Prenuptial agreement? What do you think?

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  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,970 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    A friend of mine got recently divorced. He was financially independent and didn't get a prenup signed. His ex wife (who is 15 years younger) and he were married for 5 years and no kids. Now it's a major court battle for money. Had he signed an agreeable prenup, this may not be the case.
    With divorce rates at 50%, if you had came into a marriage with a lot of money, would you have a prenup signed?
    For me, it's a yes.

    Is this the guy you mentioned in the DNA Testing thread? The one whose wife left him because he bought a race wheelset when he could have spent the money taking her on a vacation?
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    Nikki10129 wrote: »
    No one gets married thinking they'll get divorced, getting a pre-nup doesn't mean you think it won't work out, but I'm the type of person who likes to be prepared for all scenarios. If I had a lot of assets I'd worked hard for you can bet I'll be protecting those, and I wouldn't be offended if the reverse situation occurred and my partner wanted a pre-nup. Hopefully it never comes into effect, or any separation would be amicable, but you never know what life is going to throw at you and I've seen couples who you'd think were perfect and one thing happened that no one ever thought would.

    I completely agree. Things happen and people change. I think pre-nups are very wise in my opinion.

  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
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    No way in hell.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    I see the point of it. Mostly if I really loved someone and he was rich (and I'm not), I'd probably insist on signing one just so that he knows that I'm NOT in for the money, you know?

    I'm divorced and remarried (my husband had a divorce too) and we signed no prenup, for what it's worth.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Actually the divorce rate for people married since 1990 is only 30%.

    I don't know if pre-nups are necessary. I guess it couldn't hurt. I would have never asked my wife for one 25 years ago. Hindsight makes me optimistic, I guess.

    I don't know of anyone that has had a pre-nup. I think, if you are getting married and already planning an exit strategy, perhaps you should reconsider getting married.
  • Leenizi129
    Leenizi129 Posts: 133 Member
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    Yes when a lot of money is involved everyone needs to protect themselves.
  • drawaimfire
    drawaimfire Posts: 83 Member
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    I think it is a good idea but is specific to each couple.

    I was married for 10 years, no children, separated now for over 2 years and I think the main difference of why some could need it is that sometimes, people turn into the nastiest version of themselves, almost unimaginable versions, whether they are the one leaving or the one being left. (Abuse of any kind aside, mental, physical etc. as a reason for dissolving the marriage)

    We did not. Mutual love and respect built over time, means you don't act like a toddler screaming 'MINE, MINE, MINE!' when the marriage dissolves. You love/loved them, remember that. Hurts like the air has been turned to shards of glass but you figure it out.

    I came into the relationship with much more in money and holdings, which I was advised against doing without a pre-nup but I wouldn't change a thing. It could have, of course, gone very poorly for me.

    Good thread, thank you for posting it, the replies have been interesting and quite varied :#
  • kenzienal
    kenzienal Posts: 205 Member
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    I personally cant see why others get so upset over the idea of signing a pre-nup.

    My SO and I don't have a lot of wealth by any means, but he owns a home, a few vehicles, a nice property, will inherit an entire company. I shouldn't be entitled to all of the above just because we met, fell in love, and decided to get married.

    Our neighbor lived in a construction trailer (the one you tow behind your truck) for years because he didnt sign a prenup, and she took everything in the divorce. Hes finally got a house of his own, but is still paying her thousands a month because hes got to continue her lifestyle as it was before, and pay for the house (which he bought) that she lives in.

    I love my man enough that if he wanted to get married, I wouldnt want him spending the marriage worried that if something goes wrong, I will take everything hes built or earned.
    deputy_randolph wrote: »
    Why even get married if you are going to "need" a prenup? Just stay single and keep all of your $.

    Why even get married is probably the most confusing question I see in regards to prenups.

    Why not commit yourself before the lord to the person you love?
    Why not make your marriage a legal status and become his wife in name change also?
    Why is the fact that a worst case scenario plan is such a downer, that marriage is no longer worth it?

    I choose not to wear rose colored glasses and pretend that "love triumphs all". Its a good ideology, but at the end of the day, its just not fact.
  • inertiastrength
    inertiastrength Posts: 2,343 Member
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    A prenup (at least in Canada) doesn't protect the matrimonial home anyways so unless there is a huge gap in your financial situation in terms of other assets and investments anything after the marriage is fair game anyway. So would i sign one? Sure. would I need one? Nah, me and my bf are pretty equally poor lol
  • ClubSilencio
    ClubSilencio Posts: 2,983 Member
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    Don't you have to fill out a bunch of forms to get legally married? Might as well slide another one in there.

    "But if you love someone...."
    "Oh, but the sanctity of marriage...."

    HAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA



  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    If I was financially stable b4 marriage yes I would get a prenup.
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,970 Member
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    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    I don't know of anyone that has had a pre-nup. I think, if you are getting married and already planning an exit strategy, perhaps you should reconsider getting married.

    Is a pre-nup actually an exit strategy? I mean, how many people only wear a seat belt when they're planning to crash their car????
  • Allgaun
    Allgaun Posts: 221 Member
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    I think it's a good idea for second marriages or if there are pre-existing children. I can see wanting to protect your assets for your kids.
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
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    Prince William was asked if he was going to have Kate Middleton sign a pre-nup. He said no.
  • FreyasRebirth
    FreyasRebirth Posts: 514 Member
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    We didn't, but everything we've accomplished was done together. If my husband were to pass away and I remarried before our children were independent, I would get a prenup to protect the wealth their father worked to provide for them.
  • jessiferrrb
    jessiferrrb Posts: 1,758 Member
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    NorthCascades wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    I don't know of anyone that has had a pre-nup. I think, if you are getting married and already planning an exit strategy, perhaps you should reconsider getting married.

    Is a pre-nup actually an exit strategy? I mean, how many people only wear a seat belt when they're planning to crash their car????

    this.

    i would sign one if asked and would ask if not. i own my house. i love my house. i want to always own my house and i want it to be just mine. it gives me a sense of security and stability. i would absolutely share living in my house with someone but i've been in and out of love enough times to know that the house is a safer bet.

  • JeepHair77
    JeepHair77 Posts: 1,291 Member
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    I don't have an issue with a pre-nuptual agreement in concept. The law gives us the default rules about how property is allocated during a marriage, but those are just the "default" rules. There's no reason in the world why the parties shouldn't agree to different rules IF both parties understand what they're agreeing to. I'd hope they're both represented by good counsel in the negotiation process. I think, for me, that would potentially start our marriage off in sort of an adversarial place, but I don't judge what other people do.

    I also think that if one party is quite wealthy and the other is not, the wealthier party is absolutely in a position to protect his/her existing property prior to and during the marriage. Marital property laws vary from state to state, but I believe that in EVERY state, one can maintain the distinction of "separate property" by truly keeping it separate. If you comingle your millions in a joint bank account and joint investments and have equal access to it over the course of a 15-year marriage, you can't then scream and holler how it's "not fair" that your ex-spouse has an interest in some portion of those millions.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,525 Member
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    NorthCascades wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    A friend of mine got recently divorced. He was financially independent and didn't get a prenup signed. His ex wife (who is 15 years younger) and he were married for 5 years and no kids. Now it's a major court battle for money. Had he signed an agreeable prenup, this may not be the case.
    With divorce rates at 50%, if you had came into a marriage with a lot of money, would you have a prenup signed?
    For me, it's a yes.

    Is this the guy you mentioned in the DNA Testing thread? The one whose wife left him because he bought a race wheelset when he could have spent the money taking her on a vacation?
    No. Different friend that I knew since high school. The other was someone I got to know through our kids hanging out together.

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  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,525 Member
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    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    Actually the divorce rate for people married since 1990 is only 30%.

    I don't know if pre-nups are necessary. I guess it couldn't hurt. I would have never asked my wife for one 25 years ago. Hindsight makes me optimistic, I guess.

    I don't know of anyone that has had a pre-nup. I think, if you are getting married and already planning an exit strategy, perhaps you should reconsider getting married.
    Nobody intends to die, but accidents do happen by no fault of the victim many times. But insurance is still important to have in this case.
    I don't think having a prenup is planning for an exit, but planning just in case.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    The divorce rate is closer to 30%. The divorce rate peaked in the 80's at 50%. Some of the stats are skewed by divorced people with multiple marriages and divorces - I guess you could call them serial divorcees. (Like my FIL who has been married 3 times and would have been divorced 3 times but he says he's too old to bother anymore. Nice attitude, right?)

    People are taking their time getting into marriage these days, since they don't feel like they "have to" anymore, so divorce isn't really as common anymore. Nobody I know has a pre-nup and most of the people I know are NOT divorced. I'm not too worried about it. I figure that's the chance you take and it should all figure into the decision in the first place...Don't get married if you can't handle the consequences - you really don't have to get married at all. It's no longer a social requirement. B)

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