Prenuptial agreement? What do you think?

dbanks80

If I was financially stable b4 marriage yes I would get a prenup.

NorthCascades

TheRoadDog wrote: »

I don't know of anyone that has had a pre-nup. I think, if you are getting married and already planning an exit strategy, perhaps you should reconsider getting married.

Is a pre-nup actually an exit strategy? I mean, how many people only wear a seat belt when they're planning to crash their car????

Allgaun

I think it's a good idea for second marriages or if there are pre-existing children. I can see wanting to protect your assets for your kids.

caroldavison332

Prince William was asked if he was going to have Kate Middleton sign a pre-nup. He said no.

FreyasRebirth

We didn't, but everything we've accomplished was done together. If my husband were to pass away and I remarried before our children were independent, I would get a prenup to protect the wealth their father worked to provide for them.

jessiferrrb

NorthCascades wrote: »

TheRoadDog wrote: »

I don't know of anyone that has had a pre-nup. I think, if you are getting married and already planning an exit strategy, perhaps you should reconsider getting married.

Is a pre-nup actually an exit strategy? I mean, how many people only wear a seat belt when they're planning to crash their car????

this.

i would sign one if asked and would ask if not. i own my house. i love my house. i want to always own my house and i want it to be just mine. it gives me a sense of security and stability. i would absolutely share living in my house with someone but i've been in and out of love enough times to know that the house is a safer bet.

JeepHair77

I don't have an issue with a pre-nuptual agreement in concept. The law gives us the default rules about how property is allocated during a marriage, but those are just the "default" rules. There's no reason in the world why the parties shouldn't agree to different rules IF both parties understand what they're agreeing to. I'd hope they're both represented by good counsel in the negotiation process. I think, for me, that would potentially start our marriage off in sort of an adversarial place, but I don't judge what other people do.

I also think that if one party is quite wealthy and the other is not, the wealthier party is absolutely in a position to protect his/her existing property prior to and during the marriage. Marital property laws vary from state to state, but I believe that in EVERY state, one can maintain the distinction of "separate property" by truly keeping it separate. If you comingle your millions in a joint bank account and joint investments and have equal access to it over the course of a 15-year marriage, you can't then scream and holler how it's "not fair" that your ex-spouse has an interest in some portion of those millions.

ninerbuff

NorthCascades wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

A friend of mine got recently divorced. He was financially independent and didn't get a prenup signed. His ex wife (who is 15 years younger) and he were married for 5 years and no kids. Now it's a major court battle for money. Had he signed an agreeable prenup, this may not be the case.
With divorce rates at 50%, if you had came into a marriage with a lot of money, would you have a prenup signed?
For me, it's a yes.

Is this the guy you mentioned in the DNA Testing thread? The one whose wife left him because he bought a race wheelset when he could have spent the money taking her on a vacation?

No. Different friend that I knew since high school. The other was someone I got to know through our kids hanging out together.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff

TheRoadDog wrote: »

Actually the divorce rate for people married since 1990 is only 30%.

I don't know if pre-nups are necessary. I guess it couldn't hurt. I would have never asked my wife for one 25 years ago. Hindsight makes me optimistic, I guess.

I don't know of anyone that has had a pre-nup. I think, if you are getting married and already planning an exit strategy, perhaps you should reconsider getting married.

Nobody intends to die, but accidents do happen by no fault of the victim many times. But insurance is still important to have in this case.
I don't think having a prenup is planning for an exit, but planning just in case.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

jenilla1

The divorce rate is closer to 30%. The divorce rate peaked in the 80's at 50%. Some of the stats are skewed by divorced people with multiple marriages and divorces - I guess you could call them serial divorcees. (Like my FIL who has been married 3 times and would have been divorced 3 times but he says he's too old to bother anymore. Nice attitude, right?)

People are taking their time getting into marriage these days, since they don't feel like they "have to" anymore, so divorce isn't really as common anymore. Nobody I know has a pre-nup and most of the people I know are NOT divorced. I'm not too worried about it. I figure that's the chance you take and it should all figure into the decision in the first place...Don't get married if you can't handle the consequences - you really don't have to get married at all. It's no longer a social requirement.

jenilla1

FreyasRebirth wrote: »

We didn't, but everything we've accomplished was done together. If my husband were to pass away and I remarried before our children were independent, I would get a prenup to protect the wealth their father worked to provide for them.

Excellent point. I didn't have one because we were both basically starting out and building a life together. Established, older people might want one. I think I just wouldn't bother getting married again if I thought I needed protection, though.

Lounmoun

Morgaen73 wrote: »

deputy_randolph wrote: »

Why even get married if you are going to "need" a prenup? Just stay single and keep all of your $.

The problem is that in South Africa, if you have been in a relationship and living together for a certain period the courts treat it as if you were married and then community of property applies. This means you are going to lose half your stuff anyway lol

Lounmoun wrote: »

I got married 17 years ago. We had no money or significant assets. No prenup. I still don't think it is necessary for us.
I don't know how I'd feel if I had a lot of money/assets going into a marriage.

When my sister got married she was asked to sign a prenup and did. It was more to put her in her place than anything. It was definitely not to end things amicably should they divorce.

This is in the case of your sister and is certainly not universal. In our case it was my wife that demanded a pre-nup and at the time she was the one that had the lower income.

I never said my sister was a universal case. My sister's husband is a special sort of mean and emotionally abusive person. I don't believe everyone who wants a prenup has his motivation. There are probably some other people who are like him on this planet though.
All of these anecdotes about prenups, marriage, divorce mentioned in this thread are not universal cases including your case. Is anyone saying they are?

777Gemma888

Prenup - YES. I do not like sharing as it is. Lol.

zdyb23456

My rationale mind says yes if one has significant assets going into a marriage.
My heart says no

socajam

Most definitely - more so if its your second, third etc marriage.

besaro

i think it protects both parties, they dont always skew one way, clauses can be added. I personally think the idea of marriage is ridiculous but to each his own. I happen to be married but only so I could get on his insurance a million years ago otherwise I never really saw the point and have never worn a wedding ring.