My date with the person above me was going great until...

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YosemiteSlamAK

We had to spend the night in the ER

liftorgohome

She wouldn't bail me out and I had to stay in a cell with big bubba

YosemiteSlamAK

He left us for Big Bubba. Something about his soft hands?

lunidevojka

нe woυldnт υѕe тнe cυтlery .

liftorgohome

She wouldn't come back to my place for a dip in the hot tub and drinks.

threeshotlucy

Come to find out it was his Mama's house and the hot tub was cold and the drinks was hot.

liftorgohome

Turned out after three shots she passed out.

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Renegade770

We had a huge fight over which is better Reese pieces or M & M's

lunidevojka

нe woυldn'т тaĸe тнe нeadpнoneѕ oғғ. ѕaιd тнey were "cool".

YosemiteSlamAK

He said I wasn't as hot as Rob Gronkowski!

Watching_The_Wheels

My medication wore off

shenanigans_

His boyfriend showed up.

Egger29

There weren't as many actual shenanigans as anticipated

YosemiteSlamAK

We ran out of awesome shirts to one up the other with! It took 3 days cause we're that awesome

lunidevojka

нe тнrew нιs drιnĸ on тнe ғloor and ѕaιd мore мead now!

Renegade770

She thought the strip club on a first date was in bad taste

Egger29

He left the strip club when it was my turn to do my set.

shenanigans_

He left me with the bill

beastier

She started putting her clothes back on

SouthernMamaUnderConsruction

He started sucking his thumb and asking for his mom

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dervari

A major backbone data circuit at our data center went Tango Uniform.

nilimel

until he got drunk off of one drink smh

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Watching_The_Wheels

We realized it was a school night

activities1

He asked me to trim his toenails.. with my teeth.

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Dyl1789

I realised that he'd already been to dinner with @slimgirljo15 and was now out with me.......the two-timing slapper!