Help settle an argument?

porcelanmermaid

Me and my fiance have been arguing about dishes for years. Who should do the majority of the dishes?
The one who does all the cooking?
Or
The one who doesn't cook?

DeficitDuchess

I'd say the, person that isn't the; busiest and/or most active! If I had, a desk job & my Fiance was a construction worker, he'd be responsible for none of; the chores in our home!

jlewis326

In my house its the person who doesnt cook does the dishes

Morgaen73

In our house I do the cooking and my wife does the dishes. If she cooks (which she never does) I do the dishes.

TK6299

The one who does not cook does the dishes, although the one who cooks should at least put away leftovers and help dry hand washables.

ninerbuff

Work should be split even. If one say does cleaning, laundry, out door work (mowing etc.) and the other only has to cook and do dishes (it's not that hard really these days because it the dishwasher that does the work) that's pretty even.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

TavistockToad

Who 'should'? Both people should...

Before we got a dishwasher, I would cook and wash up and husband would dry as I prefer washing.

Now we have a dishwasher husband usually stacks it and we both empty it

mandymay01

I do all the cooking, cleaning, yard work, and work two jobs. Save your fight for something important. When you do get into a fight, just play with your boobs..fight over..you win

subcounter

I sometimes make really good arguments like; I work till 9, I cook every single time, I do the laundry, then I remember I live alone, so I suck up and do the dishes as well.

omakase619

Unpopular answer.... you should do the dishes OP

BeChill73

At our house I cook, hubby washes dishes and teen dries dishes. (We don't own a dishwasher)

omakase619

mandymay01 wrote: »

I do all the cooking, cleaning, yard work, and work two jobs. Save your fight for something important. When you do get into a fight, just play with your boobs..fight over..you win

Wow really? Your significant other is lucky

federicafezza4271

I live with my mum and sister (21 yo) so it's not the same that with a partner, but in my house it's usually depending on a somewhat fair distribution on the workload and on one's individual schedule.
For example if I have to leave the house right after lunch someone else will do the dishes regardless of who cooked, or if my sister has cleaned the room we share I will do the dishes. If my mum is super tired, doesn't matter if we made the dinner, we will also do the clean up.

The one thing I hate though is "working" while someone else is sitting and watching me. if I do the dishes, I expect other people to either leave the kitchen or to help me out even in an easy way (handing the dishes to me, put in the fridge the bottle that was on the table..)

in general if one is cooking the other one should do the majority of the clean up because in this way both contribute. I also think that in a couple it's important to feel that there is fairness in this kind of stuff because it avoids bitterness, so maybe you can try to set up rules!

TavistockToad

mandymay01 wrote: »

I do all the cooking, cleaning, yard work, and work two jobs. Save your fight for something important. When you do get into a fight, just play with your boobs..fight over..you win

if you're happy with that, then its all good.

i wouldn't be which is why we share all the cleaning, i cook and he does all the outside stuff.

to each their own.

RoxieDawn

I cook and hubs does the dishes. We have a dishwasher and he simply likes to hand wash them. Beyond my comprehension why he does this.

There was never an argument over this, he simply just does it.

He's a keeper!

EricNewark

We alternate here and there but for the most part we both clean up after dinner together and *kitten* that the kids should be doing it instead. Lol

kwph

Paper plates ....Problem solved

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Merkavar

wash up your own dishes. Or if you are cooking for someone then you cook, they clean. Assuming everything else is even, like work etc

But if they are working and you arent, then the person not working should do the lions share of chores.

If you are both working, i guess then it would depend on how active or mentally draining your work is.

kaizaku

In my house, the neighbour does our dishes lol

jvcjim

well i do most of the cooking. my wife gripes when i do the dinner dishes, claims that since i cooked i should not have to do the dishes, claims she should do them on the nights when she cooks too. she is ok with me doing up the breakfast and lunch dishes, most of them are my mess anyhow. i wash up all my prep bowls boards while cooking.

the kids are grown and it would take days to fill the dishwasher with just us two so we both hand wash them.

what wife in her right mind would gripe if her husbanddid the dinner washing up? mine of course is not in her right mind as she has been married to me for 28 years.

blackcomaro

Well... if someone cooked for me.... id do the washing up no question!

TH2017

ninerbuff wrote: »

Work should be split even. If one say does cleaning, laundry, out door work (mowing etc.) and the other only has to cook and do dishes (it's not that hard really these days because it the dishwasher that does the work) that's pretty even.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

This!

I do most of the cooking and dishes during the week but then I don't mow the grass or take out the trash most weeks. And once in a while...usually on the weekends he does the dishes and if he is gone or forgot because he is busy I take out the trash. If dishes are a priority for you and not the other person you will likely continue having the argument.

Lounmoun

In my house I cook and do the dishes.
Dh works all day outside the home to finance our lives, does the car maintenance and lawn care. I stay home with dd and do the the cooking, cleaning, laundry.
If both dh and I worked outside the home all day then we would split household chores differently than we do now.

melmelw03

That's why I had kids.

mandymay01

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

My wife makes me cook and do all the dishes, then asks for coffee while watching Bravo tv. The darling and her cat never get off the chaise lounge.

somebody is whipped....j/k that is sweet of you

TheRoadDog

I do the cooking in my home. As I cook, I also clean cooking utensils and pots and pans. After dinner the only dishes to do are what we ate off of. My wife does those.

We've never discussed the assignment of chores. We've been together for 28 years and just developed a routine that fits our schedules. She cleans the upstairs. I clean the downstairs. I do the basic yard work. She does the gardening.

I do upkeep to our house, but she is the one that makes it a home.

Free2LiveAgain

uhm.. whoever isn't selfish and lazy

teagirlmedium

If the dishes are really an issue I would say make a list of all the chores, put them into your own groupings of which ones you dislike, feel neutral about, get some odd pleasure in doing. Then figure out which ones and how many you are willing to do off the other person's dislike or neutral list in exchange for them doing the one off your dislike list. Keep going until you have an agreement on who does which bit of housework.

Unknown

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joemac1988

samanthaapw wrote: »

Me and my fiance have been arguing about dishes for years. Who should do the majority of the dishes?
The one who does all the cooking?
Or
The one who doesn't cook?

Doesn't have anything to do with who cooks; it's overall workload. Share it evenly.