Always restarting

julydecmay

I am 33, and I have been trying to lose weight for over ten years now. Right now, I need to lose 140 lbs, and it's the heaviest I've ever been. My weight goes up and down, but because life circumstances change, not because of hard work on my part. I get that weight loss is burning more calories than you consume, and I have tried various ways to accomplish this. I cannot seem to stick to anything. I start off strong counting every calorie, then within the week, it seems as though I have forgotten all about it. I log all food in my diary, then nothing for 3 months. I will exercise consistently for a week, then quit. When people say "I keep losing and gaining the same 30 pounds," all I can think of is "I can't even lose the first 30 pounds." I have read that for many people, the lack of commitment usually means the person does not want it bad enough. I do. I definitely do, but I am weak. I always always always tell myself that "I will start tomorrow." Of course, I say the same thing the next day. I have such a hard time saying no to food that I like. I know I should keep it out of the house, but my situation does not always allow for that. Sometimes it will be here, and I need to learn how to say no. I recently tried keto, but it was so restrictive that I was miserable. After being online and looking up weight loss tips and motivation for over ten years, I have read absolutely everything. How can I stop reading and start doing? Why can't I stick to anything? How do I find the "want to" to do it? ANY input would be appreciated.

crskoglund

julydecmay wrote: »

I have read that for many people, the lack of commitment usually means the person does not want it bad enough. I do. I definitely do, but I am weak.

You're not weak -- weight loss is HARD. Willpower is a finite resource, and it takes a ton of it to commit to a major lifestyle change. Not only do you have to learn new habits, you have to unlearn old ones.

I'm not sure how you've previously attempted to implement these changes, so apologies if this advice is off the mark, but I wonder if you're trying to do too much too quickly. Changing your diet AND committing to a regular exercise schedule all at once can be overwhelming, and if one starts to slip it's all too easy to feel defeated and throw in the towel all together (e.g. "well, I already screwed up by eating that cupcake so why bother going to the gym? I'll just consider this day a loss and start tomorrow...").

Try breaking your main goals down into smaller ones, and roll them out incrementally.

For instance:

Week 1-2: Commit to logging your food in MFP. Don't worry about the calories, macros, etc. Just get into the habit of logging. Practice being honest and forgiving yourself. Did you indulge in a little too much cake at that birthday party? Totally fine. Just log it and move on. Did one too many Jagerbombs over the weekend (and who hasn't??)? Log it and move on.

Week 3-4: Make a change or two nutritionally. This can be anything, really, but I'd usually recommend the first thing you do is try to stop drinking your calories, or at the very least scale it back. If you drink a lot of regular soda, switch to diet (or, better yet, flavored seltzer or just plain water). Drinking a latte every morning? Try switching to black coffee (If that's too much, try switching to a less sugary coffee drink. Eventually, though, try to ween yourself down to black. You'll learn to love it, I promise!) Keep logging your daily food intake, but don't worry about the non-liquid calorie count. That will come later.

Week 4-8: NOW you set a calorie goal and try and stick to it. Start with .5 or 1lbs per week. At this point, you've already gotten in the habit of logging with MFP, and you've already started making changes in your diet, so this won't be so much of a leap as if you were starting from scratch. As far as the food in your house is concerned - you don't have to avoid them. Try to incorporate them into your calorie allotment. Keto is wonderful for some people, but it's not the best approach for everyone. I could never do it. There are millions of paths to weight loss, so there's no need to pick one that makes you miserable. You can still have the foods you like - just plan around them. If you, say, want a bacon cheeseburger for dinner, maybe do a lighter breakfast.

Week 8-10: Commit to exercising one day a week.

Week 10-12: Two days a week.

And so on and so forth. Be patient with yourself. Don't let one bad day, or bad week, throw you off your game. Don't think "I'll start tomorrow", think "I'll continue tomorrow." And as tempting as it may be, don't skip ahead in whatever plan you decide on. When you're highly motivated, it's tempting to jump in headfirst, but motivation is fleeting, and burnout comes fast and hard. Building discipline is what's going to get you to your goal weight. It's a marathon, not a sprint. But you have the drive. You have the ambition. You've totally got this.

Heather4448

crskoglund wrote: »

You're not weak -- weight loss is HARD. Willpower is a finite resource, and it takes a ton of it to commit to a major lifestyle change. You've totally got this.

Every single word this user said! Good luck to you!

mommazach

add friends on here who support you and are consistent. One of the hardest things for me to do was keep going some days... and then I have a Pal who wrote something brilliant that I recognized myself in. Add me if you want encouragement. I'm really good at M-F when I'm in the office (and sitting through meetings) I log daily, and am down 67 out of 87 lbs. I'd love to root for you.

KateTii

It sounds like you need to calorie count eating what you're used to, but less (aka, not keto which is a massive change) AND do some meal prep. That first two weeks is much easier when your only thought has to be to grab a pre-portioned and counted meal from the freezer and chuck it in the microwave.

I found working on one change at a time was a way to avoid burnout. Had I started meal prep, done a huge change to my diet and started busting my *kitten* in the gym all at once, I wouldn't have lasted too long.

inertiastrength

Start with just logging everything accurately. Get used to the idea of weighing and logging and THEN worry about the next step which is cutting a few hundred of those calories out. Even if you lose slowly, you will lose and it might be a good idea to start slow so that it isn't a massive lifestyle overhaul right away. You can do this, trust us. We've all been where you are.

louisah

Everyone here has really good advice. I always found that cheerleaders were a great motivation--they give you accountability and help keep you from giving up or resorting to your wicked ways, ha ha. Also, results are a great motivation. Once you commit to one baby step at a time--you'll burn out if you try to do too much too fast--and you start seeing results, it's much more exciting and easy to keep going, especially when you have cheerleaders rooting you on and find yourself being a cheerleader to others. In fact, that's why I'm here--I desperately need new cheerleaders. Rah rah, let's do it.

Sheisinlove109

Weight loss is never simple. As a big girl, I fight the fight everyday. I fight it when I eat, drink, sleep, exercise...you name it. Just like my kids "if you give them an inch they take a yard" same goes for me.

I've lost 70lbs so far and have about 80-90 to go. What has helped me?

Sleep. This has made a huge difference.

Water. Sometimes I feel like I'm floating but it helps me with my workouts and my skin is looking better than any jar/scrip I've had.

Logging. I log every morsel. Keeps me in check.

Weighing. Some say daily, some say not. I do daily. Again, keeps me in check.

Eating cleaner. You know the routine.

A cheat. I don't call it a cheat but many here do. If I want a cupcake, I eat a cupcake. Then done. No stress. CICO, rest of the day.

Exercise. I do daily. Some disagree, again, keeps me in check. I usually do about 65 minutes on the elliptical but everyone is different. It's a comfort spot that took me a while to get to.

Life. I've really tried to cut out the "noise" and stop sweating the small stuff. I don't go to therapy but it has helped so many.

Nutritionist. I've been a few times, check with your plan...surprisingly with many, it is free.

Goofing up...when you goof up, learn from it and move on. Don't dwell on it. We are human!

Last...a daily pic (I do post workout). I am my own motivator on the days I don't want to do right. I just scroll back days on my phone and I can totally see the difference.

Friend me if you'd like.