Forgetting his face.

Lutah7

I'm not entirely sure where to post this and I do so with a bit of trepidation. The question is, if you have ever lost a loved one, do you find that you forget their face, voice, how their laugh sounded? What do you do to NOT forget?

pobalita

I lost my mom almost 20 years ago and I remember her voice and face as clear as if she were still here. I see her in my children's expressions and gestures. Certain smells remind me of her very much and bring back clear memories of her. Sometimes she's in my dreams and when I waske up it feels like I had an actual visit with her.

I'm sorry for your loss.

aquarabbit

Remember a specific gathering where they were and replay it over and over again. I do this with my mother. I think back to the Christmas right before she died and if I really concentrate, I can remember her sound and even her smell. Over time it gets easier to recall if you make sure to keep doing that. It does take some effort not to forget.

onwarddownward

I have a hard time remembering my mom's face. She died when I was 29, nearly 20 years ago. When I do remember her face, it's from her younger days.

Lutah7

Remember a specific gathering where they were and replay it over and over again. I do this with my mother. I think back to the Christmas right before she died and if I really concentrate, I can remember her sound and even her smell. Over time it gets easier to recall if you make sure to keep doing that. It does take some effort not to forget.

I have desperately tried to remember those moments, but the most recent was when he was deployed. The memory of him leaving was not a good one yet it seems the only one I can vividly recall. It is ..... Scary

RhonndaJ

I lost my father and a friend 30 plus years ago, and my mom about 15 years ago and on a day to day basis I find that I can't remember their voices or laughs. But sometimes something will jar my memory and remind me about them and it'll come back so clearly that it's painful. I remember their faces, but it's usually as if it were from a photograph and not really them.

I wish I knew of a way to help you keep the memories closer, but sometimes I think things slip away to some degree to make the loss easier to bear over time. I don't know, it's a hard thing.

MyChocolateDiet

:frown: :flowerforyou:

Nishi2013

Sorry for your loss. My grandma passed when I was 7. I still remember her smell. My mom passed 3 years ago. I remember everything about her

pinkgigi

I sometimes find it hard to remember my husbandm who died 5 years ago. What I find hard is trying to remember the happy times, it was 18 months of horror from when he got sick to when he died, and that is at the forefront of my mind, I wish I could remember him when he was happy. I find though, that places that we went can bring back the feeling of love that we experienced.

XXX G

Mrs__G

I don't have any great suggestions to add. Just want you to know that I am so sorry for your loss. :frown:

Lutah7

I sometimes find it hard to remember my husbandm who died 5 years ago. What I find hard is trying to remember the happy times, it was 18 months of horror from when he got sick to when he died, and that is at the forefront of my mind, I wish I could remember him when he was happy. I find though, that places that we went can bring back the feeling of love that we experienced.

XXX G

I'm sorry. Sorry if I brought up pain for people. I didn't think that through and now I feel badly but I don't know how to delete this. I'm sorry

michael1976_ca

my dad and cousin died 21 years ago. i do find i forget some thing but i have all the memories inside me. it hits me really hard around the time they passed away. op the memories are there in holidays. to the clothing he weared. sorry op for your loss i was 15

jmcreynolds91

I lost my sister when I was 14 and she was 15. Im 23 now so awhile ago. She died of cancer and down syndrome. I always think of our times together and laughing with each other. She was such a bright spirit and I will never forget her. It does seem to get distant sometimes. We were so close, did everything together! I usually try and think about how she would say things and her laugh mostly.

Ely82010

I sometimes find it hard to remember my husbandm who died 5 years ago. What I find hard is trying to remember the happy times, it was 18 months of horror from when he got sick to when he died, and that is at the forefront of my mind, I wish I could remember him when he was happy. I find though, that places that we went can bring back the feeling of love that we experienced.

XXX G

I'm sorry. Sorry if I brought up pain for people. I didn't think that through and now I feel badly but I don't know how to delete this. I'm sorry

Nothing to feel sorry about, except for your loss.

My mom died 50 years ago, when I was still a teen, my father died 28 years ago, and my brother 2 years ago. I remember their faces but not their voices, at least not clearly. My brother sounded like my dad on the phone so now that he is gone it seems that I lost the sound of both voices.

When I dream about them, their faces are always like a blur and I never know why. Time is a healer but not at the same speed with everybody. I am sorry about your sadness and pain. God bless.

Cp731

I remember everything. his smell, his amazing body, how thoughtful he was

he was so funny, id always catch him kinda discussing something w/himself tho, quietly whenever I asked him about it, he'd brush it off

I remember thinking the last time we made love, that he was gaining some weight..lol
I remember taking responsibility for a huge disagreement we got into concerning our child that lasted for a few years. the look on his face was priceless. he forgave me, I believe he died in peace.

R.I.P

conniemaxwell5

Remember a specific gathering where they were and replay it over and over again. I do this with my mother. I think back to the Christmas right before she died and if I really concentrate, I can remember her sound and even her smell. Over time it gets easier to recall if you make sure to keep doing that. It does take some effort not to forget.

I have desperately tried to remember those moments, but the most recent was when he was deployed. The memory of him leaving was not a good one yet it seems the only one I can vividly recall. It is ..... Scary

Look at photos often, they will help you remember the happier times.

Pixi_Rex

I lost my cousin, my bestfriend, and my grandfather 13 years ago. I forget my cousins and grandfathers voices, not their faces. My best friend though never. I hear his voice all the time, I see his face when I thimk about him.

I think photos help with remembering. Do you have any videos?

CeddysMum

I am so sorry for your loss. It is obvious that you are still very much in the grieving process. That will take as much time as you need, for some that means months, for others it means years.

In my opinion and experience (lost my mother 35 years ago, my father in 2003 and my husband in 2006) the 'fading' of our loved one's faces and voices is part of the grieving process.

We do desperately try to hang on to them at first but eventually they become memories and feelings rather than a clear picture in front of our eyes - and ***it is OK not to remember the faces and/or voice clearly***.

That does NOT mean you're forgetting your loved one, it means that you are beginning to process your loss.

Many (((hugs))) to you!!!

carryingon

My son said to me today "Mommy, I don't remember what daddy looks like." I let him watch a video of him. It helped him.

RekindledRose

I'm so sorry about your loss. It's so very hard; I used to look at pictures and play back memories constantly, but now I am more content. I know that my loved one would have wanted me to embrace the life I have and not dwell on the past. Learn from it, know that it was good to have the love, but give myself permission to look forward to the future.

Best wishes for you.

77tes

Someone you loved cannot be forgotten! He is part of you. Right now your mind is repressing the memory to avoid the pain. As you pass through your grief, you will be able to look back at the happy times. The memory of this special person will be with you until the end of your life.