Fell off the wagon..how to stop being mad

150poundsofme

p.s. Reaverie, "...I would overeat anything that wasn't an enforced limit" So very true, I love it. Thanks!

AnnPT77

As a data geek in general, I logged pretty accurately while losing, weighed myself every morning, and consequently developed a very clear understanding of my weight loss rate and weight fluctuations.

This let me treat losing like a big, fun science fair project for grown-ups.

If I ate "X" over goal, I could quickly estimate how many days that would delay my reaching ultimate goal (usually not many), and that helped me get back on my healthy track. I could typically predict with great accuracy when any water weight would drop off, and when I'd start to see true loss on the scale again.

For special occasions, I would even think in advance about whether indulging more in food/drink was worth those extra days (sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't). Thinking about it this way made me feel like it was an understandable process, and that I was in control of that process.

Drama, guilt, etc., don't burn any calories. At an extreme, the increased stress from that kind of thinking could even result in slower weight loss (that's a stretch - but it's no stretch to say stressing about it won't make it faster).

Food is not a sin that requires retribution when we overindulge. It's just food.

MostMidgetlegs

I take it day by day. I may do bad one day, but I won't say oh, I already messed up yesterday so what does it matter if I mess up today too? Every day is a new start. And, if I know that I messed up for a reason (like, for instance, if I discover that I seem to have no control when it comes to a particular food), I'll make sure not to keep that food in the house. On the other hand, I keep a bit of chocolate hidden away. If I have a sweet tooth that just won't quit, I'll have a few pieces to satiate that craving. I never get an urge to polish off the bag, so I feel okay having it there for those moments.

amusedmonkey

Don't think of it as a wagon ride, think of it as a hike. You're not passively sitting there holding on to rigid rails for dear life, having no control over bumps in the road beyond attempting to hold on tighter (which isn't always successful) then falling off letting it pass you by where anxiously trying to catch up and hop back on is hard and stressful. Instead, you have general guideline on how to handle different situations on a hike, anticipating the terrain, changing your strategy accordingly when needed. The ups and downs are a part of the process, not a deviation. If you trip, it's not the end of the hike. You just get up and look to see what caused the issue, learn from it and move on.

To translate away from metaphor and into real life dieting:

Rules are good to have. They are helpful as a guideline for what works for you, but you need to learn to bend them when necessary to fit the situation. You also need to pick your own personalized rules based on your own experience that are not arbitrary or too rigid. For example, if eliminating certain foods genuinely makes dieting easier for you, that's a good rule of thumb to keep around, and if you happen to break it, you know it's just a temporary decision you made for a certain situation and that not following it every now and then does not make your rule any less helpful in the future. If you decide to eliminate something just because someone said you should, that's a bad rule and is completely unnecessary because it doesn't take you into account as an individual. Holding on to it feels like a struggle, and deviating from it feels like a failure because it's a rule without context.

Trying to have a perfect diet day every single day is a recipe for frustration. Not being perfect every now and then is just part of the process, not a deviation. Life is going to throw all kinds of situations at you, both situational and mental challenges. That's just how life works. Expecting life to be perfect all the time is gullible. I had many days where I decided I will be eating at maintenance or even slightly over for whatever reason. Thinking of it as something I decided with full control made it feel more like a part of the plan, not loss of control. Taking perfect steps forward should not be your goal, but taking more steps forward than backward would be a better goal to have.

Situational flexibility and future planning is also very important. Think about your previous challenges. When did you deviate? Was it a social event? Was it stress? Lack of sleep? Emotional eating? Boredom? Someone offering you food? After some trial and error you will know what works for you in most situations. For example, I tend to bend the rules and eat over calories on social situations, enjoying my time and not stressing too much about it because I know stress backfires for me. When I'm stressed or bored I play videogames because it keeps my hands busy until the feeling subsides. If someone offers me food I ask myself if I really want it and it's worth the calories, say no thank you if I don't, and it take it if I want it, adjusting my other meals accordingly...etc. You may not be successful at executing your plans every time, and that's alright. If you are successful at least sometimes, that's progress.

It all boils down to treating your diet as life, not as a special phase in a bubble, and not expecting to be so darn perfect all the time.

kq1981

I get the whole food guilt thing so much! But read more forums here and you'll learn so so much about calorie in /out from amazing people who have been journeying this path for a long time.
I'm losing weight! FINALLY! After YEARS. AND I eat treats. I ate KFC to day and I just do not care. Because I was still under my daily calorie allowance and it's really ok.
Important thing is you're back and ready to get going, not restarting, not getting back on the Wagon, but overcoming that slight bump in the road.
Good luck!!!!!

janislil

We all do it... When I first started on a 20-30 carb diet, I did 50 carbs one day, and beat myself up over it ... until I read, "stressing will sabotage your diet goals". That was motivation enough for me. Pick yourself up, dust off and start over a.s.a.p. (bake yourself low carb deserts, they are usually also low cal). Good luck!

size102b

Get back on that wagon now or it's a life time yoyoing believe me I'm there 29 years yoyoing every year is much harder
You need to say this is for life so eat the foods in your allowance you actually like and do exercise you can actually stick with as if you do the all or nothing approach you'll end up fatter each year

I started in 1987 at 112lbs wanting to get back down to 105lbs that was a duet not a lifestyle change roll on to 2006 I was 244 lbs with years of yoyoing large chunks off and on
I'm now 47 still trying to get into my head if I'd stuck in my wagon I'd not be struggling to lose weight as yoyoing damages your body it becomes harder all round to lose weight your body simply knows and mentally it's frustrating

If I'd only stuck at this and exercise in 2012 the last 5 years I'd not list and gained the same 70 lbs over and over

USE ME AS WHAT COULD BE YOUR FUTURE

GottaBurnEmAll

lorrpb wrote: »

My suggestion is to quit calling it a wagon. It's a journey. If you go on a trip and make a wrong turn, do you just sit there and stew and give up? Do you turn around and go back home to start over? Hopefully neither of these. Hopefully you just make a course correction and continue your trip. That's how life and weight loss is. I think people create way too much drama and angst when they talk about falling off or starting over. If you literally fall off a wagon, you stand up, brush off the dust, step up, and keep going, right? In weight loss, you just continue weighing and logging your food, regardless of what you eat. That act in and of itself is usually enough to help us change our habits.

This.

Additionally, if you continually "fall off the wagon", try to analyze why. Something might be wrong with your planned route or the wagon itself. Are you being too restrictive with either food choice or calories? Have your menus become boring or repetitive?

I've pulled myself out of these issues a few times simply by trying new recipes or a new running route/running music.

My biggest personal pitfalls are over restriction and boredom.

Discover what yours are by thinking about your habits/pattern before your overeating so you can implement strategies to combat them.

But... definitely don't beat yourself up over it. It's okay to have days where you're simply off your game too. I'm going through something pretty scary medically right now and I had 4 days where it was at its worst that I just DGAF about calories and pretty much stress ate my way through them. Looking back, it wasn't the best coping mechanism, but I did what I could to get through them.

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ashcky

No journey is static. There will be obstacles, ebbs and flows. Times that are easier and moments where it's harder. When I get to those hard moments I remind myself where I started, how far I've come, and where I want to be. That motivates me to push forward. I don't beat myself up for going over my calories, I didn't make unreasonable changes in my diet or exercise habits. My goal has been to keep the food and activity level to a range that I can maintain for the rest of my life. I try to keep a positive perspective because being negative only makes a person feel worse about themselves and the situation.

hookandy

One trick that I use in this mind game is to look at my daily figure and compare it to my goal.... Then compare it to my daily maintenance figure. I wish that MFP would not go red when I go 1 cal over my daily goal. I am still in deficit, (500 if set to 1lb per week) If I am over my maintenance figure I look at my weekly figures....

150poundsofme

- Amusedmonk - what you wrote was so accurate, thank you

amusedmonkey

150poundsofme wrote: »

- Amusedmonk - what you wrote was so accurate, thank you

That's just what I feel makes the most pleasant dieting experience for me. My previous post was made with a recent curveball in mind that made me feel good and proud of myself because I was able to handle it properly (I don't always manage to do what's right, but when I do I feel good about it).

I was out all day a few days ago and made the mistake of not making food arrangements. I thought the place I was going to would have a restaurant or at least a shop where I could buy ready to eat tuna, but it turned out to be a place in the middle of nowhere with no access to any kind of decent food except for a small makeshift snacks stand run by the event organizers. To make it worse, we stayed there longer than I anticipated. My nutrition was absolutely horrible for lunch and dinner as a result, and when I came home I was too tired to cook anything so I just had microwave popcorn. Unexpected, but not the end of the world. I had to break my usual rule of "no more than 250 calories a day for higher calorie snacks, preferably one serving of one kind". Bright side? I stayed within my calories more or less so no harm done. Interestingly I wasn't hungry, maybe because I was busy. I did not feel bad about it, and that in itself was a victory and a huge change in perspective from a few years ago. Next day I was back to usual like nothing happened.