Weight loss for 19 year old girl
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@Look_Its_Kriss
I was trying a different approach to try to get through to this girl. She isn't responding to anything anyone is saying.2 -
I am a swimmer and a coach, please do not think of yourself as fat. Number 1 reason: you are at a normal weight for your height. Number 2 reason: Much of your weight, especially if you are practicing and running comes from your muscle mass, and trust me as a swimmer this is NOT something you want to lose. If you are swimming and running you should be eating more calories than you are to maintain a healthy weight that will help you with your swimming and other activities. If you were to look at swimmers who are healthy and fast, their caloric intake for the day exceeds those of other sports activities. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist, they are professionals that can help you.7
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Erinswim92 wrote: »I am a swimmer and a coach, please do not think of yourself as fat. Number 1 reason: you are at a normal weight for your height. Number 2 reason: Much of your weight, especially if you are practicing and running comes from your muscle mass, and trust me as a swimmer this is NOT something you want to lose. If you are swimming and running you should be eating more calories than you are to maintain a healthy weight that will help you with your swimming and other activities. If you were to look at swimmers who are healthy and fast, their caloric intake for the day exceeds those of other sports activities. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist, they are professionals that can help you.Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »@nickiphillips1 I understand that.. thats why i said not to negate anything positive you were trying to do..
However there are a lot of people who lurk boards and it's very important at the end of the day that not only you.. the OP but everyone else participating in these discussions gets real, valid information, scare tactics with misinformation can often push a person further into the hole they are in.. if shes already been starving herself in attempts to lose weight she might also believe that its too late now and she really messed up. When in reality she hasn't yet, she has TONS of opportunity here to take hold and change her views on herself to see the beautiful person she is.
The reason why it's important to correct for the lurkers is because people pick and choose which information they take in and which they don't.. if there is nothing correcting information given, most peoples deduction is that the information must then be valid, they accept it as valid and then go on to share this information with others..nickiphillips1 wrote: »@Look_Its_Kriss
I was trying a different approach to try to get through to this girl. She isn't responding to anything anyone is saying.kenyonhaff wrote: »As a former competitive swimmer....I trained with a team that produced an Olympian in my team...you can't be competitive on that few calories.Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »nickiphillips1 wrote: »As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.
When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.
@nickiphillips1
Please do not take this as me trying to negate the positive effect you are trying to have on the OP but some of your information is misinformed and i feel like not only the OP could benefit from this correction but also yourself as well.
There are no certain foods that get specifically turned into fat, fat is made when you eat more calories then you burn and the body then turns it to fat to be stored for later use, we gain weight because we keep eating in a calorie surplus, thus never getting to the point of using that stored energy.
Also there is no such thing as starvation mode or protection mode, the body does not store fat this way, if this was the case there would be no anorexics, eating less does not cause the body to store fat, Weight loss will happen with less calories. too few calories often means nutrient deficiencies and it can also mean lean muscle loss resulting in a lower BMR, having a lower then normal BMR can cause weight gain if you ate a normal amount of calories as someone else at the same age, weight and height. But this is not starvation mode either, this is just simply the result of not giving your body what it needs and your body using itself to get it. This does not happen based on a few times of eating too little, this is from a prolonged period of time of under eating.nickiphillips1 wrote: »As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.
When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.TavistockToad wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »You need to talk to a doctor about how you see yourself. Eating 850 calories and having 2 hours of swim practice per day is destructive. At 19 years old you are in the process of destroying your body and that will have long term consequences. Please go seek help.
https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resourcesOP, please book an appointment with a health professional IMMEDIATELY. You need to get help with your incredibly disordered thinking.CafeRacer808 wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »I track it on this app. I have my daily calorie limit set at 850 and it ranges between 750-1100. I track every single calorie, I obsess over it, it consumes my mind, so I know it is accurate. But I am just so ugly and so fat and I hate myself because I used to be so much thinner- weighing approximately 121 lbs and now I can't seem to get back down to that. I feel suffocated and trapped and I don't know what to do. I hate myself. I hate how fat I am and what I look like. I try to limit my eating but I can't and then I beat myself up relentlessly for failing .
All of this is deeply troubling. 140 lbs is right in the middle of a healthy weight range for someone who's 5'7". Your very low calorie diet is both unhealthy and it's not providing you with nearly enough calories to fuel your swimming workouts, which is also very unhealthy. Equally concerning are the thoughts you have about yourself and your weight.
You're on a path that is both physically and mentally/psychologically destructive. Please speak to your doctor or a qualified therapist as soon as possible.You really need to talk to someone about this--whether it's your parents, your coach, or your doctor... You are legally an adult, but you need to take the first step in getting this sorted out before it becomes dangerous.Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »It pains me to hear people speak so negatively about themselves.
We have so many people in our lives who try to tear us down... But the only person who shouldn't be tearing you down is you. Self Love is a hard thing to learn OP and if i could see my 19 year old self the things i would tell her now as a 31 year old.. You are Young, and undoubtedly beautiful inside and out and smart and a person with qualities like that should definitely take charge of herself and learn to acknowledge and appreciate these things early on even if it means finding someone to talk to and teach you how to see these things.There are so many things in your post and reply that worry me, OP. Please speak with a professional.
^^^ thank you for the concern everyone. I am ashamed to get help and I don't want to become even fatter than I already am by going to therapy and being forced to eat more. I have to lose at least 25 pounds.
No, you need to get better, not lose more weight
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.0 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »Erinswim92 wrote: »I am a swimmer and a coach, please do not think of yourself as fat. Number 1 reason: you are at a normal weight for your height. Number 2 reason: Much of your weight, especially if you are practicing and running comes from your muscle mass, and trust me as a swimmer this is NOT something you want to lose. If you are swimming and running you should be eating more calories than you are to maintain a healthy weight that will help you with your swimming and other activities. If you were to look at swimmers who are healthy and fast, their caloric intake for the day exceeds those of other sports activities. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist, they are professionals that can help you.Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »@nickiphillips1 I understand that.. thats why i said not to negate anything positive you were trying to do..
However there are a lot of people who lurk boards and it's very important at the end of the day that not only you.. the OP but everyone else participating in these discussions gets real, valid information, scare tactics with misinformation can often push a person further into the hole they are in.. if shes already been starving herself in attempts to lose weight she might also believe that its too late now and she really messed up. When in reality she hasn't yet, she has TONS of opportunity here to take hold and change her views on herself to see the beautiful person she is.
The reason why it's important to correct for the lurkers is because people pick and choose which information they take in and which they don't.. if there is nothing correcting information given, most peoples deduction is that the information must then be valid, they accept it as valid and then go on to share this information with others..nickiphillips1 wrote: »@Look_Its_Kriss
I was trying a different approach to try to get through to this girl. She isn't responding to anything anyone is saying.kenyonhaff wrote: »As a former competitive swimmer....I trained with a team that produced an Olympian in my team...you can't be competitive on that few calories.Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »nickiphillips1 wrote: »As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.
When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.
@nickiphillips1
Please do not take this as me trying to negate the positive effect you are trying to have on the OP but some of your information is misinformed and i feel like not only the OP could benefit from this correction but also yourself as well.
There are no certain foods that get specifically turned into fat, fat is made when you eat more calories then you burn and the body then turns it to fat to be stored for later use, we gain weight because we keep eating in a calorie surplus, thus never getting to the point of using that stored energy.
Also there is no such thing as starvation mode or protection mode, the body does not store fat this way, if this was the case there would be no anorexics, eating less does not cause the body to store fat, Weight loss will happen with less calories. too few calories often means nutrient deficiencies and it can also mean lean muscle loss resulting in a lower BMR, having a lower then normal BMR can cause weight gain if you ate a normal amount of calories as someone else at the same age, weight and height. But this is not starvation mode either, this is just simply the result of not giving your body what it needs and your body using itself to get it. This does not happen based on a few times of eating too little, this is from a prolonged period of time of under eating.nickiphillips1 wrote: »As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.
When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.TavistockToad wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »You need to talk to a doctor about how you see yourself. Eating 850 calories and having 2 hours of swim practice per day is destructive. At 19 years old you are in the process of destroying your body and that will have long term consequences. Please go seek help.
https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resourcesOP, please book an appointment with a health professional IMMEDIATELY. You need to get help with your incredibly disordered thinking.CafeRacer808 wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »I track it on this app. I have my daily calorie limit set at 850 and it ranges between 750-1100. I track every single calorie, I obsess over it, it consumes my mind, so I know it is accurate. But I am just so ugly and so fat and I hate myself because I used to be so much thinner- weighing approximately 121 lbs and now I can't seem to get back down to that. I feel suffocated and trapped and I don't know what to do. I hate myself. I hate how fat I am and what I look like. I try to limit my eating but I can't and then I beat myself up relentlessly for failing .
All of this is deeply troubling. 140 lbs is right in the middle of a healthy weight range for someone who's 5'7". Your very low calorie diet is both unhealthy and it's not providing you with nearly enough calories to fuel your swimming workouts, which is also very unhealthy. Equally concerning are the thoughts you have about yourself and your weight.
You're on a path that is both physically and mentally/psychologically destructive. Please speak to your doctor or a qualified therapist as soon as possible.You really need to talk to someone about this--whether it's your parents, your coach, or your doctor... You are legally an adult, but you need to take the first step in getting this sorted out before it becomes dangerous.Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »It pains me to hear people speak so negatively about themselves.
We have so many people in our lives who try to tear us down... But the only person who shouldn't be tearing you down is you. Self Love is a hard thing to learn OP and if i could see my 19 year old self the things i would tell her now as a 31 year old.. You are Young, and undoubtedly beautiful inside and out and smart and a person with qualities like that should definitely take charge of herself and learn to acknowledge and appreciate these things early on even if it means finding someone to talk to and teach you how to see these things.There are so many things in your post and reply that worry me, OP. Please speak with a professional.
^^^ thank you for the concern everyone. I am ashamed to get help and I don't want to become even fatter than I already am by going to therapy and being forced to eat more. I have to lose at least 25 pounds.
No, you need to get better, not lose more weight
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
Hopefully you'll learn to have time for your health soon.
Losing weight won't help.4 -
As your performance drops eventually your coach will notice. It is your choice whether you pick the help you get or it gets forced on you.
You can either get help with your thinking while you are still at a healthy weight or spend years or never repairing the damage. (Heart, gall bladder, digestion, teeth, muscle tone, hair).
Are you going to college or anything? There should be free counselling there.4 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
Will you have the time or money to be admitted into the hospital for eating disorders? I also struggle with eating disorders. I am 20 years old, 5' 4.5" and 133 pounds. I just gained 3 pounds because I've started working out more. The lowest ideal body weight for your height is 135. That weight is for someone with very little muscle mass. As an athlete, you need that muscle mass! I would guarantee you that if you posted a picture of yourself, we would all say you are already plenty slim. But I get the body hate. I also struggle with it. I've gained 10 pounds in the last year because of a job change, and seeing my body get softer, less flexible, and more heavy was devastating. Im even heavier now, but I'm looking better because of my muscle mass.4 -
This is me right now, and I'm proud of myself. It's not as thin as I was at one point, but I'm strong and healthy
13 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »Erinswim92 wrote: »I am a swimmer and a coach, please do not think of yourself as fat. Number 1 reason: you are at a normal weight for your height. Number 2 reason: Much of your weight, especially if you are practicing and running comes from your muscle mass, and trust me as a swimmer this is NOT something you want to lose. If you are swimming and running you should be eating more calories than you are to maintain a healthy weight that will help you with your swimming and other activities. If you were to look at swimmers who are healthy and fast, their caloric intake for the day exceeds those of other sports activities. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist, they are professionals that can help you.Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »@nickiphillips1 I understand that.. thats why i said not to negate anything positive you were trying to do..
However there are a lot of people who lurk boards and it's very important at the end of the day that not only you.. the OP but everyone else participating in these discussions gets real, valid information, scare tactics with misinformation can often push a person further into the hole they are in.. if shes already been starving herself in attempts to lose weight she might also believe that its too late now and she really messed up. When in reality she hasn't yet, she has TONS of opportunity here to take hold and change her views on herself to see the beautiful person she is.
The reason why it's important to correct for the lurkers is because people pick and choose which information they take in and which they don't.. if there is nothing correcting information given, most peoples deduction is that the information must then be valid, they accept it as valid and then go on to share this information with others..nickiphillips1 wrote: »@Look_Its_Kriss
I was trying a different approach to try to get through to this girl. She isn't responding to anything anyone is saying.kenyonhaff wrote: »As a former competitive swimmer....I trained with a team that produced an Olympian in my team...you can't be competitive on that few calories.Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »nickiphillips1 wrote: »As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.
When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.
@nickiphillips1
Please do not take this as me trying to negate the positive effect you are trying to have on the OP but some of your information is misinformed and i feel like not only the OP could benefit from this correction but also yourself as well.
There are no certain foods that get specifically turned into fat, fat is made when you eat more calories then you burn and the body then turns it to fat to be stored for later use, we gain weight because we keep eating in a calorie surplus, thus never getting to the point of using that stored energy.
Also there is no such thing as starvation mode or protection mode, the body does not store fat this way, if this was the case there would be no anorexics, eating less does not cause the body to store fat, Weight loss will happen with less calories. too few calories often means nutrient deficiencies and it can also mean lean muscle loss resulting in a lower BMR, having a lower then normal BMR can cause weight gain if you ate a normal amount of calories as someone else at the same age, weight and height. But this is not starvation mode either, this is just simply the result of not giving your body what it needs and your body using itself to get it. This does not happen based on a few times of eating too little, this is from a prolonged period of time of under eating.nickiphillips1 wrote: »As a swimmer, I remember when I was in high school, I wouldn't eat lunch so I could be skinnier at swim practice. Swim workouts are tough. Most doctor's offices have dietitians that can help you get the right balance of what to eat to help you swim better. This will help you get the right balance of proteins and carbohydrates for your muscles. Then you will learn what foods turn to sugar and fat in your body. There are certain foods that can help your nails get stronger and your hair as well. I would try to find a doctor and ask about a dietitian. Not all foods are equal and this way you can make the best of your calories.
When you don't eat enough calories or the right calories, your body will store its own fat and go into protection mode. You cannot lose weight this way. This isn't what you want either. Take a step in the right direction. It will help your swimming and your weight.TavistockToad wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »You need to talk to a doctor about how you see yourself. Eating 850 calories and having 2 hours of swim practice per day is destructive. At 19 years old you are in the process of destroying your body and that will have long term consequences. Please go seek help.
https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resourcesOP, please book an appointment with a health professional IMMEDIATELY. You need to get help with your incredibly disordered thinking.CafeRacer808 wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »I track it on this app. I have my daily calorie limit set at 850 and it ranges between 750-1100. I track every single calorie, I obsess over it, it consumes my mind, so I know it is accurate. But I am just so ugly and so fat and I hate myself because I used to be so much thinner- weighing approximately 121 lbs and now I can't seem to get back down to that. I feel suffocated and trapped and I don't know what to do. I hate myself. I hate how fat I am and what I look like. I try to limit my eating but I can't and then I beat myself up relentlessly for failing .
All of this is deeply troubling. 140 lbs is right in the middle of a healthy weight range for someone who's 5'7". Your very low calorie diet is both unhealthy and it's not providing you with nearly enough calories to fuel your swimming workouts, which is also very unhealthy. Equally concerning are the thoughts you have about yourself and your weight.
You're on a path that is both physically and mentally/psychologically destructive. Please speak to your doctor or a qualified therapist as soon as possible.You really need to talk to someone about this--whether it's your parents, your coach, or your doctor... You are legally an adult, but you need to take the first step in getting this sorted out before it becomes dangerous.Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »It pains me to hear people speak so negatively about themselves.
We have so many people in our lives who try to tear us down... But the only person who shouldn't be tearing you down is you. Self Love is a hard thing to learn OP and if i could see my 19 year old self the things i would tell her now as a 31 year old.. You are Young, and undoubtedly beautiful inside and out and smart and a person with qualities like that should definitely take charge of herself and learn to acknowledge and appreciate these things early on even if it means finding someone to talk to and teach you how to see these things.There are so many things in your post and reply that worry me, OP. Please speak with a professional.
^^^ thank you for the concern everyone. I am ashamed to get help and I don't want to become even fatter than I already am by going to therapy and being forced to eat more. I have to lose at least 25 pounds.
No, you need to get better, not lose more weight
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
Please know that we are all trying to help you, and we understand your mindset will not change immediately, we are just worried for you.2 -
As your performance drops eventually your coach will notice. It is your choice whether you pick the help you get or it gets forced on you.
You can either get help with your thinking while you are still at a healthy weight or spend years or never repairing the damage. (Heart, gall bladder, digestion, teeth, muscle tone, hair).
Are you going to college or anything? There should be free counselling there.
I am currently attending Columbia, majoring in biology and following a pred-med course.0 -
wellthenwhat wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
Will you have the time or money to be admitted into the hospital for eating disorders? I also struggle with eating disorders. I am 20 years old, 5' 4.5" and 133 pounds. I just gained 3 pounds because I've started working out more. The lowest ideal body weight for your height is 135. That weight is for someone with very little muscle mass. As an athlete, you need that muscle mass! I would guarantee you that if you posted a picture of yourself, we would all say you are already plenty slim. But I get the body hate. I also struggle with it. I've gained 10 pounds in the last year because of a job change, and seeing my body get softer, less flexible, and more heavy was devastating. Im even heavier now, but I'm looking better because of my muscle mass.
I happen to come from an extremely well off family but I she's asking for money. I am just so embarrassed and ashamed of how I have failed my parents.0 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »wellthenwhat wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
Will you have the time or money to be admitted into the hospital for eating disorders? I also struggle with eating disorders. I am 20 years old, 5' 4.5" and 133 pounds. I just gained 3 pounds because I've started working out more. The lowest ideal body weight for your height is 135. That weight is for someone with very little muscle mass. As an athlete, you need that muscle mass! I would guarantee you that if you posted a picture of yourself, we would all say you are already plenty slim. But I get the body hate. I also struggle with it. I've gained 10 pounds in the last year because of a job change, and seeing my body get softer, less flexible, and more heavy was devastating. Im even heavier now, but I'm looking better because of my muscle mass.
I happen to come from an extremely well off family but I she's asking for money. I am just so embarrassed and ashamed of how I have failed my parents.
Getting help isn't a sign of being a failure people on a daily basis reach out for help when they need it. I hope things get better, and don't consider it a failure seeking treatment.
2 -
OP, you're in dangerous territory with your mental view of yourself. As a competitive swimmer and pre-med, my biggest fear is that you are going to quickly burn out if you don't choose to get help, and SOON. I know it's costly and terrifying to admit to people you love that you are struggling but trust me - you can't afford the consequences.
I was a competitive swimmer and I was in grad school when I let my mental and physical health deteriorate because "I just have to handle it." Your parents and everyone in your life would much rather help you now than have to hear that you're in the ER or a psych admission because your body and mind give out. It hurts the people around you, and I'm saying this because I've been there. Don't lose your education and swimming prowess over this.6 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »wellthenwhat wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
Will you have the time or money to be admitted into the hospital for eating disorders? I also struggle with eating disorders. I am 20 years old, 5' 4.5" and 133 pounds. I just gained 3 pounds because I've started working out more. The lowest ideal body weight for your height is 135. That weight is for someone with very little muscle mass. As an athlete, you need that muscle mass! I would guarantee you that if you posted a picture of yourself, we would all say you are already plenty slim. But I get the body hate. I also struggle with it. I've gained 10 pounds in the last year because of a job change, and seeing my body get softer, less flexible, and more heavy was devastating. Im even heavier now, but I'm looking better because of my muscle mass.
I happen to come from an extremely well off family but I she's asking for money. I am just so embarrassed and ashamed of how I have failed my parents.
I don't know you, or your parents, but I would say the only way you could fail them is to not ask them for help when you need it. There is nothing embarrassing about needing help is what I would like to say, but I understand that it seems to be a rather social stigma about it.
Because this is dealing with your health and your future (and from your schooling it sounds like you're focused on your future), do what you can to help yourself now, even if it is embarrassing for the short term.5 -
As your performance drops eventually your coach will notice. It is your choice whether you pick the help you get or it gets forced on you.
You can either get help with your thinking while you are still at a healthy weight or spend years or never repairing the damage. (Heart, gall bladder, digestion, teeth, muscle tone, hair).
Are you going to college or anything? There should be free counselling there.
Dear OP:
When I was 23 I was attending Fashion Institiute of Technology fulltime and working full time. I was in fashion school and all I wanted was to be thinner and look like the models I would see on running around during fashion week. I spent years having the idea drilled into my brain that anyone that wasn't 6" tall and size 2 was substandard.
So I started taking ephedra diet pills to keep awake and to self medicate my ADHD. I was eating less than 1000 calories a day, and I worked out 5 days a week spending no less than 1 hour on the elliptical + all the normal NYC walking. I barely slept. As a result of the rapid weight loss I developed gallstones which made eating painful, so I ate even less. I lost more and more weight but to me my body still looked huge. I wanted thigh gap, ribs and hip bones showing, and a concave stomach. I wanted to be wispy and transparent.
I'm 5'6". I started at about 160lbs and I weighed about 112-115ish when I was checked into the ER with an infected gallbladder that was completely blocked and had gone septic. I had an emergency surgery at 2:00am, spent 4 days in the hostpital because of the infection and, because I didn't have insurance at the time, I walked away with a $40K hospital bill. About a month later I found out I had 12 cavities because I was malnourished and got to add another $3K to the medical bills. I paid for my quest to be thin with my physical and financial health, and I got off easy compared to other's with similar stories. I promise you that the therapy bills for getting help now will be much cheaper than the bills you'll have when you end up in the hospital.
Then about 5 years later I watched my baby sister go through the same thing. Except she got to 90lbs, lost a ton of her hair, her tooth enamel softened, and her periods stopped. She's healthy now but I was terrified I was going to lose her.
The dangers of disordered eating and body dysmporhia are very, very real and you need to find a counselor soon. There are MANY free and low cost resources in NYC, and Columbia is a major Psych school so there are resources there that you can use. No number on the scale or number of lost pounds, N.O.T.H.I.N.G., is worth the damage you will do to your health if you continue down this path. Life and health are too precious. From someone who has been there, please get help.
13 -
crooked_left_hook wrote: »As your performance drops eventually your coach will notice. It is your choice whether you pick the help you get or it gets forced on you.
You can either get help with your thinking while you are still at a healthy weight or spend years or never repairing the damage. (Heart, gall bladder, digestion, teeth, muscle tone, hair).
Are you going to college or anything? There should be free counselling there.
Dear OP:
When I was 23 I was attending Fashion Institiute of Technology fulltime and working full time. I was in fashion school and all I wanted was to be thinner and look like the models I would see on running around during fashion week. I spent years having the idea drilled into my brain that anyone that wasn't 6" tall and size 2 was substandard.
So I started taking ephedra diet pills to keep awake and to self medicate my ADHD. I was eating less than 1000 calories a day, and I worked out 5 days a week spending no less than 1 hour on the elliptical + all the normal NYC walking. I barely slept. As a result of the rapid weight loss I developed gallstones which made eating painful, so I ate even less. I lost more and more weight but to me my body still looked huge. I wanted thigh gap, ribs and hip bones showing, and a concave stomach. I wanted to be whisky and transparent.
I'm 5'6". I started at about 160lbs and I weighed about 112-115ish when I was checked into the ER with an infected gallbladder that was completely blocked and had gone septic. I had an emergency surgery at 2:00am, spent 4 days in the hostpital because of the infection and, because I didn't have insurance at the time, I walked away with a $40K hospital bill. About a month later I found out I had 12 cavities because I was malnourished and got to add another $3K to the medical bills. I paid for my quest to be thin with my physical and financial health, and I got off easy compared to other's with similar stories. I promise you that the therapy bills for getting help now will be much cheaper than the bills you'll have when you end up in the hospital.
Then about 5 years later I watched my baby sister go through the same thing. Except she got to 90lbs, lost a ton of her hair, her tooth enamel softened, and her periods stopped. She's healthy now but I was terrified I was going to lose her.
The dangers of disordered eating and body dysmporhia are very, very real and you need to find a counselor soon. There are MANY free and low cost resources in NYC, and Columbia is a major Psych school so there are resources there that you can use. No number on the scale or number of lost pounds, N.O.T.H.I.N.G., is worth the damage you will do to your health if you continue down this path. Life and health are too precious. From someone who has been there, please get help.
So much this ^^^^^^^^. There will be someone at Columbia in their counseling/student center that should be able to guide you to on campus help. I too have been where you are. It's not worth losing your future hopes and dreams to an eating disorder. Please seek on campus help at least.5 -
Thank you for all your feedback. I will be fine0
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Op talk with your primary care doctor about your health.1
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@fitnessfreak2537 I'm going to suggest an impediment to getting help. Of course this is a guess; I could be way off. If my guess hits home, consider how you might approach getting help differently. You would not have reached out otherwise.
I'm going to call this the good kid syndrome. I have it. The good kid pulls good grades, is smart and seemingly problem free. The parents justifiably boast on the kid's success and have high hopes for her future.
Somehow along the way the kid gets lost. She needs to get off the success train or slow down but failure is not something she is used to or even interested in finding out. She is also smart enough to hide her pain and deflect society's safeguards.
This kid is ready to implode. But it is easier to go along as of nothing is wrong. Disaster is certain.
All that is left is to decide how long the recovery will take.
Talking to a Columbia counsellor now will speed up your recovery. I'm trying to save you years of recovery.
My implosion cost me twenty years. I'm wiser for it but at what cost?8 -
@fitnessfreak2537 I'm going to suggest an impediment to getting help. Of course this is a guess; I could be way off. If my guess hits home, consider how you might approach getting help differently. You would not have reached out otherwise.
I'm going to call this the good kid syndrome. I have it. The good kid pulls good grades, is smart and seemingly problem free. The parents justifiably boast on the kid's success and have high hopes for her future.
Somehow along the way the kid gets lost. She needs to get off the success train or slow down but failure is not something she is used to or even interested in finding out. She is also smart enough to hide her pain and deflect society's safeguards.
This kid is ready to implode. But it is easier to go along as of nothing is wrong. Disaster is certain.
All that is left is to decide how long the recovery will take.
Talking to a Columbia counsellor now will speed up your recovery. I'm trying to save you years of recovery.
My implosion cost me twenty years. I'm wiser for it but at what cost?
That's me exactly and I don't know how to handle it.1
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