Married but never see my partner
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@candythorns you're *kitten* awesome0
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candythorns wrote: »I'll be honest, you're striking me as a bit immature. My husband was military, multiple deployments for months at a time. I'd have been up *kitten* creek if I'd depended on him for all my social interactions. What do you want? You don't like hobbies, you don't want to meet people, the only thing you've mentioned with any amount of enjoyment is drinking. Join a yoga or spin class ffs!
Red flags everywhere with the male coworker. You need a girlfriend that you can go for pedicures and shopping and get gossipy with, not a stand-in husband.
Having someone away long term with the hopes of a return, is quite different then 1 week on or off. I have some friends but to be honest, when girlfriends get controlling (which they have) or crazy (non stop talk about how they want their parents to die) I cut that *kitten* loose!
Also you strike me as someone who doesn't read the whole story because I do sign up for fitness classes. These are pretty much the only classes I've found that are ok because any more class commitment where I need to be there weekly takes a day away from when I may get to spend time with my husband.
I go to concerts alone, movies alone, workout alone. Social anxiety is a thing so I haven't found a meetup yet that I've actually forced myself to go to. Also not everyone makes friends easy.
Emotions are not immature. Wanting to make things better are not immature. Holding things in for years for me HAS been immature. I'm gonna live, and thrive, and say *kitten* you for thinking you're so special and different just because you're some military wife.
Thank you to those who could actually empathize with my rant because *kitten* I'm allowed to express these things and be frustrated for things being hum drum when I'm not.
And p.s. Having issues with alcoholism isn't immature. If you think it is I'd highly suggest you tell that to the multimillion membership of AA
I apologize if you've struggled with alcoholism. I did not gather that from your posts, only that in the past you've based social interactions around drinking and are struggling to move beyond that. I'd never equate alcoholism with immaturity. Please don't put words in my mouth.
Good luck to you. I hope you find what you're missing in your life right now.
Thank you. And I'm sorry for reacting, but I guess I came here to feel validating. Telling my dogs I'm lonely and bored gets old.
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candythorns wrote: »candythorns wrote: »I'll be honest, you're striking me as a bit immature. My husband was military, multiple deployments for months at a time. I'd have been up *kitten* creek if I'd depended on him for all my social interactions. What do you want? You don't like hobbies, you don't want to meet people, the only thing you've mentioned with any amount of enjoyment is drinking. Join a yoga or spin class ffs!
Red flags everywhere with the male coworker. You need a girlfriend that you can go for pedicures and shopping and get gossipy with, not a stand-in husband.
Having someone away long term with the hopes of a return, is quite different then 1 week on or off. I have some friends but to be honest, when girlfriends get controlling (which they have) or crazy (non stop talk about how they want their parents to die) I cut that *kitten* loose!
Also you strike me as someone who doesn't read the whole story because I do sign up for fitness classes. These are pretty much the only classes I've found that are ok because any more class commitment where I need to be there weekly takes a day away from when I may get to spend time with my husband.
I go to concerts alone, movies alone, workout alone. Social anxiety is a thing so I haven't found a meetup yet that I've actually forced myself to go to. Also not everyone makes friends easy.
Emotions are not immature. Wanting to make things better are not immature. Holding things in for years for me HAS been immature. I'm gonna live, and thrive, and say *kitten* you for thinking you're so special and different just because you're some military wife.
Thank you to those who could actually empathize with my rant because *kitten* I'm allowed to express these things and be frustrated for things being hum drum when I'm not.
And p.s. Having issues with alcoholism isn't immature. If you think it is I'd highly suggest you tell that to the multimillion membership of AA
I apologize if you've struggled with alcoholism. I did not gather that from your posts, only that in the past you've based social interactions around drinking and are struggling to move beyond that. I'd never equate alcoholism with immaturity. Please don't put words in my mouth.
Good luck to you. I hope you find what you're missing in your life right now.
Thank you. And I'm sorry for reacting, but I guess I came here to feel validating. Telling my dogs I'm lonely and bored gets old.
No worries. Trust me, that part I do understand!
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Allow me to make another comment. Society around us is constantly changing, and a lot of today's normal I find hard to accept.
In this thread I'm hearing the cry of a wife wanting a bit more of my old fashioned normal where a man and a woman get married and the two shall become one flesh. Some of the responses are leaning towards the modern normal where two people get married and seem to maintain two separate independent lives.
I'm sure we can live our different lives without being unkind in the responses to the original poster here.2 -
Has this been your first real partner/boyfriend?
First marriage?
Have y'all tried counseling?0 -
Thanks to everyone for their support, I am dipping out at this point.
We are actually a really progressive couple! (Or maybe we aren't and I need to assess that). And when our schedules matched we often did things alone and went out without each other....when we wanted. But now it's like, I should go out just in the one week he's off schedule and try to spend time with him in the week our schedules match. (call me old fashioned for thinking it's essential to see your partner)
We have also not gone to counselling. But thank you for your suggestion.
Thanks again all0 -
Kasner1975 wrote: »happimess1 wrote: »i am about to read How to win friends and influence people.
i have no aspirations to win, even a participation ribbon would do just fine
Interesting.... I just downloaded that book last night
I listened to it several months back, got a lot out of it...
Although with a gun to my head, I'd say I got a little more out of "How to stop worrying and start living" also Dale Carnegie... I highly recommend it
If you're in to audiobooks...
"How Not to Die "
"Practicing Mindfulness"
"The Untethered Soul "
All blew my freaking mind..." Zen and the Art of Happiness " is also great...
Trying to get through."The Book of Joy" at the moment... Deep stuff...
Enjoy!0 -
JstTheWayIam wrote: »Kasner1975 wrote: »happimess1 wrote: »i am about to read How to win friends and influence people.
i have no aspirations to win, even a participation ribbon would do just fine
Interesting.... I just downloaded that book last night
I listened to it several months back, got a lot out of it...
Although with a gun to my head, I'd say I got a little more out of "How to stop worrying and start living" also Dale Carnegie... I highly recommend it
If you're in to audiobooks...
"How Not to Die "
"Practicing Mindfulness"
"The Untethered Soul "
All blew my freaking mind..." Zen and the Art of Happiness " is also great...
Trying to get through."The Book of Joy" at the moment... Deep stuff...
Enjoy!
I love The Happiness Trap, and The Subtle Art of not Giving a *kitten*
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candythorns wrote: »JstTheWayIam wrote: »Kasner1975 wrote: »happimess1 wrote: »i am about to read How to win friends and influence people.
i have no aspirations to win, even a participation ribbon would do just fine
Interesting.... I just downloaded that book last night
I listened to it several months back, got a lot out of it...
Although with a gun to my head, I'd say I got a little more out of "How to stop worrying and start living" also Dale Carnegie... I highly recommend it
If you're in to audiobooks...
"How Not to Die "
"Practicing Mindfulness"
"The Untethered Soul "
All blew my freaking mind..." Zen and the Art of Happiness " is also great...
Trying to get through."The Book of Joy" at the moment... Deep stuff...
Enjoy!
I love The Happiness Trap, and The Subtle Art of not Giving a *kitten*
I've heard good and bad about The SA of NGAF... I may check it out next, I've got like 3 free books right now, I've fallen behind...
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You are here so you are likely trying to get healthy. Why not get healthy and get friends at the same time. Sign up for a weekly class or team zumba or yoga or karate,baseball, or really anything active and at least once a week. Making friends as an adult the easiest way is to do so ia to do something anything with a group once a week after a few weeks you start chatting with folks then going to grab a coffee after class or whatever. Get out of the house and join a weekly activity group.1
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I think you find a way to sort out any marriage problems, perhaps discussing your feelings and how they could be solved. Marriage involves a lot of things not just do you love the other person. Your lonely and in a marriage that's not good because it creates a weak point for something like infidelity to sneak in. Most people don't mean to go have an affair it just starts kind of by accident with a conversation and just keeps creeping it's way in. I'm not saying meeting groups are bad, but if there are members of the opposite sex there I would think its playing with fire as you have already said your lonely and don't spend enough time together. My advice is to have a talk explain yourself and see where it goes.....best of luck2
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Do what women love to do best. Shopping ☺0
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