Are your partners supportive?

Bex953172

Are your partners supportive of your journey?

My partner will help me by getting me the food I need in the house, not waving delicious treats in my face and will help me do exercises correctly to better myself.

But I don't think he believes I'll actually be pretty skinny one day.
I mean I'm a size 14-16 now and I want to be at a size 8-10 and I'm 5'7"
I don't want to be like boney skinny but as slim as I can be without looking like I've gone too far? If that makes sense.

I don't know if I just misunderstood him but I dunno
Just made me think because he is supportive but I don't think he believes I can do it?

deputy_randolph

When my husband and I met (almost 20 years ago), I was between a size10-12. I'm a size 4 now. He tends to like thicker women. He's been extremely supportive, b/c he would also prefer me to be comfortable with myself...and not complain about my weight.

I'm think he's found new things to be attracted to...like my "new" muscles.

amyteacake

I met my boyfriend last year when I had already started to lose weight and was doing weight training and used to be healthy and he doesn't mind it. He's quite supportive of me and my journey and helps to boost my confidence when I feel bad about things, like if I haven't been to the gym in a few days or my diet hadn't been that great he'll tell me that tomorrow is a new day and I'll get back to it eventually.

Me and him do eat pretty bad food at the weekends but when I stay at his during the weekends it usually is my cheat day anyway! He often makes jokes as well that I should be able to lift something that's heavy because I go to the gym and I have muscles apparently

brookielaw

Yes. My husband and I were best buddies for 14 years before getting into a relationship, and we've been together for 3 and a half years. He knew me at my absolute heaviest (not pictured) where I was at the deepest end of the fat lady stores (30/32W). We got together as I was getting healthier (maybe a size 16 or so?), but I got huge again with my pregnancy and after, then I rededicated myself and now I'm wearing 10's and 12's. I know he prefers thicker women, but he also prefers a healthy, happy wife.

He supports me by cooking the way I need to be eating, buying the appropriate groceries if he's the one shopping, and by watching the girls so I can work out. He also lets me drag him along on 5Ks and off to do active things. He still eats the way he wants to eat but doesn't wave his treats in my face.

Try not to worry if your partner thinks you can do it, focus on making yourself healthy for you.

Ironandwine69

Bex953172 wrote: »

Are your partners supportive of your journey?

My partner will help me by getting me the food I need in the house, not waving delicious treats in my face and will help me do exercises correctly to better myself.

But I don't think he believes I'll actually be pretty skinny one day.
I mean I'm a size 14-16 now and I want to be at a size 8-10 and I'm 5'7"
I don't want to be like boney skinny but as slim as I can be without looking like I've gone too far? If that makes sense.

I don't know if I just misunderstood him but I dunno
Just made me think because he is supportive but I don't think he believes I can do it?

I'm 5'10 and a size 6. I don't look skinny.

cwolfman13

My wife and I were both competitive athletes once upon a time turned recreational athletes...so yeah.

perfect_storm

My husband is supportive he wants me happy and me at a healthy is me happy have you asked your sig other if they believe in you are you just assuming he thinks you can not do it?

Vanguard1

Not very much. It's not that she tries to sabotage me, but rolls her eyes if I don't want a second plate or desert. I mention IF, she says it's ridiculous...

zyxst

In short, yes.

beginforthelasttime16

my boyfriend is super supportive. He wants to lose weight and be healthy too so when I tell him I want to do something (ie the Whole30) he willingly does it too!

bjdavidson964

My husband of 25 years is very supportive. After a number of starts and stops, I finally got more serious after we were empty nesters since I now have more time. But...he did bring me a brownie back from lunch yesterday from my favorite sweet shop! He knows brownies are my favorite and I haven't had one in the longest time. And I absolutely ate ALL of it...yum!! I went to two Zumba classes that evening to make up for it. He puts up with me being gone from the house a lot due to working out everyday. Hum...wonder what he's up to... We do work together running a small business, so we're with each other all day except when he's out on appointments. He's gotten accustomed to me buying unusual things to eat, like PB2 powdered peanut butter. That one threw him for a bit of a loop!

happysherri

My boyfriend is my gym partner - so YES! It's awesome, I enjoy going to the gym with him. He also eats all of healthy recipes I find, without complaining (sometimes I get a that was delicious, other times silence). ha I am the grocery shopper, so he doesn't really bring much junk into the house.

***Side note: sometimes we overthink what others may think of us. Quit that, I use to over analyze what I "thought" others were thinking, this is when I had depression. Take it for what it sounds like it is - support. Be happy, a lot of people struggle because their SO/spouse isn't supportive at all. Keep going ***I am 5'7 and a size 8/9 american women size pants - at my heaviest I was 200 lbs (for me that's heavy, I've always been an athlete)

You can do it

inertiastrength

me and my bf met on a bodybuilding FB group so we're very supportive of each other. We are both macro geeks

kenzienal

My boyfriend is constantly supportive. He goes to the gym, I work out at home. I plan on going to the gym with him once my 90 day home workout program is over, however.

The days he gets home from the gym(and after my workout), we usually go for a walk. Last night I was feeling pretty lazy after my workout and just wanted to sit on the couch and grub on chips. Instead, he motivated me to go for a walk with him, and told me I can have the chips after dinner (knowing I would be too stuffed by then to even want them anymore.) He's too smooth.

He tells me I am pretty how I am, but encourages me to get better. He wants me to feel better about myself not for him, but for myself. He always compliments how far I have come when I am feeling down, and gives me the little kick in the butt I need when I am not feeling my workout.

I would have probably given up long ago if it wasn't for him. Even at my biggest, (158lbs), he still always told me how pretty I was. Now I am motivated to get back to the size my body is meant to be (135lbs) to impress him even more.

stelly76

Yes. My husband tells me he is proud of me when I reach goals or stay consistent. When I'm feeling frustrated, he helps motivate me.

haymanchantal

My boyfriend called me an ugly fat whale and when I go on holiday on the beach there will be no water left

haymanchantal

He called me a whale

haymanchantal

I know I'm not beautiful but I don't think I'm ugly??

rhinestoneradio

haymanchantal wrote: »

My boyfriend called me an ugly fat whale and when I go on holiday on the beach there will be no water left

Wow - you are not fat, and you are definitely not ugly! I don't know what your relationship is like, but treating you like that can be a hallmark of an abusive relationship - making you think that you are worthless so you won't leave. I hope you have the support you need for a positive self-image! You are beautiful. I put a link below if you are interested in other warning signs - I don't presume to know your life and hope I'm not being intrustive - only trying to help. Wish you the best! https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/10/13/21-warning-signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/

amyteacake

haymanchantal wrote: »

My boyfriend called me an ugly fat whale and when I go on holiday on the beach there will be no water left

You're not fat or ugly! What he's doing to you isn't right and he shouldn't be treating you like that at all!

lorrpb

My husband has been incredibly supportive. I love him dearly and I know he is greatly relieved at my success, because it means our chances of living and being together longer just went up a huge amount!

Ironandwine69

haymanchantal wrote: »

He called me a whale

I hope​ you're joking.

lorrpb

Bex953172 wrote: »

Are your partners supportive of your journey?

My partner will help me by getting me the food I need in the house, not waving delicious treats in my face and will help me do exercises correctly to better myself.

But I don't think he believes I'll actually be pretty skinny one day.
I mean I'm a size 14-16 now and I want to be at a size 8-10 and I'm 5'7"
I don't want to be like boney skinny but as slim as I can be without looking like I've gone too far? If that makes sense.

I don't know if I just misunderstood him but I dunno
Just made me think because he is supportive but I don't think he believes I can do it?

It makes me sad that you are questioning his support. What more could you want than all the things you mentioned that he does for you? Do YOU believe you can/will do it? Just sayin.

Golbat

My husband is wonderful. We've been together for a very long time and he's very supportive. I was very thin when we got married, but then my thyroid went bad and I had a couple of kids. I've taken off the majority of the weight I put on, but he never acted like he found me less attractive or felt like I had to lose weight, and he is at the same time supportive of my work to lose weight. I am confident he will love me and find me attractive no matter what happens in the future.

Haymanchantal: You are not ugly, and you are not a whale, and that sounds emotionally abusive to me. I recommend counseling, if not for him then at least for you. If you can't afford counseling and you attend a church or other religious organization, you might be able to get help from a religious leader.

Onamissionforfit

Very! Mine never judge me when I put on a lot of weight and has been awesome the entire fat loss journey. Lost 40 pounds now and still going. The real question is do you believe you can do it? You have to believe in yourself as well. He will come around when he starts seeing results and then you can say I told you so. Some people doubted I could do it as well feels good to show them.

Bex953172

lorrpb wrote: »

Bex953172 wrote: »

Are your partners supportive of your journey?

My partner will help me by getting me the food I need in the house, not waving delicious treats in my face and will help me do exercises correctly to better myself.

But I don't think he believes I'll actually be pretty skinny one day.
I mean I'm a size 14-16 now and I want to be at a size 8-10 and I'm 5'7"
I don't want to be like boney skinny but as slim as I can be without looking like I've gone too far? If that makes sense.

I don't know if I just misunderstood him but I dunno
Just made me think because he is supportive but I don't think he believes I can do it?

It makes me sad that you are questioning his support. What more could you want than all the things you mentioned that he does for you? Do YOU believe you can/will do it? Just sayin.

Well I've thought about it..

Physically he is supportive (getting me the right foods and helping with exercise)

Emotionally he is not.

But a journey like this is a physical and emotional one.

Don't get me wrong I am happy with him because he's not just dismissed it entirely.

And I am doing it for me.

Either he's not emotionally supportive or he's secretly using reverse psychology to make me want to do it more and prove him wrong!

@haymanchantal
You are not fat or ugly!
You're very very pretty!

If you're the size of a whale then I wonder what whales your partner has seen!

Is he just joking? Because my OH sometimes says it to me but as an obvious joke!
But I just cal him a fat bast*** back and we laugh about it?
If not then maybe that's a behaviour you should look into..

littlemcbird

I don't feel like my husband is very supportive of me... but I think that's my fault with having started and stopped fitness so many times before. When I ask to train with him he can't be bother ect but if I'm about to eat something not that good for you he will tell me I shouldn't be eating that ?? So I'm not actually sure to be honest lol

haymanchantal

Thanks girls I put it down to his faulty personality and trying to bring me down but it still makes me feel like crap dreading my holiday with him I'd rather go on my own and not feel judged on what I look like or feel like he's embarrassed by me at the end of the day he is not all that great himself although he thinks he's gods gift ha anyway onwards and upwards I don't need a man in my life I'm quite capable and independent with my 5 kids I've had a c section and a ectopic previously so have a horizontal scar from my belly button down and the c section scar too so get called jelly belly blah blah blah he bores me I told him to go find a skinny woman cos I'm not interested

Ni_La82

My husband tries but doesn't understand. It's either one extreme or the other.
I did Lindora and the first day he brought home Popeyes fried chicken.
Then he got over enthusiastic. When I started losing weight he told everyone I was on a diet (it was embarrassing) and he'd be irritated with me if I so much as looked at dessert. When I thought I was done he said I hadn't lost enough weight. I gave up about then. I'm ready to restart but I'm keeping him out of it.

Geocitiesuser

My partner is dat boy in the mirror. Sometime he's a real kitten.

bhurley100

I think your husband should love and support you no matter what you do in your fitness journey.
My husband is happy to see me happy no matter what kind of workout or diet plan I want to do in my journey. He gets me set up so I can do what I want to do. He is amazingly supportive!!:-)
Thats how it should be girl. Tell your man you would appreciate some encouragement and praise through this:-)