My Dr made me feel like crap yesterday....

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  • HLITTMAN2
    HLITTMAN2 Posts: 2 Member
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    You should give your doctor some feed back. She needs it. Think of it as helping another person who is more vulnerable that you that will come after you. Some people are really tactless. I'm a doctor and I have a lot of problems with my weight. I try to be tactful because how much you weigh or how big your muscles are doesn't make you a better person. I would love to be in the shape you are in in either of your photos. I want to lose weight to be healthier. The older you get the more problems you have from being overweight. You don't have to be perfect either. I just would like to be able to be more active and do a lot of things that I physically can't now because of my weight. I would not leave your doctor because of one tactless comment. You need to tell her that she didn't handle it well and about your history of anorexia. She needs to learn how to be tactful and kind. Think of it as a public service. If she does it again, tell her you will be changing doctors because of it so she knows!
  • RedSquadronLeader
    RedSquadronLeader Posts: 84 Member
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    OP, don't let the doc get you down. In some (mostly Asian) cultures where it seems like there's a hyperfocus on weight, it's been explained to me that people saying "Wow! You've gained!" is more often not a judgmental comment, and not even coming from a place of "you'd be healthier to lose that" - it's more people showing that they notice and care about you and your well-being, and commenting on changes is a way to do that. That might not be exactly where your doc is coming from - she may have just been surprised at the change and had a "foot-in-mouth" moment - but really, you look FANTASTIC in both pics. So much strength and you look healthy, fit, and confident.

    If you want to lose the weight you gained that's your personal decision, but don't let others' comments make you feel bad about yourself wherever you're at on the journey.
  • cbl40
    cbl40 Posts: 281 Member
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    I don't think the doctor was being malicious. Weight gain is linked to many health issues. OP is not obese, but doctor was smart to mention it before it continued in a downward spiral. I also think he/she may have been wondering about other issues going on behind the scenes, like depression, that may have contributed to weight gain. Maybe they were thinking she used to be so fit, why is she not taking care of herself the way she used to? Doctors try and look at the whole picture, your mind and your body. Try not to let it get you down. You agreed you put on weight, you can take it off. Only you have that power within you. :)
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,953 Member
    edited March 2017
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    You look like you've put on more muscle in the first photo as well, which is a great thing! You can still see plenty of ab definition (enough to make me jealous :) ) I'm surprised your doctor would say anything about those 15-20 lbs, considering you still seem to be completely healthy, and considering she knows your history. I don't think you need to pressure yourself too much. You can lose if you want, but please don't do it just because you feel triggered. You are gorgeous!
  • Larissa_NY
    Larissa_NY Posts: 495 Member
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    It doesn't matter what the doctor's motives were. It matters that - whether you're a doctor or not - you do not blurt out "You've put on a lot of weight!" at the first sight of someone you know has a history of eating disorders, because it will be triggering and you will potentially be doing them harm, which is a thing doctors tend to want to avoid. There were better ways to raise the issue if she felt it needed to be raised.

    Don't find a new doctor because she made a comment about your weight. Find a new doctor because the one you have now is tactless and unprofessional and clearly doesn't know how to treat ED patients without stepping on land mines.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    I like the first picture better
  • 1ocean1girl
    1ocean1girl Posts: 197 Member
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    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »
    There is nothing wrong with you in either of the photos. You look amazing.

    Your Dr needs to watch her mouth.

    Agreed... from your photos you have an amazing lean and athletic body. You look great in both! If you didn't think you needed to lose weight before seeing the dr; then keep up with your routine and be at the weight YOU feel happy with.
  • buglesalmoncatgirl
    buglesalmoncatgirl Posts: 43 Member
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    You look so great! Both pics.
  • fishgutzy
    fishgutzy Posts: 2,807 Member
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    I wish I had your arm in the first picture :dizzy:
    Looks to me like you gained muscle. Being strong is not bad.
    Too many doctors are still hung up on the weight number only without regard for content.
  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
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    Maybe if your doctor knows your anorexia history, he/she was actually pleased that you gained weight. I think you look awesome in both pics! Don't let anyone steal your peace of mind!
  • Gaygirl2120
    Gaygirl2120 Posts: 541 Member
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    I just wanted to thank everyone for all the kind words of support. Now as far as my Dr goes I don't think she was trying to be malicious towards me at all. But she also didn't come at me in a concerned matter because she made the comment about my weight gain & then just moved right on to the reason I was there. She didn't ask about the gain, what caused it etc. But like I said she is very blunt at times & it is something that has bothered me before so I probably will be looking for a new primary care Dr. But it's also a wake up call to kick myself back into gear & get rid of this extra weight. But thank you again everyone.
  • mir1104
    mir1104 Posts: 101 Member
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    May I be 100% fully completely honest? There are a million people on this planet and plenty of them are on this website too that would KILL to look like you right now.
    I assume she looks like a fitness model to be in a position to judge at all, and should have a full 8 pack too. Doesn't she? Then she is not in a position to argue.
  • Gaygirl2120
    Gaygirl2120 Posts: 541 Member
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    mir1104 wrote: »
    May I be 100% fully completely honest? There are a million people on this planet and plenty of them are on this website too that would KILL to look like you right now.
    I assume she looks like a fitness model to be in a position to judge at all, and should have a full 8 pack too. Doesn't she? Then she is not in a position to argue.

    Thank you so much :)
  • Okohme
    Okohme Posts: 152 Member
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    I can see your abs in both pics and am jelly.
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
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    I can't tell which is supposed to be the heavier picture......You look freaken amazing in both!
  • BootCampC
    BootCampC Posts: 689 Member
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    I had a similar experience , Dr. told me I could use to lose a few lbs , I was only 185 at the time , I took a look at him and said I guess you do too! It didn't bother made me laugh a bit since he is over 300..
  • BootCampC
    BootCampC Posts: 689 Member
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    you look great , don't think about it or let it make you feel bad. if your cholesterol and sugars are in check , keep on doing what your doin
  • readytobeatfat54
    readytobeatfat54 Posts: 91 Member
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    Jax2120 wrote: »
    Thank you everyone. Yes my Dr is aware of my eating disorder. She had to refer me to a gastroenterologist because I was abusing laxatives & my bowls almost stopped working & I was in a lot of pain. But it's possible she forgot she must see so many patients. But I do think its time to find a new Dr. She can be very blunt sometimes & it is triggering.

    In your situation I can't understand the doctor's bluntness. You honestly look great. Even if she wanted to point out the weight gain she could have followed up with something to clarify her stance: "you gained weight and it is a healthy weight."

    I sometimes appreciate bluntness. Don't misunderstand this as a blanket statement. But sometimes I think people hear what they want to hear, with rose colored glasses blinding out all but the blunt or obvious. I have a friend who has to be close to 400lbs and he says that his doctors say he has perfect health--this can't possibly be accurate, but I also don't know what they say to him. Sure, he may not have diabetes or high cholesterol, at least not yet. Without aggressive lifestyle change he will remain much higher risk of both, in addition to many other conditions. I imagine his doctor casually looks at his blood work, "looks good, make sure you try and lose a few pounds" which of course this friend already knows, and takes it to mean that all is well. If his doctor instead sat down and said, "look, bloodwork is reassuring, but we need to address your weight before its too late, let's talk about how we can do it," he would hopefully have a different attitude.
  • catmomfat
    catmomfat Posts: 97 Member
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    Damn girl! I want your arms and abs in picture too. You look like Michonne in walking dead.

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