me to some weird subtitled movie in Finnish

katerwedo

she wouldn't let go of my hand

Bill9160

She refused to wear the Wonder Woman underwear I bought her

katerwedo

he never washed his underwear

Bill9160

She told everyone of my laundry issue