What do you do when you feel unattractive?

JukeboxHeroine
JukeboxHeroine Posts: 348 Member
edited November 16 in Chit-Chat
Hi everyone. This is my first thread so go easy on me.

Do you ever have days you feel unattractive? I'm sure we all do, but how do you get out of that funk? Yesterday was one of those days for me. As I was getting ready for church I wasn't happy with how I looked. Not so much my figure ( it needs work) but just my appearance in general. I was a late bloomer and my mom was a tomboy. She was no help in the hair, makeup, clothes department. I had no teacher so I've slowly had to teach myself and to be honest at almost 33 I'm still not great at it ( my eyeliner technique is non existent). Usually I feel ok with my appearance but lately I just feel like the dowdy chick. In my twenties it seemed like I knew I wasn't that attractive so I made sure I had a dynamic personality ( I'm still the funny, witty one IRL). Im happy with my life but obviously my view of myself needs some work. I'm super busy, I work 2 jobs and have a family but it's like I can't shake it right now. So I'm asking, what do you do to help shake it off?

(I am not posting a picture as I don't want this to seem like I'm fishing for compliments.)
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Replies

  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    Everyone feels unattractive from time to time. Sometimes we just have the blahs, it's that time of the month, who knows why really.

    regarding make up technique go to a make up counter and as for some help. They will be more than happy to teach you what to do, yes they'll want to sell you products but they will be more than happy to help.

    I get out of the blahs by shopping. But wearing something new or newer that you know you look fabulous in is a real confidence and mood booster
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
    You could try styling your hair different. That works for me sometimes.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    I do and certainly others do as well. I have lower confidence days when my hormones are raging.. If you are in a different slump perhaps things going on in your life slowing you down and stressing you out more, this contributes to confidence as well.

    So on these 'I do not care days', I just let these days be off days, and let other things in life matter most. I am loved no matter what I look like by my family, so I always remember that.

    I have a go to way to throw the hair into some acceptable way that looks like I cared that day, and I just let my natural state take over and say screw the world. You will find a way to deal with certain emotions you are having at the moment. I have what I call "everything is in balance days".. these are the days when everything is aligned as perfect as they can be. Not every day or week will be like this.
  • Gimsteinn
    Gimsteinn Posts: 7,678 Member
    Right now I feel very un attractive so I'm wearing my fatty clothes (the clothes that are way to big on me right now) and eating skyr out of the container with a big spoon...

    (p.s. skyr is like super healthy with awesome stats... this is what I do instead of hiding in my PJ's eating ice cream out of the container with a huge spoon, fatty clothes reminds me of how far I've come and the skyr is a good replacement lol)
  • Gondowolf
    Gondowolf Posts: 26 Member
    I usually feel unattractive when im bloated from eating junk food.Even when i had abs, if i get bloated i felt like the ugliest person in the world :smiley: remember the feeling after a ,,sugar high,, is bad so don't ever go crazy with the amount of sugar you eat.
  • NYCDutchess
    NYCDutchess Posts: 622 Member
    You SHOULD post a picture... let people tell you what you REALLY look like. And if there is some advice someone can give, take it in stride. Sometimes we NEED to hear the good that we don't see.

    Trust me, right now I feel chunky, like I look a little old and like I really should go put some make up on...

  • brookielaw
    brookielaw Posts: 814 Member
    Yes. We all have days like that. A few years back one of my friends told me that sometimes, no matter how you feel, you just have to slap on an extra layer of lip gloss and hold your head high. Her philosophy has never done me wrong. If you can force yourself to fake it, you eventually feel it.
  • Tblackdogs
    Tblackdogs Posts: 326 Member
    I have two answers for you....re the clothes, makeup, hair. Get some professional help. Ask a salesperson to recommend some cute outfits, keep trying things on until you find something you love. For me, anything hot pink (t-shirt, polo shirt, sweater) makes me feel better about myself. Seriously. Makeup is something that professionals can help you with FOR FREE. Or you can pay for a consultation. Hair, same thing. I have average hair, in a simple cut but I found some coconut oil that makes it shiny, a hair brush that doesn't make it staticky and sometimes just giving it a good brush makes it look awesome (And I'm 51, not so easy). I also recommend highlights because they make you look sunny and bright. I don't color my hair anymore but I keep thinking about those highlights!

    Then the second answer....kind of related to the first. Find LITTLE things that help. i.e. the pink t-shirt for me. I realized that as I got older my skin looked and felt dry. I found a great (and cheap) lotion that can be a deal changer for me on a day I feel icky. I have a pair of boots I bought in the summer (crazy right?) and have worn almost every day this fall and winter. I love them so much and they make me feel awesome. Scarves or earrings? A great jacket or a lipstick? I think that the most confident people have a uniform or a style and that works for them.

    If you have young kids you might put their needs before your own and that's just silly. You're important and special. We all are!
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  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I shave my head.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    Gimsteinn wrote: »
    Right now I feel very un attractive so I'm wearing my fatty clothes (the clothes that are way to big on me right now) and eating skyr out of the container with a big spoon...

    (p.s. skyr is like super healthy with awesome stats... this is what I do instead of hiding in my PJ's eating ice cream out of the container with a huge spoon, fatty clothes reminds me of how far I've come and the skyr is a good replacement lol)

    I only get skyr now at the store. a bit of that is like a meal
  • CasperNaegle
    CasperNaegle Posts: 936 Member
    That is a great question.. I usually grumble about it for a while, try to forget it and move on. Everyone has fat feeling days I think. Just can't let it hold you down for long.
  • Carbkiller1970
    Carbkiller1970 Posts: 3,289 Member
    Exercise longer and harder
  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
    edited March 2017
    I'm 33 and I never learned a thing about hair, makeup, or clothes. I feel unattractive almost every single day.

    Some days, I feel bad enough I make zero effort because I feel like I'm not worth the effort. Other days a little makeup and an outfit I like helps. Sometimes cute lingerie gives me a confidence boost. There are rare days I even feel pretty.

    I hope the suggestions others have offered help you out. Everyone deserves to feel good about their appearance. :)
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    Hold a pec/trap/lat flex until veins pop up all over my shoulders. Shoulder veins should cheer anyone right the *kitten* up.
  • ronjsteele1
    ronjsteele1 Posts: 1,064 Member
    I'm pretty much like you in terms of what I was taught for hair and makeup. So I did the next best thing. I went to one of my friends that I admire and asked her to help me learn to do my makeup and pick out clothes that are flattering on me (if there is such a thing as flattering on my overweight body). For my girls, we made a day of it and I took each of them to her house and she taught them what colors would look good on their skin, etc. I found a beautician that is one of those people that can look at someone and tell them if a style will look good or bad on them and we talk it through. I found her the same way - I looked at my friends whose hair I really liked and asked them who they used.

    As for my I feel bad about myself days - I get my nails done. For some reason, a manicure and nice gel polish that looks pretty can make everything else seem not so bad to me. So I guess just doing something nice for myself tends to make me feel a bit better.

    Hang in there - we all go through it.
  • Carbkiller1970
    Carbkiller1970 Posts: 3,289 Member
    jjewell1981 wrote: »
    I force people to tell me I'm pretty
    Your very pretty
  • TheCounselorx
    TheCounselorx Posts: 1,182 Member
    never happened.... check out my bank account balance I guess.....
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    I'll do my makeup. I've gotten away from wearing it lately. When I feel icky I'll put some makeup on.
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  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    cabronlobos wrote: »
    I have been called good looking, as well as ugly. I have been described as a gorilla as a compliment as well as an insult. I don't buy into any of it too much. Perception is reality, it's corny, but just look in the mirror everyday and say, Damn I look good! Even if you dont really feel that way. It's called fake it till you make it. Once you learn to love yourself for real then those "ugly" days don't mean a whole hell of a lot. :)

    I actually agree with this...well not the gorilla part but the fake it part. Sometimes you have to have a devil may care attitude and just put your head up, shoulders back and strut around like you have all the confidence in the world....others will believe it and eventually you will to. if you're Confident about yourself you'll feel good
  • TheCounselorx
    TheCounselorx Posts: 1,182 Member
    kristikitter wrote: »
    OP! I am in one of these spirals right now too!!

    I've been feeling like a fat blob for ages but Facebook did that 'on this day' thing on a throwback to my 21st and I was like, "EWW who is that chick with the spiral curls and chubby face and no dress sense?!" I'm feeling a bit trapped, like I've always been ugly and always will be.

    BUT I also know that when I was skinny (about 3 years back) I was pretty - but still unhappy with my nose, chin, eyes, hair, gait, EVERYTHING! So I'm working on me.

    I've changed up my nail colour (such a tiny thing but still) and tried a new lipstick. Looking at doing something to my hair too. I'm alos giving myself the most stupid goal to focus on... a genioplasty/rhinoplasty fund. Yeah I should probably focus more on saving for a house deposit, but... I have no kids, and don't smoke/go clubbing/eat out often. I don't feel I will ever get a partner (sometimes I look at posts where these women are like 400lbs and are married - and I admit to having some very ugly feelings that I have to actively tamp down!!) - so I want to work on my confidence more.

    I also leave you with this, one of my favourite quotes ever - because sometimes, all it takes is a great personality (which it sounds like you have) -
    CU0haXJWcAIiGLw.jpg

    very true...... but don't feel unattractive... I imagine your a lot of fun to be with... and a partner who wants to be with somebody 'coz they are a certain weight, isn't the one to be with anyway!!.... x
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  • Carbkiller1970
    Carbkiller1970 Posts: 3,289 Member
    I just say screw it and go clean something
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