I guess this is my low

fiddletime

You've been on here to some degree since 2011 so I suspect you know the drill. While I have "just" 25 pounds to lose for the third time, I know how hard it can be to restart- again. I had a moment when I was on the verge of needing to go up a Jean size for the second time in 4 months, and knew that if I didn't get serious, this might happen to me 2 or 3 or many more times. You don't want to come on here in a few years with 250 pounds to lose right?

Just get started. And live on the maintenance boards, because you never want to be starting over again. Make this your last time. You know you can do it, but not if you don't make some changes. I haven't cut out anything, but am really working on portion control. You CAN do this. One day at a time. And I come on the community site daily and now know that, for me, I can't stop logging.

Baphometta

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/119417-twitter-gets-fitter we have a motivation group here if you or anyone needs help

singletrackmtbr

sonia_mt wrote: »

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singletrackmtbr wrote: »

I won't pile on as it is all good advice, but I will add a different approach.

People who want to change due to approval/disapproval of others often aren't able to sustain the changes. Why? Because if you determine your value and direction using external factors, it can often mean you don't value yourself the way you should. Also, using external approval/disapproval as motivation can lead to unpredictability as everyone around you is different, and individuals can be different from one moment to the next. There is simply too much variability.

Do you love yourself? Forget about your physical appearance for a minute and ask yourself this one question. If the answer is "no," I suggest surrounding yourself with people that do, and who will help you realize and remember all the reasons you should. It isn't unreasonable for some people to seek out a professional to help them get to this place.

If the answer is "yes," then realize you deserve the best for yourself and make changes aimed in that direction. Make attainable goals, and find ways to achieve them that you enjoy. Embrace the process and be proud of your changes, rather than only thinking about goals.

There are many studies out there that show most people who lose a significant amount of weight regain it back (and more) within a year. The most reasonable explanation is they couldn't sustain whatever method of suffering (physical or emotional) they put themselves through. Another possibility is they did it for someone else, or to achieve a short-sighted goal (a wedding or event, beach season, etc) and didn't know what to do when that moment passed by.

I hope you make some lifestyle changes you enjoy and can be proud of, as those will be the ones that stick. Good luck in your journey!

No I don't love myself, I haven't in years.. it's hard to see anything good... not to sure how much detail I should go into, but, I guess I just don't feel like I'm a good person

For me this is the crux of this discussion. You can love or hate your body but it isn't really who you are, despite what some might think.

If you feel this strongly, you might be dismayed to find that losing 100 pounds won't change it. I hope you seek out support and eliminate negative people from your circle. When you do it for you, you will succeed, and it will feel really good!

yayamom3

sonia_mt wrote: »

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yayamom3 wrote: »

Wth? Your husband caught these people making fun of you, and he didn't call them out on their behavior? And what was the point of him telling you? I would find that very hurtful if it were me.

Oh yes ,they were called out, and the only reason I heard it was because he was whispering to his sister what the problem was, I just happen to read his lips.. he was trying to keep it from me, but we could all tell he was able to explode..

Thanks for clarifying. I am very relieved to hear that!

sonia_mt

singletrackmtbr wrote: »

show previous quotes

sonia_mt wrote: »

singletrackmtbr wrote: »

I won't pile on as it is all good advice, but I will add a different approach.

People who want to change due to approval/disapproval of others often aren't able to sustain the changes. Why? Because if you determine your value and direction using external factors, it can often mean you don't value yourself the way you should. Also, using external approval/disapproval as motivation can lead to unpredictability as everyone around you is different, and individuals can be different from one moment to the next. There is simply too much variability.

Do you love yourself? Forget about your physical appearance for a minute and ask yourself this one question. If the answer is "no," I suggest surrounding yourself with people that do, and who will help you realize and remember all the reasons you should. It isn't unreasonable for some people to seek out a professional to help them get to this place.

If the answer is "yes," then realize you deserve the best for yourself and make changes aimed in that direction. Make attainable goals, and find ways to achieve them that you enjoy. Embrace the process and be proud of your changes, rather than only thinking about goals.

There are many studies out there that show most people who lose a significant amount of weight regain it back (and more) within a year. The most reasonable explanation is they couldn't sustain whatever method of suffering (physical or emotional) they put themselves through. Another possibility is they did it for someone else, or to achieve a short-sighted goal (a wedding or event, beach season, etc) and didn't know what to do when that moment passed by.

I hope you make some lifestyle changes you enjoy and can be proud of, as those will be the ones that stick. Good luck in your journey!

No I don't love myself, I haven't in years.. it's hard to see anything good... not to sure how much detail I should go into, but, I guess I just don't feel like I'm a good person

For me this is the crux of this discussion. You can love or hate your body but it isn't really who you are, despite what some might think.

If you feel this strongly, you might be dismayed to find that losing 100 pounds won't change it. I hope you seek out support and eliminate negative people from your circle. When you do it for you, you will succeed, and it will feel really good!

Thank you!

sonia_mt

fiddletime wrote: »

You've been on here to some degree since 2011 so I suspect you know the drill. While I have "just" 25 pounds to lose for the third time, I know how hard it can be to restart- again. I had a moment when I was on the verge of needing to go up a Jean size for the second time in 4 months, and knew that if I didn't get serious, this might happen to me 2 or 3 or many more times. You don't want to come on here in a few years with 250 pounds to lose right?

Just get started. And live on the maintenance boards, because you never want to be starting over again. Make this your last time. You know you can do it, but not if you don't make some changes. I haven't cut out anything, but am really working on portion control. You CAN do this. One day at a time. And I come on the community site daily and now know that, for me, I can't stop logging.

I definitely have been on here for a while, everything is always short term and I can never stick with anything.. but, I guess, something is better then nothing

sonia_mt

estherdragonbat wrote: »

One thing to keep in mind: the closer your weight-loss eating is to the way you'll be eating when you reach your goal, the likelier you are to keep going and keep the weight off.

Personally, I'm trying to develop my own healthier relationship with eating. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to be 'real'. So, it's stuff like recognizing that I'm an introvert who isn't usually good at making small talk at parties and tends to gravitate to the food. And when I'm at a birthday party, yes I want cake and I will not be happy no matter how many pieces of canteloupe or celery sticks I pile on my plate. So, it's learning to realize that the cake isn't inherently 'bad'. What's problematic is having the cake, having seconds, and then going for the ice cream, the chips, the jelly beans, etc—partly because I'm already feeling guilty about the cake when I 'promised' myself I was going to stick to the melon and veggies. What works? Fitting a piece of cake into my daily calories, logging it, and moving on. It's like giving myself permission to have the indulgence, seeing it in the tracker and realizing that it wasn't a 'cheat', but a choice 1) eliminates the guilt and negative self-talk (There you go, off the rails again. Blew the diet. May as well just live it up now cuz today is shot.) 2) Makes it that much easier to stop at the cake. 3) I've found that even if I end up eating a bit more than I thought I would, it's way less than I would have in the past.

There are no foods that are inherently 'good' or 'bad'. Well, okay, I still haven't found a way to love brussels sprouts, but I'm working on it! Unless you are planning to NEVER eat [insert name of food here] again as long as you live, eliminating it entirely may be counterproductive in the long run. Because if what's gong through your head is "once the weight comes off, I'm going to have that pie; I'm going to have a double-scoop sundae..." that's going to make this feel like a temporary punishment, not a lifestyle change. Find out the calories of the foods you love and figure out how to fit them into your weight-loss plan*. I know there are people on MFP who set aside 1-200 calories a day for treats. Or eat a hundred or so calories below goal 6 days a week and then use those 'banked' calories for a weekly indulgence. And it works.

You can do this.




*Note: Most people do have a few foods that are hard to moderate. You might want to refrain from having them temporarily or not keeping them in the house, except for what you can consume at one sitting. Jellybeans are one of mine. If I want to indulge, I buy a small packet; I don't get a large bag.

Thank you, I think that why I fail so often.. I think, don't eat bread. Then I do, then I feel guilty then it's a down slope from there.. perhaps I need to just plan things better

tealtortoise

To the OP, Your story is a strong example as to why I prefer dogs over people. I am sorry you had to go through that experience.

sonia_mt

tealtortoise wrote: »

To the OP, Your story is a strong example as to why I prefer dogs over people. I am sorry you had to go through that experience.

No kidding!! And thank you!