Partner wants you to lose weight.
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We can't motivate others unfortunately. You have to want it yourself. Is there nothing that makes you feel like making a change? The prospect of things like diabetes, heart disease and the like are enough for me. I know a lot of people say, "We all have to die sometime, may as well die happy!" For me things like the diseases I just mentioned are not going to contribute in any way to my happiness but rather subtract from it. I will not be happy with a disease that would require me to keep a check on my blood sugar or require me to use daily medications, plus extra doctors visits and even complications from these illnesses. I hate going to doctor and I hate being sick with even just a cold, let alone any disease that would be a life long disease. You have to find this motivation on your own.
Exercise does not have to mean busting your rump in the gym. It could mean taking a walk daily. There is something you two could do together. A better diet does not mean abandoning all that is delicious. It means having smaller portions and not allowing your self to gorge. Sometimes people don't like the idea of changing because it feels daunting or they are worried they will miss out on things they really like. It doesn't have to be that way. Just take the first step. Out the door. And walk around the block together, then talk about changes you can make in meals together.0 -
It's not fair. She met you when you were overweight with poor eating habits, she befriended you as an overweight person with poor eating habits and she became romantically and physically bonded with you as an overweight person with poor eating habits.
Then your parents died, it was scary and she said get healthy or I'm leaving you. No it is not fair.
If you were healthy and fit to begin with and then you let yourself go after becoming romantically involved with her, I would say her ultimatum was fair. But this is not the case.
The last boyfriend I ever had was older than me, a smoker, slightly overweight and had poor eating habits. Despite this, I was attracted to him, we consummated our relationship and moved in together. And then I commenced to nagging him almost constantly to lose weight, stop smoking, and eat fresh fruits and vegetables and lose the Burger King habit. He always said he would and 7 years later, of course he still hadn't and we went our separate ways.
But I knew damn well what I was getting involved in. He loved his cigarettes and his Whoppers and his Pepsi and the TV and the couch and that was that. I was being a brat about it and my methods and ultimatums were useless anyway. I will not make that mistake again.
If people are afraid of disease and death and very personally committed to health and whatever it represents to them, they should find someone like minded from the get go. They should leave the more relaxed, hedonistic people alone. No moral judgment here, but, in my opinion, things just work out better that way.
Op specifically said that her partner did NOT say this.9 -
I'm sorry for your loss!
I'm of mixed emotion about your partners request. I love that my husband is honest when I ask him "does my butt look big" in such and such outfit. Sometimes I take it off and sometimes I still wear butt big outfit. Honesty is important I think in a relationship.
I'm mixed because we all want to be loved and excepted especially by our partners. You've had some trauma and it sometimes can be used as motivation and sometimes it's just too soon.
Can you have an honest conversation and say it's just too soon? Like - I'm aware of your feelings partner and I need you to know I can't do it right now? I need to work through some stuff.
From my experience only losing weight for someone else rarely "sticks".1 -
Getting serious about dropping unhealthy weight is similar to getting serious about getting out of debt: some people respond to logic (debt costs money), some people respond to emotion (just can't take it anymore).
Whichever it is, it comes down to choice. You're ultimately responsible for your own actions. No one can "make" you anything your'e not otherwise inclined to do.2 -
mayafit405 wrote: »squatsanddeadlift wrote: »So I am lucky enough to be dating a wonderful person. She loves me and I love her and we are on the whole, happy.
We have been together for almost 2 years and within the first few months of us getting together (we were friends for 3 years beforehand) I lost my father to a stroke, a month later I almost lost my mum to a heart attack.
I am slightly overweight and could do with losing some pounds. My eating habits are generally poor and I do desperately want to make changes. My dad was a smoker and overweight/drinker. My mum was (gave up after the heart attack) a smoker. Since this has happened my partner was concerned for my health and has stated that she wants me to lose weight and generally be more healthy and take care of myself.
I am not upset that she has said it. It is fair. I want to be healthy for her and my future family but I just struggle with it and I am upset that my lifestyle has resulted in my partner having to say anything at all.
She herself is a good weight and generally keeps active although her diet can poor at times. It is something we both acknowledge that we need to work on.
I love her so much and losing her is not what I want (she has not stated she will leave by the way) but I just can't motivate myself to make changes. I am more than welcoming of any comments and suggestions as I know how pathetic this sounds.
Thanks!
Check this video out . He's really inspiring and honest about weight loss. I believe he's lost 180 pounds
https://youtu.be/vNNBkWgMggs
You can do this!
i love him. . i follow his youtube channel he has alot of very useful videos everything from this one to ones on how to use a food scale and how he copes with his loose skin. he is awesome!
eta. . he is currently doing crossfit and kicking its *kitten*!!1 -
If you are only slightly overweight set your goal to lose .5 lb per week. You will have a 250 calorie deficit. That does not equal dramatically changing your diet or spending hours daily at the gym. Don't feel too overwhelmed.
Make small changes over time. It takes time to change habits.
Get a health check up.
Eat food you like. Make sure you get enough protein. Add more vegetables and fruits to your day. Try more whole grains.
Look at calories you are drinking. Maybe switching to diet pop, water, unsweetened teas could be a big enough change.
Use less condiments or dressings.
Eat less fried or breaded foods. Try different preparation methods.
Watch portion sizes of calorie dense items like nuts, seeds, bread, pasta, chips, desserts, rice, bananas, avocado, cheese, etc. This does not mean you should not eat them but it is easy to add a lot of calories fast with calorie dense foods. Be aware.
If you and your partner dine out often maybe try cooking more.
Try to increase your activity. Set a step goal of 2,000 more steps than you currently get. Take the stairs. Park farther away.
Walk. Dance. Swim. Hike. Bike. Run. Do active things with your partner. There are lots of free workouts on you tube you can try.5 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »It's not fair. She met you when you were overweight with poor eating habits, she befriended you as an overweight person with poor eating habits and she became romantically and physically bonded with you as an overweight person with poor eating habits.
Then your parents died, it was scary and she said get healthy or I'm leaving you. No it is not fair.
If you were healthy and fit to begin with and then you let yourself go after becoming romantically involved with her, I would say her ultimatum was fair. But this is not the case.
The last boyfriend I ever had was older than me, a smoker, slightly overweight and had poor eating habits. Despite this, I was attracted to him, we consummated our relationship and moved in together. And then I commenced to nagging him almost constantly to lose weight, stop smoking, and eat fresh fruits and vegetables and lose the Burger King habit. He always said he would and 7 years later, of course he still hadn't and we went our separate ways.
But I knew damn well what I was getting involved in. He loved his cigarettes and his Whoppers and his Pepsi and the TV and the couch and that was that. I was being a brat about it and my methods and ultimatums were useless anyway. I will not make that mistake again.
If people are afraid of disease and death and very personally committed to health and whatever it represents to them, they should find someone like minded from the get go. They should leave the more relaxed, hedonistic people alone. No moral judgment here, but, in my opinion, things just work out better that way.
Op specifically said that her partner did NOT say this.
No she didn't say this.0 -
edit to delete my comment
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OP is the post right above you.1
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mayafit405 wrote: »squatsanddeadlift wrote: »So I am lucky enough to be dating a wonderful person. She loves me and I love her and we are on the whole, happy.
We have been together for almost 2 years and within the first few months of us getting together (we were friends for 3 years beforehand) I lost my father to a stroke, a month later I almost lost my mum to a heart attack.
I am slightly overweight and could do with losing some pounds. My eating habits are generally poor and I do desperately want to make changes. My dad was a smoker and overweight/drinker. My mum was (gave up after the heart attack) a smoker. Since this has happened my partner was concerned for my health and has stated that she wants me to lose weight and generally be more healthy and take care of myself.
I am not upset that she has said it. It is fair. I want to be healthy for her and my future family but I just struggle with it and I am upset that my lifestyle has resulted in my partner having to say anything at all.
She herself is a good weight and generally keeps active although her diet can poor at times. It is something we both acknowledge that we need to work on.
I love her so much and losing her is not what I want (she has not stated she will leave by the way) but I just can't motivate myself to make changes. I am more than welcoming of any comments and suggestions as I know how pathetic this sounds.
Thanks!
Check this video out . He's really inspiring and honest about weight loss. I believe he's lost 180 poundshttps://youtu.be/vNNBkWgMggs
You can do this!
i love him. . i follow his youtube channel he has alot of very useful videos everything from this one to ones on how to use a food scale and how he copes with his loose skin. he is awesome!
eta. . he is currently doing crossfit and kicking its *kitten*!!
This was interesting. Question: Analysis by paralysis...
I know what I need to eat but getting myself to do it is just a pain... to many changes... freak out... fall of band wagon. Do you think a good place to start is just to do better than I did yesterday
I know what is a healthy breakfast so start with that... maintain for two weeks then work on healthy lunch... maintain for 2 weeks then work on healthy dinner
Likewise the gym... just go... do something... to build a habit?3 -
Yes, as others have suggested, a few small steps might be a good way to start. Even slight improvements in fitness are helpful and may lead to more steps down the road.0
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squatsanddeadlift wrote: »mayafit405 wrote: »squatsanddeadlift wrote: »So I am lucky enough to be dating a wonderful person. She loves me and I love her and we are on the whole, happy.
We have been together for almost 2 years and within the first few months of us getting together (we were friends for 3 years beforehand) I lost my father to a stroke, a month later I almost lost my mum to a heart attack.
I am slightly overweight and could do with losing some pounds. My eating habits are generally poor and I do desperately want to make changes. My dad was a smoker and overweight/drinker. My mum was (gave up after the heart attack) a smoker. Since this has happened my partner was concerned for my health and has stated that she wants me to lose weight and generally be more healthy and take care of myself.
I am not upset that she has said it. It is fair. I want to be healthy for her and my future family but I just struggle with it and I am upset that my lifestyle has resulted in my partner having to say anything at all.
She herself is a good weight and generally keeps active although her diet can poor at times. It is something we both acknowledge that we need to work on.
I love her so much and losing her is not what I want (she has not stated she will leave by the way) but I just can't motivate myself to make changes. I am more than welcoming of any comments and suggestions as I know how pathetic this sounds.
Thanks!
Check this video out . He's really inspiring and honest about weight loss. I believe he's lost 180 poundshttps://youtu.be/vNNBkWgMggs
You can do this!
i love him. . i follow his youtube channel he has alot of very useful videos everything from this one to ones on how to use a food scale and how he copes with his loose skin. he is awesome!
eta. . he is currently doing crossfit and kicking its *kitten*!!
This was interesting. Question: Analysis by paralysis...
I know what I need to eat but getting myself to do it is just a pain... to many changes... freak out... fall of band wagon. Do you think a good place to start is just to do better than I did yesterday
I know what is a healthy breakfast so start with that... maintain for two weeks then work on healthy lunch... maintain for 2 weeks then work on healthy dinner
Likewise the gym... just go... do something... to build a habit?
Yes! That's what I've been doing recently. Work on one meal, give it a go, work out all the bugs, let things settle, then move on to the next meal or snack when I'm ready.
About your girl, I'm sure she just meant to express concern about your health and hope you are and will be okay. Try not to be embarrassed or slighted by it. I'm thrilled to see you're taking steps; it'll work out 3 -
Inactivity increases the chance of a stroke. So if you want to do it for her and family I suggest you start off by walking 10-15mins per day, for couple of days. Gradually increasing the time and days. Being constant is the key. Walk with your women, and it won't even feel like exercise. Spring is here, it's a good time to start.3
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I lost my mother less than a year ago, so I can relate to the loss you've felt. She was my best friend as well as my mother, so double whammy. A loss can really knock us in ways we weren't expecting. I'm sure you're no different. So, before anything else, know you're okay and you'll be fine.
Pardon the length of this, I know I'm a bit wordy at times.
First, I'd like to say that I admire your honesty with yourself. I admire that you acknowledge that your SO wants what is best for you, even if you aren't quite ready to accept what that "best" is at this point.
Second: You're aware to some degree of what you want and why. That's a great start. I think, and I could be very wrong, but I think that even though you want what is right, you've found you're not quite willing enough to follow thru to get what you want because it feels safe for right now. You're straddling the fence, so to speak. You want it, but you don't want it enough. Something to ponder over: It's possible you're wanting it for the wrong reasons. While it's wonderful and admirable to want to be healthy because you love her, if you take her out of the equation, what are you left with? I suppose what I'm trying to say, is that it's possible you aren't motivated because you're not really doing it for you.
As far as "I am upset that my lifestyle has resulted in my partner having to say anything at all", I so get that. No one wants to hear it, but yeah, we do need to hear it at times. We're smacked in the face with what we've been trying to hide from. It's a wake up call, but oh the guilt.
Ok, so since I know I give up too easily or get discouraged or (in time) lack motivation, like you, I had to start at the very beginning and think of what I really wanted. Did I just want to get thin? Did I just want the scale numbers to go down? Did I just want to get rid of the fat, the ashamed feelings, and the guilt? OR Did I want to be healthy? Strong? Confident? Once I figured out what I truly wanted, I had to dig deeper. I got out a pen and paper. I suggest you do the same. Start writing down reasons WHY you want what you've decided on. For me, I can't help but think, "well DUH, I want to be thinner!" While it may be truthful, it's not going to be a sustaining reason. Still, if that's all you can write down.
For me, I don't want to get diabetes. I was tested and I don't even have pre-diabetes, so that's great, but I hate needles, so I reallllly don't want to get it. A couple other less peronsal reasons were: I want to fit into smaller clothes. I want to feel more confident and less ashamed. Anyway, write out your list. Give it a lot of thought. Write down as many reasons as you can and keep your list in a place where you know you'll find it.
When you hit those "I don't want to go to the gym" moments or those "I don't really care" moments, go get that list. Read it out loud and ask yourself if anything has changed. Now ask yourself what you want more. Do you want to temporarily satisfy your taste buds and sabotage your health and possibly other important things in your life, or do you want to enable yourself to be the stronger, more confident you that you want to give to your loved one? (Don't ask what you want more between pie or losing weight. That's not the ultimate goal or outcome).
I ended up writing a list of about 17(ish) reasons. I saved the best for last, and I think everyone should have it as the last reason... simply because it's the most important. When it comes down to it, I want what I want BECAUSE I'M WORTH IT (and so are you). By the time I get to that last reason, I'm refocused on my true reasons, I'm motivated to get moving, and I make the right choice and have always been happy for it. Maybe your list can do the same for you. Find your worth and reclaim yourself.
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There is a psychological condition known as Readiness for Change. There are different levels that indicate a person's readiness to make meaningful changes in their lives.
The fact is that, if you are not there emotionally and psychologically, all the prodding, nagging, helpful suggestions, ultimatums, etc, are likely going to be useless. I worked for 8 years in cardiac rehabilitation when I first started my professional career. Even a heart attack or bypass surgery wasn't enough to motivate people to mkae long-term changes if they weren't ready for it.
I agree with your decision to look into counseling. It's important to find that "switch" inside you that prevents you from moving forward to healthier changes.
I also recommend trying to start an exercise program. Doesn't have to be complicated or even particularly strenuous--just some structured activity that's just hard enough to effect some small fitness improvements. I usually make this suggestion first rather than focusing solely on calorie restriction or losing weight. Why? Because changing eating habits is a lot harder and often takes a lot longer to see meaningful results. It's usually easier to "force" yourself to do a little activity each day. It's a public demonstration to your SO that you are making an effort. And, IMO, small improvements in fitness can be a good motivation and "base" to make further positive lifestyle changes. When you feel more fit, you feel better about yourself, and when you feel better about yourself, you can become more motivated, inspired, etc, to make even more lifestyle changes -- ie. diet.
It's still an external motivator, but I have found that it can also be a pathway to internal motivation, which is the key to making permanent changes.
In the meantime, don't beat yourself up if you are finding it hard to start the process. Don't get caught up in the "I just have to be strong and do it" self-criticizing trap. The emotional forces involved can be strong. Set yourself up for success by taking small, achievable steps. Good luck.
I couldn't agree more with everything you said - no need to comment then !1 -
squatsanddeadlift wrote: »mayafit405 wrote: »squatsanddeadlift wrote: »So I am lucky enough to be dating a wonderful person. She loves me and I love her and we are on the whole, happy.
We have been together for almost 2 years and within the first few months of us getting together (we were friends for 3 years beforehand) I lost my father to a stroke, a month later I almost lost my mum to a heart attack.
I am slightly overweight and could do with losing some pounds. My eating habits are generally poor and I do desperately want to make changes. My dad was a smoker and overweight/drinker. My mum was (gave up after the heart attack) a smoker. Since this has happened my partner was concerned for my health and has stated that she wants me to lose weight and generally be more healthy and take care of myself.
I am not upset that she has said it. It is fair. I want to be healthy for her and my future family but I just struggle with it and I am upset that my lifestyle has resulted in my partner having to say anything at all.
She herself is a good weight and generally keeps active although her diet can poor at times. It is something we both acknowledge that we need to work on.
I love her so much and losing her is not what I want (she has not stated she will leave by the way) but I just can't motivate myself to make changes. I am more than welcoming of any comments and suggestions as I know how pathetic this sounds.
Thanks!
Check this video out . He's really inspiring and honest about weight loss. I believe he's lost 180 poundshttps://youtu.be/vNNBkWgMggs
You can do this!
i love him. . i follow his youtube channel he has alot of very useful videos everything from this one to ones on how to use a food scale and how he copes with his loose skin. he is awesome!
eta. . he is currently doing crossfit and kicking its *kitten*!!
This was interesting. Question: Analysis by paralysis...
I know what I need to eat but getting myself to do it is just a pain... to many changes... freak out... fall of band wagon. Do you think a good place to start is just to do better than I did yesterday
I know what is a healthy breakfast so start with that... maintain for two weeks then work on healthy lunch... maintain for 2 weeks then work on healthy dinner
Likewise the gym... just go... do something... to build a habit?
You can eat what you like, as long as you're in a calorie deficit you will lose weight, obviously eating a more balanced diet is better nutritionally for you but making small changes can have a big reward. Sometimes the mentality that you have to make drastic changes and eat bland food you don't like to lose weight can stop you before you even start. It's just not necessary, there are awesome recipes for Fakeaways and tasty lower calorie comfort food on Pinterest. When you try to restrict yourself from eating foods you enjoy, you are more likely to self-sabotage, binge and quit, which puts you back at square one.
I second @Theo166's suggestion of logging what you are currently eating for a couple of days, don't worry about calories or macros, just use it as a tool to see what you are putting into your body. At the end of the week you can look through it and see where most of your unnecessary calories are coming from. Also add some people on MFP as friends, having people who are on the same journey as you can be a big help for motivation and accountability.
For me it was cooking with a good slosh of Olive Oil all the time, so I switched to spray oil and just use enough to stop the food sticking, that in itself can cut back 150-200 calories per meal and also reducing the amount of chocolate I would keep in the house, I now buy the kids snack size Dairy Milk bars (95 cals a bar) instead of keeping a big block of Galaxy in the fridge and eating it all in one night.
Meal planning has also been a game changer for me, I plan a week ahead, I base my shopping list on my Planner sheet and don't buy things that aren't on it. I prep my workday lunches on a Sunday and then it's all ready to go. I factor in nights out, a proper takeaway or pic n mix if I'm going to the cinema and either work in a bit more activity, bank some calories from other days or have a lighter lunch that day. I don't always rigidly stick to it, sometime I swap my days about. It doesn't work for everyone but it's worked great for me, previously I was a serial starter who would quit after 10 days, because I kept thinking I had to live on the minimum figure that MFP spits out. I'm now on day 78 of logging and Week 15 of meal planning, I've quit the gym and do workouts I enjoy at home and borrow a dog to increase my walking. I'm saving money and I've lost 8kg so far (17.5lb)
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squatsanddeadlift wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »have you thought about why you cant make the changes to be healthy...? whats stopping you from making the necessary changes? fear of failure is very common, as is feeling like you don't deserve to be healthier and happier.
considering some of this might help make it all stick.
I wonder if it is the do not deserve thing. I have organised seeing a therapist through the doctor as I am coming to realise I did not handle the last year as I should have done.squatsanddeadlift wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »have you thought about why you cant make the changes to be healthy...? whats stopping you from making the necessary changes? fear of failure is very common, as is feeling like you don't deserve to be healthier and happier.
considering some of this might help make it all stick.
I wonder if it is the do not deserve thing. I have organised seeing a therapist through the doctor as I am coming to realise I did not handle the last year as I should have done.
I have two suggestions for you
- track and log (in MFP?) what you eat for a week. Don't worry about making any changes, just log and become aware of what you are eating.
- Start reading up on stuff related to healthy diet and being at healthy weight. Figure out your BMI and what is your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure)
Increasing your awareness of where you are, and some benefits that might come with change will help you with your decision and ability to make constructive changes. You don't have to become an ultra marathoner, small changes can have a huge impact.
I took your advice. I have logged today and will carry on this week. It has actually been useful as I rocked up 2,200 calories and 1100 of that was from my dinner...8 -
squatsanddeadlift wrote: »squatsanddeadlift wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »have you thought about why you cant make the changes to be healthy...? whats stopping you from making the necessary changes? fear of failure is very common, as is feeling like you don't deserve to be healthier and happier.
considering some of this might help make it all stick.
I wonder if it is the do not deserve thing. I have organised seeing a therapist through the doctor as I am coming to realise I did not handle the last year as I should have done.squatsanddeadlift wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »have you thought about why you cant make the changes to be healthy...? whats stopping you from making the necessary changes? fear of failure is very common, as is feeling like you don't deserve to be healthier and happier.
considering some of this might help make it all stick.
I wonder if it is the do not deserve thing. I have organised seeing a therapist through the doctor as I am coming to realise I did not handle the last year as I should have done.
I have two suggestions for you
- track and log (in MFP?) what you eat for a week. Don't worry about making any changes, just log and become aware of what you are eating.
- Start reading up on stuff related to healthy diet and being at healthy weight. Figure out your BMI and what is your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure)
Increasing your awareness of where you are, and some benefits that might come with change will help you with your decision and ability to make constructive changes. You don't have to become an ultra marathoner, small changes can have a huge impact.
I took your advice. I have logged today and will carry on this week. It has actually been useful as I rocked up 2,200 calories and 1100 of that was from my dinner...
Congrats! Just logging can be so powerful, you will naturally start to curb what you consider as excess. No outside forcing required.
I luv me a Jack In the Box lg Oreo Cookie Shake, but it's now not so appealing when I consider it's 1,100 calories all by itself. I will have it again, but I don't have the urge every time I drive by their very convenient location.2 -
squatsanddeadlift wrote: »squatsanddeadlift wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »have you thought about why you cant make the changes to be healthy...? whats stopping you from making the necessary changes? fear of failure is very common, as is feeling like you don't deserve to be healthier and happier.
considering some of this might help make it all stick.
I wonder if it is the do not deserve thing. I have organised seeing a therapist through the doctor as I am coming to realise I did not handle the last year as I should have done.squatsanddeadlift wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »have you thought about why you cant make the changes to be healthy...? whats stopping you from making the necessary changes? fear of failure is very common, as is feeling like you don't deserve to be healthier and happier.
considering some of this might help make it all stick.
I wonder if it is the do not deserve thing. I have organised seeing a therapist through the doctor as I am coming to realise I did not handle the last year as I should have done.
I have two suggestions for you
- track and log (in MFP?) what you eat for a week. Don't worry about making any changes, just log and become aware of what you are eating.
- Start reading up on stuff related to healthy diet and being at healthy weight. Figure out your BMI and what is your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure)
Increasing your awareness of where you are, and some benefits that might come with change will help you with your decision and ability to make constructive changes. You don't have to become an ultra marathoner, small changes can have a huge impact.
I took your advice. I have logged today and will carry on this week. It has actually been useful as I rocked up 2,200 calories and 1100 of that was from my dinner...
Congrats! Just logging can be so powerful, you will naturally start to curb what you consider as excess. No outside forcing required.
I luv me a Jack In the Box lg Oreo Cookie Shake, but it's now not so appealing when I consider it's 1,100 calories all by itself. I will have it again, but I don't have the urge every time I drive by their very convenient location.
I can see how you would naturally start to curb I food intake. It is weird to think how much you eat without thinking about it!!!4 -
squatsanddeadlift wrote: »squatsanddeadlift wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »have you thought about why you cant make the changes to be healthy...? whats stopping you from making the necessary changes? fear of failure is very common, as is feeling like you don't deserve to be healthier and happier.
considering some of this might help make it all stick.
I wonder if it is the do not deserve thing. I have organised seeing a therapist through the doctor as I am coming to realise I did not handle the last year as I should have done.squatsanddeadlift wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »have you thought about why you cant make the changes to be healthy...? whats stopping you from making the necessary changes? fear of failure is very common, as is feeling like you don't deserve to be healthier and happier.
considering some of this might help make it all stick.
I wonder if it is the do not deserve thing. I have organised seeing a therapist through the doctor as I am coming to realise I did not handle the last year as I should have done.
I have two suggestions for you
- track and log (in MFP?) what you eat for a week. Don't worry about making any changes, just log and become aware of what you are eating.
- Start reading up on stuff related to healthy diet and being at healthy weight. Figure out your BMI and what is your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure)
Increasing your awareness of where you are, and some benefits that might come with change will help you with your decision and ability to make constructive changes. You don't have to become an ultra marathoner, small changes can have a huge impact.
I took your advice. I have logged today and will carry on this week. It has actually been useful as I rocked up 2,200 calories and 1100 of that was from my dinner...
Good man! Keep that up!
Don't take on too much - remember only one bad habit at a time.2
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