Prenuptial agreement? What do you think?
A friend of mine got recently divorced. He was financially independent and didn't get a prenup signed. His ex wife (who is 15 years younger) and he were married for 5 years and no kids. Now it's a major court battle for money. Had he signed an agreeable prenup, this may not be the case.
With divorce rates at 50%, if you had came into a marriage with a lot of money, would you have a prenup signed?
For me, it's a yes.
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With divorce rates at 50%, if you had came into a marriage with a lot of money, would you have a prenup signed?
For me, it's a yes.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies
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The only valid point of 1 for me's to prevent a, no fault division of my own property/not've to; support them not to gain and/or retain anything via, them/our marriage & thus my only reasoning for, obtaining 1's to; leave a loveless marriage & not, lose any of; my own assets/income via a judgment since, I am the; 1 ceasing it!
The problem with being a dependent's that, there's no guarantee that even if awarded anything that; you'll actually receive it or even a replacement of, it if; they destroy the asset/quit their job! People many times've successfully, done whatever it takes to; prevent having to divide assets and/or even, provide support & thus've left, their ex destitute despite; a judge's order not to!0 -
It'd be interesting to see. The argument that I used to hear for so long was that if it was "true love", why would one need a prenup? But I've seen so many clients that have "started over" after a divorce and why they're training with me before getting out there and dating again. Both female and male.
"True Love" doesn't always seem to last for everyone and in that case, having a prenup if the person was already well off would be the smart idea.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 2 -
17 years of marriage with issues along the way I can say if you feel you need one you need to think if shes the right one.3
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Meh... He knew as much as she did what they were getting into....
Side note... Do these stats of "divorce rates at 50%" include ppl that get divorced 3 or 4 times? Because that'll skew the numbers.
And no.. Why get married then.. I mean that in a strictly contractual sense. A prenup is just making it even more formal of a "business arrangement"1 -
Firstly let me say we have been happily married for 8 years and we were together for four years before that.
We got a prenup when we got married and neither of us were wealthy.
I'm from South Africa so it might not be the same as the US but our agreement says that we each keep what we took into the marriage and what we acquire while married. So if she decides to go out and buy herself expensive jewelry then I have no claim to it. It works for us because we each earn their own income and we have separate bank accounts.
The old saying "hope for the best but prepare for the worst" rings true in this case. It is very romantic to say that you shouldn't get married if you plan for divorce but reality is often very different. People get divorced for all sorts of reasons and not just cause they cant stand each other anymore.
I think besides the fact that it saves a whole lot of time and legal fees, it also helps to end the marriage amicably instead of with a war, if it should ever come to that.3 -
Firstly let me say we have been happily married for 8 years and we were together for four years before that.
We got a prenup when we got married and neither of us were wealthy.
I'm from South Africa so it might not be the same as the US but our agreement says that we each keep what we took into the marriage and what we acquire while married. So if she decides to go out and buy herself expensive jewelry then I have no claim to it. It works for us because we each earn their own income and we have separate bank accounts.
The old saying "hope for the best but prepare for the worst" rings true in this case. It is very romantic to say that you shouldn't get married if you plan for divorce but reality is often very different. People get divorced for all sorts of reasons and not just cause they cant stand each other anymore.
I think besides the fact that it saves a whole lot of time and legal fees, it also helps to end the marriage amicably instead of with a war, if it should ever come to that.
I have issues with marriage in general, that said - if I didn't have the stance I do and were ever to get married.
The above quoted reply sums up my views nicely - I would definitely get one.
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Why even get married if you are going to "need" a prenup? Just stay single and keep all of your $.0
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Pre nup all the way. We work to hard to loose our progress. The relationship world is far different than 2 decades ago... just my 2cents.0
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I got married 17 years ago. We had no money or significant assets. No prenup. I still don't think it is necessary for us.
I don't know how I'd feel if I had a lot of money/assets going into a marriage.
When my sister got married she was asked to sign a prenup and did. It was more to put her in her place than anything. It was definitely not to end things amicably should they divorce.
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deputy_randolph wrote: »Why even get married if you are going to "need" a prenup? Just stay single and keep all of your $.
The problem is that in South Africa, if you have been in a relationship and living together for a certain period the courts treat it as if you were married and then community of property applies. This means you are going to lose half your stuff anyway lolI got married 17 years ago. We had no money or significant assets. No prenup. I still don't think it is necessary for us.
I don't know how I'd feel if I had a lot of money/assets going into a marriage.
When my sister got married she was asked to sign a prenup and did. It was more to put her in her place than anything. It was definitely not to end things amicably should they divorce.
This is in the case of your sister and is certainly not universal. In our case it was my wife that demanded a pre-nup and at the time she was the one that had the lower income.0 -
There are ways to protect your money without a marriage agreement but those only work when one party dies. My mom's cousin's husband has his estate set up so that his fortune goes to his kids and not his wife which would explain why she hates him and they live separately in their house but she won't leave
but with regard to this question, I think one's assets acquired before marriage should be kept as yours but during marriage you are living and working as a team so that should be shared. So a marriage agreement is important for those who went into a relationship with lots of assets. So I don't seem any shame or whatnot with having a marriage agreement.
Thinking of these things as stigmas or something to be ashamed of is silly in this day and age. The divorce rate is high why not protect yourself? Entering a marriage is basically creating a contract so why not set out the parameters beforehand4 -
Marriage is a contract though. Basically people aren't legally married without having a marriage license and the same with divorce.Meh... He knew as much as she did what they were getting into....
Side note... Do these stats of "divorce rates at 50%" include ppl that get divorced 3 or 4 times? Because that'll skew the numbers.
And no.. Why get married then.. I mean that in a strictly contractual sense. A prenup is just making it even more formal of a "business arrangement"
As much as people would like to think that all they need is whatever religious ceremony they chose for marriage, unless a license is signed by both parties and filed, it's not contractually binding.
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
Because there may be great intention to stay committed by the person with the prenup, but possibly not by the other person they are marrying?deputy_randolph wrote: »Why even get married if you are going to "need" a prenup? Just stay single and keep all of your $.
If you don't think there are gold diggers out there (by both genders), I don't know what to tell you.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Lol, it seems relationships that are strong reduce food control! And divorce gets everyone to try to get thin again.Gimsteinn1 wrote: »Depends on so much...
Like is the wife staying a home mom ? If so then I'm sorry but she owns half of everything you've earned sense she stopped working to raise THEIR family. Is the husband gonna be a staying at home dad? Then he should get half of everything since he stopped working.
But other then that.... only reason to get married
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I would recommend getting a prenup, things and people change over time. If drafted correctly, it serves to protect both parties from some of financial nastiness that usually ensues during the dissolution of a marriage.
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I can't imagine going into a marriage without committing all that I am and all that I have. Better,worse, richer, poorer, sickness, health. If I got taken for a ride, at least I'd still be me. Anyway, it's been working for us for nearly 20 years.3
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I think if I were wealthy and considering entering into a marriage, I would want one.
I was married for 15 years. We married young and didn't have anything to our name...fast forward 15 years and 3 kids later...I was a stay at home mom and everything we had was in my husband's name.
I left with nothing. No bank account, no credit to purchase a home or vehicle.
So for this reason, I would.1 -
A friend of mine got recently divorced. He was financially independent and didn't get a prenup signed. His ex wife (who is 15 years younger) and he were married for 5 years and no kids. Now it's a major court battle for money. Had he signed an agreeable prenup, this may not be the case.
Not really. Even in community property states assets that where in place before the marriage are not subject to 50/50 rules, as well even some financials that are gained during the marriage. And in community property states some aspects of prenups are superseded by community property laws. All depending on a lot of things.
That said, I am an all-in kind of person. That is what I committed to when I got married. If I was worried about asset protection and such I wouldn't have gotten married.
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No one gets married thinking they'll get divorced, getting a pre-nup doesn't mean you think it won't work out, but I'm the type of person who likes to be prepared for all scenarios. If I had a lot of assets I'd worked hard for you can bet I'll be protecting those, and I wouldn't be offended if the reverse situation occurred and my partner wanted a pre-nup. Hopefully it never comes into effect, or any separation would be amicable, but you never know what life is going to throw at you and I've seen couples who you'd think were perfect and one thing happened that no one ever thought would, and the wife basically had to start over financially even though she'd been working a 90k job for years.0
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We didn't get a prenup, but before getting married my wife and I agreed not to kill each other after watching some movie where the marriage fell apart and they both went psycho. I forget which one...
Good results so far since I'm not dead.4 -
A friend of mine got recently divorced. He was financially independent and didn't get a prenup signed. His ex wife (who is 15 years younger) and he were married for 5 years and no kids. Now it's a major court battle for money. Had he signed an agreeable prenup, this may not be the case.
With divorce rates at 50%, if you had came into a marriage with a lot of money, would you have a prenup signed?
For me, it's a yes.
Is this the guy you mentioned in the DNA Testing thread? The one whose wife left him because he bought a race wheelset when he could have spent the money taking her on a vacation?0 -
Nikki10129 wrote: »No one gets married thinking they'll get divorced, getting a pre-nup doesn't mean you think it won't work out, but I'm the type of person who likes to be prepared for all scenarios. If I had a lot of assets I'd worked hard for you can bet I'll be protecting those, and I wouldn't be offended if the reverse situation occurred and my partner wanted a pre-nup. Hopefully it never comes into effect, or any separation would be amicable, but you never know what life is going to throw at you and I've seen couples who you'd think were perfect and one thing happened that no one ever thought would.
I completely agree. Things happen and people change. I think pre-nups are very wise in my opinion.
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No way in hell.0
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I see the point of it. Mostly if I really loved someone and he was rich (and I'm not), I'd probably insist on signing one just so that he knows that I'm NOT in for the money, you know?
I'm divorced and remarried (my husband had a divorce too) and we signed no prenup, for what it's worth.1 -
Actually the divorce rate for people married since 1990 is only 30%.
I don't know if pre-nups are necessary. I guess it couldn't hurt. I would have never asked my wife for one 25 years ago. Hindsight makes me optimistic, I guess.
I don't know of anyone that has had a pre-nup. I think, if you are getting married and already planning an exit strategy, perhaps you should reconsider getting married.3 -
Yes when a lot of money is involved everyone needs to protect themselves.0
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I think it is a good idea but is specific to each couple.
I was married for 10 years, no children, separated now for over 2 years and I think the main difference of why some could need it is that sometimes, people turn into the nastiest version of themselves, almost unimaginable versions, whether they are the one leaving or the one being left. (Abuse of any kind aside, mental, physical etc. as a reason for dissolving the marriage)
We did not. Mutual love and respect built over time, means you don't act like a toddler screaming 'MINE, MINE, MINE!' when the marriage dissolves. You love/loved them, remember that. Hurts like the air has been turned to shards of glass but you figure it out.
I came into the relationship with much more in money and holdings, which I was advised against doing without a pre-nup but I wouldn't change a thing. It could have, of course, gone very poorly for me.
Good thread, thank you for posting it, the replies have been interesting and quite varied
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I personally cant see why others get so upset over the idea of signing a pre-nup.
My SO and I don't have a lot of wealth by any means, but he owns a home, a few vehicles, a nice property, will inherit an entire company. I shouldn't be entitled to all of the above just because we met, fell in love, and decided to get married.
Our neighbor lived in a construction trailer (the one you tow behind your truck) for years because he didnt sign a prenup, and she took everything in the divorce. Hes finally got a house of his own, but is still paying her thousands a month because hes got to continue her lifestyle as it was before, and pay for the house (which he bought) that she lives in.
I love my man enough that if he wanted to get married, I wouldnt want him spending the marriage worried that if something goes wrong, I will take everything hes built or earned.deputy_randolph wrote: »Why even get married if you are going to "need" a prenup? Just stay single and keep all of your $.
Why even get married is probably the most confusing question I see in regards to prenups.
Why not commit yourself before the lord to the person you love?
Why not make your marriage a legal status and become his wife in name change also?
Why is the fact that a worst case scenario plan is such a downer, that marriage is no longer worth it?
I choose not to wear rose colored glasses and pretend that "love triumphs all". Its a good ideology, but at the end of the day, its just not fact.3 -
A prenup (at least in Canada) doesn't protect the matrimonial home anyways so unless there is a huge gap in your financial situation in terms of other assets and investments anything after the marriage is fair game anyway. So would i sign one? Sure. would I need one? Nah, me and my bf are pretty equally poor lol0
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Don't you have to fill out a bunch of forms to get legally married? Might as well slide another one in there.
"But if you love someone...."
"Oh, but the sanctity of marriage...."
HAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
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