Weight loss for 19 year old girl
Replies
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wellthenwhat wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
Will you have the time or money to be admitted into the hospital for eating disorders? I also struggle with eating disorders. I am 20 years old, 5' 4.5" and 133 pounds. I just gained 3 pounds because I've started working out more. The lowest ideal body weight for your height is 135. That weight is for someone with very little muscle mass. As an athlete, you need that muscle mass! I would guarantee you that if you posted a picture of yourself, we would all say you are already plenty slim. But I get the body hate. I also struggle with it. I've gained 10 pounds in the last year because of a job change, and seeing my body get softer, less flexible, and more heavy was devastating. Im even heavier now, but I'm looking better because of my muscle mass.
I happen to come from an extremely well off family but I she's asking for money. I am just so embarrassed and ashamed of how I have failed my parents.0 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »wellthenwhat wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
Will you have the time or money to be admitted into the hospital for eating disorders? I also struggle with eating disorders. I am 20 years old, 5' 4.5" and 133 pounds. I just gained 3 pounds because I've started working out more. The lowest ideal body weight for your height is 135. That weight is for someone with very little muscle mass. As an athlete, you need that muscle mass! I would guarantee you that if you posted a picture of yourself, we would all say you are already plenty slim. But I get the body hate. I also struggle with it. I've gained 10 pounds in the last year because of a job change, and seeing my body get softer, less flexible, and more heavy was devastating. Im even heavier now, but I'm looking better because of my muscle mass.
I happen to come from an extremely well off family but I she's asking for money. I am just so embarrassed and ashamed of how I have failed my parents.
Getting help isn't a sign of being a failure people on a daily basis reach out for help when they need it. I hope things get better, and don't consider it a failure seeking treatment.
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OP, you're in dangerous territory with your mental view of yourself. As a competitive swimmer and pre-med, my biggest fear is that you are going to quickly burn out if you don't choose to get help, and SOON. I know it's costly and terrifying to admit to people you love that you are struggling but trust me - you can't afford the consequences.
I was a competitive swimmer and I was in grad school when I let my mental and physical health deteriorate because "I just have to handle it." Your parents and everyone in your life would much rather help you now than have to hear that you're in the ER or a psych admission because your body and mind give out. It hurts the people around you, and I'm saying this because I've been there. Don't lose your education and swimming prowess over this.6 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »wellthenwhat wrote: »fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »
Thank you for all your responses. I have been so busy I haven't been able to respond. I hope you can all understand that I cannot just change how I view myself in one night and I can't go to therapy, I don't have time or the money to pay, and I am not going to ask my parents for the money or tell them I need therapy. I will be fine. I just need to continue to work out and lose all the weight. Thank you for the concerns though.
Will you have the time or money to be admitted into the hospital for eating disorders? I also struggle with eating disorders. I am 20 years old, 5' 4.5" and 133 pounds. I just gained 3 pounds because I've started working out more. The lowest ideal body weight for your height is 135. That weight is for someone with very little muscle mass. As an athlete, you need that muscle mass! I would guarantee you that if you posted a picture of yourself, we would all say you are already plenty slim. But I get the body hate. I also struggle with it. I've gained 10 pounds in the last year because of a job change, and seeing my body get softer, less flexible, and more heavy was devastating. Im even heavier now, but I'm looking better because of my muscle mass.
I happen to come from an extremely well off family but I she's asking for money. I am just so embarrassed and ashamed of how I have failed my parents.
I don't know you, or your parents, but I would say the only way you could fail them is to not ask them for help when you need it. There is nothing embarrassing about needing help is what I would like to say, but I understand that it seems to be a rather social stigma about it.
Because this is dealing with your health and your future (and from your schooling it sounds like you're focused on your future), do what you can to help yourself now, even if it is embarrassing for the short term.5 -
As your performance drops eventually your coach will notice. It is your choice whether you pick the help you get or it gets forced on you.
You can either get help with your thinking while you are still at a healthy weight or spend years or never repairing the damage. (Heart, gall bladder, digestion, teeth, muscle tone, hair).
Are you going to college or anything? There should be free counselling there.
Dear OP:
When I was 23 I was attending Fashion Institiute of Technology fulltime and working full time. I was in fashion school and all I wanted was to be thinner and look like the models I would see on running around during fashion week. I spent years having the idea drilled into my brain that anyone that wasn't 6" tall and size 2 was substandard.
So I started taking ephedra diet pills to keep awake and to self medicate my ADHD. I was eating less than 1000 calories a day, and I worked out 5 days a week spending no less than 1 hour on the elliptical + all the normal NYC walking. I barely slept. As a result of the rapid weight loss I developed gallstones which made eating painful, so I ate even less. I lost more and more weight but to me my body still looked huge. I wanted thigh gap, ribs and hip bones showing, and a concave stomach. I wanted to be wispy and transparent.
I'm 5'6". I started at about 160lbs and I weighed about 112-115ish when I was checked into the ER with an infected gallbladder that was completely blocked and had gone septic. I had an emergency surgery at 2:00am, spent 4 days in the hostpital because of the infection and, because I didn't have insurance at the time, I walked away with a $40K hospital bill. About a month later I found out I had 12 cavities because I was malnourished and got to add another $3K to the medical bills. I paid for my quest to be thin with my physical and financial health, and I got off easy compared to other's with similar stories. I promise you that the therapy bills for getting help now will be much cheaper than the bills you'll have when you end up in the hospital.
Then about 5 years later I watched my baby sister go through the same thing. Except she got to 90lbs, lost a ton of her hair, her tooth enamel softened, and her periods stopped. She's healthy now but I was terrified I was going to lose her.
The dangers of disordered eating and body dysmporhia are very, very real and you need to find a counselor soon. There are MANY free and low cost resources in NYC, and Columbia is a major Psych school so there are resources there that you can use. No number on the scale or number of lost pounds, N.O.T.H.I.N.G., is worth the damage you will do to your health if you continue down this path. Life and health are too precious. From someone who has been there, please get help.
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crooked_left_hook wrote: »As your performance drops eventually your coach will notice. It is your choice whether you pick the help you get or it gets forced on you.
You can either get help with your thinking while you are still at a healthy weight or spend years or never repairing the damage. (Heart, gall bladder, digestion, teeth, muscle tone, hair).
Are you going to college or anything? There should be free counselling there.
Dear OP:
When I was 23 I was attending Fashion Institiute of Technology fulltime and working full time. I was in fashion school and all I wanted was to be thinner and look like the models I would see on running around during fashion week. I spent years having the idea drilled into my brain that anyone that wasn't 6" tall and size 2 was substandard.
So I started taking ephedra diet pills to keep awake and to self medicate my ADHD. I was eating less than 1000 calories a day, and I worked out 5 days a week spending no less than 1 hour on the elliptical + all the normal NYC walking. I barely slept. As a result of the rapid weight loss I developed gallstones which made eating painful, so I ate even less. I lost more and more weight but to me my body still looked huge. I wanted thigh gap, ribs and hip bones showing, and a concave stomach. I wanted to be whisky and transparent.
I'm 5'6". I started at about 160lbs and I weighed about 112-115ish when I was checked into the ER with an infected gallbladder that was completely blocked and had gone septic. I had an emergency surgery at 2:00am, spent 4 days in the hostpital because of the infection and, because I didn't have insurance at the time, I walked away with a $40K hospital bill. About a month later I found out I had 12 cavities because I was malnourished and got to add another $3K to the medical bills. I paid for my quest to be thin with my physical and financial health, and I got off easy compared to other's with similar stories. I promise you that the therapy bills for getting help now will be much cheaper than the bills you'll have when you end up in the hospital.
Then about 5 years later I watched my baby sister go through the same thing. Except she got to 90lbs, lost a ton of her hair, her tooth enamel softened, and her periods stopped. She's healthy now but I was terrified I was going to lose her.
The dangers of disordered eating and body dysmporhia are very, very real and you need to find a counselor soon. There are MANY free and low cost resources in NYC, and Columbia is a major Psych school so there are resources there that you can use. No number on the scale or number of lost pounds, N.O.T.H.I.N.G., is worth the damage you will do to your health if you continue down this path. Life and health are too precious. From someone who has been there, please get help.
So much this ^^^^^^^^. There will be someone at Columbia in their counseling/student center that should be able to guide you to on campus help. I too have been where you are. It's not worth losing your future hopes and dreams to an eating disorder. Please seek on campus help at least.5 -
Thank you for all your feedback. I will be fine0
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Op talk with your primary care doctor about your health.1
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@fitnessfreak2537 I'm going to suggest an impediment to getting help. Of course this is a guess; I could be way off. If my guess hits home, consider how you might approach getting help differently. You would not have reached out otherwise.
I'm going to call this the good kid syndrome. I have it. The good kid pulls good grades, is smart and seemingly problem free. The parents justifiably boast on the kid's success and have high hopes for her future.
Somehow along the way the kid gets lost. She needs to get off the success train or slow down but failure is not something she is used to or even interested in finding out. She is also smart enough to hide her pain and deflect society's safeguards.
This kid is ready to implode. But it is easier to go along as of nothing is wrong. Disaster is certain.
All that is left is to decide how long the recovery will take.
Talking to a Columbia counsellor now will speed up your recovery. I'm trying to save you years of recovery.
My implosion cost me twenty years. I'm wiser for it but at what cost?8 -
@fitnessfreak2537 I'm going to suggest an impediment to getting help. Of course this is a guess; I could be way off. If my guess hits home, consider how you might approach getting help differently. You would not have reached out otherwise.
I'm going to call this the good kid syndrome. I have it. The good kid pulls good grades, is smart and seemingly problem free. The parents justifiably boast on the kid's success and have high hopes for her future.
Somehow along the way the kid gets lost. She needs to get off the success train or slow down but failure is not something she is used to or even interested in finding out. She is also smart enough to hide her pain and deflect society's safeguards.
This kid is ready to implode. But it is easier to go along as of nothing is wrong. Disaster is certain.
All that is left is to decide how long the recovery will take.
Talking to a Columbia counsellor now will speed up your recovery. I'm trying to save you years of recovery.
My implosion cost me twenty years. I'm wiser for it but at what cost?
That's me exactly and I don't know how to handle it.1 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »@fitnessfreak2537 I'm going to suggest an impediment to getting help. Of course this is a guess; I could be way off. If my guess hits home, consider how you might approach getting help differently. You would not have reached out otherwise.
I'm going to call this the good kid syndrome. I have it. The good kid pulls good grades, is smart and seemingly problem free. The parents justifiably boast on the kid's success and have high hopes for her future.
Somehow along the way the kid gets lost. She needs to get off the success train or slow down but failure is not something she is used to or even interested in finding out. She is also smart enough to hide her pain and deflect society's safeguards.
This kid is ready to implode. But it is easier to go along as of nothing is wrong. Disaster is certain.
All that is left is to decide how long the recovery will take.
Talking to a Columbia counsellor now will speed up your recovery. I'm trying to save you years of recovery.
My implosion cost me twenty years. I'm wiser for it but at what cost?
That's me exactly and I don't know how to handle it.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your family first, I would start with talking to someone at the colleges counseling or medical center. You are at a fantastic school that has great resources, and this is a problem that happens frequently in colleges. You are an adult and they legally cannot tell your parents without your permission. If you can find a professional to support you, having the talk with your family will be easier.
I also suggest reaching out to a friend, teacher, team mate, or coach that you trust. You will be surprised how much support is there for you if you ask. Sometimes the simple act of letting someone else know we are struggling lift a huge weight from our shoulders because we know we are not alone.
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OP, I suffered from "good kid syndrome" too. My problem wasn't an eating disorder, but other than that, oh yeah I identify with @jgnatca wrote!
OP, it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to need help. I know it's hard to ask for help, but you need to. You aren't a failure or a disappointment or a burden. I'm glad you opened up to us. We don't even know you, but we all want you to be healthy and safe. So imagine how much more your family and friends want you to be healthy and safe. Please reach out to them.4 -
BlueSkyShoal wrote: »OP, I suffered from "good kid syndrome" too. My problem wasn't an eating disorder, but other than that, oh yeah I identify with @jgnatca wrote!
OP, it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to need help. I know it's hard to ask for help, but you need to. You aren't a failure or a disappointment or a burden. I'm glad you opened up to us. We don't even know you, but we all want you to be healthy and safe. So imagine how much more your family and friends want you to be healthy and safe. Please reach out to them.
Thank you. I'm currently being treated as an inpatient in a hospital back home in Boston for anorexia. Thank you everyone for helping me. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.
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fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »As your performance drops eventually your coach will notice. It is your choice whether you pick the help you get or it gets forced on you.
You can either get help with your thinking while you are still at a healthy weight or spend years or never repairing the damage. (Heart, gall bladder, digestion, teeth, muscle tone, hair).
Are you going to college or anything? There should be free counselling there.
I am currently attending Columbia, majoring in biology and following a pred-med course.
How are you going to take care of others as a doctor when you can't take care of yourself? Are you going to suggest to patients that they loathe themselves, call themselves names and starve when they are at a healthy weight? No? Good. Then it's also not OK to tell yourself those things or do that to yourself. Physician, heal thyself.
If you're a college student you pay for the campus counseling center through your student fees, whether or not you use the service. So, you can afford it. And the services are confidential. You can choose to not go, but you have access to an affordable service through the campus.
Your body will not let you continue on this course. You can seek support now and begin working on retraining your mind, like you work on training your body, or do it when your body forces you to. Your road back will be so much harder and take more time, the longer you wait.
If you want to help people through medicine, you must first take care of yourself.0 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »BlueSkyShoal wrote: »OP, I suffered from "good kid syndrome" too. My problem wasn't an eating disorder, but other than that, oh yeah I identify with @jgnatca wrote!
OP, it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to need help. I know it's hard to ask for help, but you need to. You aren't a failure or a disappointment or a burden. I'm glad you opened up to us. We don't even know you, but we all want you to be healthy and safe. So imagine how much more your family and friends want you to be healthy and safe. Please reach out to them.
Thank you. I'm currently being treated as an inpatient in a hospital back home in Boston for anorexia. Thank you everyone for helping me. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.
Very glad to see this update that you're getting help. Get better and get healthy soon.3 -
While sorry to hear you got sick enough to need treatment; extremely glad to hear that you ARE getting the treatment that you need.
Please take care of yourself.2 -
fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »BlueSkyShoal wrote: »OP, I suffered from "good kid syndrome" too. My problem wasn't an eating disorder, but other than that, oh yeah I identify with @jgnatca wrote!
OP, it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to need help. I know it's hard to ask for help, but you need to. You aren't a failure or a disappointment or a burden. I'm glad you opened up to us. We don't even know you, but we all want you to be healthy and safe. So imagine how much more your family and friends want you to be healthy and safe. Please reach out to them.
Thank you. I'm currently being treated as an inpatient in a hospital back home in Boston for anorexia. Thank you everyone for helping me. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.
That's amazing news. I'm so happy you took the step. I wish you so much success on your path. Be easy on yourself.2 -
Gosh I'm so glad to hear this. I didn't see this thread when you originally posted it, and was so worried for you reading it now! Wishing you the best with your recovery.fitnessfreak2537 wrote: »BlueSkyShoal wrote: »OP, I suffered from "good kid syndrome" too. My problem wasn't an eating disorder, but other than that, oh yeah I identify with @jgnatca wrote!
OP, it's okay not to be perfect. It's okay to need help. I know it's hard to ask for help, but you need to. You aren't a failure or a disappointment or a burden. I'm glad you opened up to us. We don't even know you, but we all want you to be healthy and safe. So imagine how much more your family and friends want you to be healthy and safe. Please reach out to them.
Thank you. I'm currently being treated as an inpatient in a hospital back home in Boston for anorexia. Thank you everyone for helping me. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.
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