Is it rude to decline friend requests?

LovesDogsAndBooks
LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
edited November 17 in Getting Started
I just started posting here yesterday and got some friend requests which I declined, explaining that for now I want to stick to the forums for information and motivation. I cannot be the only one who'd rather not do the friend thing online? To be honest, I don't even understand what it entails to be MFP friends.
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Replies

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I don't really accept friend requests anymore. The people who are on my friends list are generally people that over time here I have come to respect and have learned from and typically have similar fitness aspirations, etc.
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
    Some people love the friends feature and newsfeeds while others don't. I participate in the forums but keep everything else private.

    I don't have any friends at all (from the point of view of the friends feature) on MFP. I decline all requests. I've read where some people don't decline or accept friend requests but just let the requests pile up.

    The important thing is to figure out the best way for you to use MFP and run with that. There's no need to do things that you don't like.
  • ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken
    ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken Posts: 1,530 Member
    We are under no obligation to accept a friend request. I like to keep my friends few because it better enables me to be more supportive. It is nice to have friends here because we can get a group of friends with similar goals, personalities, and interests or even similar medical problems or life circumstances. Some people don't feel like they need a private group of friends and are here strictly for the food diary and forum use. What ever feels right for you is what is best.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Not at all. The people on my list are those I have known for some time and we have similar goals. Even where we differ we are all respectful...or intentionally disrespectful at least.

    The person with the most toys wins, not the person with the most MFP friends.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
    Is it rude to decline to become friends with every person you meet IRL? I'm sort of baffled that you've been on here a day, with a generic avatar, and are already receiving requests. What did you post yesterday? ;)

    When I started on MFP, I reached out to a few women my own age, with similar goals, and most of those women are still active with me on here today as we continue to try to transform our bodies & health. They've been very helpful and encouraging to me, but not everyone wants that. Nowadays I rarely extend or accept FRs, especially if they don't include a message explaining why that person is interested in being friends with me. I'm sort of old-fashioned that way... I want to have something in common with a person, not just collect avatars on my friends page. :)
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    I see the requests and ignore them unless they send a really good message. I don't decline them as when I did that some one kept resending it :D

    I stick to local time zone friends and friends with similar interests, IE running.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    LovesDogsAndBooks wrote: »
    I just started posting here yesterday and got some friend requests which I declined, explaining that for now I want to stick to the forums for information and motivation. I cannot be the only one who'd rather not do the friend thing online? To be honest, I don't even understand what it entails to be MFP friends.

    Not rude in my opinion. Do what works for you.

    Personally I accept friend requests, but remove/block people as needed if their messages and/or wall posts have content that I have problems with.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    JustMissTracyToo wrote: »
    You will understand, given some time. Lots of people don't have many/any MFP friends, and just use the forums or diary. I'm not one of those people...lol...I LOVE my MFP friends, and have come to count on and value them just about as much as I do my friends IRL. xo

    <3
  • kaizaku
    kaizaku Posts: 1,039 Member
    I accept anyone and everyone. Couldn't care less. Apart from me other people need motivation. Sometimes I add exercise for a specific body part which no one knew about. Helping people without realising you helped them.

    That's why I never send request, since the chances of rejection is high. :)
  • ddveedub
    ddveedub Posts: 140 Member
    @LovesDogsAndBooks I'm sort of confused by the "friending" thing also. I've had people friend me but when I try to chitchat with them, I hear *crickets*. Or they don't continue to log in. Anyway, I will be curious to see your responses.

    @cwolfman13 I've seen you post here and there and you are always kind and supportive, so kudos to you!
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    edited March 2017
    Theo166 wrote: »
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    I'll add if they didn't include a note, you should feel zero guilt in refusing the request.

    However if you've bantered in the threads or they included a note with their FR, it would be kind to explain why you are declining.

    This is true! I never send a blank friend request, and appreciate getting a little note explaining why someone thinks they'd want to see my drivel on their newsfeed. Probably a 90% chance I'll either ignore or decline a blank FR, unless I'm in an exceptionally good mood.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    edited March 2017
    possibly, but I do it all the time. Don't let if make you feel bad. You have rights too ya know ;)

    I only accept if I recognize you from a discussion, there is a thoughtful post, or you just seem that awesome. If you have no profile info and over 30 friends I don't see what you need me for.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    There are alot of people on my FL that are inspirational and I admire them. I have a few that just seem to collect people, and others fade away, but surprisingly a few come back. I try to support where I can, and just find them interesting. Some hardly ever post, others are on everyday. I like checking in with them.
  • neldabg
    neldabg Posts: 1,452 Member
    Not rude at all. I myself stopped excitedly adding people, especially users from those "add me please" discussions when I realized just how many people there make MFP accounts and disappear after a short while. On top of that, some users never acknowledge responses to their status updates, and I don't like wasting time giving support that's not read. Also, I like to know who everyone is on my list, so I keep the list at a manageable amount.
  • LovesDogsAndBooks
    LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    I just reread my op to figure out how you got the idea that I deem them unworthy of my friendship. That's certainly not what I think at all.
  • LovesDogsAndBooks
    LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
    try2again wrote: »
    Is it rude to decline to become friends with every person you meet IRL? I'm sort of baffled that you've been on here a day, with a generic avatar, and are already receiving requests. What did you post yesterday? ;)

    When I started on MFP, I reached out to a few women my own age, with similar goals, and most of those women are still active with me on here today as we continue to try to transform our bodies & health. They've been very helpful and encouraging to me, but not everyone wants that. Nowadays I rarely extend or accept FRs, especially if they don't include a message explaining why that person is interested in being friends with me. I'm sort of old-fashioned that way... I want to have something in common with a person, not just collect avatars on my friends page. :)

    I opened one thread asking questions about the food logging feature, and answered another newbie in their post, that's all.
  • Rhody_Hoosier
    Rhody_Hoosier Posts: 688 Member
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    I would just decline without sending them a message as to why you don't find them worthy of your friendship. Maybe that's ruder though but I think when we start over explaining that's when things go haywire.

    Yeah i don't send a reply when I decline requests. This is the internets...we not friends.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
    LovesDogsAndBooks wrote: »
    try2again wrote: »
    Is it rude to decline to become friends with every person you meet IRL? I'm sort of baffled that you've been on here a day, with a generic avatar, and are already receiving requests. What did you post yesterday? ;)

    When I started on MFP, I reached out to a few women my own age, with similar goals, and most of those women are still active with me on here today as we continue to try to transform our bodies & health. They've been very helpful and encouraging to me, but not everyone wants that. Nowadays I rarely extend or accept FRs, especially if they don't include a message explaining why that person is interested in being friends with me. I'm sort of old-fashioned that way... I want to have something in common with a person, not just collect avatars on my friends page. :)

    I opened one thread asking questions about the food logging feature, and answered another newbie in their post, that's all.

    I was just teasing you ;)
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
    nope
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    Not rude at all. I don't accept many requests anymore. But I'm also not a person who interacts with my feed much.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    edited March 2017
    I decline anyone who doesn't send a message with the invite. But I also state that right on my profile. I don't think it's rude. A lot of people don't want 1000 friends, they just want ones that help them go toward their goals. Some people do benefit from having a lot of friends though. Personal preference.
  • LovesDogsAndBooks
    LovesDogsAndBooks Posts: 190 Member
    I opened one thread asking questions about the food logging feature, and answered another newbie in their post, that's all.[/quote]

    I was just teasing you ;)[/quote]

    Got it!

    And what you said about not wanting to just collect avatars on your friends page resonated with me. Thanks!
  • rainbow198
    rainbow198 Posts: 2,245 Member
    edited March 2017
    Not at all! In fact I felt the same way as you when I first came here. I was here just for the forums.

    Then I slowly started meeting some amazing people and eventually made some really great friends!

    The support is great too. I lost half of my weight (about 40 pounds) all on my own, then I found MFP. It was great meeting like-minded people that were into health & fitness just as much as I am.

    But the choice is all yours!
  • ilfaith
    ilfaith Posts: 16,769 Member
    In my early days on MFP I accepted every friend request I received. Eventually, I stopped accepting requests from anyone with a blank or private profile (unless I had already interacted with them in the forums or through private messages), and I posted on my own profile that I would only accept friends who sent a message along with their request. I never actually decline anyone, which is why I have 200+ MFPers sitting in friend request limbo (perhaps that is ruder than outright declining them).

    For the past few months I have been unable to access my friend requests, so sadly, anyone who does send one is being ignored.
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